Redneck (1973)

- Senza ragione
A real disappointment, 7 September 2009

Definitely not your typical Polizia, Redneck just never worked for me. The movie tells the story of a jewel heist gone wrong and a young boy who is inadvertently kidnapped in the process. In their attempt to get away, the robbers leave a bloody trail of death in their wake as they hatch a plan to ransom the boy. The plan is never carried off as the robbers are more intent on getting to France and the boy is intent on staying with them. While I could cite a number of problems I had with the movie, I'll focus on the most obvious – the character Memphis played by Telly Savalas. From his work in The Dirty Dozen and Kelley's Heroes to other Italian films like Crime Boss to his most remembered role as Kojak, Savalas was a winner. I've always thought of him as one uber-cool customer. Unfortunately, Savalas is almost unwatchable in Redneck. Did the director turn on the camera and instruct him to act as psychotic as possible? It might not have been too bad had his actions been done within the context of a plot I cared about, but here he seems to be acting bizarre for sake of being bizarre. It's appears to be random lunacy. And what's with that accent? Savalas might have been a lot of things, but Southern isn't one of them. He sounds completely ridiculous even attempting the accent. Beyond that, I found little of interest in the rest of the movie. As I indicated, the plot never drew me in. I just didn't care about what was going on. And the notion that the boy is so quickly attracted to the criminal lifestyle doesn't ring true. As for the other actors, Mark Lester is almost as bad as Savalas and the usually reliable Franco Nero isn't a whole lot better. Three "name" actors and not a good performance between them. To make matters worse, I believe the director filmed many of the night scenes with nothing more than the glow from his watch to light the shots. I couldn't tell what was going on. Characters I hate, a plot I don't care about, and a production values that failed – little wonder I've given Redneck a 3/10.

3/10

The Deadly and the Beautiful (1973)

- Wonder Women
"Lady, aren't you a little tired of playing God?", 6 September 2009

Dr. Tsu (Nancy Kwan) has set up a secret research facility on an island where she has mastered various transplant techniques. She boasts she can transplant any part of the body – yes, that's right, ANY part. For a hefty sum of money, she offers the wealthy a chance for immortality by placing their brains into the body of a young, virile athlete. Her island fortress is guarded by an army of beautiful, but deadly women who also work to procure the doctor her healthy subjects. Her latest acquisition, a local jai-alai player, unwittingly draws the interest of an insurance investigator from Lloyd's of London who had a policy on the young man. In turn, he hires former CIA agent Mike Harber (Ross Hagen) to investigate. Before you can say "Ross Hagen produced this thing so you know he's going to come out looking good in the end", Harber is taken prisoner by Dr. Tsu and given the long, overly drawn out explanation of her work and her plans. In the end, Harber's powers of seduction have been enough to turn one of the women against Dr. Tsu and he escapes with the jai-alai player. The end.

What a wild piece of 70s trash! While not good in any traditional sense, that's never stopped me from enjoying a movie. There are, however, three things you ought to know before watching The Deadly and the Beautiful (or Wonder Women as it's sometimes known): it's a cheaply made Filipino film, it's got a gaggle of scantily clad beauties, and it was produced by and stars Ross Hagen. The cheap/Filipino thing doesn't really bother me. It's probably part of what makes the movie so unique. And you've just got to love the 70s porn-inspired soundtrack. Too funny. The gaggle of scantily clad beauties – I'm not going to complain about that either. Though I must admit I did laugh out loud watching the army of women with every weapon imaginable set out into the jungle wearing what amounted to the most inappropriately imaginable short chiffon mini-nightgowns. I don't think nighties are standard issue for any other army in the world. And their style of hand-to-hand combat must be seen to be believed. I've heard of all sorts of styles or martial arts fighting, but nothing quite describes the gyrations performed by Roberta Collins. Finally, I'm left with Ross Hagen. The man just has a way of turning my stomach. He reminds me a bit of a B-movie version of Chad Everett with none of the acting ability. He spends the entire movie either looking half-asleep and disinterested or ogling the women he's supposed to be fighting. There is one brief scene with Hagen that's an absolute scream. He's following the Dr. Tsu down a staircase in what can only be described as full-on flounce mode. You know, ridiculous expression on his face, arms bent at the elbow and wrist, and legs doing sort of a trot – looks a bit like he's auditioning for a part in the Village People. Too funny. And then there's the scene where Ross gets to do something called "brain sex" with Nancy Kwan. Just about lost my lunch watching Ross' faux-orgasmic squirm on that vinyl seat. Yuck!

