The lone highlight for me was seeing Buster Crabbe and Charles Middleton together on screen. I'm not much a fan of the old Flash Gordon serial, but I realize it's historical significance. Seeing Flash and Ming together here was pretty cool.
2/10
Saturday, July 8, 2017
Jungle Man (1941)
A stock footage bonanza, 8 July 2017
If you're a fan of random stock footage of animals from the early 20th Century, this is the movie for you. At least half of the film is taken up with clips of animals that are so poorly shot, it's often difficult to see what you're looking at. Animals that in nature are continents apart are presented as if they live in the same African jungle. I swear that some of the animals even appear to be in zoos or other unnatural settings. Piece these clips together, throw in a nonsensical story about the search for a lost city by some bored rich dudes, and add an even more nonsensical plot line where Buster Crabbe is searching for a cure to a deadly disease by slaving over a Bunsen burner in the jungle - you've got Jungle Man. By the time our heroes come down with the illness, I had long ceased to care about any of it. I was rooting for their deaths as it might mean the movie would end faster. It's all a total bore. The one hour run-time feels more like an eternity. If you can't tell, I didn't care much for Jungle Man.
The lone highlight for me was seeing Buster Crabbe and Charles Middleton together on screen. I'm not much a fan of the old Flash Gordon serial, but I realize it's historical significance. Seeing Flash and Ming together here was pretty cool.
2/10
The lone highlight for me was seeing Buster Crabbe and Charles Middleton together on screen. I'm not much a fan of the old Flash Gordon serial, but I realize it's historical significance. Seeing Flash and Ming together here was pretty cool.
2/10
Black Water Gold (1970) (TV)
Dillman steals the show, 8 July 2017
Out doing a little illegal sample gathering, scuba diver Ray Sandage (Aron Kincaid) witnesses two men murdered in the water just above. Returning to shore, he's delighted and shocked to find a gold coin among the items he collected. Sandage recruits some help to discover the resting place of a Spanish galleon. Sandage's group is in a race to find the treasure with a team that has already proved it will commit murder.
While the lure of Black Water Gold might be the promise of a treasure hunt. the thing that I found the most entertaining was Bradford Dillman. Dillman was a fairly competent, but ultimately bland, actor who showed-up in just about every TV program or made- for-TV movie produced in the 70s. He's just always there, but not often the standout. His character, Lyle Fawcett, adds a lot to Black Water Gold. He's a spoiled, rich Mama's boy who is accustomed to getting what he wants. And if he wants the treasure, he'll kill to get it. I loved the scene where he speaks with his mother on the phone. It says volumes about the character. Really good stuff. Beyond Dillman, Black Water Gold benefits from snappy direction, nice underwater intrigue, and a surprisingly strong cast, including the great Ricardo Montalban, France Nuyen, and the stunningly beautiful Lana Wood. It's not the kind of movie that will knock your socks off, but it is an decent way to spend just over an hour.
5/10
While the lure of Black Water Gold might be the promise of a treasure hunt. the thing that I found the most entertaining was Bradford Dillman. Dillman was a fairly competent, but ultimately bland, actor who showed-up in just about every TV program or made- for-TV movie produced in the 70s. He's just always there, but not often the standout. His character, Lyle Fawcett, adds a lot to Black Water Gold. He's a spoiled, rich Mama's boy who is accustomed to getting what he wants. And if he wants the treasure, he'll kill to get it. I loved the scene where he speaks with his mother on the phone. It says volumes about the character. Really good stuff. Beyond Dillman, Black Water Gold benefits from snappy direction, nice underwater intrigue, and a surprisingly strong cast, including the great Ricardo Montalban, France Nuyen, and the stunningly beautiful Lana Wood. It's not the kind of movie that will knock your socks off, but it is an decent way to spend just over an hour.
5/10
Friday, July 7, 2017
The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
"Mr. Bond, bullets do not kill. It is the finger that pulls the trigger.", 7 July 2017
James Bond is called in to help find a solar device that, in the wrong hands, could potentially turn the sun's rays into a lethal weapon. To do so, Bond must deal with a highly paid assassin named Scaramanga. When one of Scaramanga's gold bullets shows up an MI6 headquarters with Bond's name engraved on it, Bond is convinced he's Scaramanga's next target. But what if he can find Scaramanga first? It's off to Macao, Hong Kong, and Thailand to find a potentially dangerous device and an assassin.
