So much fun!, 21 November 2017
12 year-old Cole (Judah Lewis) may be a nerdy little kid who's picked on at school, but he's got one thing the other kids don't - he's got a super-cool, super-hot babysitter, Bee (Samara Weaving). They have a blast together and she seems to enjoy his company as much as he does hers. So when Bee comes over to stay with Cole while his parents are out-of-town, nothing could be more perfect. Well, that is, until late at night when Cole is supposed to be asleep, he sees Bee stab some dude in the head with two daggers as part of a Satanic ritual. Needless to say, things get real bad for Cole real fast.
As I've said at least 1,624,857 times, I watch movies for entertainment. If a film entertains me, then that's all that really matters. And The Babysitter entertained me like few movies I've seen recently. It's a total blast from beginning to end. The mix of some very funny comedy bits with some nice gore shots and plenty of action checks all my entertainment boxes. The start of the movie reminded me of one of those 70s-era coming of age films where the kid falls for the older girl only to have his heartbroken. The Babysitter follows that pattern for about the first 30 minutes. But once Bee pulls out the daggers, all hell breaks loose and the films kicks into another gear. I know a lot of people complain that The Babysitter's not realistic etc. To those people I say just try to get over it and go with it. It's not meant to be a serious thriller. If you go into with that mindset, I see why you'd be disappointed. But go into with an open-mind and you might have as much fun as I did.
I was really blown away with both leads - Judah Lewis and Samara Weaving. For Lewis, I believe this is only his second acting credit. For someone so inexperienced, he really delivers. As for Weaving, I predict a big future for her. She's got the looks, ability, and a real screen presence that should do well for her in the future.
One last thing, even though he's only on-screen for a few minutes, I always enjoy seeing Ken Marino (playing "Dad" in this film). He's been a favorite of mine since his days of playing the sleazy Vinnie Van Lowe in Veronica Mars.
9/10
"There will be no mistake! These prisoners are to be exterminated!", 21 November 2017
Daleks' Invasion Earth 2150 A.D. is the second, and I believe last, of the standalone Dr Who films made in the 60s. I actually enjoyed this one more than the Dr Who and the Daleks. But that's not really saying much as I felt as if I might have overrated the first film a bit by giving it a whopping 4/10. My major complaint with both films is they are not part of the larger series. I know this will sound pretentious, but they're not canon. They ignore elements of the television series I find enjoyable and replace them with a bumbling, sometimes hapless, old Dr Who and his young relatives. I suppose that if I had never seen the Dr Who series, these films might be more enjoyable, but I have seen the series. At best, like its predecessor, Daleks' Invasion Earth 2150 A.D. is a harmless diversion (not a ringing endorsement).
In this one, Dr Who, his niece and granddaughter, and a poor policeman, who's in the wrong place at the wrong time, are transported to a future Earth ruled by the Daleks. Most of humanity has been enslaved and forced to work in the mines for the Daleks. Dr Who teams up with a band of resistance fighters who must find a way to stop the Daleks from destroying Earth.
One moment in this film that brought me a real unintended laugh comes near the end just as the Daleks are about the finally exterminate Dr Who. His escape consists of cleverly (note the sarcasm) saying, "Hey, look that way". The Daleks do and Dr Who escapes. Hilarious!
5/10
"Oh, no! The bad apes have the crystal lasers!", 20 November 2017
I'm going to keep this short – you can read all about Congo all over the internet. I just have a couple of comments – First, Congo's biggest problem is that the movie is all over the place with useless plot threads piled on top of useless plot threads. It tries to do too much. The movie lacks focus. With everything else going on in Congo, the big, bad gray apes have so little screen-time that it's astonishing. The movie was billed as being about killer apes, but they're on screen for a few seconds at the beginning (well, they're sort of on screen) and for about 15 minutes at the end. In between, there's so much nonsense going on that, in reality, has nothing to do with the apes. The whole bit about the assassination of the African leader and all the garbage that happens as a result is a complete waste of time. Congo really needed more ape madness.
