What a hat!, 18 April 2017
And I thought Valley of the Gwangi was the only Cowboy/Dinosaur movie out there - WRONG! Thanks to the new MST3K, I was able to catch The Beast of Hollow Mountain – a first time viewing for me. In this one, American rancher Jimmy Ryan (Guy Madison) and partner Felipe Sanchez (Carlos Rivas) are working cattle on their ranch in Mexico. When their cattle begin disappearing, Jimmy and Felipe suspect that either (a) the cattle are disappearing in the nearby swamp surrounding Hollow Mountain or (b) the cattle are being taken by Jimmy's nemesis, Enrique Rios (Eduardo Noriega). Rios is jealous because Jimmy has eyes for his fiancé, Sarita (Patricia Medina). As it turns out, neither is the true answer of what is happening to the cattle. Instead, Hollow Mountain has more than a dangerous swamp to fear. There's also the titular Beast – a giant Allosaurus.
It's not great, but as my rating indicates, The Beast of Hollow Mountain isn't all that bad either. It's hard not to compare the movie with Valley of the Gwangi. Both have cowboys, horses, and dinosaurs. I may need to revisit Gwangi because, despite the rating I gave it, I remember enjoying it a bit more than this movie. As for what I like about The Beast of Hollow Mountain, it's a great looking movie. The widescreen shots are often stunning. The cinematography really shines. The acting, while not Academy Award level, is more than competent. The actors give what I would call very earnest performances. I especially enjoyed the work of Carlos Rivas. He was also a standout in The Black Scorpion. The stop motion dinosaur work is also competent for this kind of movie, especially when you consider the budgetary limitations they were working with. It's not seamless and wouldn't stand up to today's CGI, but I enjoyed it. Finally, there's that sombrero worn by Felipe. What a hat! They needed a widescreen format just to get it completely in frame. I want that hat!
On the negative side, I'll just mention two things. First, the film takes an eternity to get to the dinosaur. The movie is at least 2/3 over before there's even a hint that there might be something else going on with the cattle. Second, while I enjoyed the stop motion Allosaurus, the close up of the feet was ridiculous. The dinosaur feet looked more like some house shoes my son might wear. Totally unbelievable.
5/10
A disaster of a disaster movie, 17 April 2017
My standard disclosure, even though I've watched Avalanche what seems like a million years ago, I rewatched it this week courtesy of the new MST3K. I've always prided myself in my ability to separate MST3K from the movie being presented and not let the jokes cloud my judgment of the movie. In this instance, it hardly matters because Avalanche is just plain old bad regardless of what format you're watching it in.
Why is Avalanche so bad? For a movie that is supposed to be about a ski resort buried under (as they tagline puts it) "Six Million Tons of Icy Terror", it's really more about the failed relationship of the ski resort's owner and his wife. Rock Hudson and Mia Farrow play the troubled couple. The problem is they have zero in the way of on- screen chemistry. I'm not sure of a married couple in the history of film that has less chemistry than these two. Their whole relationship feels fake and phony. And it doesn't help anything that three quarters of the film centers around Hudson trying to reignite his relationship with Farrow. It's just pathetic. Beyond the problems with the big name leads, the movie has other issues. Chief among them is a string of nameless, faceless characters that are presented in rapid fashion style that I didn't know or care about. Though I didn't know them, most seemed so annoying I was rooting for them to die. This most likely wasn't the filmmakers were going for. Add to that some poor special effects, ridiculous dialogue, and alcoholism as the punch line to most of the film's jokes and you've got a stinker.
I know Producer Roger Corman was trying to cash-in on the 1970s era disaster movie craze. But the budgetary limitations put on the movie by Corman's New World Pictures proved to be the real disaster. Well, that and the Hudson/Farrow relationship debacle.
3/10
"Well, it's deep enough. What do you want - a lovely liver?", 17 April 2017
Four scientists use a device they've created to view future events to actually travel into the future. They visit an almost barren Earth in the year 2071. Escaping mutants on the surface, The Time Travelers find themselves in a cave where they meet a small group of survivors working on a spacecraft to take them to a new world. They're running short on time, so our heroes agree to help. Before the ship can take off, however, there is growing resentment between the future humans and The Time Travelers. The mutants eventually break through and destroy everything. Our heroes, with a small band of future humans, try to escape back through the time portal.
Let me begin with what is quickly becoming a standard disclosure – I watched The Time Travelers courtesy of the new MST3K. This was a first time viewing for me. I've always prided myself in my ability to separate MST3K from the movie being presented and not let the jokes cloud my judgment of the movie. In this case, I really enjoyed The Time Travelers. It seemed smarter than your average early 1960s era B Sci-Fi film. I liked the idea of the time viewer and they manner it was used to travel in to the future. It's a little different from the standard spaceship that goes off course and ends up years in the future. The special effects, though cheap, were more than adequate. Director Ib Melchior keeps things moving at a brisk pace. The acting in The Time Travelers is especially strong given the film's budgetary limitations. The cast, featuring Preston Foster, Merry Anders, Dennis Patrick, John Hoyt, and Joan Woodbury, is good. Even the comic relief, Steve Franken, isn't as annoying as you'll find in a lot of these films.