As much as I love the James Bond franchise, I admit that all Bond films are not created equal. The Man with the Golden Gun is what I call a lesser Bond film. It has its share of strong points that I really enjoy, but there's too much that doesn't work for me to list it among the best. Instead of the normal comments I write, here a laundry list of what does and what doesn't work for me:
What works for me:
- Christopher Lee – In a better Bond film, he would most certainly be remembered as one of the best super-villains that Bond faced. He's got the presence, size, and acting ability to pull it off. Instead, he's forced to play a guy in track suit with three nips who kills people in a carnival funhouse.
- Nick Nack – Despite his stature, Nick Nack makes for an excellent baddie. He seems to delight in causing harm to others.
- Maude Adams – I can't think of an actress who played a Bond-girl who did a better job of acting. You can see the fear, hatred, and resentment in her eyes when she's with Scaramanga. It's an outstanding performance. She's easily the standout in the film for me.
- It's fun – At the end of the day, this is still a James Bond film. Despite all the issues I have with it, The Man with the Golden Gun is still a fun movie that provides some degree of entertainment. It's not perfect, but I still enjoy it.
What doesn't work for me:
- Sheriff Pepper – Why in God's name did they bring him back? Once was bad enough.
- The comedy – There's way too much comedy (or attempted comedy). Bond's quips are cringy, the school girls defeating the trained karate dudes is stupid, and Britt Ekland's bumbling Goodnight is annoying. (By the way, I really hate that this was the role Britt Ekland was given in the James Bond series. I would have loved to see her given a more traditional Bond girl role.)
- Ruining a great stunt – The car jump in The Man with the Golden Gun is legendary. Why did they decide to use a slide whistle sound effect as the car jumps the river? Why let a cheap sound effect ruin an uber-cool moment?
- The plot and flow – I'm going to have trouble explaining this, but here goes – More so than in any other Bond film I can think of right now, the solar device is a true McGuffin. Watching the film again last night, I had to ask myself on several occasions, "what's the point of all this?" The main plot line is never really clear. And, the film changes pace about a dozen times. One minute it's a karate movie, while the next it's a madcap chase film. It's jarring.
If I had a list of favorite Bond movies (and I'm not sure why I don't'), I'm guessing The Man with the Golden Gun would place in the bottom five or so films. I still rate the movie an above average 6/10, but by Bond standards, that's pretty poor.
6/10
As much as I love the James Bond franchise, I admit that all Bond films are not created equal. The Man with the Golden Gun is what I call a lesser Bond film. It has its share of strong points that I really enjoy, but there's too much that doesn't work for me to list it among the best. Instead of the normal comments I write, here a laundry list of what does and what doesn't work for me:
What works for me:
- Christopher Lee – In a better Bond film, he would most certainly be remembered as one of the best super-villains that Bond faced. He's got the presence, size, and acting ability to pull it off. Instead, he's forced to play a guy in track suit with three nips who kills people in a carnival funhouse.
- Nick Nack – Despite his stature, Nick Nack makes for an excellent baddie. He seems to delight in causing harm to others.
- Maude Adams – I can't think of an actress who played a Bond-girl who did a better job of acting. You can see the fear, hatred, and resentment in her eyes when she's with Scaramanga. It's an outstanding performance. She's easily the standout in the film for me.
- It's fun – At the end of the day, this is still a James Bond film. Despite all the issues I have with it, The Man with the Golden Gun is still a fun movie that provides some degree of entertainment. It's not perfect, but I still enjoy it.
What doesn't work for me:
- Sheriff Pepper – Why in God's name did they bring him back? Once was bad enough.
- The comedy – There's way too much comedy (or attempted comedy). Bond's quips are cringy, the school girls defeating the trained karate dudes is stupid, and Britt Ekland's bumbling Goodnight is annoying. (By the way, I really hate that this was the role Britt Ekland was given in the James Bond series. I would have loved to see her given a more traditional Bond girl role.)
- Ruining a great stunt – The car jump in The Man with the Golden Gun is legendary. Why did they decide to use a slide whistle sound effect as the car jumps the river? Why let a cheap sound effect ruin an uber-cool moment?
- The plot and flow – I'm going to have trouble explaining this, but here goes – More so than in any other Bond film I can think of right now, the solar device is a true McGuffin. Watching the film again last night, I had to ask myself on several occasions, "what's the point of all this?" The main plot line is never really clear. And, the film changes pace about a dozen times. One minute it's a karate movie, while the next it's a madcap chase film. It's jarring.