Second, if you read most of the stuff on the internet about Congo, you will no doubt read negative comments about Tim Curry's performance. While I agree that it's over-the-top, it's one of the few things I found enjoyable. He's hysterical. Maybe I'm laughing for all the wrong reasons, but entertainment is entertainment. And really, what were you expecting from Tim Curry? He's an over-the-top ham in everything he ever did – not just Congo.
4/10
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Il nostro agente a Casablanca
- The Killer Lacks a Name
It does some things quite well, 19 November 2017
A dossier containing some sort of important information (I still have no idea what info everyone's looking for) is stolen in Casablanca. The good guys send in agent Brian Kervin (Lang Jeffries). He'll have to outwit, outsmart, and out-fight the usual sort of baddies, including one with a mechanical hand.
If you've seen Our Man in Casablanca (or whatever you want to call it), you may think I've overrated the film. And maybe I have. But in a crowded field of cheap Eurospy movies, this one has some things that make it stand out. First, the acting is a bit better than you'll usually find. Jeffries is more than capable and actually shows emotion - something you usually don't see. Baddie Paco Morán is as menacing as you're likely to run across. He's excellent. And Thea Fleming is absolutely outstanding. She would have been right at home in any Bond film. Second, the special effects here are better than usually found in a 60s Eurospy. I've already mentioned the mechanical hand. Sure, it can look silly, but no more so than some of the weaponry found in a Bond film. Third, though there are some slower moving parts of the film, Our Man in Casablanca does an excellent job with action. I was particularly impressed with the crop duster vs car sequence. Nicely shot and entertaining. Finally, the cinematography is often gorgeous. Morrocco never looked so good.
Obviously, it's not a great movie, but I enjoyed more than I disliked. I may be overstating it a bit, but I'm rating Our Man in Casablanca a 6/10.
6/10
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Le vicomte règle ses comptes
Pretty standard Eurospy stuff, 18 November 2017
Kerwin Mathews is Clint de la Roche, le Vicomte (what a name - I'll just refer to him as Clint from now on). Clint is an insurance investigator out to find the loot from a recent robbery. His investigation leads him to Paris where he finds himself caught between two rival gangs. He also finds himself entangled with a Parisian stripper who may or may not have information he needs. You know, your standard Eurospy plot.
The Viscount isn't the best Eurospy I've seen, but it's not a complete waste of time. Mathews is quite good and has a real screen presence. Other cast members that stood out to me include: Sylvia Sorrente (the stripper), Fernando Rey (gangleader) , and Jean Yanne (Cilnt's "assistant"). The film features plenty of reasonably entertaining fight scenes, chases, and gunplay - again, pretty standard Eurospy stuff. The robbery at the beginning of the film is especially nice. It's well planned and expertly carried out. It's a real highlight of the film. I was going to write about some confusing elements of the plot, but, instead, I've decided to blame the issues I have with the plot on my lack of foreign language skills. (The copy I watched had some scenes that were not dubbed - and the subtitles made things even worse.) The film's ending was something of a letdown. The final scenes are, unfortunately, set at night and it's about impossible to tell what's going on. Overall, a fairly average film that I can honestly rate no higher than a 5/10.
Oh, one last thing - I forgot to mention the incredibly entertaining 60s vibe found in The Viscount. The music, locations, costumes - it really pulls you into the time period. Very nice.
5/10
"If we don't take this medicine now, we'll all die. Slowly... but we'll die. Thank you.", 17 November 2017
During WWII, a brave, patriotic young man undergoes a series of painful experiments that turn him into a super-human. He takes the persona of red, white, and blue wearing Captain America and heads to Nazi Germany to do battle with a character known as Red Skull. Red Skull is a similarly enhanced man. Captain America loses the battle and ends up frozen in ice in the wilds of Alaska. Fifty or so year later, Caps body is found. After he's un-thawed and regains his senses, he discovers that his old foe, Red Skull, has taken a secret identity, but is still up to his old tricks. His latest plot involves kidnapping the President of the United States so he can implant a controlling device in his head. Cap will once again try to stop Red Skull.
