Buck Rogers in the 25th Century "The Plot to Kill a City" #1.4-5 (1979) (TV)

Yet another two-parter, 14 March 2008

"The Plot to Kill a City" is actually another two-part episode (how many does that make so far?). Buck goes undercover as a criminal named Raphael Argus to infiltrate a group known as the Legion of Death. Fortunately for Buck, none of the other members have actually met Raphael Argus – they only know him by reputation. Buck learns that the group plans to get revenge for one of their members who was killed by the Defense Directorate. Unfortunately, Buck's cover is blown and he'll have to save his own skin if he's to save New Chicago from destruction.

Overall, these aren't two of the better episodes of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century that I've watched so far (okay, I know I've only watched seven episodes, but these two would rank fifth and sixth out of seven). There are several problems, but the big one for me is the whole Legion of Death concept. The silly name, the even sillier hand signal, and following the orders of Frank Gorshin do not make for a very intimidating band of assassins. Gorshin is terrible in the part of the group's leader, Kellogg. Besides not looking the part, he continually does some weird thing with his hands that's terribly distracting. John Quade as Quince (what alliteration!) and Nancy DeCarl as Sherese fare no better. That's especially true of Quade who looks ridiculous in his sheep's wool get-up. In fact, other than a lot of boisterous talk, the group of would-be terrorists doesn't do much of anything. Buck should have been able to handle this group with his eyes closed. Without effective bad guys, you don't get a very effective episode (or episodes as the case may be).

Even with the problems, this is still Buck Rogers and there's still some fun to be had. From the always enjoyable cheese of the special effects to the outfits worn by Erin Grey (and in these episodes, Markie Post), there's enough here that qualifies as entertainment to keep "The Plot to Kill a City" from being a total disaster. So a 6/10 seems about right.

6/10

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century "Vegas in Space" #1.3 (1979) (TV)

Not much originality, 8 March 2008

I've just started going through the Buck Rogers in the 25th Century episodes for the first time since they originally aired. Up to now it's been an a blast. Episode 5, "Vegas in Space", is easily the worst I've watched so far. The problem – the plot lacks any originality. You could have seen (and probably did) a similar plot line on any one of a dozen 70s television programs. I can easily imagine such a plot (a girl who accidentally sees something she shouldn't have is kidnapped and "forced" to remember what she saw) on Charlie's Angels or Vegas or Wonder Woman or . . . well, just name it. The names of the supporting cast may not mean much to most people, but the faces of Richard Lynch, Pamela Susan Shoop, and James Luisi certainly would. These actors would have been right at home on any of these television shows. The guest star of "Vegas in Space" is Cesar Romero, but unfortunately his screen time is terribly limited. It's hard to do much or make much of an impression in less than 5 minutes.

Ah well, there's always the next episode.

5/10

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century "Planet of the Slave Girls" #1.2 (1979) (TV)

It doesn't matter what he's doing - Jack Palance is awesome!, 8 March 2008

When the Earth's tainted food supply knocks most of its pilots out of commission putting the planet's defenses at risk, Buck and Col Deering visit the planet the food comes from to investigate. What they find is a population enslaved by the charismatic and ruthless Kaleel (Jack Palance), a clueless Governor (Roddy McDowell), and an attack force ready to strike the Earth. Once again, it's up to Buck Rogers to save the day!

To begin with, "Planet of the Slave Girls" is something of a misleading title. But it's probably more effective from a marketing standpoint than the truth - "Planet Where Everyone is Enslaved, Not Just the Hot Women". Whatever the title, this is a very enjoyable two-part episode. There are a number of things that I could point to as highlights, but at the top of that list would be Jack Palance. His character, Kaleel, is not unlike a television evangelist inspiring the troops (or slaves in this case) to do his bidding. Instead of healing hands, however, Jack's got glowing red hands of death. He's awesome! Beyond Jack, the rest of the episode is enjoyable. The plot is interesting and the episode is entertaining throughout. If you've seen Buck Rogers before, you pretty much get what you expect – some cheesy but fun special effects, Twiki being annoying, Erin Grey in a variety of spandex, gaudiness everywhere you look, and Buck. There aren't a whole lot of surprises. "Planet of the Slave Girls" does feature a plot thread involving a Major Duke Denton who represents a rival to Buck for Col Deering. Denton is played by David Groh. He and Gil Gerard seem to have developed some immediate chemistry. The pair play off each other nicely. My biggest complaint with "Planet of the Slave Girls" is how underutilized Roddy McDowell is. He was given virtually nothing to do.

