Teenage Zombies (1959)

What a nothing movie!, 16 October 2009

An obvious attempt at cashing in on the success of I Was a Teenage Werewolf and even I Was a Teenage Frankenstein, Teenage Zombies is a complete disaster. It makes those other two movies look like masterworks in comparison. The problem – well there's really too many to mention, but at the top of the list is the lack of anything remotely interesting in the plot. What a nothing movie! I'm having trouble thinking of a movie that bored me quite as much as Teenage Zombies with its nothingness. Dull doesn't begin to describe it. The 70-something minute runtime was the longest hour and ten minutes I believe I've ever spent in my life. The title may evoke images of teenagers being turned into mindless zombies, but that never happens. Instead we see naturally mindless teenagers walking around an island, driving a boat, and trying to carry on conversations. Exciting, huh? The teens do run into a band of Communist types bent on world domination, but if this sad group of teens is able to take them down, they really never posed much of a threat. If the movie wasn't bad enough already, with about ten minutes to go and out of nowhere, the director decided to throw a gorilla into the proceedings. What was that all about? A desperation move that fails epically. And then there's the ludicrously bad acting, the often inappropriate music, the strange silent pauses at every turn, and the poor sets. No matter how you slice it, Teenage Zombies is one badly made, dull as dishwater movie.

1/10

The Headless Ghost (1959)

Lifeless, 11 June 2009

I suppose that The Headless Ghost is harmless enough, but honestly, movies don't get much more bland than this. It's a bit like eating a mayonnaise sandwich on white bread - not very exciting with nothing to look forward to. The plot is laid out in the first 10 minutes and everything that follows fits nicely in place with nary a surprise in sight. While touring a supposed haunted castle, three college students hide out so they can spend the night and write about their experiences. They soon meet a whole gang of ghosts - one of which is missing his head. To get out of the castle, the intrepid trio will have to help the ghost find his head. Unfortunately, that's about all there is to it. What a big bland way to spend an hour or so of your life! The college students are as dull as dishwater, their comedy bits are too lame to be funny, there's not a thrill or fright to be had, and the dialogue is stilted and uninteresting. In fact there's really not an exciting moment to be had in all of The Headless Ghost. A 3/10 from me.

3/10

House on Haunted Hill (1959)

"Once the door is locked, there is no way out.", 12 April 2009

Frederick Loren (Vincent Price) is a wealthy man with some strange ideas about throwing a party. He rents a supposed haunted house, invites five strangers, and offers them each $10,000 if they can make it through the night. But when Loren's wife ends up at the wrong end of a noose, the fun's over (or is really just beginning). Is a killer loose in the house or is the House on Haunted Hill really haunted?

You know what I enjoy the most about older horror movies like House on Haunted Hill – they were made at a time when horror movies could still be fun. Ridiculous looking heads could pop out of suitcases, unexplained hands could grope from behind walls, and skeletons ruled the cellar. Sure, it was all unrealistic, but was it ever a blast. And that's exactly what keeps me coming back to movies like House on Haunted Hill – that sense of fun. Today's horror movies are too realistic, try too hard to be one big gross out, and have lost most of the enjoyable elements of old.

One big plus for House on Haunted Hill is the cast. Well, not all the cast, but the movie does feature a couple of outstanding, memorable performances. Horror icon Vincent Price was just getting his feet wet in the genre in 1959. He may not have been the scene-chewing, over-the-top actor that most of us remember so fondly, but he was still rock solid in the role of the wealthy Frederick Loren. Almost as good is Carol Ohmart. Whether playing the victim or the victimizer, she's equally adept. As for the rest of the cast, the less said the better. I know we're supposed to identify with and root for the characters played by Carolyn Craig and Richard Long, but they're both so annoying that I always want to see both take a swim in the acid bath.

Finally, what comment about House on Haunted Hill would be complete without a mention of the scene with the old lady in the basement. The horror in most of House on Haunted Hill may have been played for laughs, but when the hag in the cellar pops up, it's one of the best jump scares in the history of horror. I've seen the movie a dozen or more times and I know when the scene is coming up, but it still works.

