What a creepy puppet!, 8 June 2017
Parents – Who Needs Them? is an educational short designed to teach children to appreciate their parents. In the short, a young boy is turned invisible by a magic puppet. While invisible, he is able to watch the daily chores and work his parents perform for the benefit of the family.
Being a short, there's really not a whole lot to write about. So, I'll just mention two things that stood out to me:
1. That puppet – how horrifying! This style of puppet frightened me as a child. I remember being terrified of Lady Elaine Fairchild on Mr Rogers. I'm grown now, but these puppets still look creepy.
2. That family – what a depressed looking bunch of people! Watching Mom and Dad go through their daily chores, I don't remember once seeing them smile. What a joyless and miserable looking existence. Even when I have work to do around the house, it's easier get through the drudgery with a smile on your face and a positive attitude.
3/10
Thursday, June 8, 2017
The Guy from Harlem (1977)
"I've got the money, the coke and a picture of your daughter.", 8 June 2017
I'm quite positive that a number of people who have seen The Guy from Harlem will look at my rating and conclude that I need to be committed. A 5/10 isn't a great rating, but it is for a movie as bad as The Guy from Harlem. There's a reason it has a 2.4 IMDb rating. I've always said that I rate films based on entertainment and The Guy from Harlem entertained me. Admittedly, I enjoyed a lot of the movie for the wrong reasons. Still, as I said, I was entertained.
The movie tells two stories of a private detective named Al Connors (Loye Hawkins). In the first, the CIA enlists Connors to guard a visiting African princess. In the second, Connors is hired to rescue a drug kingpin's kidnapped daughter. While the plot is nothing to write home about, given how bad the rest of the movies is, the plot is actually fairly coherent.
Beyond the plot, the rest of The Guy from Harlem is about as poorly presented as I've ever seen. It's easy to tell that for almost the entire cast, this is either their only or one of their only screen credits. The acting is abysmal, with unnatural delivery and flubbed lines. The fact that a lot of the actors' mistakes were not edited out goes to show the quality of the direction, editing, and the film's budget. Speaking of editing, The Guy from Harlem has one of the most glaring editing mistakes I've ever seen in a movie. There is a fairly routine scene with a few seconds of dialogue. Immediately after this scene is over, it is repeated a second time. How is it possible that no one noticed this? It would be like me typing a sentence and then typing it again. It would be like me typing a sentence and then typing it again. See what I mean? Next, the action set-pieces are a disaster. My five year-old could choreograph more realistic looking fight scenes. The sets look as cheap as the rest of the film. Connor's office consists of a couple of poorly furnished rooms in someone's house. It looks pathetic.
Despite these and other flaws in The Guy from Harlem, there has to be something that worked on me, right? First, these that issues many people would have with the movie, I found hysterical. The whole movie has that "so bad it's good" quality to it. Second, the music is actually quite good. I was pleasantly surprised with the funky 70s feel of the soundtrack. Third, there's a character named Harry De Bauld played by Steve Gallon that I found incredibly enjoyable. All of his lines were delivered at a volume several decibels greater than everyone else. He had a flow and style to his speech that worked on me. It reminded me a bit of WWE wrestling manager Teddy Long. What a hoot!
5/10
The movie tells two stories of a private detective named Al Connors (Loye Hawkins). In the first, the CIA enlists Connors to guard a visiting African princess. In the second, Connors is hired to rescue a drug kingpin's kidnapped daughter. While the plot is nothing to write home about, given how bad the rest of the movies is, the plot is actually fairly coherent.
Beyond the plot, the rest of The Guy from Harlem is about as poorly presented as I've ever seen. It's easy to tell that for almost the entire cast, this is either their only or one of their only screen credits. The acting is abysmal, with unnatural delivery and flubbed lines. The fact that a lot of the actors' mistakes were not edited out goes to show the quality of the direction, editing, and the film's budget. Speaking of editing, The Guy from Harlem has one of the most glaring editing mistakes I've ever seen in a movie. There is a fairly routine scene with a few seconds of dialogue. Immediately after this scene is over, it is repeated a second time. How is it possible that no one noticed this? It would be like me typing a sentence and then typing it again. It would be like me typing a sentence and then typing it again. See what I mean? Next, the action set-pieces are a disaster. My five year-old could choreograph more realistic looking fight scenes. The sets look as cheap as the rest of the film. Connor's office consists of a couple of poorly furnished rooms in someone's house. It looks pathetic.