While not a total disaster, the 1990 version of Captain America isn't what I'd call a "good" movie. My main problem is with the script. It's what I'd call lazy. There is no logic behind much of what happens on-screen. I'm going to limit this to two or three examples of what I'm talking about. Otherwise, this could go on forever. First, Cap is thawed in Alaska. As he's walking through Canada, a reporter from Washington, driving a pick-up truck, just happens to be in the right place at the right time and almost literally runs in to Cap. Yeah, sure. To stretch believablity even further, a gang of baddies from Italy, who are also searching for Captain America, miraculously discover his whereabouts at almost the exact same moment. What are the odds that these people would find a lone man on foot in the wilds of Canada at the same time? It's just stupid.
The second example of poor, lazy writing and a lack of logic involves the "crew" Red Skull sends to take out Captain America. You'd think that a real bad dude like Red Skull would have an army of henchmen at his disposal. But for some bizarre reason, he doesn't. Instead, he sends his 20-something daughter, her model friends, and their boyfriends to deal with his mortal enemy. I can't think of a less threatening looking group of supposed killers.
For my third example, I'll mention the aftermath of the Preident's kidnapping. Captain America and his little girlfriend are looking for the President, but they appear to be alone. Where in the world is the Secret Service? Where are the Italian police? Where is the military? If the Preident of the USA were to actually be kidnapped, almost everything in the entire world would come to a complete halt. Instead, things in Italy, where the President was kidnapped, seem to be going on as if nothing happened. Not very likely and, again, stupid.
Add these problems I have with this dog of script to some pretty bad acting, poor special effects, a mind-numbingly ineffectual Captain America, and lame fight choreography and you've got a bad movie on your hands. While I did enjoy bits and pieces of the film, the whole is so bad I cannot give Captian America a positive rating.
4/10
"I will tell the future in your entrails, Red Woman!", 16 November 2017
The plot of this movie is almost identical to the plot in any number of other sword and sorcerer movies that came out in the 80s. Other than the fact that the title character, Red Sonja (Brigitte Nielsen), is a woman, there's not much else in the way of originality. Red Sonja's sister is killed by an evil queen (Sandahi Bergman) intent on getting her hands on a powerful orb. Red Sonja vows revenge and goes after the queen. Along the way, she gathers a ragtag band to assist her, including Cona . . . er, I mean Kalidor (Arnold Schwarzenegger). They'll have lots of adventures and battles along the way – leading to a final showdown between Sonja and the queen.
Despite what a lot of people around the internet would lead you to believe, Red Sonja isn't horrible – well, not horrible when you compare it with a lot of the other Conan wannabes that came out in the early 80s. In fact, parts of the films are a lot of fun. There are some pretty decent fight scenes (the best being the sparring matches between Nielsen and Schwarzenegger), at least one interesting creature, and a couple of cool looking sets. I really enjoyed seeing Sandahi Bergman in the role of the queen. Here, she seems to be having a blast. Her final showdown with Nielsen is actually quite good and really gives the film a nice ending.
Of all the problems you could list when discussing Red Sonja, the most obvious is the poor acting. My understanding is that prior to taking the role of Red Sonja, Brigitte Nielsen was a magazine model with no acting experience. This was her first role. Schwarzenegger has never been known as a thespian. He's fun to watch, but he's always been limited. Finally, Ernie Reyes Jr wasn't really an actor either. Here, he's just annoying. It says a lot about the quality of the cast when I can say in all honesty that Sandahi Bergman is the best actor in the film.
Finally, one thing about Red Sonja I find hysterical is her repeated insistence that she needs no help - especially from a man. Yet at every tun, Cona . . . I mean Kalidor is there to save her butt. She'd have been dead half way through the film if it weren't for him.
5/10
