When will they learn to stay away from the pineal gland?, 30 September 2017
When will the scientists in these 40s/50s sci-fi/horror films learn to stay away from the pineal gland? It only leads to misery and death. In She Devil, a brilliant scientist has developed a formula to help treat sick and injured patients. With the consent of a dying patient, Kyra Zelas (Mari Blanchard), Dr. Dan Scott (Jack Kelly) injects her with his formula. Once Kyra's pineal gland (here we go) is sufficiently stimulated, her disease immediately goes away. She's cured and everything's great. Well, not really. Not only did the serum cure Kyra, but it gave her other powers as well - the ability to heal instantly and the ability to change her hair color at will (which comes in handy when you're evading the police). It also took away many of her inhibitions and turned her evil. Killing to get what she wants doesn't seem to faze the new and improved Kyra.
I loved She Devil much more than I should have. The IMDb rating of 5.6 is probably more indicative of the film's quality, but I found it much more entertaining than that. I compare it to the way I felt about another film I found much more entertaining than IMDb's rating would suggest - The Devil's Hand. In some ways they're very similar. Both are B&W, neither has a particularly outstanding cast, both are from the same time period, both are low budget thrillers, and both feature similar themes - man's destruction at the hands of a woman.
What appealed to me most as I watched She Devil was Kyra's quick transformation from a sickly, docile woman to a beautiful, confident killer. Once she's cured, you can see the change on her face almost immediately. It came as little surprise when she popped the old guy on the head and took his money, changed her hair color (now that was a surprise), and coolly slipped past the police. What a fun scene! The main reason I sat down to watch She Devil was Mari Blanchard. I saw her in an episode of It Takes a Thief and was intrigued. She didn't disappoint. As Kyra, she commands the screen and dominates everything. Neither of her co-stars comes close to comparing to the screen presence she possessed. I'm looking forward to discovering more of her work.
7/10
Robert Wagner and Bill Bixby work well together, 29 September 2017
A diplomat is suspected of having stolen NATO documents that he intends on selling to the highest bidder. Mundy's mission is to pose as a photographer, infiltrate the diplomat's villa, and recover the documents. The problem is, however, Mundy's got some competition. Another world-class thief, George Palmer (Bill Bixby), has been casing the villa and intends to steal a very valuable necklace. Al and George will battle it out to see who can get there first.
To Steal a Battleship is easily one of the best episodes I've seen so far. The actual theft isn't much to write home about, so that's not the reason. Instead, what makes this episode so special is the way Robert Wagner and Bill Bixby work off each other. Their back and forth and one-upmanship is on another level altogether. It's a blast. There are so many moments in To Steal a Battleship that work, I can't list them all. But my absolute favorite set-piece has to be the fistfight the two have in the hotel room. While the two go at it, The Blonde (Janis Hansen) watches on, munching an apple like popcorn in a movie theater. Funny stuff. Other than Susan Saint James, I've yet to see co-star in the series the Wagner worked so well with. I haven't looked to see if he comes back, but I can only hope that Bill Bixby pops up in a future episode.
8/10
Really liked the ending, 29 September 2017
Before he's killed, an American spy manages to place an important piece microfilm into a ring belonging to the Petrovian ambassador's wife. Mundy's job is, quite naturally, to steal the ring and retrieve the microfilm from the heavily guarded Petrovian embassy.
Up until the final twist at the end, Birds of a Feather is a fairly average, run-of-the-mill episode with nothing much of note. But that final twist (which I will not reveal) is worth the wait. I knew Mundy had gotten the ring, but I couldn't figure out how he got it out of the embassy. He and his possessions were thoroughly searched before he was allowed to leave the embassy. It appeared he'd failed. Then the surprise and it all made sense. Another plus for me was seeing Strother Martin in a small, but important role. He's always been a favorite of mine.
One thing that really bugged me about Birds of a Feather was how easily Mundy's break-in at the embassy was spotted. Seconds into the break-in and the guards were swarming the place. You'd think a master thief could at least get to the building before being spotted.
Finally, I love the made-up name "Petrovia". Say it with a Russian accent and it just rolls of the tongue. Nice!
7/10
- Miss Dynamite
- Tutti fratelli nel west... per parte di padre
I need to see the uncut version, 28 September 2017
A map to a fortune in gold has been split into five pieces. Five different individuals have a piece of the map and some would do just about anything to get the other pieces. Our two heroes, a shiftless drifter who happens to be good with a gun and a beautiful saloon singer, each have a piece of the puzzle. They form an uneasy alliance and decide to work together to get the treasure.
