- I criminali della galassia
So bad it's not so bad, 10 June 2005
The plot gets a bit muddled, but I'll give it a go. A mad scientist is trying to create a superior race. To do this, he has his henchmen kidnap and shrink his victims to the size of a Barbie doll. The "dolls" are then transported to his research facility for . . . I'm not sure what. Anyway, the scientists picks the wrong woman when he kidnaps the girlfriend of a space commander. He and his buddies go looking for the mad doctor's lair.
Antonio Margheriti made several of films I really enjoy - The Virgin of Nuremberg and Castle of Blood immediately come to mind. I cannot, however, include Wild, Wild Planet on the list of my favorite Margheriti films. If I had any inkling of an idea why the mad doctor was kidnapping and shrinking people then I might have enjoyed it more. I'm not asking for the movie to come out and spoon-feed me all of the plot points, just have a plot that's coherent.
The mad doctor's henchmen are about as un-threatening as a basket of puppies. The henchmen work in pairs - one is a beautiful woman with a beehive hairdo while the other is a bald, black trench coat wearing guy. The henchmen look more like 60s European models than evil kidnappers.
The sets are obviously made of miniatures. A couple of the scenes are unintentionally hilarious. The first involves a small flying craft that maneuvers around the city. Ed Wood's hubcap on a string doesn't look to bad in comparison. The second is a shot of a futuristic land vehicle that runs of the road and catches fire. The tiny fire looks like someone lit a couple of matches. It's really bizarre to see.
4/10
- I padroni della cittàAvoid, 8 June 2005
A small time hood tricks the local mob boss out of a lot of money. Of course the mob boss wants his money back and doesn't care who he has to kill to get it. The punk enlists his friend and an old mobster to help him save his life.
If this sounds ridiculous, it is. The whole idea that this Izod-wearing, dune buggy-driving punk could hold off one of the most powerful mobs in Rome is just plain silly. His friend may be good with a gun, but he's up against a group of trained killers. The old mobster is little more than comic relief and no real help when it comes to the face off with the mob. There's also a sub-plot about how the friend's father was killed years ago by the mob boss, but there's little made of it and it doesn't help the movie any at all.
The mob boss, Mister Scarface, is played by Jack Palance. I suppose he got the name because he has what looks like a shaving nick on his cheek. Palance is as ineffective as the rest of the cast, doing what he must to get a paycheck.
I've seen some pretty good Italian crime/cop flicks recently, but Mister Scarface isn't one of them. Check out Syndicate Sadists or Revolver instead.
3/10
Gritty, 6 June 2005
Across 110th Street is definitely a product of its time. Although it's lumped in with the Blaxplotation movies of its day, it's really doesn't belong with those films. While films like Foxy Brown, Cleopatra Jones, and Superfly featured larger than life characters that border on being comic book characters, Across 110th Street seeks to give a more accurate portrait of what was happening in the inner-cities in the early 1970s. Sure, the events have been fictionalized, but the gritty truth is just under the surface. These aren't pretty pictures with pretty Hollywood actors. These are people with little hope for the future. They're almost forced to take chances with their lives and lives of their loved ones to make a better future for themselves. It's ugly and totally fascinating at the same time. Across 110th Street is movie not to be missed.
7/10
Almost ruined by the final 5 minutes, 5 June 2005
Kubrick's The Killing is very nearly a perfect movie. The story centers around the daylight robbery of $2 million from a racetrack. A varied group of five men are brought together to plan and execute the hold-up. Kubrick's decision to tell the story in a non-linear fashion was a good one. The viewers attention is focused on each part of the hold-up and how each part relates to the whole. The detail is amazing. Through different eyes and ears, we see and hear the 7th race begin at least four different times.
The heist itself is a thing of beauty. Every part fits perfectly into place. There are very few lucky coincidences (which always angers me in a heist movie) necessary for the hold-up to work. The plan goes like clockwork. My favorite part had to be the bar fight scene between wrestler Kola Kwarini and fifteen police officers. It might seem like a silly thing, but it was absolutely necessary to divert the attention of track security.
The acting is great. Sterling Hayden is outstanding as the schedule obsessed head of the group. Elisha Cook plays Elisha Cook. If you're a fan of Cook from other films, you'll like him here. Marie Windsor is especially conniving as the cheating wife who is out for herself. And I always enjoy seeing Jay C. Flippin.
I started by saying that The Killing is nearly a perfect movie. But it's not perfect. I was ready to rate The Killing a 9/10 until the final five minutes. The ending is a cliché ridden disaster. Surely Kubrick could have come up with something better than having a poodle running onto the runway. It's hard to believe that a simple moment like that almost ruined the movie for me.
8/10
One of A & C's better films, 5 June 2005
Abbott and Costello (A & C) get mixed up with a gangster and become his sole heirs upon his death. The estate consists of an old roadside inn that may or may not be the hiding place for the gangster's money. But, there are a lot of other people who want to get their hands on that money - and some of them may be ghosts.
I have seen some people who claim that this is the best movie A & C made. While I don't necessarily agree with that, it's a solid effort. The mix of A & C, an old dark house, ghosts, gangsters, and a good supporting cast are a sure fire winner.
The supporting cast is stronger her than in many of the movies A & C made. On hand are Richard Carlson, Evelyn Ankers, and Marc Lawrence. But Joan Davis comes out looking the best. She's an actress who I've never really cared for, but in Hold That Ghost she makes the perfect companion for A & C. One of my favorite bits is the dance scene with her and Costello. Funny stuff.
7/10
- Janghwa, Hongryeon
Beautiful, 4 June 2005
It would be easy to dismiss A Tale of Two Sisters as being like The Sixth Sense or The Others. But that would be a mistake. Yes, there are plot similarities, but A Tale of Two Sisters is immanently more re-watchable. Where the other two movies suffer after you know the twist, A Tale of Two Sisters screams out for repeat viewings. The twist here is more involving, for a lack of a better word. There's just so much here to get your mind around that it's all but impossible to do with one viewing. I'm already looking forward to watching it again.
A Tale of Two Sisters is a hauntingly beautiful film. During several scenes I realized I had a real sense of unease. The characters are so easy to sympathize with that it's hard not to have these feelings when one of them faces danger. The setting adds a lot to the movies atmosphere. The big house with its many dark rooms makes an ideal location for this type of movie. The cinematography is simply stunning. The music, although sparse, fits the film nicely.
Even though I've never seen any of the actors in this movie before (and I doubt I ever will again), the performances are first rate. The two standouts are Su-jeong Lim and Jung-ah Yum. Lim, as the terrified daughter, is a character that I found it extremely easy to feel empathy for. It's amazing to watch her various transformations throughout the movie. And Yum plays the wicked stepmother role to perfection. She's an easy character to root against.
I haven't seen many Korean films (in fact, this is probably the only one I've ever seen), but I'm looking forward to discovering more.
8/10
Not as good as it could have been, 4 June 2005
The story of a group of animals from a zoo in New York who want to find the Wild. With the help (or possibly in spite of) some penguins, they manage to crash on Madagascar - the Wild. It's not long before their natural instincts start to show themselves. Can a zebra and a lion coexist when one of them is hungry?
Very hit or miss. Had the movie focused on the penguins, it might have been a winner. Instead, the "stars" are Alex the Lion and Marty the Zebra as voiced by Ben Stiller and Chris Rock. Is there a more annoying person on the planet who thinks he's funny than Stiller? I just don't get it. I find him dull and unfunny. Chris Rock is okay, he just seems out of place in this kind of movie.
