"Or is it less familiar to call you Beelzebub?", 16 September 2017
A metal band rents an old farmhouse to use as a recording studio for their new album. It doesn't take long, however, for things to go horribly wrong. Creatures begin to appear and people start to go missing. Soon, only lead singer John Triton (Jon Mikl Thor) is left to do battle with the devil and his many minions. But Triton is not who he seems and is ready for this battle.
A plot summary really can't do Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare justice. There's more here than seems to be at first glance. It's a fairly ambitious plot for a reported $53,000 budget. Speaking of the budget, with limited funds like that, it's amazing how watchable the end product actually is. You can tell that there's a lot of unpaid work by family and friends, not to mention Jon Mikl Thor's music, that were key to making this thing work. And, given the budget, the special effects end up looking "special". No, they won't compete with today's CGI effects or anything from big a big practical effects company, but for what they are, I enjoyed them. And then there's that final fight scene. What a total blast!
Even though I had fun watching most of Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare, there were a few things that kept me from fully embracing the film and lowered my overall rating. The main problem comes from the long stretches of the movie where nothing happens. Maybe I"m just getting too old, but endless shower scenes and PG-rated sex scenes do nothing for me. A little more variety might have really helped.
Overall, I'm impressed with what these people were able to do. I say "these people" because it's apparent Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare was a group effort. The final product is good, but not great. My slightly above average 6/10 rating seems appropriate.
6/10
A cleverly written, humorous, entertaining film, 15 September 2017
Henry Clitterburn is in charge of running an old, crumbling estate. His problem – he doesn't have the funds he needs. Enter a rich old uncle from America. Henry believes that if the uncle were to pass, his money troubles will be solved. Surely Henry can come up with a foolproof plan to do away with his doddering old uncle, right?
What a cleverly written, humorous, entertaining film! Even though How to Murder a Rich Uncle only bears passing resemblances, for whatever reason, I was reminded of Ten Little Indians mixed with Arsenic and Old Lace. The comedy in How to Murder a Rich Uncle is incredibly dark. Much of the humor is derived from death being treated in a matter-of- fact manner. Each attempted murder of Uncle George is more elaborate than the next. Sure, all are doomed to failure (well, they don't kill their intended victim), only adding to the humor. The final one is so ridiculously complicated that it reminded me of something out of Wile E. Coyote's twisted brain. And with each attempt on his life, the unaware Uncle George manages to stumble his way out of trouble. Very funny stuff.
The cast in How to Murder a Rich Uncle is superb. Nigel Patrick, Charles Coburn, Wendy Hiller, and Anthony Newly all give very fine performances. All, however, are upstaged by Katie Johnson. In what would sadly prove to be her last role, she steals the scene every time she's on-screen. Finally, there's the impossibly young Michael Caine in one of his very first roles. He's okay in his small part, but there's nothing to indicate he'd go on to the long, distinguished career he's enjoyed.
8/10
The return of Charlie Brown, 8 September 2017
Admittedly, the plot in When Thieves Fall In leaves a lot to be desired. To put it bluntly, it's ridiculous. Mundy is asked to steal a fur coat from a Baltic country that, for reasons known only to script writer, has Soviet missile plans sown into the lining. For some bizarre reason that I can't begin to explain, a fantastic ceremony is planned where the coat will be presented to a London fashion model (Like I said, it's ridiculous). Mundy needs a female operative and realizes his old friend Charlie Brown (Susan Saint James) is quite naturally the spitting image for the model (Wasn't she the spitting image of Princess Astride in Episode 2?). He convinces Noah to get her out of prison so they can work together.
Despite how ridiculous the whole thing is, When Thieves Fall In is still a lot of fun. You can thank Robert Wagner and Susan Saint James. They had real on-screen chemistry that was a joy to watch. I was able to go along with much of the crazy plot simply because I believed their relationship. I see that Charlie Brown appears in a couple more episodes. I look forward to both and wish she had appeared in a dozen more.
7/10
I love the rabbit, 6 September 2017
The leader of a small Middle Eastern country has been diverting the funds from agricultural assistance provided by the West and plans to use it to purchase military aircraft. The money is squirreled away in a foreign bank. If Mundy can get his hands on the account book, the West might get their money back and preserve the peace. Mundy hopes to use his cover as a fashion designer to get close to the country's First Lady. After gaining her confidence, he'll have access to the leader's home and the account book.
Overall, Totally by Design isn't one of the best episodes, but it's still fun enough. The heist is enjoyable, but, other than one detail, it isn't particularly memorable. That detail is the clever use of a small rabbit to assist in the theft. Mundy's fashion designer cover is a facet of the episode that worked for me. He's quite good, though I'm not sure how believable he is. I think he needed to do more than drape fabric over his client's shoulder. Finally, I enjoyed the little twist at the end. Without some unexpected assistance, Mundy would have surely been caught.