If I had a list of favorite Bond movies (and I'm not sure why I don't'), I'm guessing The Man with the Golden Gun would place in the bottom five or so films. I still rate the movie an above average 6/10, but by Bond standards, that's pretty poor.
6/10
Thursday, July 6, 2017
The Rat Patrol "The Life Against Death Raid" #1.2 (1966)
Hey, that's Lou Grant!, 6 July 2017
Pvt Hitchcock is injured in one of the Rat Patrol's raids. His wounds are such that he won't make it to the nearest medical facility. Instead, the decision is made to take him to a German field hospital just a few miles away. It's risky, but it's the only chance they have to save Hitchcock's life.
Again, I'm not going to get into the historical accuracy of The Rat Patrol. I really can't be bothered. What I can be bothered with, however, are tires squealing on sand. I'm not sure what the sound guys were thinking.
Overall, there might not be as much action in The Life Against Death Raid as there was in the first episode, but there is more drama. For a while, I really wasn't sure which way the German doctor would go – would he help the wounded American or call for help? The addition of the disturbed German officer who sees Americans everywhere was a nice touch. The character really upped the tension.
The supporting cast in The Life Against Death Raid is interesting. Ed Asner plays the German doctor. It's not a huge role, but he's quit good and, as I indicated, really adds to the episode's drama and tension. The cast also features Christa Linder. While certainly not as well known as Asner, she appeared in enough genre films that I easily recognized her.
6/10
Again, I'm not going to get into the historical accuracy of The Rat Patrol. I really can't be bothered. What I can be bothered with, however, are tires squealing on sand. I'm not sure what the sound guys were thinking.
Overall, there might not be as much action in The Life Against Death Raid as there was in the first episode, but there is more drama. For a while, I really wasn't sure which way the German doctor would go – would he help the wounded American or call for help? The addition of the disturbed German officer who sees Americans everywhere was a nice touch. The character really upped the tension.
The supporting cast in The Life Against Death Raid is interesting. Ed Asner plays the German doctor. It's not a huge role, but he's quit good and, as I indicated, really adds to the episode's drama and tension. The cast also features Christa Linder. While certainly not as well known as Asner, she appeared in enough genre films that I easily recognized her.
6/10
Behind Locked Doors (1948)
"How many times have I told you not to abuse the patients?", 6 July 2017
A judge who has run afoul of the law has gone into hiding. Reporter Kathy Lawrence (Lucille Bremer) believes she has tracked the judge to a private sanitarium. She hires a private detective, Ross Stewart (Richard Carlson), to go undercover as a patient to help find the judge. Stewart quickly falls out of favor with one of the sanitarium attendants and puts himself in danger. Can they bust open the case before Stewart's cover is blown?
There's an amazing amount of entertainment stuffed into Behind Locked Doors' less than 62 minute runtime. Being brief, there's no time for filler. This is one quick, fast paced film. Even so, director Budd Boetticher was still able to give the film atmosphere – and I love atmosphere. The sanitarium setting, with the locked rooms upstairs housing the dangerous patients, provides the right amount of mystery. The cast is good – especially for a B-noir. Richard Carlson has always seemed like a very capable actor and does good work here. I wasn't at all familiar with Lucille Bremer, but she gives her reporter just the right amount of spunk. As good as they are, though, it's Douglas Fowley that really makes this film tick. He is the perfect, brutal advisory for our heroes. Finally, I got a little joy when I realized that Tor Johnson had a brief, but pivotal, role in Behind Locked Doors. He's as convincing as anyone in the film playing the dangerous, mute psycho. It's nice to see Tor is a "good" movie for a change. I'm sure I could pick apart the movie and write about plot holes and logic inconsistencies, but Behind Locked Doors is so entertaining that I had no problem looking past these issues.
