The Pirates of Blood River (1962)

Pirates without a ship?, 13 September 2009

Pirates of Blood River has to be the only pirate movie I can remember watching that takes place entirely on land. Okay, there is a shot of a random ship at sea, but that's it – no raising the sails, no skull and cross bones atop a mast, no walking the plank, no cannons firing at the King's galley, no shark infested waters, etc. I suppose you could argue that some of the action does take place in a river, but to my way of thinking, a four foot deep spit of water that the cast spends less than five minutes in hardly qualifies. This being Hammer, it's a pretty safe bet that a full-fledged pirate ship would have cost more coin than the studio was willing to put up. However, even if these aren't your traditional pirates, that doesn't mean the movie isn't enjoyable, because I had quite a good time with it. Screenwriters John Hunter and John Gilling have thrown just about everything you can think of into the movie. The plot is all over the place and never gets old or tiring. The story involves a band of pirates that attack a Puritan-like village in search of gold. In addition to this rather simple outline, the movie includes a hard labor penal colony complete with emaciated old guys with sledge hammers and wagon loads of rock, a river full of piranha, a father who finds his son guilty of adultery and all but condemns him to death, two pirates fighting with swords while blindfolded, and a series of booby traps the villagers spring on the pirates. Gilling, who is also the director, keeps things moving at a nice pace. It's a lot of fun from start to finish. The cast is first rate – in fact, it's one of the best casts Hammer ever assembled, especially given the film's modest budget. Christopher Lee is as menacing as ever in the role of pirate chief LaRoche. I really got a kick out of his French accent. Kerwin Matthews is the male lead on the good guys side. He's more than capable in the role. Badass Oliver Reed is also on hand, though his role is limited. Also in the cast are Hammer regulars Andrew Keir and Michael Ripper, James Bond regular Desmond Llewelyn, Glen Corbett (easily the weakest link in the cast), Peter Arne, Marla Landi and other recognizable faces. Overall, Pirates of Blood River is miles from Hammer's normal output, but in this case, that's not such a bad thing. I'll give it a 7/10.

7/10