7/10

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979) (TV)

"Get out your card decks and backgammon boards, lucky Buck is back!", 7 March 2008

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century was the pilot movie that set-up the television series of the same name. I doubt there's anyone with even a passing interest in science fiction who doesn't know the basic plot: After having spent 500 years floating in space in a state of suspended animation, Buck Rogers is revived by aliens from Draconia. The Draconians are headed to Earth on a supposedly peaceful mission. Buck learns that things aren't as they appear and the Draconians have another, more sinister purpose for their visit. The Earthlings are quite naturally suspicious of Buck and his wild claims that the approaching Draconian envoy is really an attack force in disguise. Buck must adjust to his new surroundings, prove his loyalty to those left on Earth, and help defeat the Draconians.

If you're looking for a deep, meaningful storyline, big budget special effects, or award caliber acting, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century probably isn't for you. But if you just go with it and take it about as seriously as the people who made it seem to be taking it, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century can be a fun, entertaining experience. The movie is fast paced and full of interesting eye candy. The plot, though predictable, provides enough interest to hold your attention throughout. The acting is serviceable at the worst. Gil Gerrard and Erin Gray make for very likable and watchable leads. And anything with the great Henry Silva can't be all bad. One thing I get a kick out of watching Buck Rogers in the 25th Century some 30 years after it was made is the "look" of the film. (SARCASM WARNING) It's amazing how much the 25th Century feels like the late 70s with the spandex pants, lip gloss, and electronic disco music. (END SARCASM WARNING) I guess my only complaint is that some of the comedy is misplaced and fails to hit its mark. The robot Twiki can be especially annoying.

7/10

Jaguar Lives! (1979)

A great supporting cast, but a weak movie, 29 February 2008

To sum up the plot of Jaguar Lives! in a couple of sentences – Jaguar is a secret agent with a mission that takes him around the world to locate and bust-up up a large-scale heroin ring. If along the way he's able to find out who killed his former partner, so much the better. Joe Lewis (1979 World Karate Champion) is Jaguar. While his acting may be a bit stiff, his moves certainly aren't. The man knows how to throw a kick. He's joined by one of the most amazing casts for a nothing movie like this that I've ever seen – Christopher Lee, Donald Pleasence, Barbara Bach, Woody Strode, Joseph Wiserman, John Huston, and Capucine all lend their varied talents to the film. None has very much to do or much screen time, but Pleasence makes the most of his role as a South American dictator. Unfortunately, none of these actors is able to save Jaguar Lives! from mediocrity. The plot is pretty much a muddled mess, relying on set-pieces featuring fights to move the plot along. The big reveal of the head bad guy at the end of the movie shouldn't surprise anyone who's been paying the slightest bit of attention. And Lewis just doesn't have what it takes to hold the movie together.

So, while I'm impressed with the supporting cast and the money spent shooting in exotic locations around the world, Jaguar Lives! just isn't all that good. With all that being said, I'm a bit shocked to see that Joe Lewis didn't many more movies. Sure, his acting may have been lacking, but people with similar acting ability but with only half of Lewis' martial arts ability were churning out movies in the 80s.

4/10

Return of the Tiger (1979)

- Da juan tao
Not a bad way to spend 90 minutes, 23 February 2008

I'm not a huge fan of martial arts movies, but I'm trying. Sure, I enjoy Bruce Lee and some of the Sonny Chiba films I've seen, but beyond that, I've always thought of martial arts movies (and this is especially true of the movies from the 70s) as a bunch of faceless, nameless people repeating the same moves in endless fight scenes. And while there's some of that in Return of the Tiger, I've decided I may need to rethink my opinion. Overall, I enjoyed Return of the Tiger much more than I thought I would. It's far from perfect and the movie does drag a bit during some of the longer fight sequences, but for the most part, I was entertained throughout. Bruce Li and Angela Mao make an interesting and appealing pair. The bad guys are appropriately bad. Add in a few funny moments, awesome title music, and an ending with plenty of fists and feet and it's not a bad way to spend 90 minutes.