7/10

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

"Do as the legend tells and avoid the moor when the forces of darkness are exalted.", 23 November 2008

From what I understand, The Hound of the Baskervilles was to be the first in a series of Sherlock Holmes films from Hammer Film Productions. For whatever reason, the film didn't do what Hammer was expecting and they decided to scrap any further Holmes movies. Too bad, because I really enjoy this version of the famous story and would have enjoyed seeing Hammer take their turn with some of the others. And I would have enjoyed the opportunity to see Peter Cushing again play the famous detective while still in his prime. I can only imagine what might have been.

As for the movie itself, Hammer's The Hound of the Baskervilles plays as loose and free with the original story elements as any other I've seen. It doesn't necessarily hurt my enjoyment, but those seeking something that follows the book to the letter would be better off looking elsewhere. Because this is Hammer, the horror aspects of the story are quite naturally highlighted – and to good effect. Cushing makes a wonderful Holmes. Not only does Cushing act the part, in my mind anyway, he looks the part as well. I often go back and forth about which Holmes' portrayal I enjoy more – Cushing or Rathbone. Andre Morrell makes for as good a Dr. Watson as you're likely to find. The rest of the cast, including Christopher Lee and Francis De Wolff, is as solid as any that Hammer ever assembled. I get a real kick out of Miles Malleson's delightfully forgetful Bishop. Finally, and unlike a lot of the more stage-bound Hammer productions, The Hound of the Baskervilles benefits from some excellent location shots. All together, this is one very enjoyable film. If it weren't for Rathbone's The Hound of the Baskervilles, this would be my favorite version of the story – even with (or should that be because of) the numerous deviations from the source material. The Hound of the Baskervilles is also in my top 5 favorite Hammer films as well. A 9/10 seems about right to me.

9/10

Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow (1959)

These are some of the most clean-cut, white-bread kids imaginable., 11 April 2008

It looks like bad news for the kids of the local hot rod club. They're about to be thrown out of the building they've used as their clubhouse. And with no place to go, that will mean an end to their club. Just when things look their bleakest, an aunt of one of the club's members offers the kids the use of a house she owns in the appropriately named Dragstrip Hollow. The only catch is that the house is supposed to be haunted.

Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow has proved to be a difficult movie for me to get my hands around. To begin with, this has to be the strangest hot rod club I've run across in a movie. These are some of the most clean-cut, white-bread kids imaginable. In comparison, they make Wally and the Bev look like delinquents. They're respectful of others, they wear suits and dresses to parties, they don't rumble, and, most shocking of all, they don't race. Huh? A hot rod club that has a bylaw prohibiting its members from racing? Weird! The rival hot rod club is no better. When the rival gang decides to crash a party, they do so dressed to the nines - suits, ties, and party dresses. And while I found a lot to enjoy, there are too many big problems with the movie to call it good. On the positive side, I enjoyed the incredibly catchy music, the energy of the cast, and the lighthearted fun of it all. On the negative side there's the lack of any real plot, the hokey haunted house and its "resolution", and some really poor acting. In the end, however, the pendulum ends up on the negative side because of two things I found in Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow that are so egregious they're unforgivable – the ridiculously annoying talking bird and the even more ridiculously annoying talking car. Ugh!

Edit: Despite the problems with Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow, I've found myself oddly drawn back to it. I've now seen the movie three times in the past couple of days. There seems to be more here than I first gave it credit for. Even the bird and car aren't bothering me as much. I think a change in my rating to a 6/10 is in order.

6/10

Fellowship of the Frog (1959)

- Der Frosch mit der Maske
Despite its shortcomings, its a "must see" for krimi fans, 4 March 2008

While I enjoy watching these German-made krimis, I've yet to find one that I just love and can recommend without hesitation. That holds true with Fellowship of the Frog. The best I can say is that it's about average. The plot is twisted and nonsensical like you'll find in most krimis. I won't even attempt to go into it other than to say it involves a masked criminal known as The Frog who, with his seemingly endless supply of flunkies, is responsible for a string of robberies and murders in London. For reasons only he knows, the Frog seems to have set his sights on a young woman named Ella Bennet and kidnaps her brother Ray to get to her. It's up to Scotland Yard and an amateur detective named Richard Gordon to put a stop to this devious criminal.

