Friday, July 19, 2019

The Minotaur, the Wild Beast of Crete (1960)

“Receive, oh Minotaur, the sacrifice of our virgin youth in tribute to thy vast glory.”, 19 July 2019

The quick pitch:  On her mother’s deathbed, Princess Fedra learns she has a twin.  Her reaction is to order her lost sister’s death. Oh, and there’s a minotaur living below the palace that requires virgin sacrifices.

For a movie called The Minotaur, the Wild Beast of Crete, I expected a bit more Minotaur action.  The creature doesn’t really make an appearance until the last 10 minutes, so he’s hardly a factor.  In the age of CGI we live in, the Minotaur may look silly and stiff, but I found the look pretty effective.  Fortunately, with all the plotting and scheming of Princess Fedra, there’s enough here to at least be somewhat entertaining.  Rosanna Schiaffino does an acceptable job in the dual role of the evil Fedra and the kind-hearted Arianna.  In addition, Alberto Lupo is convincing as Fedra’s sinister sidekick. They really are an enjoyable pair. And, as I’ve already alluded to, much of the plot is entertaining - nothing groundbreaking, but I found myself drawn into the story.  If it weren’t for the clunky acting on the part of hero Bob Mathias and the even clunkier fight choreography, I could’ve seen myself rate this one much higher. Still, a 5/10 ain’t all bad.

5/10

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Zone Troopers (1985)

It’s all so cheap looking, 17 July 2019


The quick pitch:  In the midst of WWII, the Nazis and Allies find something else to fight over - a crashed alien craft.

Ever wondered what would have happened if aliens had crashed in the middle of a WWII battlefield?  Yeah, me neither.  Zone Troopers takes this lame idea and sucks the life out of it.  The script is horribly dull, the direction is flat, and the acting is poor.  My biggest complaint though is that Zone Troopers is so cheap looking.  I wasn’t expecting much from the aliens (and the FX didn’t disappoint), but I hoped for more from the battle scenes.  Instead of battle-hardend soldiers, these guys reminded me of yokels playing paintball out in the woods.  The googly-eyed alien comes of looking not-half-bad in comparison.  


My “favorite” bit had to be the American soldier punching HItler.  How stupid was that?



3/10