Unfortunately, the copy of the movie I had available to me seemed to be heavily cut. The plot (at least what I got out of it) centers on Chang Wong (Bruce Li), a man playing both sides of a feud between two criminal bosses. His plan seems to be to force both bosses' hands so he can make his final move. Along the way, he and his female assistant will have to do battle with an army of trained fighters. I'm confident that an uncut copy of Return of the Tiger would improve my opinion and rating.

Finally, what impressed me the most in Return of the Tiger was Bruce Li. I admit it – this is the first time I've seen one of his movies. I guess I unfairly thought of him as a Bruce Lee wannabe and dismissed him without giving him or his movies a chance. I realize now that the name and image were part of a producer's marketing ploy to cash in on the fame of Lee and not necessarily Li's doing. He's got a definite screen presence that I found appealing. I'll have to seek out some of his others movies.

6/10

Malibu High (1979)

Trashy and fun, 23 February 2008

She's lost her boyfriend, she's failing her classes at school, and she has no money. What's Kim Bentley to do? The answer is obvious – become a hooker. But sex for money is just the first step for this high school student. In no time at all, she's a contract killer.

Writing about Malibu High is difficult. On the one hand, the movie is incredibly trashy and has no real redeeming characteristics whatsoever. It's all so sleazy. A high school student turned prostitute turned killer – it's almost repulsive. However, on the other hand, Malibu High is a blast. Some of what I found enjoyable may have been unintentional, but the movie is just too much fun. A high school student turned prostitute turned killer – how awesome is that?

Malibu High is low-budget film-making at its best (or worst as the case may be). The production values are bottom of the barrel. Lighting, sound, sets, etc. are laughably bad. Much of the music is so inappropriate that it's often hysterical. My favorite had to be the theme from The People's Court playing during the film's climatic chase scene. The acting . . . what's the point? It's terrible too.

Finally, one thing in Malibu High that cracked me up repeatedly was the reaction that almost every male character had to Kim Bentley. The guys in this movie must not get out much if they consider her a hottie. There's a scene with Kim going into school in all of her slump-shouldered, figure-less glory. The cat calls had me in stitches.

7/10

Hart to Hart (1979) (TV)

"When they met... it was murder!", 19 February 2008

If you've read some of my other user comments, you'll quickly discover that Hart to Hart isn't the kind of thing I usually go for. But, surprisingly, the show works for me. A loving relationship, plenty of money, a wonderful house, nice cars, and a life filled with adventure and mystery – this is what has always drawn me to Hart to Hart.

At the heart of Hart to Hart is its two leads – Robert Wagner and Stefanie Powers as Johnathan and Jennifer Hart. Has there ever been a more perfect television couple? It's easy to see that they were longtime friends in real life before the show started. They seem so natural together. Both are also accomplished actors and are capable of making even the most ridiculous of situations believable. And Lionel Stander as the butler, chauffeur, handyman, cook, and general do everything guy, Max, is also a real asset. Like Wagner and Powers, he came to the series with a long resume. It's a solid cast.

Looking back at some of the episodes, they may seem incredibly corny to those more accustomed to modern TV. Two people just don't find themselves in these kinds of predicaments week after week. One week you're running from drug smugglers, the next week your house is completely emptied by thieves, and the next you're recovering a priceless antique for a Buddhist temple. I could live a lifetime and never have one episode worth of the adventure the Harts experienced. And, you know what? – it's this implausibility that really makes the show work for me. I enjoy it because it is unrealistic and fanciful. Life is tough enough without having reality rear its ugly head disguised as entertainment on television. I love to turn on something like Hart to Hart (or Charlie's Angels or Wonder Woman or Banacek or whatever show you can name form this period) and be entertained, and, even for a brief moment, forget about the real problems we all face. I don't find today's reality-based television dramas entertaining – they're depressing to me.