There are several things in Fellowship of the Frog to enjoy. The film gets off to a nice start. It's appropriately dark and foggy with the requisite smoky (though unmemorable) jazz score playing in the background all helping to create a nice sinister atmosphere. The movie features a couple of faces familiar to even a novice fan of krimis like myself – Joachim Fuchsberger and Eddi Aren't (I'm sorry about the apostrophe, but the IMDb spell-checker seems intent on putting it there). While both are quite good, I especially enjoyed Aren't's unusually quiet performance as the all-knowing butler James. However when the second act begins, most of the good feelings I was having toward Fellowship of the Frog came to an end. To call the second act slow would be a gross understatement as the movie all but grinds to a halt. I had to go back and play a couple of scenes over to make sure I hadn't missed anything as my mind wandered. Fortunately, my persistence was rewarded with a delicious twist near the end that's as shocking as any I've seen recently. It almost saves Fellowship of the Frog from mediocrity.

One final note, I understand from doing a little research that this movie is notable for being the first of the Edgar Wallace based krimis produced in the 50s and 60s. Because of that fact, and regardless of the film's shortcomings, Fellowship of the Frog is necessary viewing for anyone calling themselves a fan of these movies.

5/10

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

"I'm muzzled by army brass!", 7 February 2008

Watching Plan 9 from Outer Space is like watching an instructional video on how to make a bad movie. It's all here – poor acting, dime store special effects, ridiculously flimsy sets, absolutely no continuity, bad editing, and an incoherent plot. But the most offensive part in my mind is the dialogue. It's completely inane. Criswell's opening monologue is a perfect example – "Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future…." Huh? Does any of that make the least bit of sense? Not to me.

Some people, however, go so far as to call Plan 9 from Outer Space the worst movie ever made. That's ludicrous if you ask me. It might be the most famous bad movie, but not the worst. There are any number of movies more unwatchable, more wretched, and more mind-numbing than Plan 9. For sure, it's bad, but it doesn't deserve the reputation it's gotten over the years. There are several positive aspects of Plan 9 I could cite, but I'll limit this to my old standard argument on Ed Wood as a filmmaker. He may not have had the most talent, the biggest budgets, the most gifted actors, and the best written scripts, but there's not denying Ed Wood's love for movies. You can see it in almost every frame of the film. His enthusiasm for his work is almost infectious. And in my mind that counts for something. It makes watching Plan 9 a reasonably fun experience. Sure, a lot of the fun comes from unintentional sources, but Wood's vision is still there for all to enjoy. And with the fun comes entertainment. I will continue to argue that entertainment is the most important factor for me in watching a movie. That's why I've got no problem giving Plan 9 a 5/10.

5/10

Return of the Fly (1959)

"I know something terrible happened, something even more terrible than suicide or murder", 13 October 2007

Following the death of his mother, Philippe Delambre (Brett Halsey) decides to continue the work his father began 15 years previous. His father's experiments in matter transference ended disastrously. Philippe promises his uncle, Francois Delambre (Vincent Price), he'll be more careful and not make the same mistake that took his father's life. But as luck would have it, Philippe is destined to the same horrible fate. Through a one in a million accident, he's turned into a half fly, half human. Though he wasn't able to help Philippe's father, maybe this time Uncle Francois can find the fly and save Philippe.

Return of the Fly is a quick and cheap follow-up to The Fly. Though there are things to enjoy, it's something of a disappointment given the original. The sequel lacks the mystery of the first movie. In this one, we are expected to just accept the whole transference process and that a man can be turned into a fly. No suspense, no atmosphere – nothing. And what about the son Philippe meeting the same fate as his father? I called it a million to one accident – well it's probably more like a trillion to one. Can't the Delambre family get some pest strips or hire an exterminator or something? The notion of a fly getting in the transference machine twice is ridiculous. There are other problems (the fly special effects and the theft subplot for example), but these are the two things that bothered me the most.