Oh yes, as for the movie – it is what it is – a cheap piece of 70s exploitation junk that's worth a watch if you're into that sort of thing. For me, I had a great time with it. It was also cool to see Sid Haig in a different sort of role (I just realized that I have no idea what happened to his character). For all the wrong reasons, I'll give The Deadly and the Beautiful a 7/10.

7/10

Live and Let Die (1973)

"Hey man, for twenty bucks I'd take you to a Ku Klux Klan cookout!", 31 August 2009

I've read all the reviews from Bond fans enumerating their many problems with Live and Let Die, but I'm sorry, I don't agree. To me, James Bond has always been about having fun. Yeah, like most people, I prefer the earlier films. But for pure unadulterated, sugar-coated fun, it's hard to beat something like Live and Let Die. These films were never meant to be brain surgery anyway. Some of the highlights for me include: the voodoo ceremonies and Baron Samedi (played by the wonderful Geoffrey Holder), the New Orleans funeral procession and band, Jane Seymour, one of the best boat chase scenes ever put on film, the funky 70's feel and the Blaxploitation meets James Bond vibe, Paul McCartney's title song, the Filet of Soul, a couple of really underrated henchmen in Tee Hee and Whisper, and a truly effective performance from the amazing Yaphet Kotto. Unlike a lot of other Bond fans, not only do I not rate Live and Let Die near the bottom of my list of favorites, I've got it near the top. It's an entertaining, action-filled, good time.

On to Roger Moore – while I prefer Connery, Moore is more than capable in the role of James Bond, especially in 1973 when he was still young enough to pull it off. He gets a lot of criticism (some from me) about the direction the character and the films took during his time in the role. But when I think about it logically, the groan-inducing quips and the lame attempts at comedy should be blamed on the producers, directors, writers, and editors – i.e. the people with the power. I've got no complaints with Moore in Live and Let Die.

Finally, if I have one negative to mention in regards to Live and Let Die, it's with Sheriff Pepper. He's a one note character whose shtick gets old real quick. The fact that the producers saw fit to bring him back in another James Bond film (instead of the original idea of brining back Baron Samedi) is jaw-dropping in its idiocy. Clifton James may have been fine performer, but Sheriff Pepper is a grating character that wears out his welcome within the first minute of appearing on screen.

8/10

Death Carries a Cane (1973)

- Passi di danza su una lama di rasoio
Unoriginal and uninspired, 19 August 2009

While waiting for her husband to pick her up in a park, Kitty (Susan Scott) accidentally looks through a telescope just in time to see a woman brutally murdered. She doesn't see the murderer's face, but she is able to tell the police that the assailant was carrying a cane. In short order, another possible witness, a man who owns a chestnut cart, is murdered. The police initially suspect Kitty's husband, Alberto, who has mysteriously sprained an ankle. Even though the suspicions against the husband fall away, Kitty and Alberto are nonetheless drawn into the investigation.

Death Carries a Cane is a terrific example of what I'd call a "lesser" Giallo. The whole thing seems so unoriginal and uninspired that at times it can be a chore to watch. I had to wake myself at least three times the night I sat down to watch. Like many Gialli, the plot is convoluted, but in this case it's a mess – even after the final reveal. Usually, I have fun trying to follow the many ins and outs of the plot. Not here. It just bored me to tears. Like many Gialli, Death Carries a Cane features a variety of red herrings. But most are so obvious and ridiculous that they're hard to take seriously. For example, I've never seen so many characters carrying canes or walking with limps for no other purpose than to throw suspicion their way. Death Carries a Can even includes twins. Yes, twins! What a terribly tired old plot device. It's just lazy writing. Another perfect example of the problems with the plot comes near the end. In this kind of movie, it's always easier to kill a character if they're separated from the other characters. Two times it the film's last 15 minutes, Kitty's character splits from the rest to go to the bathroom. Yes, Kitty's weak bladder becomes a plot device. How stupid is that! And there are other problems besides the plot. Gialli are known for their visual flair and interesting look. Not here. Like the plot, the cinematography can also best be described as generally uninspired. It's dull looking. Finally, if it weren't for Edwige Fenech, Susan Scott could probably be considered the Queen of the Giallo. She's so underutilized in Death Carries a Cane that it ought to have been a crime. She disappears for a large chunk of the movie. And no offense meant to the other cast members, but none are anywhere near as interesting as she is. To be fair, Death Carries a Cane does feature a few interesting murder scenes, but these are too few and far between to really save the movie. Any other positives are hard to come by. This is one Giallo I wished I'd skipped.