7/10
A judge who has run afoul of the law has gone into hiding. Reporter Kathy Lawrence (Lucille Bremer) believes she has tracked the judge to a private sanitarium. She hires a private detective, Ross Stewart (Richard Carlson), to go undercover as a patient to help find the judge. Stewart quickly falls out of favor with one of the sanitarium attendants and puts himself in danger. Can they bust open the case before Stewart's cover is blown?There's an amazing amount of entertainment stuffed into Behind Locked Doors' less than 62 minute runtime. Being brief, there's no time for filler. This is one quick, fast paced film. Even so, director Budd Boetticher was still able to give the film atmosphere – and I love atmosphere. The sanitarium setting, with the locked rooms upstairs housing the dangerous patients, provides the right amount of mystery. The cast is good – especially for a B-noir. Richard Carlson has always seemed like a very capable actor and does good work here. I wasn't at all familiar with Lucille Bremer, but she gives her reporter just the right amount of spunk. As good as they are, though, it's Douglas Fowley that really makes this film tick. He is the perfect, brutal advisory for our heroes. Finally, I got a little joy when I realized that Tor Johnson had a brief, but pivotal, role in Behind Locked Doors. He's as convincing as anyone in the film playing the dangerous, mute psycho. It's nice to see Tor is a "good" movie for a change. I'm sure I could pick apart the movie and write about plot holes and logic inconsistencies, but Behind Locked Doors is so entertaining that I had no problem looking past these issues.
7/10
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
The Honeymoon Machine (1961)
Steve McQueen does comedy, 5 July 2017
Basic plot: A couple navy guys figure out a way to use the government's newest super-computer to predict numbers on a roulette wheel at a Venice casino. To do so, they must send signals to and from the computer on a ship in the harbor. The signals are intercepted by an Admiral who misinterprets their meaning. He believes the city of Venice is at risk of falling into enemy hands. Hilarity ensues.
I haven't agreed with a lot of ratings on IMDb recently, but usually, I'm rating films lower than the IMDb average. It's the opposite here. I seem to have enjoyed The Honeymoon Machine (what an unfortunate title) more than most. For me, the comedy worked almost flawlessly. I found myself entertained throughout and actually laughing out loud on several occasions. Comedy is highly subjective, so I realize that what works for me may not work for someone else and vice versa. The comedy here works for me because I found the writing witty and smart and the direction snappy. The movie has a good flow and never for a moment gets dull. It's a fun little movie.
But the real highlight is the acting. If I'm not mistaken, this was Steve McQueen's only comedy. I wish he had done more. He shows outstanding comedic timing. He's joined by a very capable cast that included Jim Hutton, Paula Prentiss, and Brigid Bazlen. I can't say I was familiar with Bazlen, but she really impressed. I'm shocked to see that her filmography is so short. The cast also includes memorable performances from Jack Weston and Dean Jagger. As usual, Weston steals every scene in which he appears. His drunk act may be un-PC today, bit I found it hysterical. As for Jagger, is there anyone who could play an Admiral or a General with the kind of command he exhibited? Really nice performances all away around.
8/10
Basic plot: A couple navy guys figure out a way to use the government's newest super-computer to predict numbers on a roulette wheel at a Venice casino. To do so, they must send signals to and from the computer on a ship in the harbor. The signals are intercepted by an Admiral who misinterprets their meaning. He believes the city of Venice is at risk of falling into enemy hands. Hilarity ensues.I haven't agreed with a lot of ratings on IMDb recently, but usually, I'm rating films lower than the IMDb average. It's the opposite here. I seem to have enjoyed The Honeymoon Machine (what an unfortunate title) more than most. For me, the comedy worked almost flawlessly. I found myself entertained throughout and actually laughing out loud on several occasions. Comedy is highly subjective, so I realize that what works for me may not work for someone else and vice versa. The comedy here works for me because I found the writing witty and smart and the direction snappy. The movie has a good flow and never for a moment gets dull. It's a fun little movie.
But the real highlight is the acting. If I'm not mistaken, this was Steve McQueen's only comedy. I wish he had done more. He shows outstanding comedic timing. He's joined by a very capable cast that included Jim Hutton, Paula Prentiss, and Brigid Bazlen. I can't say I was familiar with Bazlen, but she really impressed. I'm shocked to see that her filmography is so short. The cast also includes memorable performances from Jack Weston and Dean Jagger. As usual, Weston steals every scene in which he appears. His drunk act may be un-PC today, bit I found it hysterical. As for Jagger, is there anyone who could play an Admiral or a General with the kind of command he exhibited? Really nice performances all away around.
8/10
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
The Rat Patrol "The Chase of Fire Raid" #1.1 (1966)
Meeting the team, 4 July 2017
First of all, I am not a stickler when it comes to historical accuracy. First, I watch for enjoyment purposes and as long as the inaccuracies don't interfere with my viewing pleasure, I don't care about them. If someone is shown driving the wrong vehicle or wearing the wrong hat, it most likely won't bother me. Second, while I'm no idiot when it comes to the basics of WWII, I haven't studied it as much as some people I've seen comment on Rat Patrol. I most likely won't notice the odd incorrect rifle (or care for the matter).