Oh, but it's not all bad. The acting is okay. I've never been much of a fan of Brett Halsey, but here he's actually good. Vincent Price is always enjoyable even when, as here, he doesn't have much of anything to do. Also, the scenes of the fly stalking his prey in the funeral home are effective. I'll admit that I jumped every time he popped out of the shadows. Finally, despite the movie's problems and shortcomings, it's still fairly fun. As I've written any number of times now, entertainment is the most important thing when it comes to a movie for me. And while I wasn't bowled over or anything by Return of the Fly, I still had a decent time with it.

5/10

The Day the Earth Froze (1959)

- Sampo
Not my cup of tea, 9 September 2007

This is going to start to sound confusing because I feel exactly the same about The Day the Earth Froze as I do the other two movies I've seen directed by Aleksandr Ptushko. My comments for The Magic Voyage of Sinbad and The Sword and the Dragon are applicable here (and this is where it gets confusing) – "'The Sword and the Dragon seemed to be filled with such broad overacting that it became absurd. I realize that the movie was made over 50 years ago in the Soviet Union. I understand that the movie is filled with messages and other pro-worker propaganda. And I appreciate the importance of the film as a relic of the communist system. But none of that means I have to actually like the movie.' If you change the title of the movie, this quote accurately reflects my feelings on The Magic Voyage of Sinbad." – This time, substitute The Day the Earth Froze and you've got a quote that accurately reflects my feelings on the movie. Also, I'll add that, if anything, The Day the Earth Froze is actually duller than the other two movies. Even with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary, I had to wake myself at lest two times before I made it through.

In the end, while these movies may appeal to some people, they're not my cup of tea. Just being honest here.

3/10

Hercules Unchained (1959)

- Ercole e la regina di Lidia
An instance where the sequel is better than the original, 6 August 2007

Hercules Unchained picks up right where Hercules (1958) left off. Hercules and his new bride, Iole, are headed to Thebes. A fight for the throne between two brothers puts a kink in Hercules' plans, so he decides to act as peacemaker. But before he can carry out his mission, he mistakenly drinks from the "waters of forgetfulness" and is taken prisoner by Queen Omphale. Unsure of his real identity, Hercules is at the Queen's mercy and is reduced to being her plaything. Meanwhile, Iole is caught between the warring brothers and faces death. Can Hercules come to his senses in time to save his wife and his beloved Thebes?

Hercules Unchained is one of those instances where I find the sequel superior to the original. First off, the movie is just more interesting. The original Hercules had a tendency to drag. While Hercules Unchained isn't a thrill-a-minute, there is certainly more action. Second, I think everyone involved from the actors to the director seemed more comfortable in their respective roles in the sequel. That's only natural. Finally, and probably most importantly, Mario Bava's influence is more pronounced and evident in Hercules Unchained. There are instances throughout the movie that show his touch. For example, when Hercules meets the old king in the cave, the use of colored gel lighting in the scene simply screams Bava. Take a look at that scene and compare it with what Bava would do in his on Hercules movie, Hercules in the Haunted World, and see if you don't agree.

A lot of different muscle-bound actors would play the role of Hercules in these Italian productions, but none would do it any better that Steve Reeves. In this instance, the original is still the best. Others cast in the role may have been better actors and some may have been more gifted physically, but few could combine the two into a single package as effectively as Reeves.

I realize that these Italian sword and sandal movies may not be for everyone, but I really get a kick out of most of them. For anyone new to these movies, Hercules Unchained would make an excellent jumping off point.

7/10

Prince of Space (1959)

- Yûsei ôji
"You there! Discharge the caustic vapors!", 4 August 2007

A spaceship from the planet Krankor invades Earth with the intention of stealing a new rocket fuel formula. Fortunately for all of humankind, Prince of Space is on hand to thwart the aliens at every turn.