3/10

Enter the Dragon (1973)

"Don't think. FEEL. It's like a finger pointing at the moon.", 28 July 2009

You can debate the most iconic figures in a lot of movie genres, but I doubt anyone would argue Bruce Lee's place at the top of the heap of Martial Arts films. There are movie fans out there who wouldn't know Sonny Chiba, Bolo Yeung, Gordon Liu, or even Jet Li if they walked up and smacked 'em in the face, but more than 35 years after his death, they recognize Bruce Lee. The man was simply incredible! It's a real shame he died shortly after completing Enter the Dragon because the movie offers the promise of so much to come that was unfortunately never realized.

Bruce Lee (cleverly named Lee) is recruited by the government to attend a martial arts tournament on an island owned by a man named Han. The government suspects Han of any number of illegal activities (drugs, slavery, etc), but they need Lee to find the evidence. Lee's desire to get Han takes a personal turn when he discovers that Han's men were responsible for the death of his sister.

I'm really at a loss to come up with anything original to write about Enter the Dragon that hasn't already been said a thousand times. In short, it's one awesome butt-kicking movie from the word go. Watching Bruce Lee (even in choreographed movie fights) in his prime is simply amazing. The man was like poetry in motion. The use of his body as a weapon and the controlled violence he displays are like nothing else I've ever seen. He takes Enter the Dragon from an average martial arts movie with a fairly predictable plot and makes it something for the ages. I should also give some of the credit to the supporting cast. John Saxon, Jim Kelly, Kien Shih, and the rest are more than capable in their roles. The island fortress set, the special effects, the location shots, and everything else you can name in Enter the Dragon are as good as you'll find in a genre film. I've got no hesitation in rating Enter the Dragon a 9/10.

9/10

Stranded in Space (1973) (TV)

- The Stranger
It's not hard to see why this one didn't make the network lineup, 10 May 2009

A malfunction in space sends astronaut Neil Stryker (Glenn Corbett) off course and headed to something of a parallel world, called Terra, circling the sun exactly opposite Earth. As a being from space would pose a threat to this world's order, Stryker is held until a determination can be made as to exactly what to do with him. Stryker, however, gets suspicious of his surroundings and escapes. With the help of a sympathetic nurse and a old scientist who opposes the government, Stryker will try to board a spaceship and head back to Earth.

Stranded in Space (or The Stranger if you prefer) is another of those 70s made-for-TV movies that was to be turned into a regular, weekly show. In this case, it's easy to see why it didn't make it. First off, there's nothing new about the show's set-up. It was undoubtedly designed to follow the same formula used by The Fugitive or The Incredible Hulk or Planet of the Apes. You know, a stranger constantly on the move going from one town to the next taking whatever odd job he can all the while being pursued by a government agency or newspaper reporter. It's a formula that's been done to death. The second strike against Stranded in Space is its lead, Glenn Corbett. Could this guy come across any less likable? I was rooting for him to get caught. Without sympathy for the main character, this kind of show would never work. Finally, this is supposed to be science fiction. Just because everyone is left-handed and someone has hung three fake looking moons on the horizon I'm supposed to jump to the conclusion that this is some distant planet? So it's a mere coincidence that they all speak English, dress just like people on Earth, and drive Plymouth Furies? Yeah, right.

The lone highlight for me was the inclusion of Cameron Mitchell in the cast. Sure, it's difficult to watch him in something this dreadful, but you know the old saying - any Cameron is better than no Cameron (yeah, I've never heard it either).

As with a lot of these 70s made-for-TV movies, I watched Stranded in Space courtesy of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I wouldn't call it a great episode by any stretch of the imagination, but there are a few good jokes along the way. So in the end, while I rate the movie a 2/10, it gets a 3/5 on my MST3K rating scale.