7/10

Angels' Brigade (1979)

"Women can make a difference!", 27 June 2007

When I write one of these things, I generally try to sound reasonably intelligent. I try to do more than write "It SUX" or "Best Movie I've Ever Seen". I honestly try to put a little more thought into it than that. But with Angel's Revenge (or Angels' Brigade – which I actually prefer), I'm at a loss. Angel's Revenge has to be one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. No deep insightful stuff here – just stupid! At every opportunity, the movie completely insulted my intelligence. Want an example? – The mere fact that this group of women in matching white jumpsuits could sneak into a heavily guarded compound with their feathered hair and jiggling breasts and successfully disarm the bad guys with their lame attempts at martial arts and blow-up the place would insult the intelligence of anyone with an IQ above that of pond scum.

With that being said, it's hard to admit that I actually enjoyed much of Angel's Revenge. Regardless of how bad it was, I was inexplicably entertained. There's just something about mindless 70s junk that I can't resists. I can't bring myself to rate it any lower than a 4/10.

Angel's Revenge is yet another MST3K viewing for me. I've always thought that MST3K did some of their best work with movies like this (include Mitchell and San Francisco International in that mix). The riffs are often laugh-out-loud funny. On my MST3K rating scale, I give this episode a 4/5 – an episode worth seeking out.

Finally, I've seen Angel's Revenge compared with Charlie's Angels in a number of reviews. While Charlie's Angels may have "inspired" the making of Angel's Revenge, the comparison should end there. Kate, Jaclyn, and Farrah come across as thespians when compared with this group of women!

4/10

Moonraker (1979)

"You appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.", 11 March 2007

Take a look at most of the lists of favorite Bond films found on the internet and you'll usually find Moonraker at or near the bottom. While I don't consider it the worst (I reserve that distinction for Die Another Day), it's not among my favorites either. Most people when writing about Moonraker tend to focus on the ill-advised, Star Wars inspired, laser shootout. As ridiculous as Bond in Space is, it's not my main point of contention with the movie. Instead, I have a real problem with the gag-fest that is Moonraker. It's one lame attempt at humor after another. While humor has always been a part of the series, here it's taken to the extreme.

There is no better example of the buffoonery found in Moonraker than the gondola chase scene. (Bear with me here, this is going to be rather lengthy.) It gets off to an okay start as Bond's gondola passes another one carrying a coffin. The coffin's lid opens and the man inside throws a knife at Bond. Of course he misses giving Bond the chance to throw the knife back at the would-be assassin. The now dead assassin falls into the coffin and the lid slams shut. Oh the irony! But we're just getting started. The coffin falls off the boat and floats under a bridge just as a man hacking up his lungs crosses the same bridge. He sees the coffin and immediately gives up smoking. At this point my sides are splitting with laughter! In the meantime, Bond flips a switch revealing that this is no ordinary gondola, but a supped-up MI6 variety of gondola. Out of seemingly thin air, boat loads of baddies appear and begin chasing Bond. During the chase, Bond barely misses a gondola carrying a couple in the middle of a passionate make-out session. They are apparently so into their lovemaking that they are oblivious to the baddie's boat that "hysterically" slices their gondola in half. As their half of the gondola sails off (apparently still sea worthy), they remain in their oblivious embrace. The gondolier in the other half isn't so lucky. As his half begins to sink, he continues to use his pole in a vain attempt to stay afloat and gives the camera his best look of comic exasperation. Stop it! I've got tears in my eyes! Just when you think things can't get any worse, Bond approaches land and pushes another button turning his gondola into a hovercraft. It's at this point the real "fun" begins. As Bond drives his hover-gondola through a major Venetian square, we are treated to several "hysterical" reaction shots. A man drinking wine swears off alcohol. A painter loses his painting and isn't aware it's gone. Even the animals get in on the act as a pigeon gives Bond a double-take. Yes, that's right – a pigeon does a double-take! The utter ridiculousness of this brief moment encapsulates everything that's wrong with Moonraker. Cubby and Company changed Bond from a tough, womanizing spy with a penchant for the occasional quip into a clown with an infinite supply of gags and one-liners. Ian Fleming must have been spinning in his grave.