5/10
- Ôdishon
A Masterpiece, 30 May 2005
Every once in a great while, you stumble upon a movie that you immediately know is a masterpiece. I had read what other people had written about Audition, but didn't really believe all the hype. Surely it couldn't be as good as people claimed. After seeing Audition for the first time, I simply cannot get the film out of my mind. I doubt I can come up with enough glowing adjectives to describe the movie - disturbing, fascinating, brutal, engrossing, etc. It is quite simply on of the best movies I've ever seen. Fortunately, I knew very little about Audition before I watched. The final 30 or so minutes blew me away. I'm not going to go into detail as this would ruin the movie for those who haven't seen it. Just be prepared for one of the most shocking endings you'll ever likely see.
The plot starts out as something right out of a Hollywood romantic-comedy. A middle-aged man wants to find a new wife. A producer friend of his sets up a series of bogus movie auditions as a way of meeting women. Does it sound enough like typical Hollywood tripe? The man meets the woman of his dreams. Or is she? What dark secrets does she hide? Watch and be amazed.
The acting is first rate. The two leads, Ryo Ishibashi and Eihi Shiina, are both excellently cast. Ishibashi comes across as a sympathetic figure who simply wants a companion. Shiina's performance is excellent as the seemingly demure woman with a hidden secret.
Takashi Miike is certainly a director that can be mentioned with the greats of the genre. The images he presents may be difficult to watch, but they aren't easily forgotten. Cinematography, editing, lighting, and the use of dream sequences are all first rate. Since I watched Audition, I've read numerous complaints about how slow the first part of the movie is . While it may seem slow to those more accustomed to Hollywood films where somebody is killed or something is blown-up every five minutes, the slow pace is absolutely necessary to increase the shock value of the end. Miike knew what he was doing.
There are any number of ways to interpret the film. I'm sure that with subsequent viewings, I'll look at the events the movie presents in a different light. There's a lot here to take in during one viewing. I'm almost positive that I'll change the rating of Audition to a 10/10 after a second viewing.
9/10
- Città violenta
Somebody buy Telly some clothes, 27 May 2005
Violent City is a real mixed bag. I'll start with the good. The ending is fabulous. The way our hero, hit-man Jeff Heston (Charles Bronson), gets his ultimate revenge is nothing short of sweet. His revenge comes out of nowhere and is startling when you realize what's happening. Bronson is another real bonus in the movie. Without too much dialogue, he's more than capable of portraying a variety of emotions. It's a refreshing change to see Bronson smiling and running on the beach as he does in one scene. You don't see that too often. Another highlight is the car chase at the beginning of the movie. Sollima lets the movie go on for a good 15 minutes during the car chase without a single line of dialogue being spoken. The chase is the key thing. Finally, Ennio Morricone's score nicely fits the action on screen. It's not his best, but any Morricone score is a winner.
As for the bad, there are stretches of the movie where nothing happens. I was fighting to keep my eyes open during some of the middle of the movie. Another bad, and I hate to say this, is Jill Ireland. She's surely got to be one of the worst actresses to ever appear in film. Finally, the show down between Bronson and Telly Savalas. It's over way too quick. I would have liked to see it drawn out to build the tension.
Finally, the ugly. If a half naked Telly Savalas doesn't classify as ugly, I don't know what does.
Overall, the good outweighs the bad in Violent City, but just barely. Without the "killer" ending, I would have rated the movie a point or two lower.
6/10
I hope Argento finishes the trilogy, 27 May 2005
As the second movie in Argento's Three Mother's trilogy, it's hard to watch Inferno without comparing it to Suspiria. And that's not really a fair comparison. Inferno has its moments of brilliance. The opening scenes as Rose (Irene Miracle) lowers herself into the flooded room are what horror movies are all about. It's easily one of my favorite moments from an Argento film, second only to the opening murder in Suspiria. The atmosphere, tension, and horror are overflowing. The first time I saw the movie, this scene had me literally squirming in my seat.
But Inferno also features what I feel are some of the worst moments to be found in an Argento film. Take the ending as an example. It's a real let down. The entire movie builds to the discovery of the second of the Three Mothers and it's over before it really gets started. Our hero (Leigh McCloskey) meets her, she transforms into Death, he runs away, and the building burns - end of movie. This evil creature whom we have waited to see the entire movie does nothing once we finally see her.
The look of Inferno is awesome. Inferno is like Suspiria on steroids. It's real eye-candy for the Argento fan. The use of colors, set direction, and lighting are about the best I've seen.
Keith Emerson's score is adequate. While it lacks some of the punch of a Goblin score, it suits the mood of the film nicely. Most of the acting is also adequate, with Daria Nicolodi's small role being my favorite. It's too bad she wasn't in more of the movie. While McCloskey and Miracle do nothing special, neither is a liability.
7/10
The weakest of the five, 27 May 2005
In the final Hercules made-for-television movie, Hercules is called upon to save a village from a Minotaur. But things are not as simple as they seem. The Minotaur has a secret that Hercules must overcome if he is to save himself and the village.
This is easily the weakest of the five movies that preceded the television series. Half of the running time is filled with flashbacks from the four previous movies. It gets old real quick. The actual battle with the Minotaur is a disappointment as well. The costume worn by the actor playing the Minotaur makes it all but impossible for him to move with any grace during the fight scenes. The relationship between Hercules and Iolaus, which would become one of the highlights of the television series, seems very unnatural. Almost all of the dialogue is designed to set up the next flashback.
Too bad, because this one has a lot of potential. The plot concerning the Minotaur's secret is one of the best in the five movies. Although the way it is handled makes it very obvious for anyone to guess.
3/10
One of the funniest movies ever made, 24 May 2005
Very few films can make me laugh out loud after I've seen them a dozen or so times. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is one of the exceptions. I can't help myself. Even though I know most of the movie by heart, I still laugh. The bits with the French guards at the castle, the Black Knight, the "Burn the Witch" mob, and the political discussions with the mud-collecting-peasants are as fresh today as the first time I saw the movie. It's silly, absurd, and totally ridiculous. But it works. I sincerely doubt I'll ever get tired of it.
Much of the reason I like the film so much is the decision on the part of Gilliam and Jones to play most of the movie straight. Graham Chapman plays King Arthur so deadly serious that it only makes the craziness around him even funnier. Had he played King Arthur for laughs, it wouldn't have been nearly so funny.
9/10
Fun, 22 May 2005
Of the first four Hercules movies that preceded the television series, this is easily my favorite. Hercules must save a town from an opening to Hades. Along the way, he faces several temptations and a slew of monsters. But that's not his greatest challenge. Deianeira has been killed and Hercules must find her while he's in Hades and bring her back to the land of the living.
These Hercules movies aren't about great acting or deep plot lines. Don't watch them expecting Academy Award winning material. These movies are about having fun. And Hercules in the Underworld delivers fun. From Hercules' battle with the giant Eryz the Boxer to his taking on zombies in the underworld, it's pure eye-candy filled entertainment. The special effects are quite good given the limited television budget. It's easy to see Sam Raimi's (Executive Producer) influence on the special effects. Many of creatures, etc. are used by Raimi in his Evil Dead movies.
Kevin Sorbo is the perfect television Hercules. He plays the character with tongue firmly in cheek. He's big enough to be believable and he's athletic enough to pull it off. The supporting cast is, for the most part, adequate enough in their roles. The exception is the most experienced actor of the bunch - Anthony Quinn. He just seems so out of place that I'm glad wasn't used in the regular series.
7/10
Interesting, but flawed, 22 May 2005
Liberia: An Uncivil War is a sometimes interesting, sometimes shocking, but sometimes flawed look at the last days of the Civil War in Liberia in 1993. One of the directors was embedded with the rebel group LURD, while the other spent his time in the capital city with the government and the people. The portions of the movie that focuses on the rebels is fascinating. More than of few of the rebels appear to be little more than boys. Their training appeared to be all but non-existent. Yet, the commitment to the rebel cause was obvious.