Anyway, on to the mission: The Rat Patrol is assigned the task of blowing up an old Allied fuel dump before the Nazis can find it. Complicating the mission is a new British Sergeant assigned to the team.
I'd call The Chase of Fire Raid good, but not great. It does what it sets out to do - it introduces us to the main characters (both Allied and Axis) and gives us a taste of the action to come. Character introduction is pretty standard for a first episode, but it leads to the even more predictable clash between characters. Here, however, with less than 30 minutes, things get resolved unusually quick and the guys move on. The drama in the final scene surrounding the destruction of the fuel dump is handled and filmed expertly. Overall, a solid start to the series.
6/10
Anyway, on to the mission: The Rat Patrol is assigned the task of blowing up an old Allied fuel dump before the Nazis can find it. Complicating the mission is a new British Sergeant assigned to the team.
I'd call The Chase of Fire Raid good, but not great. It does what it sets out to do - it introduces us to the main characters (both Allied and Axis) and gives us a taste of the action to come. Character introduction is pretty standard for a first episode, but it leads to the even more predictable clash between characters. Here, however, with less than 30 minutes, things get resolved unusually quick and the guys move on. The drama in the final scene surrounding the destruction of the fuel dump is handled and filmed expertly. Overall, a solid start to the series.
6/10
008: Operation Exterminate (1965)
About average for the genre, 4 July 2017
Hoping to recover a valuable and dangerous anti-radar device, the British government sends in Frank Smith, Agent 606 (Alberto Lupo). He is to meet up with an American known to him as MacDonald, Agent 008 (Ingrid Schoeller). (I just love the agent numbering in these movies.) As you'd expect in a film like this, Smith is shocked to discover that MacDonald is (gasp) a woman. The pair end up in a lot of car chases, fist fights, and gun battles in the streets, hotels, and nightclubs of Cairo - you know, the normal things secret agents do. They also end up playing the role of lovers (who didn't see that coming). There are, as you'd expect, other parties interested in the device - especially the Russians. Who will get there first?
Another of those movies that I'm going to describe as not great, but not horrible. 008: Operation Exterminate is about average. I admit that being directed by Umberto Lenzi, I expected a bit more from the film. This one is more restrained than a lot of his more well known work. The plot does somewhat turn the spy genre on its head with a female lead. In most of these movies, if there is a female spy, she's only there to assist the male lead, provide a love interest, and play the damsel in distress. Not here. Schoeller's 008 takes charge. And she more than capable of handling the demands of the lead role. Nicely done. The film also features plenty of action and intrigue, but lacks the big set pieces and special effects found in spy films with bigger budgets. The twist at the end is a nice touch. I didn't see it coming so it worked on me. Finally, there are some very nice shots of the Cairo streets circa 1965. They give the film a real authentic feel.
5/10
Another of those movies that I'm going to describe as not great, but not horrible. 008: Operation Exterminate is about average. I admit that being directed by Umberto Lenzi, I expected a bit more from the film. This one is more restrained than a lot of his more well known work. The plot does somewhat turn the spy genre on its head with a female lead. In most of these movies, if there is a female spy, she's only there to assist the male lead, provide a love interest, and play the damsel in distress. Not here. Schoeller's 008 takes charge. And she more than capable of handling the demands of the lead role. Nicely done. The film also features plenty of action and intrigue, but lacks the big set pieces and special effects found in spy films with bigger budgets. The twist at the end is a nice touch. I didn't see it coming so it worked on me. Finally, there are some very nice shots of the Cairo streets circa 1965. They give the film a real authentic feel.
5/10
Monday, July 3, 2017
Switch "The James Caan Con" #1.1 (1975)
Conning a blackmailer, 3 July 2017
The first "real" episode of Switch is better than the pilot, but only just. In this one, Ryan and McBride are hired by an actress, Lane Cameron (Julie Sommars), who is being blackmailed over some scandalous photos. It seems that she was drugged and someone took the pics with the intent of blackmail. Our heroes soon learn that the blackmailer, Anthony Kirk (Keir Dullea), is a frustrated actor. The con they pull involves Kirk thinking he has a shot at a large film role in a movie opposite Ms Cameron.