A lot of the film, however, felt familiar to me. Whether it's Queen of Outer Space, Missile to the Moon, Phantom Planet, or a half dozen other movies I can think of, the notion of an advanced civilization living and sometimes working on an escape plan from beneath the surface while constantly being attacked by monsters or mutants was a common theme in 50s/60s Sci-Fi. I suppose that part of the reason was budgetary, but it does give these movies a tight, confined feeling that usually works. Some of these movies are better than others and The Time Travelers is on the positive side of this scale. A strong 6/10 from me.
6/10
The definition of disjointed, 16 April 2017
Upfront, I feel I need to say that I had never seen Cry Wilderness until it appeared in one of episodes of new MST3K. Regardless, I will be as objective as possible. I'm not one of those who thinks a movie is necessarily bad for appearing on MST3K. Some of the films on the show are actually very good and enjoyable on their own. Unfortunately, Cry Wilderness isn't one of them.
In short, Cry Wilderness is a mess of a movie. What little plot there is concerns an annoying little boy who receives a warning from Bigfoot that his father is in danger. This thin thread of a plot doesn't really hold the film together, however. The movie consists of a series of unrelated scenes haphazardly put together. The acting ranges from bad to downright atrocious. Continuity is non- existent. Characters go from one location to a completely different location in seconds. The mystical hokum of the old Native American and his band of animals is ridiculously presented. And Bigfoot is a disaster. The costume isn't even complete. On the positive side, there are some nice animal-in- nature type shots, but that's about it. Overall, a lowly 2/10 from me.
2/10
"If Reptilicus is hit, you'll never find all the pieces underwater. He'll regenerate, Mark!", 15 April 2017
Part of the frozen tail of an unknown creature is discovered and sent to a lab for study. By mistake, the tail is allowed to thaw and it begins to regenerate the rest of the creature. During a freak thunderstorm, the regeneration process is sped up and the creature, now called Reptilicus, escapes and wrecks havoc on Copenhagen. The military has its hands tied in dealing with the creature - if they blow it up, they risk creating a new Reptilicus for each of the many pieces.
I hadn't seen Reptilicus in at least 20 years, but thanks to the new MST3K, I rewatched it last night. What a fun/bad movie! The fun parts are watching a Danish take on the rampaging monster made famous by Godzilla. The scientists are appropriately serious and speak in a lot of sci-fi mumbo-jumbo. The women in the cast are just there with nothing much to do. And there seems to always be a clever reporter or two on hand. But the best of the cast is without a doubt General Mark Garyson. He's so over-the-top, it's very often laugh-out-loud funny. He spits lines like nails and chews scenery with the best of them. Whoever did the dubbing should have won award. Great stuff! The constant change in sweat patterns, jacket and helmet on/off, and his style of close talking are a real hoot.
Reptilicus is no Godzilla (or even Gorgo, for that matter) and is super-cheesy and cheap. The shots of the monster never really fit with the rest of the film. And that green slime is ridiculous looking. It was so obviously added in post production and has a definite cartoon look to it. Finally, the monster's neck looks so flimsy there is no way it could ever knock over a balsa structure, let alone a brick building.
Despite any weakness, the movie is still a fun watch. As a piece of entertainment, it works fairly well. Given the good and the bad, I call this one about average. A 5/10 from me.
5/10
"This job is more like rounding up sheep than grooming young ladies.", 15 April 2017
Phryne has taken the unenviable task of teaching her ward, Jane, and a group of similarly rowdy girls some lessons in etiquette for the quickly approaching annual Flower Parade. However, when one of her students turns up dead, lessons in manners hardly seem important. The coroner's report not only gives the cause of death, but provides a motive for murder as well. Phyrne is determined to see a killer brought to justice.
As with Away with the Fairies, this is a good episode, but not the best. The killer in Queen of the Flowers is a little too obvious once all the characters are introduced. While the blame is at first placed in the wrong direction, it becomes all too clear who the real killer is. I know I sound like I'm contradicting myself – one episode hides information and one episode makes information too available. It's a fine line to walk and some of the Miss Fisher episodes do it perfectly. Still, even knowing the killer's identity, it's fun to watch Phryne in action. Also, I don't know if I say this enough, but the show is just stunning to look at – costuming, lighting, sets, and everything else are amazing. Finally, the second storyline featuring Jane and her real mother was heartbreaking. I'm glad things turned out as they did. Overall, a 7/10 from me.
7/10
Kept me guessing, 15 April 2017
Phryne investigates the mysterious death of the editor of a women's magazine, Women's Choice. The editor also secretly acted as they magazine's advice communist. Could the woman's death have something to do with bad advice she dispensed? Or was there another motive behind the murder?
Not the best, but overall, Away with the Fairies is another strong episode. I suppose that what I liked best was the multiple suspects Phryne had to deal with and their stories that didn't always coincide with each other. The "who done it" kept me guessing (incorrectly) right up to the very end. I don't care for mystery stories that throw in a vital clue at the last minute where the reader or viewer would have had no way of knowing the information. It's a cheat. And Away with the Fairies is guilty of it and that keeps me from rating it higher. The end result, however, is very satisfying with Phyrne accusing the killer and various suspects arguing with each other. It's quite a scene.
I'm hoping that Away with the Fairies will be the end of Mr Lin Chung for quite a while. I never cared for his and Phryne's relationship and I hope he's gone for good. There's just something about the guy that rubs me the wrong way.
7/10