The portion focusing on the government was just as interesting. The images of civilians being slaughtered were horrific. It was amazing to watch some of these people attempt to go through life as if a battle wasn't taking place a few miles away. The one glaring weakness with this portion of the movie was the lack of in-depth coverage of the government's forces. Whether the filmmakers weren't afforded access or they just failed to report on the army was not made clear. What was clear was the fact that the army wasn't any more prepared or organized than the rebels.
My biggest complaint with the film (and I'm sure I'll get negative votes for this) was what I perceived to be an anti-American bias on the part of the filmmakers. At every possible opportunity, America was shown in as negative a light as possible. I understand that these may only be perceptions on my part, but that's the way I saw it.
5/10
- Gatto nero
It may not be Fulci's best, but I like it, 20 May 2005
Fulci's The Black Cat is "freely adapted" from Poe's story. I suppose that "freely adapted" means that the last 10 minutes might bear a vague resemblance. The Black Cat is the story of a man who uses his psychic abilities to force his cat to kill for him. But the tables soon turn when the man tries to kill the cat. The cat becomes master and uses the man.
The more Fulci I see, the more impressed I become. I started out with a couple that many people list among their favorites (The House by the Cemetery and City of the Living Dead) and neither did anything for me. But now that I've seen The Beyond, The Black Cat, A Lizard in Woman's Skin, and Don't Torture a Duckling, my opinion has changed. I now see the genius of Fulci that I've heard others rave about over the years. The Black Cat may not be his best, but it's an enjoyable Gothic thriller with loads of atmosphere. While the gore quotient may be turned down, there's still a few scenes that are undeniably Fulci.
Patrick Magee, in one of his final roles, gives a very solid performance as the mad psychic. He effectively displays a wide array of emotions and is generally believable in each. Magee really was in the same class with the likes of Karloff when it came to portraying menace. Mimsy Farmer co-stars as a photographer who is as dull as dishwater.
The cinematography is another area that stands out. Sergio Salvati presents some very noteworthy camera work. Chief among the scenes that stand out are the ones shot from the cat's point of view. The way the camera moves through the grass just as a cat would are very nicely done.
The weakest point of the movie, as is so often the case with Italian horror, is the plot. Much of it makes little sense. For example, why does Magee really want these people dead? There's no clear motivation from what I could tell. Also, there are several plot threads that look interesting, but are not explored in any detail. The example I'll cite here is the exploration of the ruins. They look interesting, but we learn nothing about them and only see them in one ten minute stretch of the movie.
7/10
Lee Van Cleef & Karen Black - What a Pair!!!, 18 May 2005
A retired safecracker (Lee Van Cleef) is lured out of retirement by the son of one of his buddies who is in trouble. The job - steal a load of diamonds from a warehouse safe. Things go terribly wrong. Van Cleef is wounded and everyone else is dead. Now, Van Cleef must elude the man who set-up the job, the man who owns the warehouse, and the police. It seems that Van Cleef's only ally is a crazy woman (Karen Black) who is the only other resident in an abandoned apartment building.
Over the years I've noticed that when the material he's faced with isn't first rate, Lee Van Cleef can overact with the best of them. And that's what he does here. There are many scenes where Van Cleef makes some of the most ridiculous faces for no purposes other than overemphasizing his point. It gets very distracting. But in The Squeeze, he's outdone by Karen Black. She chews scenery like her life depended upon it. I just had to laugh a couple of times (inappropriate times) because it was all too funny. I suppose that most of the blame for the acting weaknesses could be traced directly to the script. The characters are given some really lame lines.
The story itself is quite nice. There's one double-cross after the next. The ending really caught me off guard. Just when I thought I had things figured out, I was hit with another loop. The plot is the primary reason I've rated this movie as I have. If you're a fan of heist films, much of The Squeeze will appeal to you.
I would be remiss if, even in this short review, I didn't mention the soundtrack. The music is pure (bad) 70s disco. The main theme song is especially annoying and presents everything that was wrong with music from this period. Even worse, it's stuck in my head - Oh the Pain!
6/10
Too many problems for me to call it great, 14 May 2005
After reading the plot description and a few reviews, I felt certain that Leave Her to Heaven would be one of those movies I would immediately fall in love with. Gene Tierney's presence alone should have been enough to make it a sure fire winner with me. While it's not bad, I can't give it a full endorsement. As much as I hate doing this, I'll focus on two of the problems that stand out.
1. The Plot - I realize that this is a movie and not necessarily a reflection of real life, but the plot was just too unrealistic. We are supposed to believe that this woman was so evil and self-obsessed that she killed herself just to make others miserable. How silly is that? A woman like that would want to be around to see what effect her actions were having.
2. Cornel Wilde - My biggest problem with the movie was the casting of Cornel Wilde. He is so utterly dry and vanilla that watching grass grow is more exciting. Rarely have I been treated to a more lackluster performance. Are we really supposed to believe that a character like the one played by Gene Tierney would fall for this guy? I didn't buy it for a second.
With little tinkering on the plot and casting, this could have been an outstanding movie.
6/10
- Il mio nome è Nessuno
It's like Leone Meets the Three Stooges, 14 May 2005
All that gunslinger Jack Beauregard (Henry Fonda) wants to do is retire while he's still alive. But Nobody (Terence Hill) wants to see Beauregard go out in blaze of glory. Nobody dogs him across the West insisting that if Beauregard will just face one more enemy, he's sure to go down in the annals of history. But Nobody's idea is for Beauregard to have it out with the 150 man strong Wild Bunch - all alone.
The shortest and most to the point description that I can come up with for this movie is "Sergio Leone Meets the Three Stooges". On the one hand, you've got Henry Fonda in the traditional Western role (albeit Spaghetti Western). On the other hand, you've got Terence Hill performing some of the best slapstick and pantomime since the era of the silent film. It sounds like an unlikely combination, but Valerii successfully marries the two styles into a very enjoyable experience. The scenes with Fonda and Hill together are as good as you'll see in a Spaghetti Western.
While some of Hill's comedy seems goofy and doesn't work that well, most of it is very funny. There are moments of pure genius. The shooting scene in the saloon is a particular favorite of mine.
Morricone's score is amazing. He draws inspiration from and pays homage to some of the earlier scores he did. I was reminded several times of Once Upon a Time in the West, the Dollars Trilogy, and other Spaghetti Westerns. Writing positive comments on a Morricone score is becoming a bit redundant. Did he ever write a score that you could call bad?
For those of us who have only seen My Name is Nobody on VHS with bad transfers and missing footage, the new Image DVD is a real treat. It was a lot like watching the movie for the first time. I never thought this movie could look so good. My only complaint is the lack of extras. The disc doesn't even have a trailer.
8/10
Nice and Twisted, 13 May 2005
Deranged is a Ed Gein type story - a man takes care of his elderly mother and knows nothing else. After her death, he discovers he can't get on without her so he decides to dig her up and bring her home. She's been in the ground for over a year so she needs some work. In a matter of time, the graverobber discovers that fresh, living tissue will work better on Mama than dead tissue.
I really enjoy it when I stumble across a film that I've somehow missed over the years. I finally picked-up the Motel Hell / Deranged disc from MGM. The reason was Motel Hell, not having heard much about Deranged. Discovering Deranged on the flip side of the disc was like finding money under a couch cushion - a very nice surprise. It's got most everything one could ask for in a horror movie - twisted characters, flowing blood, a familiar but compelling story, and dead bodies everywhere. But the thing that most impressed me was the acting. Roberts Blossom gives an outstanding performance as Ezra Cobb. There are actually moments when you forget you're watching an actor and really believe what the character is doing. Blossom did that for me. It was as if I was watching a real person. Mannerisms, facial expressions, voice, look, and actions seem absolutely real.