It's really too bad because there are some nice moments and things to enjoy sprinkled throughout Moonraker. If you can excuse Lois Chiles and her impersonation of a piece of wood, the acting is okay for this kind of movie. I've read any number of bad things about Michael Lonsdale as Hugo Drax, but I think he's one of the bright spots. I appreciate his cerebral, understated approach to playing the Bond heavy. Some of the action set-pieces in the first half are quite enjoyable. I particularly like the sword fight in the glass museum even if it does end with on of Bond's more groan-inducing quips. And even the final laser showdown in space is well-filmed and enjoyable regardless of how absurd it might be.

In the end, even though there are some things I like about Moonraker, the comedic core of the movie really hurts it in my eyes. The best I can do is rate it a 4/10.

4/10

Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women (1979) (TV)

Predictable deserted island story with a number of television movie-of-the-week types and Hollywood has-beens, 27 May 2006

Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women is an utterly predictable deserted island story with a number of television movie-of-the-week types and Hollywood has-beens. The plot: A group of young Catholic school girls are evacuated during the Indo-China War. Their plane crashes on an island and the girls are left to fend for themselves. Fifteen or so years later, a plane carrying a group of men is forced to land on the island. At first the girls, now women, are leery of the men. But the women soon realize that the men and their guns may be able to help them defeat the headhunters who regularly visit the island.

Everything about this television movie is telegraphed from a mile away. The women's reaction to the men – predictable. The men's reaction to the wild women – predictable. The fact that the women's leader, Lizabeth, is a nut-case – predictable. The fact that the women's spiritual leader, Sister Teresa, is actually dead – predictable. The narrow escape at the end from the headhunters – predictable. There's not one surprising moment in the entire 90+ minute runtime. I was able to make coffee, do a load of laundry, and play with my son as I watched the movie and I didn't miss a thing.

The ending of the film is a real letdown. Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women builds toward a promised showdown between the stranded men and the "beautiful women" with the headhunters, but it never materializes. Instead, everyone hops on the plane and takes off. What a cop-out!

3/10

Guyana: Crime of the Century (1979)

Cardona Does Jonestown, 1 March 2006

If you take a look at Rene Cardona Jr.'s credits, you'll quickly discover that he jumped on every bandwagon that passed by. Tintoera is his Jaws "inspired" film. Cyclone is his cash-in on the disaster movie boom. The Bermuda Triangle is his link to the unexplained mysteries craze of the 70s. And I'm sure you can find similarities between Cardona's The Treasure of the Amazon and either a Hollywood movie like Romancing the Stone or a watered-down Italian cannibal film. With Guyana: Crime of the Century, Cardona wasn't trying to rip a movie, but instead choice to latch onto the coattails of one of the biggest news stories of the 70s – Jim Jones and the People's Temple.

Compared with Cardona's other films I've seen, Guyana: Crime of the Century comes off as a much more serious work. Cardona appears to be going for fewer of the exploitation elements he loaded his other films with and, instead, is going for something more true to life and realistic. Don't misunderstand, there are scenes of exploitation in Guyana: Crime of the Century, they are just not played to the max the way they are in something like Tintoera. Being based at least somewhat on an actual event, Cardona was handcuffed by the reality of what actually took place in the jungles of Guyana. As a result, this movie is not as "fun" as Cardona's other films. Much of the first 2/3 of the film is very slow with little more to enjoy than the wild, crazed dialogues of the good reverend. The last 1/3 does pick up the pace, culminating with a satisfactory finale that is very well done by Cardona's standards. It's a moving and fitting end to the film.

In addition to comparing Guyana: Crime of the Century with his other works, I can't help but compare Cardona's movie with the 1980 TV movie Guyana Tragedy: The Story of Jim Jones. I haven't seen the TV movie in a decade or more, but I remember it being a better made film that probably sticks to the truth of what happened at Jonestown better than Cardona's movie. Also, the 1980 film stars Powers Boothe as Jim Jones. His portrayal of the crazed leader of the doomed cult is light-years ahead of Stuart Whitman's turn in the role. Boothe delivers an incredibly powerful (pun not intended) and believable performance.

Speaking of Stuart Whitman, Guyana: Crime of the Century is filled with over-the-hill, past-their-prime actors in most of the major roles. Whitman was the youngest at 53. Yvonne De Carlo was 57. Gene Barry was 60. John Ireland was 65. And Joseph Cotton was the oldest at 74. For Cotton, Guyana: Crime of the Century is about as far away from Citizen Kane as you can get.