I have never seen Prince of Space without the Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary and, to be honest, I'm not sure I want to. Usually, when I write about a movie that appeared on MST3K, I focus on the movie – not the television show. I pride myself in being able to separate the movie from the silliness going on around it. I can't really do that with Prince of Space. It's the kind of movie that was just made to be lampooned by MST3K. Annoying Japanese kids, ridiculous looking aliens, an even more ridiculous looking hero, crazy weapons, cheesy dubbed dialogue, bad special effects – Prince of Space has it all in spades. The riffs hit their marks almost every time and have me laughing out loud more than once. Some of the quotes that leave me in stitches include:

"Tokyo: a rare Godzilla-free day"

"I am the lemon zester of destruction."

"Crank whore?"

"An exchange of deadly negative scratches!"

Yeah, it's silly, but boy is it fun. While I rate the movie Prince of Space a 2/10, I'll give episode #816 a 5/5 on my MST3K rating scale. It's truly one of the best.

2/10

The Giant Behemoth (1959)

Something is amiss off the English coast., 29 July 2007

Something is amiss off the English coast. A fisherman is killed by what appears to be radiation burns. Soon thereafter, thousands upon thousands of fish wash up and die on the same beach. What's behind the mystery? All of Britain is soon to know when a giant prehistoric creature goes on a rampage through the streets of London.

The Giant Behemoth won't get my award for the best giant creature on a rampage film, but it is entertaining. While Willis O'Brien and the other special effects artists might have done better work in other movies, their efforts here are still a joy to watch. Their work is even more amazing when you consider what they had to work with. The budgets were obviously tight as we see the same car destroyed 3 times in less than 3 minutes. Even though you won't confuse the miniature work here with what Toho was doing at the same time, that only adds to the movie's charm as far as I'm concerned. Gene Evans and (especially) Andre Morell give solid performances as the scientists trying to unravel the mystery. My only complaint about the pair is that Evans is a little too rough around the edges to be a real effective movie lead. The rest of the cast is adequate. While The Giant Behemoth is not the kind of special effects extravaganza that seems to appeal to modern audiences, director Eugène Lourié keeps things moving at an entertaining pace. In particular, I found the opening scenes set in the village on the coast of Cornwall very creepy and nicely done. For what it's worth, I'll give this one a 6/10.

6/10

Girls Town (1959)

My goodness but Mamie sure could fill-up an outfit!, 15 July 2007

Already on probation for a series of petty crimes, Silver Morgan (Mamie Van Doren) is facing time in juvenile detention after being accused by a witness of pushing her boyfriend off a cliff. Fortunately for Silver, Mother Veronica offers to take her in at Girls Town – a Catholic home for troubled young women. Silver doesn't want to fit in and has trouble with the other girls from the moment she arrives. But when her kid sister gets into trouble, it's these very same people she turns to for help. Can Girls Town save Silver - and her sister?

If Silver Morgan is 16 years old, then I'm a teenager myself. My goodness but Mamie sure could fill-up an outfit! Curves galore! And what kind of name is "Silver"? Sounds like a stripper name to me! But even though this is low-budget 50s-style exploitation, Mamie gives a surprisingly decent performance. It's not award worthy or anything, but I enjoyed it.

Beyond Mamie, another "highlight" of the movie has to be the fight scene between those two imposing specimens of masculinity, Paul Anka and Mel Torme. That's right – Paul Anka and Mel Torme in a fight! It's one of the absolute funniest things I've seen in a long time. I mean Mamie's bra is tougher than these two. Still, it's a moment that made the movie for me.

Realistically, Girls Town isn't anywhere near as good as my rating would indicate. But as I've said before, my ratings are based on the entertainment value I find in movies regardless of a lot of other factors. If I watch a movie and enjoy it and have fun with it, it gets a good rating. And unlike a lot of other reviewers, I had a blast with Girls Town.

I watched the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of Girls Town and loved it. The riffs were dead-on and hysterical. I've got no problems rating episode #601 a 4/5 on my MST3K rating scale. This is one any fan of the show should seek out.

