Jaws 3-D (1983)

"Why don't we blow it up?", 1 November 2017

In the second sequel to Jaws, Sea World's new multi-million dollar underwater attraction is terrorized by a 35 foot great white shark, putting both staff and the public in danger. It's up to Mike Brody (Dennis Quaid) to uphold the family's legacy as shark fighters and save the day.

I was "fortunate" enough to see Jaws 3-D in the theater back when it was originally released in 1983. I didn't care for it back then and, if anything, I found it even worse as I re-watched it last night. There are so many problems I have with the film I really don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start with the 3D. As best as I can remember, the 3D effects weren't overly impressive back in the day. But watching in 2D, they're even more annoying. The floating arm near the beginning of the film, for example, looks just plain old stupid. The rest of the effects are equally bad. The shark is laughable. The shark from the original Jaws, made years earlier, is so much better.

As bad as the effects are, the rest of the film is even worse. The film's logic is pretty much non-existent, the characters are pretty much unlikable, and the script is pretty much a dull mess. There's not much here to like. Watching last night, I'm shocked that Sea World actually let the makers of Jaws 3 not only use their facilities for filming, but allowed them to use the Sea World name. Sea World must have believed in the old adage that there's no such thing as bad publicity. The film makes the staff and ownership of Sea World look like a bunch of bumbling idiots who can't be bothered to give two shakes about customer safety.

Speaking of "can't be bothered", I can't be bothered to go into any more detail on Jaws 3-D. I'll end this by saying that, for me, this is the worst of the Jaws series. I know most people rate Part 4 the worst. While I agree that it's one stinker of a film, at least Part 4 is entertaining. Jaws 3-D is just bad.

3/10