The Adventures of Hercules (1985)

- Le avventure dell'incredibile Ercole
And I thought Hercules (1983) was bad., 6 March 2006

The Adventures of Hercules has to be one of the lamest excuses for a movie I've yet run across. You would have to look far and wide to find anything that approaches the level of ineptness on display in this movie. Acting – Bad. Editing – Bad. Direction – Bad. Special Effects – Bad and Laughable. Plot – Bad. Lighting – Bad. Cinematography – Bad. Costume Design – Bad and Silly. Everything Else – Bad. Watching The Adventures of Hercules is about as enjoyable as a root canal. Even for a fan of bad movies, it's a real endurance test. This is one for either masochists or Lou Ferrigno completists (if any exist).

Eight things I learned from watching The Adventures of Hercules:

1. If you don't have the budget for real special effects, rotoscope a scene from the previous movie. It will look great - trust me.

2. When on a quest to recover Zeus' thunderbolts, take time for frequent stops to oil-up you body. It worked for Ferrigno and his two Amazon companions.

3. Any sword fight, use of magic, and just about all other day to day activities in ancient Greece created a sound very similar to a game of Pac Man or Asteroids.

4. Some of the ancient Greek gods dressed like extras from Star Wars.

5. If you need to pad your crappy movie's runtime, extend the title sequence by adding Star Trek style credits and throw in some overly grandiose music. It also helps if you've got a previous movie to pull scenes from.

6. Fight scenes move along much smoother if the bad guys attack Hercules one at a time.

7. William Berger did anything for money.

8. I didn't think it was possible, but The Adventures of Hercules makes the first film, Hercules (1983), look like an Academy Award winner.

1/10