6/10

The Black Pit of Dr. M (1959)

- Misterios de ultratumba
Another Mexican horror winner!, 29 August 2006

Another Mexican horror winner! Until just recently, I doubt I could have named more than a half dozen Mexican horror films that didn't feature a masked wrestler. As I'm quickly discovering, Mexican horror has much more to offer – especially for fans of Gothic horror. Films like The Black Pit of Dr. M appear to be heavily influenced by the classic Gothic Universal films of the 1930s. They have the same thick atmosphere, similar looking sets, a familiar grand but foreboding score, and common plot themes. In fact, if the actors weren't speaking Spanish and you could replace the main actor with Boris Karloff, you would essentially have a 1930s American horror film.

The Black Pit of Dr. M is the story of a couple of doctors who have made what is in essence a death pact. The one who dies first will do whatever he can to comeback to let the another know what the afterlife is like. But Dr. Mazali isn't content with knowing what happens after death, he wants to experience it. His recently departed friend, Dr. Aldama, informs Dr. Mazali that it might be possible him to experience the afterlife, yet return to the living. But is Dr. Mazali willing to pay a heavy price to cheat death?

If I have one complaint with The Black Pit of Dr. M it would be with the predictable nature of some of the plot points toward the end of the movie. Maybe I've seen too many similar movies or maybe the movie really is predictable, but a few more plot twists in the films finale would have made this one even better. As it is, The Black Pit of Dr. M is a wonderfully entertaining movie even with this weakness. Fans of Gothic horror are sure to enjoy this one.

Casa Negra's new DVD is amazing given the obscure nature of the movie. I sincerely doubt that The Black Pit of Dr. M ever looked better. The DVD includes a warning about some brassy moments in the film's soundtrack, and while I noticed it, the audio weaknesses never distracted or took away from the film's enjoyment. The extras are nice and include a very informative commentary with IVTV founder Frank Coleman. Overall, it's another solid job by Casa Negra.

8/10

The Giant Gila Monster (1959)

It's unfair to compare it with the big budget movies of today., 2 June 2006

A string of deaths and disappearances on the roadways of a rural Texas town has the sheriff at a loss for an explanation. Trucks and cars seem to be sliding of the road sideways with their drivers nowhere in sight. When the local drunk reports having seen something strange on the road, he is dismissed by the sheriff. But when others report the same mysterious sight, the sheriff can no longer ignore the truth. His town is under attack by a giant lizard the size of a bus.

While I can understand people disliking The Giant Gila Monster, I think it's unfair to compare it with the big budget movies of today. Sure, the special effects are weak, but look what the director had to work with. If you look close, you'll see some talent in the miniatures used in the effects shots. Sure, some of the acting is bad, but look at the performances turned in by Don Sullivan, Fred Graham, and Shug Fisher. I get the distinct impression they were giving it their all regardless of how silly the script must have seemed. Sure, there are a lot of faults you can find in The Giant Gila Monster, but I tend to see a film with a lot of charm made by people who seem to have a love for their craft. Surely that's worth something.

I'm shocked to see that Don Sullivan only made a handful of films. I thought he was by far one of the best things The Giant Gila Monster had going for it. He seemed to be a good looking, decent actor with a nice singing voice. Why didn't he do more?

4/10

Gidget (1959)

"Honest to goodness it's the absolute ultimate!", 1 April 2006

I don't think you can get much further away from the stuff I usually watch like Cannibal Holocaust or Zombi 2 than Sandra Dee and Gidget. It's impossible not to enjoy Dee's performance. She's bubbly, spunky, and cute. What's not to like? Overall, Gidget is a sweet little movie that, for the most part, is entertaining. On the downside, far too often the sweetness turns into sappiness – something I cannot stomach.

Gidget is definitely a product of another time. Incidents that would automatically mean "sex" in a film made today are quite innocent and harmless in Gidget. A girl telling her mother that she wants to feel like a woman only means that she wants to fall in love and have a boyfriend. And watching with jaded 21st Century eyes, it's hard to imagine The Big Kahuna not being brought up on charges.

