The Witchmaker (1969)

A load of atmostphere that doesn't work as well as it should, 5 January 2018

Dr Ralph Hayes (Alvy Moore) leads a group of psychic researchers into the wilds of a Louisiana swamp. A series of murders has Hayes thinking there might be a witch operating in the swamp. One of his team, Anastasia (Thordis Brandt), is a sensitive - someone tuned to picking up psychic impulses. Hayes hopes she will be able to lead them to the witch. But the local witch, Luther the Berserk (John Lodge), has his own plans. He wants Anastasia in his coven. He starts killing off Hayes' team one-by-one. Can Hayes and Co save Anastasia and the rest of their group? 

The Witchmaker isn't what I'd call a good movie in the traditional sense, but it is reasonably effective and enjoyable if you're into this kind of thing. The biggest plus The Witchmaker has going for it is atmosphere. At times, the atmosphere is palatable. The isolation, the creepy swamp, the Satanic trappings, and the even the low budget look of the film - all worked on me and filled me with a real sense of unease. If there's one thing that really creeps me out, it's low-budget Satanic mumbo-jumbo. Also, I thought John Lodge was particularly effective as Luther. He uses his size to his advantage as he attacks the members of Hayes' group. It's a really frightening visage.

As my rating indicates, the movie isn't perfect to me. The biggest issue I have is Alvy Moore. The problem is that as long as I've been alive, Alvy Moore has always been Hank Kimble from Green Acres. You see, not only is Green Acres on of my two or three favorite television shows, but the stammering, forgetful Kimble is my favorite character. I can't look at the man and not think of Kimble. So when, as Dr Hayes, he's trying to give some sort of scientific explanation to what's happening, it doesn't work. It sounds so silly coming out of Alvy Moore's mouth. I complimented the film's atmosphere, but unfortunately, Alvy Moore ruins whatever atmosphere the film has built up at that point. He goes off-screen, things get creepy. He comes back, not so creepy. It's too bad for The Witchmaker that Alvy Moore was so good at playing light, zany comedy.


5/10

Xena "Chariots of War" #1.2 (1995) (TV)

"I'm not very good at this horse thing!", 4 January 2018

Xena is injured trying to defend a group of non-violent farmers. She's nursed back to health by Darius and his family. The local warlord says he wants peace, but Xena smells a trap. She's allowed to attend the peace meeting, but only if she leaves her weapons behind. As she suspected, the meeting is a hoax and she's forced to fight empty-handed. But the local warlord's son really does want peace. He must defy his ruthless father's wishes, though, if he is to be successful. 

What an odd second episode. Xena and Gabrielle have just formed a friendship / partnership when Xena leaves her behind. You'd have thought the people behind the show would have used this episode to cement their bond. Weird. Being left on her on, Gabrielle gets up to all sort of hijinks in a local tavern - most of it is just plain annoying. It's like they weren't sure what to do with Gabrielle in these initial episodes. The fight scenes here are better than the first episode, but still a long way from what you see later in the series. The quick relationship between Darius and Xena is actually nice. There's some real chemistry at work. Very nice. The final showdown, complete with chariot chase, is the episode's highlight. There's some excellent camerawork on display. Overall, however, despite what I've written, I rate this one a very average 5/10. As I've indicated, it has its moments and I might have rated it higher, but the overall plot here is fairly routine.

5/10

Xena "Sins of the Past" #1.1 (1995) (TV)

"Shut up! I hate chatty food.", 4 January 2018

I suppose that Episode 1 does exactly what a first episode should do - set-up the series for the episodes to come. I had forgotten all about Xena's introduction. We first see her coming over a misty hill on her horse, framed by two trees. Nice shot. We quickly learn that Xena has experienced a change of heart and wants to go home and right old wrongs. In wrestling terms, it's a face turn. Gabrielle's introduction isn't so memorable. She's been taken hostage by some baddies. When we first see her, she's uber-annoying. In fact, she's annoyingly needy throughout this episode. Like I said, it's not the best introduction.

As for the rest of Sins of the Past, if it weren't the first episode, it would hardly be memorable. Xena is pitted against what we are told is an old foe / would-be lover named Draco. He wants her to join him and his army. He threatens her home with destruction if she doesn't. The final fight scene is good, but not great. We are, however, introduced to the Xena style of fighting that carries forward throughout the series. It's a fighting style where physics hardly matter. Xena and Draco are both shown walking on the townspeople's heads. In the real world, this would undoubtedly cause injury to the people doing the walking or the people being walked on. Not here. Xena even uses a couple of people as springboards, doing a flip off their heads. You have to accept it or you'll have problems with a lot of what's to come. 


Anyway, a decent start to a fantastic series. It's not as spectacular as most of the rest of the series, so I feel comfortable giving it a slightly above average 6/10.

6/10

Arrivederci, Baby! (1966)

Mildly amusing . . . but troubling, 3 January 2018

Tony Curtis is Nick Johnson, a man who uses his irresistible charm to use women to his personal, financial gain. He goes through a string of women whose untimely deaths give Johnson more wealth than he could earn on his own (at least with the same, minimal effort). He meets his match in wealthy, young, beautiful, fabulously gorgeous widow Francesca di Rienzi (Rosanna Schiaffino). The problem is he actually finds himself falling in love with her.

My 5/10 rating should indicate that I found Arrivederci, Baby! mildly amusing. I wasn't rolling in the floor laughing, but most of the movie is at least passable entertainment at its worst. The final act where Curtis and Schiaffino go toe-to-toe is the film's highlight. They're on equal footing. With most of the other women, Curtis has the upper-hand before they realize they're being had. It's not fair. I think my favorite bits might have been either the croquet match or dance floor fight scenes - really good stuff. Other than the creepy bits where Curtis tries to play a "boy", he's good. I didn't care for the instances where he breaks the fourth wall, but that's not his fault. Schiaffino is in fine form. What a woman! After I watched her in The Witch, I wrote, "I don't know where these Italian producers found these incredible women. It's not a stretch of the imagination to believe Schiaffino could force any man to fall for her." I could say exactly the same after watching this film.

I've already mentioned my problem with Curtis as a "boy", but I had other issues with his NIck Johnson. I get the feeling that Arrivederci, Baby! was meant to be a light-hearted romp. But there's a really dark undercurrent that I found troubling. Johnson isn't just a typical, loveable con-artist stealing money from rich women. He's also a murderer and a rapist. Not the characteristics you find in most rom-coms. 

A couple of final points: 1. The European locations are to die for in this movie. And here, they're presented in all their 60s glory. What visions! 2. The supporting cast is especially strong. Lionel Jeffries, Zsa Zsa Gabor (yes, even Zsa Zsa), Nancy Kwan, and especially Anna Quayle add a lot of flavor and variety to the film.

5/10