Despite these and other flaws in The Guy from Harlem, there has to be something that worked on me, right? First, these that issues many people would have with the movie, I found hysterical. The whole movie has that "so bad it's good" quality to it. Second, the music is actually quite good. I was pleasantly surprised with the funky 70s feel of the soundtrack. Third, there's a character named Harry De Bauld played by Steve Gallon that I found incredibly enjoyable. All of his lines were delivered at a volume several decibels greater than everyone else. He had a flow and style to his speech that worked on me. It reminded me a bit of WWE wrestling manager Teddy Long. What a hoot!
5/10
Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries "Unnatural Habits" #2.12 (2013)
Phryne vs the Catholic Church, 8 June 2017
Unnatural Habits started off a bit slow for my liking, but ended up being a real winner. In the episode, Phryne and Jack are investigating the death of a young runaway from a Catholic girl's school. Their investigation leads to a cargo ship that's about ready to set sail. Their investigation also runs into trouble with the Catholic Church. Jack's former father-in-law pulls him off the case and threatens his job if he doesn't back-off. There's a whole lot more going on, but I'd hate to spoil it for anyone.
Unnatural Habits is a rock solid episode. The plot is as dark and depressing as any I've seen in Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. The fate of the missing girls is heartbreaking. Because of that, the ending is especially satisfying. More so than in most of the episodes, I really enjoyed seeing the bad guys get what was coming to them. Real nasty pieces of work. Another bonus is the way Unnatural Habits cranks up the tension. I was quite literally on the edge of my seat. There's atmosphere and danger to spare – always welcome in a mystery. And, as you'd expect, Phryne runs headfirst into it all. Very nicely written and directed. I also enjoyed the fact that most of the regular and semi-regular characters have parts to play. Aunt Prudence, Bert, Cec, Jack's ex- wife, her father-in-law, and her fiancé – they're all here. The acting is quite good. I suppose my favorite had to be Joan Sydney as Mother Aloysius in a very believable and memorable performance. In the end, I've got really nothing to complain about. A very strong 8/10 from me.
8/10
Unnatural Habits is a rock solid episode. The plot is as dark and depressing as any I've seen in Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. The fate of the missing girls is heartbreaking. Because of that, the ending is especially satisfying. More so than in most of the episodes, I really enjoyed seeing the bad guys get what was coming to them. Real nasty pieces of work. Another bonus is the way Unnatural Habits cranks up the tension. I was quite literally on the edge of my seat. There's atmosphere and danger to spare – always welcome in a mystery. And, as you'd expect, Phryne runs headfirst into it all. Very nicely written and directed. I also enjoyed the fact that most of the regular and semi-regular characters have parts to play. Aunt Prudence, Bert, Cec, Jack's ex- wife, her father-in-law, and her fiancé – they're all here. The acting is quite good. I suppose my favorite had to be Joan Sydney as Mother Aloysius in a very believable and memorable performance. In the end, I've got really nothing to complain about. A very strong 8/10 from me.
8/10
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries "The Mystery of the Ghostwriters' Cruise" #1.12 (1977)
Nancy takes a cruise -, 7 June 2017
Nancy and George take a cruise with their friend Cathy and Cathy's uncle, John Addams. Mr Addams is a renowned mystery writer who has just announced his retirement. Weird things immediately start happening and it becomes apparent to Nancy that someone is trying to harm Mr Addams. The would-be killer is using one of the writer's first books as a guide for murder. Can Nancy uncover the truth in time?
