Æon Flux (2005)

"We're meant to die. Its what makes everything about us matter.", 24 March 2008

Aeon Flux (Charlize Theron) is an assassin in the year 2415. She works for a group of rebels intent on overthrowing the government. Her target is Trevor Goodchild (Marton Csokas), the leader of what's left of Earth. But before Aeon can pull the trigger, something strange happens. A memory is sparked of a previous life when she knew Goodchild. She discovers that for the past 400 years everyone on Earth has been infertile. The human race has carried on through an intricate system of cloning. Trevor tells her that he is near to finding a solution to the problem. But there are some who would have things stay as they are. Trevor Goodchild's brother, Oren (Jonny Lee Miller) has plans to overthrow Trevor to maintain the status quo. Aeon changes her mission – now she must protect Trevor, stop Oren, and end the cycle of cloning.

I'm really starting to hate the modern brand of action movies. What happened to the good old days when it was all about shooting people and blowing things up? Why do filmmakers feel the need to hide their action movies behind a faux sense of intelligence? Despite all the weird flashback scenes, the annoyingly vague character motivations, and the intentionally muddled plot points, Aeon Flux is no smarter than any other action movie. In fact, all this pseudo-intellectual garbage does is confuse matters to the point the movie becomes incredibly dull. Scene after scene of people talking nonsense does not make for a good action film. And that's just what you get in Aeon Flux. Add to that some of the most uninteresting characters I've seen recently and you've got the makings of an infuriatingly boring movie. The worst offender in this regard has to be Jonny Lee Miller (though if truth be told, no one comes out looking good – and that includes Charlize Theron). Miller is so dry, so white bread, he's hardly menacing at all. Laughable would be a better description.

And why do filmmakers today feel the need to make every action movie look like The Matrix? I'm no physicist or human physiologist, but people and things don't move and/or behave in nature like they do in these movies. There's a scene where Aeon is about to fall on sharpened blades of grass (oh, how clever). The way she holds herself just inches above the ground with nothing but the insides of her feet is impossible. I'm so tired of seeing this kind of thing.

For what it's worth, I'll rate Aeon Flux a 3/10.

3/10