Jurassic Park III (2001)

“I rescued your hat.”  7 May 2020

With the promise of badly needed funding for his research, Dr. Alan Grant agrees to act as a sightseeing guide in a fly over of Isla Sorna.  But the couple who’ve hired Dr. Grant haven’t told him the whole truth.  Their plan involves more than just a bird’s-eye view of the island.  Before he realizes he’s been tricked, Dr. Grant finds himself once again fighting for his life in a world where dinosaurs rule.

As I think about the things I like and dislike about Jurassic Park III (JPIII for the rest of this), the dislike list is much easier to put together.  There are so many things one could pick at in JPIII that I could probably write pages.  The laundry list would go something like this: 1. The notion that young Billy could survive on the island alone for 8 weeks, yet we’ve seen trained mercenaries and survivalists that don’t last an afternoon.  2. A talking raptor.  3. The idea that the supposedly intelligent, but vicious raptors would so easily fall for a simple trick and not just rip the heads off the humans. 4. That idiotic ringing satellite phone.  5. Set-pieces strung together without much connecting them.  6. Anyone who for a second would believe that Michael Jeter’s character is what he claims to be.  7. Not enough Laura Dern.  8. All the insipid melodrama involving Billy’s parents.  9. Cringe-inducing dialogue.  10. That way over-the-top and completely ridiculous ending.  

As I stated previously, there are things about JPIII that I like.  Here’s that list:  1. It’s a big, dumb action movie with plenty of dinosaurs, including the new Pteredons.  2.  Well . . . uh . . . that’s about it.    

To be fair, though, any sequel to the original Jurassic Park was going to have a tough time in comparison.  That film is near perfect.  So, in the end, even though my list of what I dislike about JPIII is much longer than my list of what I like, I think the 5/10 rating is about right.  Despite the many faults, there’s still some degree of entertainment to be had..

5/10