While I do have some serious issues with The Mystery of the Ghostwriters' Cruise, it's still one of the better Nancy Drew episodes. It's packed with excitement and mystery. My favorite bits have to be the spooky tape recording, the deadly lamp, and the threat written in the scrapbook. What's not to like? The episode also has atmosphere to spare. The ship is downright creepy. I even enjoyed the George/George relationship schtick. What could have been super-annoying was anything but. To me, it was actually very funny. Another plus for The Mystery of the Ghostwriters' Cruise is David Wayne as John Addams. Wayne was a very competent actor who I always seem to enjoy. Finally, the ending is nicely handled. There seems to be some real danger present. Nancy is in a literal race to save the day. Good stuff.
My biggest issue with the episode concerns the killer's overly elaborate plan. Take the fake tidal wave sequence as an example. How in God's name could anyone have pulled that off without being discovered? What kind of training in electronics and ship design would this have taken? And how was the trained and experienced crew so easily tricked? It just doesn't make sense. There's no logic behind any of it. But then again, who really cares when you're having this much fun.
7/10
While I do have some serious issues with The Mystery of the Ghostwriters' Cruise, it's still one of the better Nancy Drew episodes. It's packed with excitement and mystery. My favorite bits have to be the spooky tape recording, the deadly lamp, and the threat written in the scrapbook. What's not to like? The episode also has atmosphere to spare. The ship is downright creepy. I even enjoyed the George/George relationship schtick. What could have been super-annoying was anything but. To me, it was actually very funny. Another plus for The Mystery of the Ghostwriters' Cruise is David Wayne as John Addams. Wayne was a very competent actor who I always seem to enjoy. Finally, the ending is nicely handled. There seems to be some real danger present. Nancy is in a literal race to save the day. Good stuff.
My biggest issue with the episode concerns the killer's overly elaborate plan. Take the fake tidal wave sequence as an example. How in God's name could anyone have pulled that off without being discovered? What kind of training in electronics and ship design would this have taken? And how was the trained and experienced crew so easily tricked? It just doesn't make sense. There's no logic behind any of it. But then again, who really cares when you're having this much fun.
7/10
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
Black Box Affair (1966)
It's dull, dry, lifeless, and difficult to get through., 6 June 2017
- Il mondo trema
The plot for The Black Box Affair is pretty simple – Agent Johnny Grant (Craig Hill) and sidekick Pablo (Luis Marin) are assigned the mission of finding the black box from a downed airplane before it can fall into enemy hands. Why? I honestly couldn't tell you. All I know is they have to find the box.
While I say I'm a Eurospy fan, what I'm learning about myself is that I'm a fan of GOOD Eurospy films. I prefer an entertaining Eurospy with something exciting, something kitchy, something different, or something totally ridiculous. I like films like Special Mission Lady Chaplin or Dick Smart 2.007 or Our Man in Marrakesh – you know, something good. Acting, budgets, dubbing, and most everything else plays second fiddle for me as long as it's entertaining. Unfortunately, I found little entertainment in The Black Box Affair. It's dull, dry, lifeless, and difficult to get through.
There are so many issues I have with this movie that I would write about, but I'll start with the plot – it's a disaster. A large portion of the film consists of little more than our heroes, Grant and Pablo, running, driving, or flying from one location to the next for no real reason that I could ascertain. They seem to be in one fight after the next with either the Russians or the Chinese. Why? Again, I'm not sure other than they're all trying to find the box. None of it makes much sense and that fact really hurts the overall movie. There's nothing I could sink my teeth into and care about. Hill and Marin aren't very good either. Hill makes for one of the most uninteresting leads I've seen recently and Marin's attempts at comic relief are just plain old horrid. His ventriloquism schtick gets old before he does it the first time. Agent Grant also happens to be about as stupid an agent as I've seen in a Eurospy film. He takes forever figuring out who's double-crossing him. The solution all but slaps you in the face it's so obvious. Honestly, I could write for days on the many problems I had with The Black Box Affair, but I've got better ways to spend my time.
3/10
- Il mondo trema
While I say I'm a Eurospy fan, what I'm learning about myself is that I'm a fan of GOOD Eurospy films. I prefer an entertaining Eurospy with something exciting, something kitchy, something different, or something totally ridiculous. I like films like Special Mission Lady Chaplin or Dick Smart 2.007 or Our Man in Marrakesh – you know, something good. Acting, budgets, dubbing, and most everything else plays second fiddle for me as long as it's entertaining. Unfortunately, I found little entertainment in The Black Box Affair. It's dull, dry, lifeless, and difficult to get through.
