Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

"Jason Voorhees is dead! His body was cremated. He's nothing but a handful of ash.", 30 October 2017

In the five or so years since his run-in with Jason Vorhees, Tommy Jarvis (played by John Shepherd in this film) returns to Crystal Lake to enter a mental facility. Tommy is still haunted by visions of Jason. Tommy has also developed something of an anger management problem. Not long after Tommy's arrival, Crystal Lake is the scene of a series of gruesome murders. Who could be behind the killings? Is it Jason back from the dead? Is it Tommy? Or is it some other, unknown party?

I don't apologize for being a Friday the 13th fan. I've been a fan since 1980. But I'm not blind. Not all Friday the 13th movies are created equal. Some are good and some are not so good. If I made a list of favorites, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning would fall toward the bottom of that list. It's not the worst, but it's close. My issues with the film are many, including:

- Character development – Never a strength in the series, character development is thrown out the window in Part 5. Unknown characters are introduced just so they can be killed five minutes later. A perfect example are the two greasers killed near the beginning of the movie. Who are these guys? It's hard to care whether a character lives or dies when fodder is all they are.

- Overacting – Junior and Ethel have to be two of the worst characters ever to appear in a Friday the 13th movie. I know a lot of people list Shelly from Part 3 as the most annoying character in the series, but for me, these two take the prize. They are just so over-the-top and unbelievable. I don't necessarily mind a little humor mixed into a film as heavy as Part 5, but his is way too much. Their actions completely take me out of the film every time they pop-up on screen. They're cringe-inducing.

- The mental facility – What kind of place is this? You gather together a bunch of troubled youths, but still you have more dangerous and sharp implements than you'll find at a knife show. There seem to be knives, hatchets, and machetes lying around everywhere.

- Roy Burns – Who? I remember seeing Part 5 in the theater and when the killer was unmasked (Scooby Doo style no less), I wasn't sure who I was looking at. Re-watching last night, I see all the hints and clues to the killer's identity, but Roy Burns is such a nothing character that I still didn't recognize him when he was unmasked. In the list of great slasher villains from the 80s and 90s, I've never seen Roy Burns' name listed alongside Freddy, Jason, and Michael. I don't care that the movie included a copycat killer, but make it someone we'd at least recognize.

- Outhouse serenade – Has there ever been a more ridiculous scene in a movie? It's another low point in a movie filled with low points. This is another of those lists that I could go on and on with, but, as I often say, what's the point?

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning is a bad movie with a lazy script, an instantly forgettable killer, and characters we can't care about because we don't know them. Overall, it's a low point in the series for me. I can't bring myself to rate it any higher than a 3/10.

3/10