Even though the MGM disc is cut, I still found many of the scenes very violent. I thought the waitress' death was brutal until I saw what Ezra had in store for the hardware clerk. It's not for the squeamish and not something you see in movies made today. It's raw and brutal. There's "real" violence without a happy ending. The movie is not, however, without a touch or two of comedy that work on some level. The best of these scenes is the contact with the spirit world scene. I actually laughed out loud.
If you can find the Motel Hell / Deranged MGM disc, I would highly recommend it.
7/10
- Latidos de pánico
Major Disappointment, 8 May 2005
From the moment I saw this listed as on the Mondo Macabro website, I was intrigued. It looked good and the reviews I read were mostly positive. So when it was finally released, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. After watching it, I wish I would have waited.
What a major disappointment. Right from the start, I knew that Panic Beats couldn't meet my expectations. The whole look and feel of the film is terrible. It has that straight-to-video look that usually destroys atmosphere. The sets are nothing special at all. Most of the film looks like it could have been shot in my house. The story is incredibly predictable. There are a lot of twists and turns in the plot, but most are telegraphed from a mile away. The gore scenes are horribly done. And the whole concept of a knight that comes back from the dead is straight out of Scooby Doo. It's not a very frightening image.
Paul Naschy does his best to provide some chills. With raised eyebrows and a menacing stare, he does his best to look frightening. But for the most part, it doesn't work. The most frightening scenes are of Naschy naked in the bathtub. Now that had me screaming.
As for Mondo Macabro's disc, it's very well done. I have no complaints with the image, sound, or subtitles. The extras are quite nice, including a brief history of Spanish horror.
3/10
Pam Grier is Amazing, 7 May 2005
Foxy Brown is a great example of the Blaxplotation films made in the 1970s. It's a product of its time and (even though a remake is in the works) could not be made today. The PC crowd would go nuts if such a movie were released in 2005.
Foxy Brown is the story of a woman looking for revenge after her boyfriend is gunned down in front of her house. She's not going to let anyone, not even her brother, stand in the way of her mission.
Foxy Brown works primarily because of two key ingredients - Pam Grier and Jack Hill. After watching just a few minutes, it's easy to forget that your watching Grier and, instead, think you are really watching Foxy. Grier is perfect as Foxy. I honestly can't imagine anyone else in the role. She's one of those smart, tough, caring, and honest characters that you don't often, unfortunately, see being played by a black woman. She is the ultimate in her own butt-kicking, outfit-changing, pulling-a gun-from-her-afro kind of way.
As for Jack Hill, he was able to make a movie on a very tight, limited budget that looks much larger than it really is. There are a few instances where you would have liked to see Hill do a re-shoot, but for the most part, the movie's flaws are not obvious.
8/10
- Christina, princesse de l'érotisme
I had such high hopes for this one, 3 May 2005
Jess Franco's A Virgin Among the Living Dead was a real disappointment to me. Based on the plot descriptions I had read on the internet and the recommendations of a few trusted movie friends, I was sure that it would become one of my favorite Franco films. The living dead family are the biggest bunch of "do nothings" I've seen. Other than play the piano, have sex, and stand around talking, they really don't do much of anything. At a minimum, I would have thought they would be creepy, but dressed in their mod 70s outfits, they look like swingers on the make. I've come to expect more of my living dead.
Franco's camera work (or it could possibly be the editing) is especially erratic in A Virgin Among the Living Dead. The film presents random flashes of images that have nothing to do with what's taking place on screen. The movie features random shots of various trees, random bushes on the side of the road, a couple of unknown people, an unidentified lake, and an unidentified fisherman. In several scenes, it's obvious that Franco had some extra footage he took from a car window or while walking in a forest that he included in the movie. While some of the other shots are quite nice to look at, they don't overcome the chaotic imagery.
Acting is the strong point in the movie. Even though he has one of the goofiest characters I've seen him play, Howard Vernon gives a very nice performance. Paul Muller, in a small role, is as solid as ever. But the surprise for me came from Christina von Blanc. For a relative unknown, she does a nice job in the title role of the "virgin".
4/10
- Il giustiziere sfida la città
Milian is Awesome, 1 May 2005
Tomas Milian is Rambo - a biker who arrives in Milan right in the middle of a war between two crime families. When his brother, a member of a kidnap investigation team, is killed, Rambo seeks revenge. He pits the two families against each other in hopes that they will destroy themselves so he can free the young boy being held for ransom.
Syndicate Sadists was a blind purchase for me and I couldn't be more thrilled. This marks one of my first forays into the Italian sub-genre known as Polizia (or whatever the correct word is). And, I must say that I'm thrilled to have discovered these movies. If some of the others that I have on order (Contraband and Revolver) are half as good, I'll be delighted.
I always have a good time watching Tomas Milian. He may come across as a conceited jerk in some of his interviews, but he has good reason. He never fails to entertain. His character, Rambo (please note that this movie was made long before First Blood), is one of my favorites. He's tough, compassionate, and mysterious.
The action and gunplay are great. Between the gun fights and chase scenes, there is plenty of action to go around. One of my favorite scenes in the movie was the relatively calm showdown at the end between Rambo and the head of one of the families. Any movie that puts Milian and the scene-chewing Joseph Cotton together is a Euro-film lover's wet dream.
If the brief description of the plot sounds familiar, don't be surprised. Once the movie got rolling, I said to myself on a number of occasions that it reminded me of A Fistful of Dollars. Imagine my surprise when my notion was confirmed while watching the interview with Lenzi on the DVD. He freely admitted that the story was inspired by Leone's film.
8/10
- E tu vivrai nel terrore - L'aldilà
"Woe be unto him who opens one of the seven gateways to Hell, because through that gateway, evil will invade the world.", 1 May 2005
Liza Merril (Catriona MacColl) takes possession of a hotel in Louisiana. She has plans to renovate the place. But a series of seemingly accidental deaths may put a stop to her plans. She's unaware that her hotel has a past. Many years ago, a warlock was lynched in the basement of the hotel. Before dying, he claimed that the hotel was one of the seven doorways to hell and that his death would lead to its opening. Is his prophecy coming true?
I've never been the biggest fan of Lucio Fulci. Other than a couple of gialli, my experiences with his films have not left me with much of desire to see more (For example, I thought House by the Cemetery was terrible and I walked out of the theater during City of the Living Dead). So, I had never been in a rush to see The Beyond. While it has problems, The Beyond is much more enjoyable than a lot of Fulci's other work.
Two things work for me in The Beyond - atmosphere and Catriona MacColl. When watching some of his other films, I came away with the impression that Fulci wasn't patient enough to allow atmosphere to build. He always seemed to be in a rush to get to the money shot. The hotel in this movie is filled with a good amount of atmosphere. There is a sense of dread hanging over the place. You can especially feel it when the characters venture into the basement. It's all but palatable.
As for MacColl, through her acting she's able to pull together the barest of story lines and create a character I could care about. It's difficult to enjoy a horror movie when you don't care about the characters. A little more insight into the MacColl's character would have been very welcome.
