Fantastic Four (2005)

"It's clobbering time!", 8 February 2008

Fantastic Four (2005) is essentially the origin story of this band of Marvel superheroes. The four soon-to-be heroes are sent into space, subjected to cosmic radiation, shocked at the resulting effects on their bodies, and band together to stop a would-be evil villain. An origin story like this would seem to be a good place to begin a franchise. Unfortunately, the results are incredibly mundane. For the first in a series, Fantastic Four felt awfully tired. There's just nothing here to get all that excited about. Special effects – seen 'em before. Characters – 2-D and paper thin. Comedy – lame. Plot – predictable. Acting – is that what they were doing? I can't think of one moment in the movie that made me sit up and take notice. There wasn't a single "Wow" moment for me.

A lot has been made about the casting of Jessica Alba in the role of Sue Storm. Besides the fact that I've never understood the attraction of this Barbie of a woman, I thought she was terribly miscast. She's supposed to be Johnny's older sister? Ridiculous! I just love the scene where she scolds her "younger" brother. Watching Alba attempt to act mature is hilarious. And her relationship with Reed has all the chemistry of oil and water. Again, she's too young to pull it off. Finally, Jessica Alba as a genetic researcher? Yeah, right. The worst case of casting since Denise Richards played a nuclear scientist in The World is Not Enough. Unbelievable!

4/10