5/10

A Bucket of Blood (1959)

"But if you'd have shot me, you'd be moppin' up my blood now.", 27 March 2006

A Bucket of Blood is a nice little Corman horror film. It plays better than many of his other non-Poe, non-Price films. It's the story of a "backwards" busboy in a beatnik dive trying to fit in by becoming an artist. His creations are the talk of the joint. But just how is the seemingly talentless busboy able to create such realistic images of death?

Dick Miller plays the busboy in one of the few feature roles I remember seeing him in. The mix of emotions he imbibes into his character is a highlight of the film. At one moment he's confused, the next a raving lunatic. Corman kept the screenplay simple and it works. I've seen too many low budget directors try to creative effects, etc. that their budgets just do not allow. Corman doesn't do this. This one is definitely recommended to fans of the 50s quickie horror films.

7/10

Come Dance with Me! (1959)

- Voulez-vous danser avec moi?
The movie may be mildly entertaining, but Bardot is fantastic!, 20 November 2005

Virginie Dandieu (Brigitte Bardot) finds her husband standing over the corpse of the dance instructor who had been blackmailing him. Convinced of his innocence, Virginie lands a job at the dance studio to investigate the murder and clear her husband. Between the police, the suspects in the dance studio, and her family, Virginie's got her work cut out for her.

Come Dance with Me is at worst a mildly entertaining mystery with bit of humor mixed in for good measure. You'll never fall out of your seat laughing out loud, but a few scenes did bring a smile to my face. The mystery elements suffer a bit because it's the kind of movie where you know everything will work out in the end.

This was my first experience watching a Brigitte Bardot movie. And it certainly won't be my last. Bardot had a screen presence that's hard to beat. She is the center of every scene in which she appears regardless of what she's doing or not doing. It's impossible to watch a scene and not have your eyes glued to her every movement. I can't wait to discover more of her films.

6/10

Giant of Marathon (1959)

- La battaglia di Maratona
It could have been really good, but it isn't, 29 June 2005

Giant of Marathon could have been a really good movie. It's got a lot going for it. Steve Reeves, fresh off his stint as Hercules, is good and dependable in this kind of movie. He did Sword and Sandal as good as anyone. The movie also has some very nice action sequences. I'm far from an expert, but the battle scenes in Giant of Marathon are the best I've seen in a Sword and Sandal. My favorite bit had to be the ship equipped with James Bond style pinchers that were used to sink other ships. Nice touch. The movie also features a "good" bad guy. Teocrito is about as villainous as they come.

But the movie isn't what I would call "really good". It has far too many problems. The first is the love story underlying the action. The love scenes are so corny that they are difficult to watch. Cringe inducing is the best way I can think to describe it. Another real and more important problem is that parts of Giant of Marathon can be incredibly boring. When the battle scenes aren't on screen, nothing happens - a lot of ridiculous talk that isn't in the least interesting.

5/10

Beast from Haunted Cave (1959)

I don't mind a slow film but this is just plain dull, 12 June 2005

After stealing a load of gold, three gangsters (and a girl) hire the local ski instructor to take them on a cross country ski trip. They plan to meet a plane that's to take them to Canada, but they don't plan on the blizzard that makes that impossible. Oh, and there's some sort of monster on the loose.

Beast from the Haunted Cave is as dull as dishwater. It's padded with some of the most mind-numbing conversations imaginable. These people will talk about anything and everything if it means extending the running time. Other than the 10 foot long arms, the monster reminded me of It from the Addams Family. Better than many of the 50s monsters, but not much better. The music is all over the place and often doesn't fit well with the action on screen. A pre-title sequence has a snappy jazz score that could be mistaken for something out of a Jess Franco film. That's immediately followed by a very serious pipe organ that could easily be mistaken for music from Carnival of Souls. Other than Sheila Carol, the acting is abysmal.

The silliest moment (and there are several) occurs after the cross country trip when the group arrives at the ski instructor's cabin. It takes at least two days to get there, so it's definitely isolated. What do the gangsters find when they arrive? A housekeeper! Hazel would have been proud of this woman's dedication.

2/10