I'm still not sold on Switch, but The James Caan Con was more enjoyable than the pilot. I think the shorter runtime worked in the shows favor. The con was pretty straight forward and didn't need any more time to fully realize. The acting was great. Eddie Albert's movie producer role was a real scenery chewer. And guest starts Sommars and Dullea more than held their own. My biggest complaint is with how easy it was to pull the con on Kirk. Like I said, he's a frustrated, out of work actor. He apparently hasn't had a steady acting gig in a long while. Yet he's dumb enough to believe that he has been selected for movie role ahead of James Caan. Either this guy is a complete idiot (which I don't think he is) or he's got the biggest ego in the world. Regardless, I did enjoy watching his face when everything unraveled. Nice.
6/10
I'm still not sold on Switch, but The James Caan Con was more enjoyable than the pilot. I think the shorter runtime worked in the shows favor. The con was pretty straight forward and didn't need any more time to fully realize. The acting was great. Eddie Albert's movie producer role was a real scenery chewer. And guest starts Sommars and Dullea more than held their own. My biggest complaint is with how easy it was to pull the con on Kirk. Like I said, he's a frustrated, out of work actor. He apparently hasn't had a steady acting gig in a long while. Yet he's dumb enough to believe that he has been selected for movie role ahead of James Caan. Either this guy is a complete idiot (which I don't think he is) or he's got the biggest ego in the world. Regardless, I did enjoy watching his face when everything unraveled. Nice.
6/10
Mission Stardust (1967)
- ...4 ..3 ..2 ..1 ...morte
I really, really, and I mean really, wanted to love this movie, 3 July 2017
Once setting down on the moon, a U.S. space mission, led by Major Perry Rhodan (Land Jeffries), discovers more than they bargained for – aliens. Thora (Essy Persson) and Kress (John Karelsen) are aliens stranded on the moon. Kress is ill and dying. He seems to be suffering from leukemia. Rhodan and crew know of a doctor working in Africa who may be able to help Kress. However, the alien craft is discovered in Africa setting off a race to take control of the craft between a government faction and a treasure hunter. Thora, however, will do anything in her power to save her ship.
Disclaimer: Let me start by saying that I have not read any of the Perry Rhodan books that Mission Stardust is based on. As such, I'm not going to get into that argument.
Mission Stardust is another of those movies that I really, really, and I mean really, wanted to love. It's got a bizarrely appealing premise, a groovy opening, some really cool gadgets, and wonderfully cheesy 1960s era special effects. Mission Stardust also has Essy Persson. Wow is about the best word I can use to describe her. Unfortunately, it takes more than one woman to make an entertaining movie. I think Mission Stardust suffers because it doesn't have a well thought out plot. The movie gets off to a fantastic start, tut it all grinds to a screeching halt in the second act. Dull isn't near a strong enough word. I'm not sure if there's a better cure for insomnia than the middle one-third of this movie. It's painful. If you can rouse yourself from the coma you're no doubt in, the films finale does, fortunately, pick up a bit. But by then, the damage is already done.
Looking up Essy Person's filmography on IMDb, I'm shocked to see only 17 acting credits – and, unfortunately for me, most of her work does not appear to be in English. Too bad. She had a fantastic screen presence.
4/10
I really, really, and I mean really, wanted to love this movie, 3 July 2017
Disclaimer: Let me start by saying that I have not read any of the Perry Rhodan books that Mission Stardust is based on. As such, I'm not going to get into that argument.
Mission Stardust is another of those movies that I really, really, and I mean really, wanted to love. It's got a bizarrely appealing premise, a groovy opening, some really cool gadgets, and wonderfully cheesy 1960s era special effects. Mission Stardust also has Essy Persson. Wow is about the best word I can use to describe her. Unfortunately, it takes more than one woman to make an entertaining movie. I think Mission Stardust suffers because it doesn't have a well thought out plot. The movie gets off to a fantastic start, tut it all grinds to a screeching halt in the second act. Dull isn't near a strong enough word. I'm not sure if there's a better cure for insomnia than the middle one-third of this movie. It's painful. If you can rouse yourself from the coma you're no doubt in, the films finale does, fortunately, pick up a bit. But by then, the damage is already done.
Looking up Essy Person's filmography on IMDb, I'm shocked to see only 17 acting credits – and, unfortunately for me, most of her work does not appear to be in English. Too bad. She had a fantastic screen presence.
