Santa’s Summer House (2012)

Who thought this was a good idea?, 15 November 2019

What a load of garbage!  I don’t understand how films like this get made.  Who thought a movie like Santa’s Summer House was a good idea?  Did anyone involved in the making of Santa’s Summer House think it was going to be a quality movie?  Is the straight-to-video market so lucrative that trash like this actually makes money? So many questions that I couldn’t care less to learn the answers to.  

There’s really no point in listing all the bad aspects of Santa’s Summer House.  Everything about it is bottom-of-the barrel. The plot is beyond ridiculous, most of the acting is horrendous (Christopher Mitchum proves yet again that acting ability isn’t inherited), the lighting is gawdy, and the sound is so poor you can hear echoes anytime a character walks across the tile floor.  The plot has a message that’s pretty decent, but it’s handled so annoyingly hamfisted that it loses much of its effectiveness. The entire time I was watching, I was just hoping and praying that 90s martial art icon (am I overstating it?) Cynthia Rothrock would do some sort of spinning-scorpion-five-finger-Shaolin-death-kick on the rest of the cast.  

If it’s so bad, then why haven’t I rated it lower?  Well, as bad as it is, it’s not unwatchable. There are a boatload of movies out there much worse than this.  And, like I said, it does have a decent message. Finally, I’ll give it a point for hilariously casting Rothrock in the role of Nanna, Santa’s wife.  

3/10

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

“Ten years ago, he tried to kill Laurie Strode. Now he wants her daughter.”  15 November 2019

The quote I used as a title for this pretty well summarizes the plot.  Michael Myers escapes, heads back to Haddonfield, and goes on a killing spree while searching for his niece.

Until the other night, I hadn’t seen Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers in years, but it’s much better than I remember.  Of all of the sequels in the original Halloween line, this one might just be the best. I know a lot of people prefer Halloween II or H2O, but for me, this one comes closest to capturing the spirit of the original.  Halloween 4 has a similar feel to it with plenty of atmosphere and chills. The scenes of Michael stalking Jamie and Rachel are especially creepy. As with the first film, for whatever reason, I find the daytime stalking scenes incredibly effective.  And the rooftop escape sequence near the end is just plain old thrilling. Halloween 4 features a nice cast - better than you’ll find in the average Halloween sequel. Donald Pleasence gives his usual over-the-top, but totally enjoyable performance. Young Danielle Harris, in her first real role, is a stand-out.  She may be the best thing Halloween 4 has going for it. She’s that good. The rest of the cast, including Ellie Cornell and Beau Starr, is very strong. While I do have some issues with the plot - the notion of transporting Michael at night in a driving thunderstorm, a niece Michael knows nothing about until he accidentally over-hears someone talking about her, Michael’ ability to walk / drive around town without drawing attention to himself, etc - it’s nowhere near as whacky and off-the-rails as the sequels to follow.  Plus, there’s none of the Thorn nonsense that’s introduced in Part 5. It may seem petty, I guess one of my biggest complaints with Halloween 4 is that awful looking mask. The white is so bright, it pretty much glows. And what’s with the hair? Looks like someone used a tub of pomade to smooth it down.  

Overall, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers is worthy successor to the original.  While it never reaches that level of brilliance, it’s far superior to a lot of the dreck that followed.

7/10