Track of the Moon Beast (1976)

"Chicken. Corn. Green peppers. Chili. Onions. ...", 6 November 2007

For whatever reason, I have now seen Track of the Moon Beast on two different occasions – once with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary and once without. Should I decide to waste another 90 or so minutes for a third viewing, there's really only one viewing option – watch the MST3K version. Track of the Moon Beast is painful. The idiocy on display can actually start to hurt without the MST3K commentary to take the edge off. From Native American anthropologist Johnny Longbow and his stew recipe to the terry-cloth hot-pants worn by Donna Leigh Drake, Track of the Moon Beast is filled with a nonsensical plot, uninteresting characters, bad acting, poor special effects, brainless dialogue, and bottom of the barrel sound, cinematography, and lighting. You don't get much worse than this.

One of my "favorite" moments occurs when old Johnny Longbone is relating the Native American legend of the Lizard-Man to the sheriff. He has an overhead projector with a number of transparencies he uses to illustrate his story. Well, Longbritches' drawings look about like something you would see drawn in my son's Pre-K class. They're so ridiculous looking! It cracks me up every time I see it.

1/10