As I stated previously, the movie is not without problems. The biggest is the plot. It's all but non-existent. The actual why's and how's of the doorway to hell opening are never really explored. We only see some of the aftermath. We know that the doorway to hell is in the basement of the hotel, then why does half of the movie take place at a hospital? Furthermore, the weak plot does not allow the characters to be fleshed out as much as I would have liked. I knew so little about most of the characters that I really didn't care what happened to them. The plot seems to matter little to Fulci as its main function is to string together a series of gristly set pieces. And that's always been my biggest complaint about Fulci - he throws tons of gore into his movies, not to advance the storyline, but for the sake of showing gore. Gore does not necessarily equal horror. I'll use the spider attack scene from The Beyond as an example. While I'll say that it certainly was gross and very nicely done,but it's not scary because it happens out of the blue to a character I know nothing about. Gore does not bother as long as it is presented within the context of the story.
Overall, my experience with The Beyond has made me rethink some of my thoughts of Fulci. I may need to see some of his other films that I've been putting off.
7/10
Very nice $1 DVD, 29 April 2005
A group of American commandos, disguised as Italian solders, must infiltrate North Africa and take of an Italian outpost. In addition to the Axis forces in the area, the commandos face one other obstacle - a battle-hardened and battle-scarred sergeant who doesn't see eye-to-eye with his "green" commanding officer. This may prove to be the biggest hurdle that the American solders face.
Commandos has a lot to recommend - action, suspense, cast, and locations. The action sequences are first rate. The final battle scene is a thing of beauty and far exceeded my expectations given the films obviously limited budget. In between the moments of action, Crispino is able to inject the movie with some very suspenseful moments. For example, you can feel the tension in the air when the commandos have their first face-to-face meeting with some of the nearby German troops. Several Euro-movie regulars make-up an excellent supporting cast. Chief among them are Marino Mase (the Italian officer who must work with the Americans to save his men) and Joachim Fuchsberger (the German officer who would rather be at home than fighting a war). The entire production takes place on what I felt were very authentic looking sets. If not for a couple of flaws, this could easily have become a personal favorite.
But there are flaws in Commandos. Chief among them is the usually solid Lee Van Cleef. You can look far and wide but I doubt you'll find anyone who overacts and chews the scenery quite like Van Cleef does in this movie. He plays Sgt. Sullivan, the grizzled solder who has seen more than his fair share of combat. He has issues taking commands from the new Captain and he doesn't mind showing it. The problem is that Sullivan shows his disdain for his new CO a little too often and a little too vocally. I just can't imagine a real solder questioning a superior officer quite like Sullivan does in Commandos. It would seem to be a sure fired way to get yourself court marshaled. To top it off, Sullivan's beef with the Captain is so superficial. He never gives the Captain a chance. He dislikes the man from the moment he hears his name. A more realistic disagreement between the two solders would have made the movie much better.
There are several budget companies that specialize in public domain films that have released Commandos. I paid all of $1 for my copy and couldn't be happier.
6/10
Simply Awful, 28 April 2005
Such as it is, I'll try to give a brief outline of the movie. During a photo session, the photographer strangles his model. Meanwhile, a bookstore owner stalks and knives a wino. Later, the same photographer strangles another model. The bookstore owner stalks and knives another wino. This continues until the two meet. Without a word, they seem to fall in love. But what kind of relationship can two serial killers have? Apparently, not much of one.
The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher is the perfect example of inept film-making. If you're idea of a good time is watching people you don't know kill other people you don't know, this may be the movie for you. This basic premise is repeated over and over and over. Eventually, I just wanted to throw something at the screen. How about a little explanation as to who these people are and why they are doing what they do? Unfortunately, concepts like a plot don't get in the way of the killing.
Steckler filmed this movie without any dialogue. He later added some voice overs at the insistence of his distributor. Dialogue may have helped, although I doubt it.
If you really must see this movie, watch it with Joe Bob Briggs commentary. There are a few laugh out loud moments. Otherwise, I found it impossible to get through even the first 10 minutes.
1/10
It had a lot of potential., 26 April 2005
A family finds a nice, big, old house at a reasonable rate to rent for the Summer. The only catch is that they must take care of the old lady who lives upstairs. The house is great and the "catch" seems simple enough so the family soon moves in. It's not long, however, until strange things start happening. The father (Oliver Reed) begins having nightmares while awake about traumatic events from his childhood. The aunt (Bette Davis) gets very sick and has trouble leaving her bed. And the mother (Karen Black) disappears into the old lady's quarters for hours on end. And this is only the start of the families problems. Soon, it becomes apparent that the house is alive and will not let any of them leave.
One problem with the movie is the direction. Burnt Offerings was directed by Dan Curtis. If you're not familiar with Curtis, his primary claim to fame is the 1960s horror soap opera, Dark Shadows. Like other movies he made, Burnt Offerings looks like a television movie. He appears to have had a lot of problems transitioning to the big screen. Special effects, camera positioning, and action are similar to what you could see on television in 1976.
Speaking of cameras and special effects, I'll never understand why someone would so frequently use a gel lens as Curtis does here. It's like watching a movie through Vaseline. After a while, my eyes started hurting from having to try so hard to focus.
But the biggest problem I had with the film was the story. It is so predictable. Once the family moved into the house, it took literally 15 minutes to figure out what was going to happen. If you can't see that Karen Black's character is going to be possessed or if you don't realize that there is no old woman, you must live in a cave and never watch movies. I've never seen such a transparent plot where the ending was so telegraphed from the beginning.
The acting makes up for a lot of the shortcomings in the movie. Oliver Reed is good in almost everything I've seen him in. He has to be one of my all-time favorites. Karen Black does a reasonable job of portraying a woman slowly being possessed. And, while I was ready to hate Bette Davis in the movie, I found her character the most fun and energetic in the whole film. Not bad for a woman who was 68 when the movie was made.
6/10
It's the same joke over and over and over....., 25 April 2005
Elvira moves to a small town to claim her inheritance - an old, rundown house. Although most of the townspeople don't approve, the kids in town are only too happy to help her fix-up her house. Elvira finds what she believes to be a cookbook in the house. Her uncle offers to buy it from her, but she won't sell. The book, it seems, contains more than ordinary recipes. It's a book of spells that Elvira must learn to use to save herself and the town.
I've seen this movie several times over the years. And with each viewing, I find myself enjoying it less and less. Elvira is a one note character - boob jokes. And, while some of the jokes are funny the first couple of times, the jokes get tired real quick. Without the comedy, Elvira becomes little more than a bad actress in a very revealing dress.
The brightest spot in the movie is Edie McClurg. She's one of those people that can make me laugh regardless of how bad the material may be. When you see her, she's the exact opposite of what you expect a comedian to look like. And she uses that to her advantage here playing the holier than though Chastity Pariah.
Even though Elvira, Mistress of the Dark may not be as good in my eyes as I once thought it was, it's still miles better than Elvira's second movie, Elvira's Haunted Hills - another one joke movie.
5/10
- La mano de un hombre muerto
The last 1/4 is fantastic, 24 April 2005
A series of murders of young women have the townspeople believing that a centuries old killer, Baron Von Klaus, has returned from the dead. Many of the locals claim to have seen his shadowy figure rising from the nearby swamp. Is it really the dead Baron come back to claim more victims or is it one of his descendants?
The biggest reason I don't rate this movie any higher is that I found the first 3/4 of the movie to be incredibly boring. There's little suspense, little action, and little drama. I generally don't mind a slow moving movie as long as there is plenty of atmosphere and a sense of dread. But, Franco doesn't seem to be one of those directors who excels at atmosphere. Usually, he doesn't seem patient enough, but here he just seems to have no idea of how to do it.
The final fourth of this movie, however, is quite well done. The ritualistic murder is both frightful and erotic at the same time. And there is some real suspense in the chase scene leading up to the murderer's capture.
The more Franco movies I see, the more I'm growing to enjoy his choice of music. The snappy jazz scores are now one of the things I look forward to.