2/10

The Exorcist (1973)

"Keep away. The sow is mine.", 15 November 2008

I'll keep this brief - most every horror fan has seen The Exorcist and all of them have an opinion of it. While many people would most certainly list The Exorcist as THE scariest movie ever made, there seems to be a growing number of fans who find humor where it was not intended. I don't get it. Maybe it's a generational thing, but The Exorcist remains as effective today as it was in 1973. If the story of a young, helpless girl being turned into a snarling creature isn't horror enough, add to that the desecration of sacred religious symbols and you've got something quite shocking. Beyond the story, the strong performances by a good cast really help put The Exorcist over the top. Max von Sydow was never better. And the performance of an incredibly young and inexperienced Linda Blair is nothing short of remarkable. Add to that the excellent lighting, sound, cinematography, and special effects, and you've got not just a scary movie, but a very well made movie as well.

8/10

The Neptune Factor (1973)

There's nothing much more frightening than the sight of a ludicrously large Nemo., 29 April 2008

For a movie about a race against the clock to rescue a group of scientists trapped in an undersea research facility that's been hit by an earthquake, The Neptune Factor is incredibly dull. The problem is that for most of the movie, nothing happens. Ernest Borgnine (who I'll give a little credit as he does his best with this snoozer of a script), Ben Gazzara, and company spend most of the movie on a slow motion tour of the ocean floor looking for their missing colleagues. Garzzara is the worst, showing the same kind of emotion usually reserved for everyday, mundane tasks like doing the laundry or grocery shopping. You'd hardly know from his demeanor that the lives of three people rest in his hands. And when something does finally happen the special effects are so ridiculous looking that the movie losses any credibility it might have had. The "giant" sea creatures the rescuers run into are little more than normal salt water aquarium fish filmed with a zoom lens and a bad looking miniature of the submarine. That's right – The Neptune Factor looks like it was filmed in someone's home aquarium. A giant clown fish – oooooh, how scary! There's nothing much more frightening than the sight of a ludicrously large Nemo.

To say I was disappointed by The Neptune Factor would be a gross understatement. A good cast is put to waste with nothing to do. In the end, I've got to rate this one a 2/10.

2/10

That Man Bolt (1973)

An odd mix of blaxploitation, martial arts, and espionage/spy thriller, 13 March 2008

Jefferson Bolt (Fred Williamson) is a courier hired to take $1 million from Hong Kong to Mexico City via Los Angeles. Upon arriving in Los Angeles, however, Bolt quickly realizes he's been double-crossed. After a friend is killed and Bolt learns the money he's been hired to carry may be counterfeit, Bolt heads back to Hong Kong to get revenge on those who set him up. But that will mean he'll have to face a crime boss named Kumada and his army of trained martial arts killers.

If nothing else, you've got to give the people responsible for That Man Bolt a little credit for trying something new. That Man Bolt is an odd mix of blaxploitation, martial arts, and espionage/spy thriller – and it almost works. The main problem is that the movie is about 20 minutes too long and the plot is so convoluted that it's impossible to follow or care about what's going on. One minute the money is counterfeit - then it's real - then it's counterfeit - then it's real . . . After a while, I stopped caring. Some judicious editing might have saved Bolt and turned it into something really special, because the movie had potential. Bolt is played by the always cool Fred Williamson. What he may lack in acting ability he makes up for by being the baddest dude around. The supporting cast isn't too shabby either. Teresa Graves and Byron Webster really stand out. Finally, the whole international jet-set feel of That Man Bolt really works. Locations as diverse as Macao and Las Vegas give the movie sort of a James Bond feel. Unfortunately, the unwieldy script keeps That Man Bolt from being anything better than average.

5/10

White Lightning (1973)

"I was born ready!", 11 March 2008

White Lightning is a terrific action/drama that tells the story of a hard-driving moonshiner named Gator McKlusky (Burt Reynolds) who is released from prison early in exchange for any help he can give the government with its case against his fellow moonshiners. Gator, however, has his own agenda and it has nothing to do with his altruistic nature. It seems that Sheriff J.C. Connors (Ned Beatty) of Bogen County is not only one of the biggest moonshiners in Arkansas, he's also responsible for killing Gator's brother. And Gator wants revenge.