5/10

Zombi 2 (1979)

Much better the second time around, 24 February 2006

I saw Fulci's Zombi 2 a number of years ago and didn't really care for it. I suppose that at the time I didn't quite understand Italian horror and its excesses. Having re-watched it last night at the insistence of an internet friend, I've done a 180 and completely changed my opinion. While I don't think it's one of the greatest horror movies ever made or even the best thing Fulci did, Zombi 2 accomplishes what it's intended to do – create a sense of real horror in the viewer. Zombi 2 has some of the most undeniable atmosphere I've seen. The atmosphere hangs on everything like the humidity of the movie's setting. There is a real sense of dread running throughout the movie that only grows with each passing frame. It's the kind of movie that you can feel deep down in your gut, twisting your insides with unrelenting horror. This is what a good horror movie is supposed to do – keep you on the edge of your seat, drawing you into the film, and making you want to look away at the same time. Very nicely done, Mr. Fulci!

So what affected me this time that didn't the first time I watched Zombi 2? I could give several answers, but I'll limit this to two key areas where this movie really excels. First, the special effects, as low-budget as they are, work almost flawlessly. I've always thought that for the make-up in something like Zombi 2, cheap effects generally work better than state-of-the-art CGI type effects. There's just something about seeing actual, real, physical hunks of flesh being ripped off of a victim or a zombie decomposing in front of your eyes. It has weight and substance – something lacking in modern day over-bloated special effects.

The second area where Zombi 2 really works is the score. Every note and every sound fits perfectly with the on-screen action. The music enhances the film's mood to perfection. Feelings of horror and terror on the part of the viewer are enhanced by the score. It's easily one of the most effective I've seen recently.

8/10

The Big Alligator River (1979)

- Il fiume del grande caimano
I had fun with it regardless of how bad it really is, 5 October 2005

A photographer and model are flown to a new resort hotel in the middle of the jungle to shoot some publicity photos. The hotel is owned by a ruthless developer who appears to have little regard for the environment or the people surrounding his paradise. He has hired many members of a local tribe to work for him in his hotel. But what the developer hasn't counted on is that the land Paradise House sits on is sacred to the tribe. It's the home of their giant alligator god, Kroona. After the model goes missing, the photographer finds it difficult to convince anyone that something is wrong. Has the model become another sacrifice to Kroona?

The Big Alligator River is a mish-mash of ideas from a lot of other movies. The most obvious influence comes from Jaws. Martino admits on the DVD that Jaws was the inspiration behind this movie. The scenes of kicking legs in the water being stalked by a POV shot or of a large unseen creature attacking a boat or of the alligator's inevitable demise are almost direct rip-offs of Jaws. Among the other influences I noticed was King Kong. A woman being tied sacrificially to a wooden raft is very reminiscent of Fay Wray's plight.

As for the alligator, it hardly comes across as realistic. Instead, it looks almost like a stiff rubber child's toy. Victims must remain virtually immobile if the alligator is to get his mouth around their bodies. In recent reviews I've read of Jaws, I've noticed more and more complaints about how "fake" the shark looks. I would advise anyone who feels this way to steer clear of Kroona from The Big Alligator River.

Beyond the bad special effects, The Big Alligator River features a less than stellar storyline (it drags in many places), generally poor acting (there are exceptions of course), and just plain silly dialogue. But given these weaknesses I can't bring myself to rate this movie any lower. I had too much fun with it and will eventually watch it again. Despite the flaws, I found it to be good cheesy fun. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it's mine.

On the positive side, The Big Alligator River has one of the best, most enjoyable set-pieces I've seen in a while. The scene where many of the hotel guests are trapped in the water between the alligator on one side and a group of natives throwing flaming spears at anyone attempting to escape on the other side is remarkably effective. Pick your poison – being chomped by an alligator or being shish-kabobed by the natives. It's the definite highlight of the movie for me.

