Next (2007)

"It happened. It just hasn't happened yet.", 14 April 2008

What a load! Next has to be one of the most contrived pieces of garbage to come down the pike in quite a while. To begin, the plot is utterly ridiculous. Nicholas Cage is Chris Johnson, a man who has the ability to see two minutes into the future. For some reason known only to her, FBI Agent Callie Ferris (Julianne Moore) is looking for Johnson to help her stop a terrorist attack. For some reason known only to them, the terrorists are also looking for Johnson. For obvious reasons, Johnson is looking for Liz Cooper (Jessica Biel). And for no fathomable reason, Liz falls for Johnson. Oh yeah, and there's a nuclear weapon about to explode.

I'm determined that I'm not going to waste a lot of time writing about Next. It would be easy to get sucked in and go through the laundry list of things that infuriated me while watching the movie. Things like why in the world is the FBI wasting so much money and time on find a two-bit Vegas showman with a little psychic ability? If they spent that much on locating the terrorists, they would have never gotten into the country. Another topic I could beat like a dead horse is why in the world would Jessica Biel's character give Cage a second look? From the creepy hair and smile to his even creepier stalker-like obsession, she'd be getting a restraining order if Next were based in reality. Instead, I'll focus this on Next's gimmick. Using his psychic ability and seeing what's about to happen to him, Johnson is able to change the future. We, the audience, get to see the future Johnson sees and then see what he does to make it different. For example, we see two people get shot right in front of Johnson. But that wasn't reality – that was Johnson looking into the future. We then see the same scene play out only this time Johnson does something to stop the killer. Next, Johnson's car is hit by a train. Wait a minute – that was just Johnson's vision of the future. He's able to speed up and beat the train. The first time it happens it's actually pretty cool. But when it happens over and over, it gets old very fast. And by the time we discover that the entire second half of the movie is just one of Johnson's visions of the future, it gets insulting. It's kind of like Groundhog Day – except Groundhog Day is a good movie and Next is a piece of crap. As I wrote to begin this – what a load!!

2/10