One of the coolest things about White Lightning is that it presents Burt Reynolds as an actor at the top of his game. This was a Burt Reynolds who seemed to actually care about the final product and not just yucking it up with his buddies on screen. White Lightning was made before Burt became a clown, mugging for the camera. That's not to say there isn't any humor in White Lightning – it's just used judiciously. Burt is joined by phenomenal cast. In addition to Ned Beatty (who's perfect as the Sheriff), R.G. Armstrong, Bo Hopkins, Diane Lane, and Dabbs Greer give solid, memorable performances. In fact, I can't think of a single actor that bothered me. The movie was helped tremendously by the decision to film in rural Arkansas. I grew-up in the South and everything from the locations to the sweat dripping off Burt's chin had a feeling of authenticity. I've been to places like the old Kroger I spotted in the background and I sweat just like Burt in the oppressively hot Southern summers. It all felt real to me. Finally, the plot is just terrific, mixing in just the right amount of high speed car chases, brutal looking fight scenes, and dramatic conversations. It drew me in right from the start and held my attention throughout. Overall, it's a well-made, entertaining movie.

8/10

War Goddess (1973)

- Le guerriere dal seno nudo
The best movie about Amazons I've seen this week, 29 February 2008

I can't believe I've watched two Italian Amazon movies in one week. How much cheese can one person stand? Compared with Battle of the Amazons, however, War Goddess comes out the clear winner. I actually enjoyed the movie much more than I probably should have. War Goddess tells the story of the Amazons selecting a new Queen through competition. Once selected, the Amazons prepare themselves for their annual visit to a nearby army for the purposes of mating. Love with a man is forbidden – procreation is the only purpose for these visits. But the new Queen does fall in love and ends up risking her empire for the sake of a man.

I suppose I could go on and on pointing out the good and the bad of the acting, the fight scenes, technical aspects, the score, the decision not to take the subject matter too seriously, or any number of other things one generally discusses when writing a user comment. And while I actually found this movie above average in many respects (probably due to Terence Young's direction as much as anything), something tells me that's not the reason the average person sits down to watch War Goddess. As unbelievable as this may be, the real draw is . . . hold on . . . are you ready for it . . . NUDE AMAZON WRESTLING! Shocking, huh? Imagine that, the real attraction is a couple of well-built, nice-looking females engaged in NUDE AMAZON WRESTLING! War Goddess features two – that's right, two – very nice scenes of NUDE AMAZON WRESTLING! If that's not your thing (and I don't understand why it wouldn't be), the rest of the movie isn't that bad. But who cares when there's NUDE AMAZON WRESTLING!

6/10

Battle of the Amazons (1973)

- Le amazzoni - donne d'amore e di guerra
I think it was filmed through a layer of mud, 27 February 2008

I watched Battle of the Amazons only a few hours ago and I'm already having problems remembering many of the particulars about the movie. It wasn't necessarily as bad as some of the other movies I watch, just unmemorable. You'd think a movie about a band of Amazon warriors that raids a town to kidnap young men for sex slaves would standout more than that. But that's apparently not the case.

The movie follows the same plot line we've all seen any number of times. The Amazons raid a small village. Those left in the village fear the Amazons will be back. The villagers hire a band of outlaws to train them to fight. Of course it all leads to a climatic brawl where the villagers come out on top and, in the end, the outlaws redeem themselves and decide to stay on. Can anyone tell me where they've seen this before? Magnificent Seven maybe? How about Seven Samurai? As I indicated, it's been done to death.

Battle of the Amazons is a dreary looking affair. It's almost as if the director decided to film the movie through a layer of mud. The acting is generally abysmal. The lone exception is Lucretia Love (Is that a cool name or what?) who I've begun to notice recently in a few movies. By the way, I got a kick out of the fact that Love's character, Eraglia, was the only Amazon that brought back a female when they raided the village. The final fight scene is pretty much a letdown. I also found it humorous that the Amazons don masks for their climatic battle. This was done so that the females could be replaced by men in wigs. Did they think no one would notice that the shapely Amazons suddenly turned into beefy men? One highlight from Battle of the Amazons for me was the score. Although it would have been more at home in a Spaghetti Western, the music was quite nice.