6/10
Solid Columbo, 20 April 2005
One of the better Columbo movies I've seen thus far. The mystery is intelligent and the killer's actions are what you would expect from a doctor. The mystery will keep you guessing up to the last scene. Often, these Columbo movies have a less than satisfactory ending. It's as if the writers too often had no idea how to end the thing and resort to having the killer confess when faced with the flimsiest of evidence. That's not the case here. The evidence, when finally presented, is damning and leaves no doubt about the doctor's guilt.
Leonard Nimoy makes an excellent advisory for Peter Falk's Columbo. He is essentially playing Mr. Spock - calm, rational, and intelligent. Even with faced with Columbo's erratic behavior, he never loses his cool. In fact, this is one of the few episodes where I remember Columbo losing it. In one scene, he slams a clock to the desk and let's the unflappable Nimoy have it. It's a very uncharacteristic moment for Columbo, but only proves he's human like the rest of us.
The only real weakness I see in the movie is the decision to cast Will Geer as the head of an important research project. Maybe I saw the Waltons too many times while growing up, but Geer is too kindly and simple to be my ideal choice to play such an important doctor and researcher.
8/10
Not as bad as most say, 19 April 2005
A group of scientist go back to the Black Lagoon to capture the Creature. From there he is taken to an aquarium in Florida for research. The Creature develops a sort of "crush" on one of the female scientists, escapes, and kidnaps her. Can the Creature be stopped?
While it's the weakest of the series, I probably rate Revenge of the Creature higher than most other people who claim to be fans. It definitely didn't deserve the MST3K treatment. The love story and escape work for me. I especially enjoy the scenes of the Creature terrorizing the guests and workers at the aquarium. Good stuff.
One of the problems I have with the movie is understanding the actions of the so-called scientists. First, they head of to the Black Lagoon and proceed to dynamite the place to capture the Creature. They actually seem willing to kill every other living animal to get the Creature. Is that the way real scientists operate? And while I understand the point of the experiments they perform on the Creature once in Florida, the scientists seem a little too anxious to administer the shock treatment to the Creature. It's just not very realistic, even by 1950s horror/sci-fi movie standards.
If you've never seen Revenge of the Creature, be on the look-out for an uncredited and VERY young Clint Eastwood in his first movie role.
7/10
Craven's Best, 18 April 2005
A fairly typical family is traveling through the desert when their car runs off the road and breaks an axle. They find themselves stranded in an isolated, hot, and dry area near some rock-strewn, menacing looking hills. As it would happen, the hills are home to an equally menacing looking band of cannibals. The family must endure a night from hell as they fight to stay alive. Will they all make it?
This is easily my favorite horror movies that Wes Craven has made. It's much more enjoyable as an entertainment vehicle than his previous work, The Last House on the Left (I will never understand how anyone say that they find The Last House on the Left quality entertainment), but it's not as safe as the family-friendly, quote-ready horror he would later make. I often use the same adjectives to describe The Hills Have Eyes that I use when describing The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) - raw, savage, brutal, and unrelenting. The people in the hills don't think or act like you and I. They're quite capable of anything and prove that throughout the night with their attacks on the family. Rape, murder, and kidnap are all they know and the only way they know to survive. You get the feeling throughout the movie that anyone could die.
I'll admit that some of the acting is less than good. Virginia Vincent plays the stranded mother and delivers some lines in the most unintentionally hysterical manner. On the other end of the spectrum is Susan Lanier. Her portrayal of the frightened Brenda Carter is very realistic and adds a degree of authenticity to the film. I've often compared her performance to that of Marilyn Burns in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Portraying a frightened character with all of the screaming involved cannot be an easy thing to do.
The Hills Have Eyes explores some of the same themes that Craven covered in The Last House on the Left. That is, who are the civilized and who are the savages? How much and how long does it take for a normal person to be reduced the same level as their attackers? It's an interesting idea that would require a better understanding of psychology than I have.
The Region 1 DVD from Anchor Bay is a must have for any fan of this movie. Having seen The Hills Have Eyes repeatedly at midnight movies in the early 80s, I didn't think the movie could look this good. It's not perfect, but it is so superior to any other transfer I've seen. The DVD is loaded with features, including a very informative commentary from Craven and the producer, Peter Locke, and a "making of" documentary that runs almost one hour. It's one of the best SEs that I own.
8/10
Disturbing, 17 April 2005
After the death of her parents, a girl, Justine (Susana Kamini), arrives at a convent hoping to find a new life. She immediately meets Alucarda (Tina Romero). Before long, Alucarda professes her love for Justine and wants to seal their friendship with a blood oath. But the spot the girls select to perform this ceremony is home to evil spirits that take over their bodies. Soon after, the girls express their allegiance to Satan and Alucarda attacks a priest. The girls eventually find themselves the subjects of an exorcism.
Alucarda certainly is a twisted story full of imaginative imagery. Between blood pacts, orgies with Satan, levitating nuns, exorcisms, reanimated dead bodies, and the fiery destruction of the convent, there are very few moments to catch a breath. I found everyone of these moments visually disturbing, yet somehow incredibly beautiful. It's a real contradiction to see a nun floating off the ground covered in blood and think to yourself that it's one of the most beautiful images you've seen in a film.
There are other contradictions within Alucarda that add to its effectiveness. Take Alucarda herself as played by Romero. She is evil and innocent at the same time. It's truly a remarkable performance.
9/10
Pam Grier = Awesome, 17 April 2005
Jackie Brown (Pam Grier) is a flight attendant who gets busted when returning from Mexico with cash and cocaine. She works out a deal with the police to help them catch her boss, Ordell Robbie (Samuel L. Jackson) in return from her freedom. Ordell has $500,000 in Mexico that Jackie is to bring to him. But there are a lot of people who want that money - the police, Ordell, Ordell's girlfriend, and even Jackie. Who is going to scam who to get their hands on the money?
Until I saw Jackie Brown, I had a hard time believing that any Tarantino film could top Kill Bill. Now, I'm not so sure. I need to revisit Kill Bill to be sure. Jackie Brown is a more "grown-up" film than most of his other works. It doesn't try as hard to be cool like Pulp Fiction and it doesn't try to be as violent as Kill Bill. Oh, the coolness and violence is there, but Jackie Brown is more about the story and characters than either of those films. It's a more subdued film that is a nice change of pace from what I had expected from Tarantino.
For me, Jackie Brown works because of two things - a good script and excellent acting. I'll start with the script. Tarantino may be one of the most self-absorbed jerks on the planet, but he certainly can write a script. The characters in Jackie Brown talk like real people. They're not like a lot of movie characters that seem so unreal you are unable imagine beyond the confines of the movie. These people are smart, clever, and capable of showing real emotion. It doesn't hurt any that Tarantino had good source material in the form of Elmore Leonard's Rum Punch.
As for the acting, Pam Grier is AWESOME. I've seen a few of her movies from the 70s, but now I'm inspired to track them all down. She's cool, tough, vulnerable, and afraid - all at the same time. Kudos to Tarantino for taking a chance on an actress without the big Hollywood name. When you add Robert De Niro, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Michael Keaton, Bridget Fonda, and the rest, you've got an all-star cast that, for once, lives up to the hype.
Another thing I've always enjoyed about Tarantino's movies is the music. The soundtrack to Jackie Brown may be the best.
9/10
Other than Feldman, not much to recommend, 16 April 2005
Being too busy to take the case, Sherlock Holmes' sends a client to visit his younger brother, Sigerson (Gene Wilder). Along with his sidekick Sgt. Slacker (Marty Feldman), Sigerson faces a client who can't tell the truth, missing government documents, an evil Moriarty, and an opera singing blackmailer. Can Sigerson solve the case and steal some of the spotlight from Sherlock?
