Teenage Zombies (1959)

What a nothing movie!, 16 October 2009

An obvious attempt at cashing in on the success of I Was a Teenage Werewolf and even I Was a Teenage Frankenstein, Teenage Zombies is a complete disaster. It makes those other two movies look like masterworks in comparison. The problem – well there's really too many to mention, but at the top of the list is the lack of anything remotely interesting in the plot. What a nothing movie! I'm having trouble thinking of a movie that bored me quite as much as Teenage Zombies with its nothingness. Dull doesn't begin to describe it. The 70-something minute runtime was the longest hour and ten minutes I believe I've ever spent in my life. The title may evoke images of teenagers being turned into mindless zombies, but that never happens. Instead we see naturally mindless teenagers walking around an island, driving a boat, and trying to carry on conversations. Exciting, huh? The teens do run into a band of Communist types bent on world domination, but if this sad group of teens is able to take them down, they really never posed much of a threat. If the movie wasn't bad enough already, with about ten minutes to go and out of nowhere, the director decided to throw a gorilla into the proceedings. What was that all about? A desperation move that fails epically. And then there's the ludicrously bad acting, the often inappropriate music, the strange silent pauses at every turn, and the poor sets. No matter how you slice it, Teenage Zombies is one badly made, dull as dishwater movie.

1/10