4/10
Kung Fury (2015) (Short)
"I was able to triangulate the cell phone signal and trace the caller. His name is Adolf Hitler.", 3 July 2017
A regular plot summary on Kung Fury is about impossible. Kung Fury is so over-the-top, so random, and so completely insane that my head might explode if I tried to summarize the thing. Suffice it to say that a modern day cop named Kung Fury, who has was given extraordinary fighting abilities when he was hit by lightning while simultaneously being bitten by a cobra, travels back in time to stop Adolph Hitler before he can time travel to the future. Kung Fury is aided by Thor, two Amazon-type warriors, a super-hacker, and a triceratops who happens to be a cop. Or something like that.
I loved this short. Kung Fury mixes together everything that made 80s action movies so awesome into one mind-blowing experience. I could sit here and name about a dozen movies that Kung Fury uses for inspiration. It's all over the place. Somehow, director David Sandberg makes it all work and does so at break-neck speed. There's so much going on that the 30 minute runtime literally flies by. Just freakin' amazing.
I don't take the ratings I give lightly. If I give something a 9, that means I was completely blown away. My ratings are based primarily on entertainment value and Kung Fury entertained the pants off me!
9/10
I loved this short. Kung Fury mixes together everything that made 80s action movies so awesome into one mind-blowing experience. I could sit here and name about a dozen movies that Kung Fury uses for inspiration. It's all over the place. Somehow, director David Sandberg makes it all work and does so at break-neck speed. There's so much going on that the 30 minute runtime literally flies by. Just freakin' amazing.
I don't take the ratings I give lightly. If I give something a 9, that means I was completely blown away. My ratings are based primarily on entertainment value and Kung Fury entertained the pants off me!
9/10
Wild Women (1970) (TV)
"You have a few mares; how about a filly or two?", 3 July 2017
Basic Plot: The US Army wants to move some guns into the disputed Texas Territory. They decide to disguise the guns in a wagon train taking settlers west. To make things look truly authentic, though, they need women. The Army recruits five women from a local stockade to act as wives for the men.
Overall, Wild Women is harmless enough, but it's not very good. It's all horribly predictable and there's not much to get excited about. The title, Wild Women, is misleading. Sure, all of the women were in prison, but these are hardly hardened criminals. But "Wild Women" sounds more enticing than "Moderately Fun Women" or "Mildly Amusing Women". I suppose the "Wild" part had to be toned down as this was made for television. Also, being made-for-TV means that you know everything's going to be okay in the end. Any hardship they might face – Indian attack, lack of water, or the Mexican Army – is going to be resolved fairly quickly and in our heroes' favor. This isn't Peckinpah.
The cast is actually better than it had any right to be. I always enjoy seeing Marie Windsor. She's been a favorite of mine since I first watched Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy about 45 years ago. Wild Women also features the talents of Anne Francis, Huge (yes, I typed it that way on purpose) O'Brian, and Marilyn Maxwell. Not a bad cast for a fairly lame movie.
4/10
Overall, Wild Women is harmless enough, but it's not very good. It's all horribly predictable and there's not much to get excited about. The title, Wild Women, is misleading. Sure, all of the women were in prison, but these are hardly hardened criminals. But "Wild Women" sounds more enticing than "Moderately Fun Women" or "Mildly Amusing Women". I suppose the "Wild" part had to be toned down as this was made for television. Also, being made-for-TV means that you know everything's going to be okay in the end. Any hardship they might face – Indian attack, lack of water, or the Mexican Army – is going to be resolved fairly quickly and in our heroes' favor. This isn't Peckinpah.
The cast is actually better than it had any right to be. I always enjoy seeing Marie Windsor. She's been a favorite of mine since I first watched Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy about 45 years ago. Wild Women also features the talents of Anne Francis, Huge (yes, I typed it that way on purpose) O'Brian, and Marilyn Maxwell. Not a bad cast for a fairly lame movie.
4/10
Sunday, July 2, 2017
The Happy Thieves (1961)
Not as good as it could have been, 2 July 2017
The Happy Thieves gets off to a good start. Art thief Jimmy Bourne (Rex Harrison) steals a painting from a Spanish villa. He hands it over to Eve Lewis (Rita Hayworth) for transport to Paris. Once she arrives, Eve is shocked to discover the painting is missing. They have no idea how the stolen painting could have been stolen. To make matters worse, they are contacted by a man who has photographic proof they stole the painting. His silence comes with a heavy price tag. Jimmy and Eve must steal a gigantic, heavily guarded Goya from a Paris museum. Can they pull it off?