If you look across the internet, you'll likely find more positive reviews of this film than negative. I don't get it. There are a few good ideas, but much of this movie just isn't very funny. Wilder tries his best to make a film in the same vein as Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein, but fails to do so. It's a shame because Wilder assembled many of the same cast members that made Young Frankenstein so memorable. The blame has to go to the script (also written by Wilder). It's a mess. In Young Frankenstein, screwball characters were placed within a recognizable story that drew inspiration from Universal's Frankenstein series. In Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother, you have similar screwball characters, but there is no recognizable framework for them to operate. The movie might have worked had Wilder chosen to use the Basil Rathbone Holmes' films as inspiration.
That's not to say that parts of the movie aren't funny. A few of Feldman's scenes brought more than a smile to my face. But these scenes were quickly followed by yawn inducing moments that took the steam right out of the movie.
Finally, what's up with Dom DeLuise? Does anyone really think this guy was ever funny?
4/10
Someone wake me when it's over, 15 April 2005
A newlywed couple move into the home of the husband's dead former wife. It's not long before the new wife begins to have the feeling that someone doesn't want her in the house. She sees skulls all around the house. But when the husband investigates, he can't find anything. Is someone trying to drive her back to the asylum that she was recently discharged from? Or, is the ghost of the dead wife trying to get the new wife out of her house?
This is the first time that I've watched The Screaming Skull without the assistance of the MST3K crew. And, it will in all likelihood be the last time I watch it this way. Can you say dull? I'm not talking ordinary dull - I'm talking watching grass grow dull. There are great stretches of the movie where nothing happens. The screen could have gone blank and I would have gotten as much entertainment out of it. The characters drone on and on with the most monotonous conversations imaginable. The Screaming Skull could probably be marketed as a sleep aide.
The actors don't help matters much. Most of them deliver lines with the conviction normally reserved for a grade school play. I haven't looked it up, but I would be shocked to find that anyone associated with this movie ever appeared in anything of cinematic value. I won't even go into the script the actors are given to work with. Let's just say that the characters are given some of the most idiotic lines ever uttered on film.
You've been warned! Either avoid this one at all costs or, at least, seek out the MST3K version.
1/10
- Ju-rei: Gekijô-ban - Kuro-ju-rei
No Originality, 12 April 2005
There is a curse affecting all who come into contact with it. It's spread like a horrible disease that only requires contact with an affected person. If you have the curse, you can expect to die a terrible, horrific death. The problem is that you may not know you've been cursed until it's too late and you see the black figure coming to get you.
If you are a fan of horror and the very brief description sounds familiar, don't be surprised. Ju-rei exhibits very little in the way of originality. It's the best parts of Ju-on or The Grudge repeated over and over. The ghosts look the same, sound the same, move the same, and have the same motivations. Furthermore, within the movie there is also little originality. The movie is divided into ten chapters. Once you've seen two or three of the chapters, you can pretty well guess what's going to happen next. One chapter is almost the same as the next chapter. There nothing much to make one chapter distinguishable from the others. While I found the first couple of chapters fairly frightening, the repetitive nature of the movie really hurts any scares in the later chapters.
The story is told backwards from chapter 10 to chapter 1. At first this seemed to be an interesting, unique way of telling a story. Trying to figure out who was who and how they came into contact with the curse was part of the fun of playing along. But, after a few chapters, it really didn't seem to matter much. Again, the lack of originality really hurt the movie.
Another problem I had with the movie was the beginning and ending. Or, to put it in a better way, the lack of a beginning and the lack of an ending. The movie presents no resolution to the events in the movie. It just ends. Likewise, the movie does not present a clear starting point. It's as if the curse has always been there and we are just viewing part of it's progress. I felt very unsatisfied.
4/10
"This thing is never going to heal.", 9 April 2005
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid is a spoof of the film noirs popular in the 40s and 50s. While the plot doesn't matter, here it is in a nutshell - Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin) is hired by Juliet Forrest (Rachel Ward) to find out what happened to her father, a noted scientist and cheese maker. Along the way, Reardon gets shot in the arm (three times), gets slipped a mickey, makes coffee, dresses like a woman, talks on the phone with Phillip Marlowe, loses his pajamas, shaves his tongue, adjusts Juliet's breasts, picks up dog poo, battles Nazis, and falls in love. All in a normal day for a private eye.
The gimmick to Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid is mixing the old film clips with the actions of Steve Martin. Carl Reiner does a fabulous job of seamlessly matching not only the look, but the atmosphere of clips from movies like The Bribe and The Killers with the new footage of Martin and Rachel Ward. It's often difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins. Much of the credit must surely go to costume designer extraordinaire Edith Head. Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid was the last of the 426 films she credited as costume designer. Her clothing designs for the new footage perfectly fit the clips from the old movies - many of which she did the original costume design.
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid may be my favorite movie with Steve Martin. He plays Reardon perfectly. He doesn't play it as a comedy, but straight instead. This makes it all the more funny. Rachel Ward is adequate as the female lead.
The only negative thing I can say about the movie is that the big finale gets a little off-track. Carl Reiner's character is a little too over-the-top and doesn't fit with the straight tone the movie had presented up to this point. A little more realism on his part might have made for a much better ending.
8/10
- Les lèvres rouges
Horror as Art, 9 April 2005
A newlywed couple arrive at an ocean front motel to begin their honeymoon. As it's the off-season, they are the only guests. That is until a mysterious Hungarian Countess and her equally mysterious companion arrive and take rooms just next door. It soon becomes apparent that the Countess has designs on the young bride that could lead to her death. Is the Countess responsible for a string of deaths in the area of similar young women who have been drained of their blood?
If a horror movie could be considered art, Daughters of Darkness would certainly qualify. Almost every scene is like a painting - surreal, lovely, and haunting at the same time. Even the people, especially the mesmerizing Delphine Seyrig as the Countess, look and seem like they've just stepped out of a painting. Seldom do you see a character like the one played by Seyrig that seems so at home in her surroundings. She is amazing to watch.
The movie is very slow moving. I could see many fans of modern cinema being put off by the pace. Don't expect any of the modern MTV style editing or explosions every five minutes. This movie takes its sweet time moving the plot along. But for those who stick with it, you'll be rewarded by one of the most intriguing vampire films ever produced. The slow pace and isolated locations only add to what is surely one of the most atmospheric films I've seen.
While watching the movie, I couldn't help but be reminded of George Romero's Martin. Like Martin, there is a certain ambiguity to the vampires in Daughters of Darkness. There's no doubt they drink blood, but does this make them vampires? They are certainly not the fanged, super-humans as portrayed in most Hollywood films. Like Martin, they need external assistance to get the blood that they need (or at least think they need).
8/10
Nothing to Recommend, 8 April 2005
Let me start by saying that I understand that Invasion of the Star Creatures was meant to be a parody of the sci-fi films of the 50s. I understand that none of it is to be taken seriously. The problem I have is that none of it works. A parody should be funny and this one just isn't. Not once during the entire runtime did I so much as crack a smile. In general, I am easily entertained, but I couldn't find a sliver of entertainment anywhere in Invasion of the Star Creatures.
I knew I was in trouble right from the beginning. The two "stars" make their screen appearance with one of the lamest gags imaginable - a water hose they can't control that gets them both wet. These two come off as Bowery Boys wannabes. Why anyone would want to mime the act and persona of the Bowery Boys is beyond me. After the less than illustrious beginning, the movies goes on to feature comical chase sequences, dancing Indians, vegetable men, decoder rings, and other assorted unfunny bits. It's all just a complete waste of time.