4/10

Ricco (1973)

- The Mean Machine
Violent, trashy, exploitive, and a helluva lot of fun!, 26 February 2008

That sure was fun! Ricco (or The Mean Machine or whatever you want to call it) may not be the best, most dramatic, or grittiest Euro-crime film I've run across, but it is one of the most entertaining I've ever seen. Ricco (Christopher Mitchum) is a young man out for revenge. He's just finished serving a two year prison sentence for attacking the man he holds responsible for killing his father and assuming control of his criminal organization. And now that he's been released, Ricco discovers that Don Vito (Arthur Kennedy) has also taken his girl.

Let's get this out of the way up-front – Ricco has its fair share of obvious weaknesses and problems. Chief among them is Mitchum. He may look a lot like his father, but that's where the comparison ends. I'm guessing he was going for introspective and brooding, but unfortunately Mitchum comes off as vacant and robotic. His fight scenes are often hysterical. Watching him go through his kung-fu moves, I can just imagine the director off-screen giving him step-by-step instructions. I've never seen someone move so unnaturally.

But I've always said that I rate movies based on entertainment value and Ricco provides a good test of that statement. Looking past Mitchum's shortcomings, Ricco is wildly entertaining. It's a trashy good time. The movie has a feel to it that I found unique for this kind of movie. It never seems to be taking itself too seriously. I may be way off on this one, but to me it's as if the director, Tulio Demicheli, realized how absurd some of the situations were and just let everyone have fun with it. The plot is actually little more than the standard revenge theme, but it held my interest throughout. There's hardly ever a dull moment. Ricco has the violence I've come to expect from this kind of movie – including one particularly nasty scene that makes something like the cut-off ear in Django look like child's play. The supporting cast is top notch. Arthur Kennedy makes for a wonderfully slimy villain, complete with a ridiculous looking mustache. Ricco's old flame is played by the insanely gorgeous Malisa Longo. And genre favorite Barbara Bouchet's surreal stripper routine in the middle of the road is another of the film's highlights. What more could you ask for?

8/10

The Devil's Daughter (1973) (TV)

"Hail Diane - Princess of Darkness", 24 February 2008

After her mother's untimely and violent death, Diane Shaw (Belinda Montgomery) meets a woman named Lilith Malone (Shelley Winters) who claims to be one of her mother's old friends. Lilith invites Diane to stay with her for a while. At first things seem almost ideal, but a series of strange events soon puts a different spin on things. Diane decides to leave Lilith's house, but can't seem to escape her control. Is Lilith who and what she claims to be? Or is she the devil in disguise?

I just love watching Shelley Winters in a movie like this. Although she's in control most of the time, there's at least one scene where Winters loses it that's too much fun. I don't think her turn in The Devil's Daughter is anywhere near her best, but she always a joy. The rest of the cast is good. Jonathan Frid, Abe Vigoda, Diane Ladd, and Joseph Cotton are all good in their respective roles.

I also love these 1970s made-for-TV movies. As I wrote in a comment to another Movie of the Week, young people today would be surprised at how much we enjoyed watching these movies. And if it was horror or horror related, it was something we really looked forward to. Movies like Satan's School for Girls, Gargoyles, and The Night Stalker were the highlights of the television schedule. The Devil's Daughter is another fine example of made-for-TV horror. It's not the best of the bunch, but it is effectively creepy in spots. A few of the scenes, like the party Diane attends where she discovers her titular birthright, are eerily reminiscent of Rosemary's Baby. Overall, it's an enjoyable little film – not great by any stretch of the imagination – just enjoyable. I would rate it even higher if the screenplay weren't so predictable. I defy anyone who has seen more than a handful of horror to find many surprises in the plot. But even as predictable as the film's climax may be, it's still a trip to watch unfold.

7/10

Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)

- Gojira tai Megaro
Tag team monster action, 8 May 2007

The plot of a movie like Godzilla vs. Megalon hardly matters. The movie follows the same basic premise that most of these Toho monster mashes follow – A monster, for whatever reason, poses a threat to humanity. Godzilla is summoned from Monster Island to provide assistance in defeating the monster. The End. That's basically what you get here – Godzilla doing battle with Megalon with the fate of the world in the balance. Megalon, the giant beetle-like creature with giant rotating drill-like arms capable of spiting bombs, is joined by Gigan, a giant chicken-like creature with incredibly sharp talon-like arms. Fortunately for Godzilla (and all of mankind), he also has an ally – Jet Jaguar, a giant Ultraman style robot. It no-holds barred action as these behemoths do battle!