5/10

The Brood (1979)

Time has not been kind to this movie, 24 August 2005

There was a time when I thought that The Brood was one of the more intelligent horror movies I had seen. I recently re-watched the movie for the first time in a couple of decades and I now have trouble seeing it in the same light. I'm no expert in psychology, but all the psycho-mumbo-jumbo sounds like a big bunch of hooey. Pyshcoplasmics? Please! The word is thrown around as if everyone knows what it's all about - never mind that it's all made up. And the whole concept that emotions can create something powerful enough to kill just doesn't cut it for me in The Brood. Again, I say Please! It's all an excuse to build to the one disturbing scene in the third act. (I'll admit that this scene does present an image that is all but impossible to erase from your memory.)

The acting in The Brood doesn't do much for me either. I hate to pick on a little girl, but the one in this movie is awful. Oliver Reed gives one of his worst performances that I've seen. Part of the problem with Reed in The Brood is that he is terribly miscast. I never once bought his psychiatrist routine. And don't get me started on Samantha Eggar. She's totally unbelievable as far as I'm concerned.

The supposed scares are anything but. While there are some decent jump scares the first time we meet the midget killers, it soon becomes apparent that this is the only way to make them seem frightening at all. On their own, the little people simply are not threatening. Notice how many of these things it takes to effectively take down a full-grown man without the advantage of surprise. I got the impression that had Reed or another actor moved too quickly or forcefully, the tiny terrors would have been sent flying.

So why haven't I rated The Brood any lower? While there are a few moments throughout that held my interest, the one extremely disturbing I eluded to earlier is so well done and so effective that it's worth a point or two on its own.

4/10

A Force of One (1979)

"Whoever did this... they're as good as dead.", 6 August 2005

Back when A Force of One was originally released, I viewed Chuck Norris' movies as boring, brainless, and cheap. In the years since, I've changed that original assessment and can see them for what they really are. Now I look at these early Chuck Norris' movies as fun, brainless, and cheap.

The plot is incredibly simple and shows a total lack of creativity. When two cops are killed by someone using Martial Arts, they seek out the one man who might be able to help them – the local karate champion, Matt Logan (Norris). The cops quickly persuade Matt to help them, but when Matt's son turns up dead, he goes from helping to an active participant.

Instead of writing a regular review or pointing out strengths and weaknesses in the movie, I'll just list a few random thoughts I had while watching:

1. It's not that the cops are skeptical about how karate can help them, a few act like they can't even pronounce the word.
2. The needle marks in that girl's arm makes it look like she been using a turkey-baster to shoot-up with.
3. You would think that after one set of cops is killed that the superior officer would do a better job of keeping track of where and what his men are working on.
4. Wow, a ninja in the stockroom! You just don't see enough of stuff like that in real life.
5. If you couldn't guess that Matt's son was going to get into serious trouble when he started his own investigating, you haven't seen enough bad action movies.
6. The identities of the bad guys are so obvious it's embarrassing.

7. Why is the police captain wearing a Matt Logan t-shirt under his bath robe?

It may be bad, but there are still several enjoyable moments. One of my favorites is the most obvious – watching Chuck Norris square off against Bill 'Superfoot" Wallace. Two legends of the Martial Arts in a fight to the death – good stuff. It almost makes the whole movie worthwhile.

4/10

The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher (1979)

Simply Awful, 28 April 2005

Such as it is, I'll try to give a brief outline of the movie. During a photo session, the photographer strangles his model. Meanwhile, a bookstore owner stalks and knives a wino. Later, the same photographer strangles another model. The bookstore owner stalks and knives another wino. This continues until the two meet. Without a word, they seem to fall in love. But what kind of relationship can two serial killers have? Apparently, not much of one.

The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher is the perfect example of inept film-making. If you're idea of a good time is watching people you don't know kill other people you don't know, this may be the movie for you. This basic premise is repeated over and over and over. Eventually, I just wanted to throw something at the screen. How about a little explanation as to who these people are and why they are doing what they do? Unfortunately, concepts like a plot don't get in the way of the killing.

Steckler filmed this movie without any dialogue. He later added some voice overs at the insistence of his distributor. Dialogue may have helped, although I doubt it.

If you really must see this movie, watch it with Joe Bob Briggs commentary. There are a few laugh out loud moments. Otherwise, I found it impossible to get through even the first 10 minutes.

1/10