Another real plus for Totally by Design is the supporting cast. It's exceptionally strong. While the names John Van Dreelen, Oscar Beregi, and Ron Soble may not be overly familiar, their faces certainly are. All were rock solid character actors. The usual pattern in It Takes a Thief is for Mundy to woo a Woman of the Week. Here, it's Tina Louise of Gilligan's Island fame. Unfortunately, she's not very good and is upstaged at every turn and in every way imaginable (acting, poise, beauty, etc.) by the older Mari Blanchard. This, unfortunately, was Ms Blanchard's last role. She gives a very engaging performance and is unquestionably the highlight of the episode.
6/10
"Even the Sharknadoes are tougher in New York.", 5 September 2017
In Sharknado 2: The Second One, there's not just one tornado full of sharks, there are three. This time, the sharknados are bearing down on New York. The fear is that the three sharknados will combine into one mega-sharknado. Fortunately for everyone in New York, Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) has just arrived and he has a plan to defeat the sharknados.
These Sharknado movies have to be some of the dumbest things ever put on film. Still, they're so ridiculous they can be fun in that "so bad it's good" sort of way. You can't think too hard about the physics, biology, meteorology, or any other science behind the film's concept or your brain might explode. You just gotta go with it. This one probably isn't as good as the first as it loses points for lack of originality. The surprise factor is completely gone. This lack of originality means that, unfortunately, some of the movie can be dull. How many times can Ian Ziering go completely through a shark with a chainsaw and it still feel fresh? Number 2 includes a steady stream of cameos which, regardless of how you feel about it, helps make for a few funny bits. My favorite had to be Robert Hays in the beginning of the film. Pretty neat seeing him again – and flying a plane. A few of the cameos were, however, super annoying. I could have done without the Today Show cameos altogether. Finally, a couple of other bits, while not exactly original, were enjoyable. My personal fav was Tara Reed attaching the circular saw to her stump and slicing a flying shark in half. Pretty cool. Overall, Sharknado 2: The Second One is okay, but nothing great. A very average 5/10 seems fair to me.
Finally, I'm sure that older folks like me watched Ziering's character run across the floating sharks and immediately thought of the same scene from the Bond movie Live and Let Die. It was silly back then and is just as silly now.
5/10
"I think you'll look great in those lingerie.", 1 September 2017
Birdemic: Shock and Terror was released in 2010. I cannot believe it's taken seven years for this film to finally pop-up on my movie radar. If you've never seen Birdemic: Shock and Terror, do yourself a favor – don't wait as long as I did to catch it. It's a movie that has be seen to be believed. Words cannot do it justice. All at once, it is one of the worst movies I've ever seen, but one of the most fun. Film classes should use Birdemic: Shock and Terror to demonstrate how not to make a movie. Everything you think you've seen done poorly in a movie is most likely done worse here. It's a nightmare. Sound, lighting, cinematography, continuity, acting, and on and on are epically abysmal. It's like watching a slow-motion train-wreck. The two best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) examples of what I'm talking about are the dialogue and special effects. The dialogue sounds so completely unnatural. No one talks like this. It sounds like someone took a foreign language script and ran it through an online translator. And the way the actors deliver these ridiculous lines with a straight face is truly priceless. As for the special effects . . . well, there's really no way to describe them. My vocabulary doesn't include adjectives that can possibly paint a mental picture to adequately describe what's on-screen. You'll just have to watch it to see what I mean. Racking my brain, the only positive I can come up with is Whitney Moore as the female lead, Nathalie. She has more screen presence than the rest of the cast combined.
As bad as Birdemic: Shock and Terror is, it's still an absolute blast to watch. I can't remember ever having this much fun with a movie that is otherwise so Gawd awful. I laughed so hard at the birds exploding on impact that I had to stop the movie more than once. As I've said ad nauseam, I watch movies for entertainment. And boy was I ever entertained. The first half is a bit slow or I would have rated Birdemic: Shock and Terror even higher. I feel "good" about my 7/10 rating.
7/10
A tired, cliché filled plot, 1 September 2017
A CIA agent, code named Radical Jack (Billy Ray Cyrus), goes deep undercover to bring down an international arms dealer. In the process, he hopes to find the man responsible for killing his wife and child.
Radical Jack may have been released in 2000, but it feels like an 80s action movie. All the standard 80s clichés are there. I could just imagine someone like Van Damme or Stallone playing the lead. Instead, we have Billy Ray Cyrus. And to my utter amazement, Cyrus is not the biggest weakness in the movie. In fact, I'd say he's one of the few bright spots. As I've already alluded to, the biggest problem comes from a tired, cliché filled plot that brings absolutely nothing new to the action genre. A loner on a motorcycle arrives in a new town and takes a job tending bar. He immediately runs into trouble with the local gun runner's son when the son's girl takes an interest in the new guy. He's an ex-Navy Seal (at least I think he is) who manages to fight off a half-dozen thugs. He's eventually beat-down and goes into hiding. The girl nurses him back to health and the pair fall in love. Together, they bring down the baddies. Sound familiar?
Other low points include: poor fight choreography, a remixed Achy Breaky Heart, and (mostly) bad acting. Other highlights include: Dedee Pfieiffer and . . . well, that's about it. A 3/10 seems about right.
3/10