I bought this on the double feature DVD with Invasion of the Bee Girls. That movie is Academy Award winning stuff in comparison with Invasion of the Star Creatures.
2/10
Hit and Miss Columbo, 7 April 2005
As you may, or may not, know, giving away the killer's identity in a Columbo movie is not a spoiler. You discover who the killer is ten minutes into the movie. In this episode, an aging star (Anne Baxter) feels like she's in a desperate situation. Her secretary for 18 years is leaving her to marry a reporter who has dirt on her. She's afraid that the secretary may reveal even more about her personal life. She does the only thing she can come up with to get out of the situation. She goes to the reporter's house and pours gasoline in the garage. Just as his car enter, she strikes a match and . . . well you get the picture.
I've seen a lot of Columbo's movies and this one has its strong points and its weak points. I really enjoyed the mystery in this one. There's really more to it than initially meets the eye. I found the story to be very engaging. It's definitely one of the deeper Columbo movies I've seen so far. In most of these movies, Columbo spots the killer right off the bat and hounds them until they crack. Because of the complexities of the case, Columbo picks the wrong suspect. It's a nice change of pace.
The weak points - Columbo himself. In a lot of these movies, you'll see Columbo gush over a suspect, but it's usually to get information. Here, he seems genuinely star-struck by Anne Baxter. That's not Columbo! He's always under control and using everything to his advantage. Usually, every little movement he makes, no matter how insignificant it may seem, is all part of his grand scheme to catch the killer. Not here. We get to see Columbo act like a fool and for no real reason whatever.
6/10
- La casa nel tempo
Surprisingly Good, 7 April 2005
A group of three unprofessionals attempt to rob the house of an elderly couple. It's an isolated place full of expensive items such as a large collection of clocks. The robbery goes all wrong and the old couple are each hit with a shotgun blast. One of the robbers notices that immediately following the couple's deaths, all of the clocks in the house have stopped. What none of them realizes is that the clocks begin to run backwards. Before the robbers realize what's happening, the clocks have turned back time and brought the couple back to life.
Almost every review I've read on the internet seems to trash this movie. I don't get it. Other than Fulci's Don't Torture a Duckling and A Lizard in Woman's Skin, this is the best I've seen of his movies. The movie plays a bit like Twilight Zone meets Fulci. The story is original and innovative. Being Fulci, there is a certain amount of gore to be found (for example, an endless stream of entrails pouring from the maids stomach after she's been stabbed with a sharpened stick), but it never goes over-the-top. I found more tension here than in most of Fulci's films. Most of his work seems to be based on how to gross-out an audience. Here, he lets the story take center stage.
A lot of the reviews I've read complain about the ending. I'll not give it away, I'll just say that it has a nice irony to me that I found satisfying. The three robbers are, after all, bad people. It's only fitting that they should not get away.
The House of Clocks was apparently an Italian made-for-TV movie. They certainly don't make TV movies like this in America.
7/10
Trashy Fun, 6 April 2005
Wilma McClatchie (Angie Dickinson) wants more for her two daughters than depression era Texas can provide. With no money to speak of they set off for California to find their fortunes. Along the way, they rob a bank, pick up a bank robber, mug a preacher, steal the take from a racetrack, take on a penniless drifter from Kentucky, kidnap an heiress, and kill a few people. It's just an ordinary cross-county trip.
This is one of my favorite of the Roger Corman produced movies. I realize that it's basically trash, but what fun trash it is. Around every turn there's a robbery, a car chase, a gun fight, or someone having sex. These people are ruthless and will do whatever it takes to get the money they desire. Amid the violence, though, the movie is not without it's moments of comedy. The opening wedding service is simply sublime. I actually found myself laughing out loud.
The cast that Corman was able to assemble rivals that of the best movies from the 70s. Angie Dickinson, William Shatner, Tom Skerritt, and Dick Miller are wonderfully cast. But my personal favorite is Susan Sennett, playing one of the daughters. As far as I'm concerned, she steals every scene in which she appears. It's a shame she didn't make more movies.
7/10
Very Disappointing, 6 April 2005
The Monster Club is a three story anthology held together by Vincent Price and John Carradine. The first story is about a wealthy, pale faced creature with few friends who falls in love with the hired help. She turns him down and must face the consequences. The second story is about a modern day vampire hiding out from modern day vampire hunters. The third story concerns a town of the beaten path inhabited by nothing but ghouls.
Story 1 - 5/10 - It's not bad, just very predictable. With better writing, this story could make an entertaining feature length film on its own. I found the pale-faced creature to be unique and interesting.
Story 2 - 1/10 - What utter garbage. The story goes for laughs and fails at every opportunity. All of the humor is incredible obvious and, as such, I found it insulting. It's a shame that a talent like Donald Pleasence and Britt Ekland were wasted on drivel like this.
Story 3 - 6/10 - Easily the best and most chilling of the stories. While the ghouls are not particularly scary looking, the continued and relentless attacks are effective scenes. The ending is a good piece of irony.
The In-Between Bits - 1/10 - How embarrassing for Price and Carradine to be stuck in a mess like this. You can buy better looking monster masks at Wal Mart. The music that played between each story was especially rancid.
Take the four rating, add them together, and divide by 4. The result - 3/10.
3/10
- La decima vittima
Worth a look, 4 April 2005
In the future, murder is legal – as long as you follow the rules. Killers and victims compete against one another for cash prizes. Once you have survived being either a killer or victim ten times, you win $1 million. The trouble arises when the pair fall in love.
Marcello Mastroianni and Ursila Andress star as a killer and victim pitted against one another. I've never thought much of Andress as an actress and this movie does nothing to change that opinion.
The most memorable scene is the first kill of the movie. An unknown killer chases Andress into some sort of nightclub/restaurant. When he enters, he doesn't recognize her because she is performing in a costume with a different hair color. As she dances in front of the killer, she lets loose with the machine gun bikini top. As Austin Powers would say, Machine Gun Jomblies.
7/10
- Rote Lippen, Sadisterotica
With better dubbing, this might be a good film, 4 April 2005
Two female detectives are hired to find a missing woman. They soon discover that their missing woman is only one of many models and dancers who have vanished. The trail leads to an artist who paints and sculpts women at the time of their deaths. His work is eerily reminiscent of the woman they're looking for.
Two Undercover Angels appears to have been an attempt by Franco to cash-in on the success of James Bond and other spy movies of the 60s. While this was the first "Red Lips" movie that Franco made, I unfortunately saw the sequel, Kiss Me Monster, first. Two Undercover Angels is miles ahead of the sequel by having something of an understandable plot (I would argue that the second in the series had no plot), acting, sets, and every other way imaginable. A lot of the jokes (this is a spoof after all) work in this movie.
While this movie may be better than it's successor, that's not to say it's a particularly good movie. Part of the problem, unfortunately, comes from the dubbing. I'm not one to complain about dubbing, but this may be the worst I've heard. It's hardly the fault of Franco or anyone else involved in making the movie, but it's still a distraction. The bad dubbing may be partially responsible for the confusion I had from time-to-time following the plot. But Franco's style of storytelling doesn't help much either. He introduces new characters on a regular basis that add little or nothing to the proceeding but to confuse the issue. As soon as you think you've gotten a handle on a new character, they disappear never to be seen again.
The two detectives mentioned in the title are played by Janine Reynaud and Rosanna Yanni. At least from appearances, they appear to be having a good time with their roles. There is a sense of humor and ease with which they work together that helps to make-up for some of the movie's shortcomings.
If someone were to ask me for a good place to begin discovering Franco, this is not where I would advise them to begin. Seek out Venus in Furs or The Diabolical Doctor Z for a place to start with Franco.
5/10