Miss Dynamite (or All the Brothers of the West Support Their Father – what a stupid name) has two things going for it that should have made it a winner with me – it's a Spaghetti Western starring Marisa Mell. In this case, however, that wasn't enough. My biggest gripe is with the script. I've never been a big fan of mixing comedy into a Western and this movie doesn't change that. I admit, there were a couple of scenes that I found funny (Lionel Stander crossing the river on the shoulders of his henchmen being one that almost brought me to actual laughter), but most were more groan-inducing than anything else. Also, I didn't care at all for the ending. Our heroes end up with all the map pieces and . . . well, that's about it. We never see them using the map or finding the gold. Kind of anticlimactic. Finally, while I enjoyed seeing Marisa Mell and liked her character, I can't say the same for her co-star, Antonio Sabato. His Jeepo character got on my nerves right from the start. Overall, Miss Dynamite was a real disappointment.
I've cut Miss Dynamite a break when it comes to the rating. I watched the 72 minute version available on Amazon. IMDb lists the runtime at over 90 minutes. I'm not sure the extra 20+ minutes would have made a difference (in fact, it might have made things worse), but I'm willing to cut the movie a bit of slack and give it a 4/10 instead of the 3/10 I initially decided on.
4/10
Wildly entertaining, 27 September 2017
After successfully destroying an asteroid that was on a collision course with Earth, the team returns to space station Gamma III. They don't know it, but they brought a little something back with them from the asteroid. It's a very small sample of some sort of green slime. The slime reacts with the energy flowing through the base and, in no time at all, it's grown into a full size, one-eye, tentacled creature capable of killing with its electric touch. At first, the team on the base tries to shot and kill it. But they discover that with each wound, the creature loses a certain amount of green blood. This green blood is capable of rapid cell division and will turn into another creature. The main goal now is to defeat these creatures and make sure none reaches the Earth.
Believe it or not, but The Green Slime has been on my "To See" list as long as I've had a "To See" list. I watched it last night and wasn't disappointed. I've read any number of reviews where people write about liking the movie because it's campy or cheesy or "so bad, it's good". I'll go along with campy and cheesy, but bad – no way. I enjoyed The Green Slime because I found it wildly entertaining. Here's a laundry list of things that worked for me while watching the film:
1. The three main actors – If The Green Slime was going to work for me, I had to buy into the performances of the three main actors – Robert Horton, Richard Jaeckel, and the insanely gorgeous Luciana Paluzzi. All three made this movie special. All three contributed immensely to my overall enjoyment of the film.
2. The special effects – I loved 'em! The miniatures were just so cool. From the space station to the UN building to the bombs on the asteroid – the miniatures worked on me. The creature design was also a hit with me. These wild, green-bumpy-skinned creatures with their electric arms flailing about might have been cheesy, but they were also effective. The first one we see, wriggling on the floor, was actually creepy.
3. The direction – Director Kinji Fukasaku hit all the right notes. This thing was a blast from start to finish. The pacing was spot on. There's drama and excitement around every corner. The action, particularly as space station gang is trying to corral the creatures, never stops. Very nice show.
4. The love triangle – I'm as surprised as anyone, but the love triangle worked on me. Kudos has to go to Horton and Jaeckel for the chest-thumping performances and the way Paluzzi played both of them. And I loved the way it all played out in the end. The two that belonged together could finally be together. Usually I don't care about stuff like this, but I found it enjoyable here.
I could go on and on. I haven't even touched on the cool 60s set design, the opening theme song, or the incredible lighting/cinematography. I keep saying this, but it all worked on me. Overall, The Green Slime is one of the most entertaining films I've seen in a long, long time. Given the joy it brought me, I feel good about the 9/10 rating I've given the film.
9/10
-
Berlino appuntamento per le spie (Operazione Polifemo)
"The eye! I'll be damned.", 26 September 2017
American spies are trying to locate and rescue the daughter of a dead nuclear scientist. It's believed she may have some of his secrets. The Russians also want to the woman and are somehow able to thwart the Americans at every turn. But how? How do the Russians know what the Americans are doing? Is there a double agent? Or is it something else?
I love Eurospy films from the 60s. So it really pains me to discover a new one that doesn't click for me. Spy in Your Eye includes a lot of the things I look for in a Eurospy film, so it should have worked. The movie features some fantastic European locations, a cool jazzy/loungey spy score, a nice cast (Brett Halsey, Pier Angell, and the incredible Gastone Moschine), a cool secret lair with lots of moving parts, and a fantastical plot device – the bionic eye. However, even though all the ingredients are here, it never really works as well as it should. The reason – I blame the mess of a plot. There are ideas and threads going in all different directions, but none of it ever feels like a coherent story. About half way through, I forgot all about the woman with the nuclear secrets. I couldn't remember what Halsey and Co were trying to do. I just seemed like everyone was doing the most random things. Like the Chinese spy shooting the parade float with the camera-gun. Why? And the ending felt awfully rushed. The movie just ends without much in the way of a resolution. What happened to Dana Andrew's eye? How did Halsey and Angell suddenly end up together? What happened to the rest of the Russian operatives? Where did the Chinese spies go? What happened to the crazy Napoleon statue? There are too many unanswered questions.
