Werewolf (1996)

"Wuur-wilf? You mean Joel thinks this thing is a wuur-wilf?", 6 November 2007

When I write one of these little reviews, there are certain words I try to avoid when describing a movie. Some words just don't seem appropriate. But when it comes to Werewolf, I'm going to break this rule. Werewolf has to be one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. While watching Werewolf, it's difficult to fathom that an upright walking human with opposable thumbs and an I.Q. above that of a water sprinkler could have made something so inept. Werewolf's plot is an absolute unadulterated mess. You could give cameras to a band of poo throwing monkeys and end up with a more coherent movie. The actors are given some of the most inane dialogue ever recorded. And it doesn't help matters that three of the main characters (Adrianna Miles being the worst offender) sound more like they need to be in an ESL class than shooting a movie. If Joe Estevez emoting like there's no tomorrow is the highlight of the movie, you know you're in deep trouble. In short, Werewolf is a disaster.

But, as bad as Werewolf admittedly is, coming up with a rating has proved more difficult that I imagined. Much of the movie is so unintentionally hilarious that I was entertained despite the multitude of problems. Take the film's continuity (or lack thereof) as an example. Watching actor Jorge Rivero's hair go from almost black and slicked back to slightly graying with less of a greasy look to brown with blond highlights and a feathered appearance all in a matter of 15 minutes is too funny. Or take the scenes where the werewolf transforms from an actor in makeup to a stuffed animal being shaken at the camera to someone in a bear suit all within 45 seconds – it's laugh-out-loud, hold your sides so they don't split hysterical. But in the end, it's still a pathetic movie and a rating of 2/10 seems somehow generous.

2/10