On paper, The Happy Thieves looks like a real winner. It's got a lot o things that usually appeal to me. Rex Harrison is an actor I usually enjoy. His work in My Fair Lady, for example, is fantastic. Likewise, I usually really enjoy Rita Hayworth. Gilda is one of my all time favorite films. The Happy Thieves is billed as a Euro- heist/comedy - a "genre" that appeals greatly to me. Finally, there's some nice cinematography, interesting locations, and strong actors in supporting roles. It all should have worked.
Unfortunately, The Happy Thieves is no where near as good as it should have been. The problem - it's as dull a movie as I've seen recently. Harrison, Hayworth, the heist/comedy elements - none of it can completely save this dud. The Happy Thieves is a chore to get through without falling asleep. It's about as dull as a kitchen knife at a beach house rental - and that's dull. Call it a missed opportunity. A generous 4/10 is the best I can rate the movie.
4/10
The Happy Thieves gets off to a good start. Art thief Jimmy Bourne (Rex Harrison) steals a painting from a Spanish villa. He hands it over to Eve Lewis (Rita Hayworth) for transport to Paris. Once she arrives, Eve is shocked to discover the painting is missing. They have no idea how the stolen painting could have been stolen. To make matters worse, they are contacted by a man who has photographic proof they stole the painting. His silence comes with a heavy price tag. Jimmy and Eve must steal a gigantic, heavily guarded Goya from a Paris museum. Can they pull it off?On paper, The Happy Thieves looks like a real winner. It's got a lot o things that usually appeal to me. Rex Harrison is an actor I usually enjoy. His work in My Fair Lady, for example, is fantastic. Likewise, I usually really enjoy Rita Hayworth. Gilda is one of my all time favorite films. The Happy Thieves is billed as a Euro- heist/comedy - a "genre" that appeals greatly to me. Finally, there's some nice cinematography, interesting locations, and strong actors in supporting roles. It all should have worked.
Unfortunately, The Happy Thieves is no where near as good as it should have been. The problem - it's as dull a movie as I've seen recently. Harrison, Hayworth, the heist/comedy elements - none of it can completely save this dud. The Happy Thieves is a chore to get through without falling asleep. It's about as dull as a kitchen knife at a beach house rental - and that's dull. Call it a missed opportunity. A generous 4/10 is the best I can rate the movie.
4/10
No Retreat, No Surrender (1986)
Was this written by a 10 year-old?, 2 July 2017
The basic plot of No Retreat, No Surrender is horribly familiar with bits of silliness thrown in for good measure. It goes something like this: a young man in a new town is pushed around and made to feel an outcast. Through training, hard work, and the help of Bruce Lee's ghost (who he prays to?), he makes himself into a karate expert. In the end, he alone will be forced to face-off against the New York-based karate thug to save the Seattle dojo from being taken over by organized crime. Sound ridiculous? It is.
I must be missing something, because I'm at a loss to explain all the positive comments on IMDb for No Retreat, No Surrender. Other than some pretty decent fight choreography, I can't find much else positive to say about the film. I know it was one of Jean-Claude Van Damme's first roles, but let's be honest, outside of the fights at the end, he's barely even in the thing. The acting is pathetic, some of the characters are cringy, the dialogue sounds like it was written by a 10 year-old, and the whole Bruce Lee's ghost bit is beyond ridiculous. It doesn't help that the dude they hired to play Bruce looks nothing like Bruce. A real stinker.
2/10
The basic plot of No Retreat, No Surrender is horribly familiar with bits of silliness thrown in for good measure. It goes something like this: a young man in a new town is pushed around and made to feel an outcast. Through training, hard work, and the help of Bruce Lee's ghost (who he prays to?), he makes himself into a karate expert. In the end, he alone will be forced to face-off against the New York-based karate thug to save the Seattle dojo from being taken over by organized crime. Sound ridiculous? It is.I must be missing something, because I'm at a loss to explain all the positive comments on IMDb for No Retreat, No Surrender. Other than some pretty decent fight choreography, I can't find much else positive to say about the film. I know it was one of Jean-Claude Van Damme's first roles, but let's be honest, outside of the fights at the end, he's barely even in the thing. The acting is pathetic, some of the characters are cringy, the dialogue sounds like it was written by a 10 year-old, and the whole Bruce Lee's ghost bit is beyond ridiculous. It doesn't help that the dude they hired to play Bruce looks nothing like Bruce. A real stinker.
2/10
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