If you don't take this stuff too seriously, Godzilla vs. Megalon can be quite a bit of fun. There's enough interesting "filler" going on before the monsters do battle to make even the "boring" parts reasonably entertaining. As with most Toho films, this one includes some really nice miniature work. The scenes of Megalon destroying the dam are very nicely done. As an added bonus, Godzilla vs. Megalon features a few unexpected surreal moments involving the inhabitants of Seatopia. I wasn't quite prepared for a dance number in the middle of my Godzilla movie. And to top things off, the leader of the Seatopians looks like some sort of extra from a Bob Fosse movie. Bizarre!

6/10

And Now the Screaming Starts! (1973)

"Headless horsemen, horseless headsmen", 28 July 2006

What a disappointment. With a cast that features Peter Cushing, Herbert Lom, Patrick Magee, and Stephanie Beacham, I expected a whole lot more. The film gets off to a great start. Within the first 10 minutes, we see body parts coming out of portraits, a severed hand creeping across the floor, and a new bride attacked in her bed by an eyeless man. Unfortunately after the great start, the movie settles into one of the most ho-hum, mundane stories imaginable. A friend of mine described it as "comfortable". I suppose I agree to a certain degree, but comfort isn't always that exciting. The mystery behind what's going on is annoyingly hinted at without much in the way of clues to help figure it out. And when the clues do finally appear, the storyline does a 180 degree turn and becomes too predictable. It doesn't help matters that Cushing doesn't show up for the first hour, Lom has about 10 minutes of screen time (unless you count the extraordinary amount of time his portrait is shown), and Magee is on screen less than Lom. All you're left with is an incredible ineffective male lead and a constantly screaming Beacham. Unless you're idea of a good movie is listening to Beacham caterwauling with impunity, it's difficult to really enjoy And Now the Screaming Starts.

5/10

The Doll Squad (1973)

It never goes far enough, 26 July 2006

The Doll Squad is a specially trained group of women who kick butt for the government. When a NASA rocket is blown-up after takeoff, the CIA calls in The Doll Squad to find out who's behind the sabotage and put a stop to it. To do this, the women must infiltrate a secret and heavily guarded island belonging to Eamon O'Reilly, an ex-CIA agent turned would be world dominator. Can The Doll Squad succeed in their mission?

The Doll Squad could have been great. It's got a lot of that 70s exploitation feel to it, but it never goes far enough. It's as if director Ted V. Mikels takes things to the edge but never lets the movie go over-the-top into some really cheesy good territory. With a little more camp, it could have been a winner. The Doll Squad is also surprisingly tame. Amazingly, the women stay button-upped throughout. You won't confuse them with a band of vestal virgins, but it's not the skin flick you might expect.

Production and technical aspects are non-existent. Special effects are far from "special". The rocket isn't the only explosion in The Doll Squad and, unfortunately, they all look identical – a giant wash of red color covers objects as they disappear. The scene framing is laughable. Many of the interior scenes were shot in a normal, everyday looking house (not dissimilar to one my aunt live in). Characters routinely disappear behind low hanging chandeliers during the middle of a conversation. And, I'm not sure "acting" is the right word for what's going on in this movie. Mikels has said that Aaron Spelling all but ripped-off The Doll Squad when he made the television show Charlie's Angels. One difference is that Farrah and Company came across as award winning actresses compared with what's presented in The Doll Squad.

So if it's as bad as I've written, why haven't I rated The Doll Squad lower than a 4/10? Well, while it never goes over-the-top as I would have preferred, there still some enjoyable set-pieces. And, any movie as goofy as this is bound to be filled with some of those "so bad it's good" moments. Watching a woman with a machine gun take out a gang of hard-charging guards with weapons drawn (who never get a shot off, by the way) is a pretty fun thing to watch.

4/10

The Last of Sheila (1973)

"Give me a glass of water and a couple of lesbians.", 13 July 2006

A week ago, I had never heard of The Last of Sheila. Now I consider it one of my all time favorite movies. Going through a plot as twisted and intricate as this one seems impossible without giving away too much. Part of the fun I had with it came from knowing next to nothing about the plot before I sat down to give it a watch. I'll just say that The Last of Sheila is an ingenious mystery with a wicked sense of dark humor. Anthony Perkins and Stephen Sondheim (an unlikely pair of writers if you ask me) are responsible for the intelligent, witty screenplay. Mysteries can be difficult to write. Most either make the killer too obvious or hold back vital clues until the final reveal. That's not the case with this cleverly written screenplay. Other than a few insignificant plot holes, everything fits nicely into place by the film's end. Most everything you need to solve the puzzle is out in the open, if you can spot it. It's very well done.