Another thing that bothered me about Spy in Your Eye was how underutilized the titular eye was. I would have thought the screenplay would have included a more elaborate use of the spy-eye to trick or set a trap for the baddies. The eye is just sort of forgotten about.
4/10
Chuck's "first" movie, 26 September 2017
IMDb's plot summary for Breaker! Breaker! Is short and sweet – "Truck driver searches for his brother, who has disappeared in a town run by a corrupt judge." There's really not much more that needs to be said about the plot. Chuck Norris goes looking for his brother, discovers he disappeared in a backwoods town, kicks everyone in sight, calls his trucker buddies to bust up the buildings, rescues his bother. That's it. There are no twists or turns or other surprises. Breaker! Breaker! moves from point A to point B in the straightest line imaginable. If the writers spent more than 30 minutes on the script, they were wasting their time. For me, Breaker! Breaker! is predictable, silly, and not a lot of fun.
Watching Breaker! Breaker!, it's difficult to believe that Norris would go on to have the film career he did. Other than kicking a few dudes, Norris doesn't offer much. He was never an award quality actor, but some of his films are at least entertaining. Even some of his early films are fun – I especially enjoy Silent Rage. I say this to point out that I'm not a hater – I just don't enjoy this movie.
Two things that I did, however, enjoy were the performances of George Murdock and Jack Nance. Murdock's over-the-top portrayal of Judge Joshua Trimmings is one of the few highlights. And Jack Nance is always a lot of fun. It's a shame these guys are wasted in this turkey of a film.
3/10
Psycho-Rama - what a lame idea., 24 September 2017
Sheila Wayne (Kathy O'Donnell) has reoccurring dreams about an old, foreboding house. Recently married, she and her new husband move to Florida. Their house . . . well, it's the house of her nightmares. She quickly learns that this house is a place of evil, a place where bad things have happened. But how did Kathy end up in this house? How is it that her husband just happened to find this house? Who's crazy, who's sane, and what actually happened in the house?
Terror in the Haunted House (or My World Dies Screaming - which i prefer) is like cross between Hitchcock's Rebecca and the dreadful The Screaming Skull. Unforutnatley, our movie has more in common with the latter than it does Hitchcock's masterpiece. I'll start by saying it's not the worst movie in the world. This isn't much of an endorsement, but you could certainly do a whole lot worse. But make not mistake, it's still pretty bad. Here's a quick list of some of the things that bothered me:
1. Sheila Wayne - The screaming got old real quick. And for a woman in peril, she's not very sympathetic. After a while, I didn't care what happened to her. She was just so annoying and stupid.
2. Acting - Some of it is plain old bad. In particular, William Ching gives a totally wooden and unnatural performance. No one talks like that in real life.
3. Gerald Mohr - He's a decent enough actor, but he's miscast here. The New York accent really got in the way. No way was I buying the notion he grew up in Florida.
4. Predictable - The director does everything he can to throw the viewer off the track regarding who's crazy and who's not. But it's all so obvious that it backfires. I could spot the baddie almost immediately.
5. Psycho-Rama - Was William Castle associated with this movie? The constant subliminal images were about as annoying as Sheila Wayne.
With all the problems I had with the movie, I think I'm being generous in rating Terror in the Haunted Hiuse a 4/10.
4/10
Element 112, 24 September 2017
Dr. David Conway (William Leslie), with the assistance of Laura "Hutch" Hutchinson (Kathryn Grant), is in a race to stop a series of earthquakes that threaten the entire world. It seems that a newly discovered element, Element 112, expands and explodes when dry and mixed with nitrogen. And, because of mining and oil exploration, Element 112 is making its way to the Earth's surface.
By no means is The Night the World Exploded a great film, but I found it reasonably entertaining. It's slow, lacks big-budget special effects, and the lead is a bit dry, but it's got something about it that worked for me. The sci-fi elements are presented believably enough to be effective. And there's some nice slow-burn suspense that's built throughout that worked on me. Other aspects that helped the film include a perky female lead in Kathryn Grant, real life disaster footage nicely blended into the film, and a short runtime.
I called William Leslie "dry", but it's not just him, it's his character also. I know his Dr Conway is a driven professional, but come on - how could not not see Hutch has feelings for him? It's not until the world is about to end that he pays any notice to her. What a dolt!
5/10
