Catwoman (2004)

"Meow.", 27 December 2017

Patience Phillips (Halle Berry) is a meek, mild-mannered woman working in the advertising department of a cosmetics firm. One night, she sees and overhears something she wasn't meant to. The company's new line causes horrible scarring after extended use. Patience is killed because of what she learned. However, she is brought back to life by an Egyptian cat and granted many cat-like powers. She decides to use these powers to discover who killed her and put a stop to the company she once worked for.

I knew of Catwoman's horrible reputation, but didn't really believe it could be that bad. I mean, squeezing the gorgeous Halle Berry into skin-tight leather should set you up for some thrills. Unfortunately, there's not a costume on Earth that could have saved this mess of a movie. Almost everything (the lone exception being some scenes with Halle Berry and Benjamin Bratt - I enjoyed the chemistry) is a disaster. The plot is paper thin, the baddies are weak, the acting is poor, the attempts at comedy are cringey, and the dialogue is silly. But as bad as all that is, nothing compares with the wretched special effects. I thought the CG cat looked horrible (and why use a CG cat anyway?), but then i saw the CG Halle Berry. I'm sure a small fortune was spent on these effects. What a waste! The shots of Adam West "climbing" buildings in the 1960s-era Batman TV show are more believable. It's just pathetic.

2/10