Quest of the Delta Knights (1993)

One big old dog of a movie, 20 November 2008

Plot (and I'll keep this brief – no point in dragging it out): Quest of the Delta Knights is the story of a boy, sold into slavery, who becomes the leader of a revolutionary group out to stop the evil Lord Vultare from discovering Archimedes lost storehouse and the knowledge it contains. This knowledge includes a weapon of unlimited power.

My plot description almost makes Quest of the Delta Knights sound good. Unfortunately, Quest of the Delta Knights is one big old dog of a movie. Nothing in the movie makes sense. It's a mish-mash of ideas and characters that don't go together. Imageine every sort of pre-16th Century character you can think of and you're bound to find them fighting and living beside each other in this movie. Viking, knights, Italian scholars – it doesn't matter. Also, I've seen this movie several times and I'm not quite sure where it's supposed to be set. Someone mentions England, but there are Viking roaming around. With Leonardo Di Vinci as a character, you might think Italy. Again, how do you explain the Vikings? How about Atlantis? It's anyone's guess. And because the whole thing looks like its straight out a Renaissance festival, maybe the setting is supposed to be California? Makes as much sense as anything else you'll find in the movie. This is just one small example of the numerous inconsistencies and annoyances you'll find in Quest of the Delta Knights. Believe me, there are plenty more.

Watching Quest of the Delta Knights, I decided that some people will do just about anything if the price is right. Apparently the producers of this turkey offered David Warner enough money that he was willing to embarrass himself by taking on not one, but two roles. How much money does it take for an actor to agree to star in something like this? Many watchers would also recognize Richard Kind in the role of wise man/Magi Wamthool. But the casting of Kind has to be one of the most puzzling in movie history. I realize they were going for comic relief but they failed miserably. Kind may even have embarrassed himself more than Warner in his mercifully brief performance.

I could go on and on, but really there's no point. My opinion of Quest of the Delta Knights should already be painfully obvious. If not, I'll spell it out for you – it's an incredibly bad movie with one ridiculous set-piece after the next. There are few, if any, redeeming moments to be found. I must admit, however, that my experiences with Quest of the Delta Knights have been softened by watching the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of the movie. The MST3K guys make it a barrel of laughs. So, while I rate the movie a miserable 2/10, I'll give it a 4/5 on my MST3K rating scale.

2/10