There are so many issues I have with this movie that I would write about, but I'll start with the plot – it's a disaster. A large portion of the film consists of little more than our heroes, Grant and Pablo, running, driving, or flying from one location to the next for no real reason that I could ascertain. They seem to be in one fight after the next with either the Russians or the Chinese. Why? Again, I'm not sure other than they're all trying to find the box. None of it makes much sense and that fact really hurts the overall movie. There's nothing I could sink my teeth into and care about. Hill and Marin aren't very good either. Hill makes for one of the most uninteresting leads I've seen recently and Marin's attempts at comic relief are just plain old horrid. His ventriloquism schtick gets old before he does it the first time. Agent Grant also happens to be about as stupid an agent as I've seen in a Eurospy film. He takes forever figuring out who's double-crossing him. The solution all but slaps you in the face it's so obvious. Honestly, I could write for days on the many problems I had with The Black Box Affair, but I've got better ways to spend my time.
3/10
The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries "The Mystery of the Flying Courier" #1.9 (1977)
Not a very good episode, 6 June 2017
While Joe is making his singing debut (more on that in a minute), Frank spots the missing girl from one of his father's old, unsolved cases. Frank approaches her and is basically told he's crazy – she's not the missing girl. Frank refuses to take no for an answer and doggedly pursues the girl. He and Joe get mixed up in her world of record piracy, car chases, guns, and bad guys. As a bonus, he almost gets himself killed. In the end, the girl is who Frank thought, the boys help her out of a Jam, and Joe gets to sing some more.
I'll start with the title – The Mystery of the Flying Courier. If I tilt my head sideways and squint my eyes real hard, I can kinda see how this title fits the episode – but it's a real stretch. I hate it when they did this. My guess is the makers of the show found this title among the many Hardy Boys book titles and stuck it here regardless of whether or not it fit.
Next, my chief complaint with The Mystery of the Flying Courier is the complete lack of a mystery. Frank and Joe follow this girl around until she confesses what's up and they try to help her with her problems. It's not the kind of plot I watch The Hardy Boys / Nancy Drew Mysteries for.
On to Joe's singing – the real reason for this episode. Shaun Cassidy had the looks, the hair, and a tolerable voice. That's apparently all you needed to be a teeny-bopper success in the 70s. Shaun sings at least four songs in The Mystery of the Flying Courier. One is a 50s retread and the others are just as "safe". I'm sure the girls were eating it up. What bothers me the most about Joe/Shaun singing is that it helped spell the end to Nancy Drew as part of the series. Pamela Sue Martin (or whoever they put in the role) couldn't compete with the feather-haired Joe/Shaun.
Finally, there's the acting. It's about as bad as I can remember in any of the episodes. The singing Shaun Cassidy is the chief culprit. Watch the scene where Joe thinks Frank has been killed by the car crusher. Just try to watch it without laughing at Cassidy's hysterically bad reaction. It's too funny.
And I haven't even mentioned Dick Gautier as the ridiculous Tail Gunner, the horrible final fight scene complete with stupid sound effects, the car chase through what is obviously a studio back-lot, or any number of other problems I have with this episode. Considering all my issues with the episode, I think my 4/10 is generous.
4/10
While Joe is making his singing debut (more on that in a minute), Frank spots the missing girl from one of his father's old, unsolved cases. Frank approaches her and is basically told he's crazy – she's not the missing girl. Frank refuses to take no for an answer and doggedly pursues the girl. He and Joe get mixed up in her world of record piracy, car chases, guns, and bad guys. As a bonus, he almost gets himself killed. In the end, the girl is who Frank thought, the boys help her out of a Jam, and Joe gets to sing some more.I'll start with the title – The Mystery of the Flying Courier. If I tilt my head sideways and squint my eyes real hard, I can kinda see how this title fits the episode – but it's a real stretch. I hate it when they did this. My guess is the makers of the show found this title among the many Hardy Boys book titles and stuck it here regardless of whether or not it fit.