Other than the mystery elements found in the plot, I really enjoyed the cast in The Last of Sheila. They bring life and a sense of enjoyment to the movie. I've always been a fan of James Coburn, but I don't remember ever seeing him having so much apparent fun with a role. I've always thought of James Mason as an under-appreciated actor and he gives his usual steady performance. The shocking part of the cast for me was Dyan Cannon. I'm not sure I've seen in her many other films and I've always looked at her as something of a laughing buffoon. She's good here and holds her own with the rest of the cast. As for the rest of the actors, other than Raquel Welch, I would say that everyone in the cast delivers a solid performance.

9/10

Curse of the Devil (1973)

- El retorno de Walpurgis
It's certainly not the worst Naschy film I've seen, 15 May 2006

I'm like the Energizer Bunny when it comes to Paul Naschy – I keep going and going and going with the hope of one day finding a Naschy film I really enjoy. I know the man has his fans, but I've yet to see the appeal. My latest excursion into Naschy's filmography is Curse of the Devil. It's certainly not the worst Naschy film I've seen (that would be Dr. Jekyll vs. the Werewolf), but the best I can do is call it an average horror film.

The film gets off to a good start. The story explaining how Daninsky (Naschy) became a werewolf is well done. Much like Hammer's Curse of the Werewolf, the backstory presented in Curse of the Devil is nice as it provides a reasonable (well, as reasonable as horror movies can be) explanation behind lycanthropy. Too often, horror movies expect us to accept a person is a werewolf without any explanation other than they were bitten by a werewolf. It's as if it's always been that way, so just accept it. I really appreciated and enjoyed this portion of the film. These early scenes also have a nice Gothic feel to them and an attention to detail that really adds to the atmosphere.

But then Daninsky changes into a werewolf and the whole thing goes downhill. It's the same old story we've seen numerous times. And, if you've seen many Naschy films, you'll definitely feel like you've seen it before. If Naschy is anything, he's consistent and predictable. From what I've seen, his films rarely stray from the tired and true path. But more specifically, there are a couple of things about the werewolf scenes that bother me. First, how is he able to sneak up on everyone? Wouldn't the sound of a hulking, snarling werewolf be a tip-off that something's not quite right? Second, the "special effects" are abysmal even when taking into account the time period in which the movie was made and any budget limitations. Most of the werewolf victims in Curse of the Devil look like people who have, for whatever reason, poured marinara sauce on their faces. It's not very effective.

As I always seem to write when discussing a Naschy film, I'm not giving up. Even though I've yet to find that Naschy film that clicks with me, I'll keep going in hopes that sooner or later one will.

5/10

The Wicker Man (1973)

"It's much too dangerous to jump through fire with their clothes on.", 8 May 2006

I'll try to keep this short as I've always found it difficult to write about a movie I genuinely love. Give me a bad movie and I'll write for days, but with a brilliant film like The Wicker Man, I'm at a loss for words. If it's possible, I enjoy The Wicker Man more and more with each successive viewing. I notice things each time I see the movie that I never noticed before. It may be something as insignificant as a small piece of set decoration or a look that one character gives another, but they all add to the overall enjoyment I get out of this movie. And regardless of the number of times I've seen The Wicker Man, that final scene has lost none of its power. The images of Sergeant Howie being led off to face his destiny are some of the best I've seen in any movie. It's the kind of moment that you don't easily forget. As I said, it's powerful stuff.

I just checked to see who won the Academy Award for Best Actor for 1971. Don't misunderstand because Gene Hackman is good in The French Connection, but there are very few performances that I feel compare with Edward Woodward in The Wicker Man. People in movies like The Wicker Man don't generally get recognized for awards, but they should. It's a fantastic performance. Every moment, whether it's what I call The Seduction of Sgt. Howie to The Indignation of Sgt. Howie to The Martyrdom of Sgt. Howie, Woodward expresses more emotion and conveys more feeling than most actors are capable of. Whether you like the character or not, it would be difficult to deny how effective Woodward is.

10/10