Next, my chief complaint with The Mystery of the Flying Courier is the complete lack of a mystery. Frank and Joe follow this girl around until she confesses what's up and they try to help her with her problems. It's not the kind of plot I watch The Hardy Boys / Nancy Drew Mysteries for.
On to Joe's singing – the real reason for this episode. Shaun Cassidy had the looks, the hair, and a tolerable voice. That's apparently all you needed to be a teeny-bopper success in the 70s. Shaun sings at least four songs in The Mystery of the Flying Courier. One is a 50s retread and the others are just as "safe". I'm sure the girls were eating it up. What bothers me the most about Joe/Shaun singing is that it helped spell the end to Nancy Drew as part of the series. Pamela Sue Martin (or whoever they put in the role) couldn't compete with the feather-haired Joe/Shaun.
Finally, there's the acting. It's about as bad as I can remember in any of the episodes. The singing Shaun Cassidy is the chief culprit. Watch the scene where Joe thinks Frank has been killed by the car crusher. Just try to watch it without laughing at Cassidy's hysterically bad reaction. It's too funny.
And I haven't even mentioned Dick Gautier as the ridiculous Tail Gunner, the horrible final fight scene complete with stupid sound effects, the car chase through what is obviously a studio back-lot, or any number of other problems I have with this episode. Considering all my issues with the episode, I think my 4/10 is generous.
4/10
Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries "Dead Air" #2.11 (2013)
Phryne Sings, 6 June 2017
One of Dot's school friends is found murdered outside the radio station where she worked. The woman was violently strangled. Quite naturally, Phryne agrees to investigate. The first thing that Phryne discovers is that Jack is working undercover at the radio station as a news reader named Archibald. Jack is investigating a series of unusual happenings at radio stations across the area. Are their cases related?
Dead Air is a perfect example of what I love about Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. It's just so much fun. Between the violent opening death scene, the coded horse betting tips, the dead fish, and Jack's hideous sweater vest, Dead Air is chock full of so much to enjoy. There are clues and leads by the boat load – some helpful, some designed to distract. I admit that the episode doesn't exactly play fair with the clues. There are key pieces of information necessary to solve the mystery that are not available to the viewer. Usually, this is a mystery killer for me. But with everything else Dead Air has going for it, hiding clues is merely an annoyance. The final resolution is more than satisfactory with Phryne getting into a tight spot with the killer. As a result, the tension is ratcheted up in the last act. It's all so perfectly written, acted, and directed. Fantastic!
One of my favorite bits in Dead Air had to be hearing Phryne sing that radio jingle. I'm assuming that was Essie Davis' real voice. Nice! Well, that was my favorite thing, but then in the very last scene, Jack and Phryne sing a naughty little ditty called Let's Misbehave together at the piano. It's not just one of my favorite moments from this episode, it's one of my favorite moments so far in the entire series.
9/10
Dead Air is a perfect example of what I love about Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. It's just so much fun. Between the violent opening death scene, the coded horse betting tips, the dead fish, and Jack's hideous sweater vest, Dead Air is chock full of so much to enjoy. There are clues and leads by the boat load – some helpful, some designed to distract. I admit that the episode doesn't exactly play fair with the clues. There are key pieces of information necessary to solve the mystery that are not available to the viewer. Usually, this is a mystery killer for me. But with everything else Dead Air has going for it, hiding clues is merely an annoyance. The final resolution is more than satisfactory with Phryne getting into a tight spot with the killer. As a result, the tension is ratcheted up in the last act. It's all so perfectly written, acted, and directed. Fantastic!
One of my favorite bits in Dead Air had to be hearing Phryne sing that radio jingle. I'm assuming that was Essie Davis' real voice. Nice! Well, that was my favorite thing, but then in the very last scene, Jack and Phryne sing a naughty little ditty called Let's Misbehave together at the piano. It's not just one of my favorite moments from this episode, it's one of my favorite moments so far in the entire series.
9/10
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