Tamara (2005)

“Sorry Mrs. Natolly.  Tamara wants you dead.” 20 August 2019

The Quick Pitch:  After being killed in prank gone wrong, wannabe witch Tamara returns from the grave to (1) seek revenge on those who bullied her and (2) find love with her English teacher. 

Watching Tamara, I was reminded of several other, better horror movies – specifically, Carrie, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and Jennifer’s Body.  It’s not that Tamara is bad, but it’s not nearly as good as any of the other films I mentioned. It seems that for every good thing I could write about Tamara, there’s something equally bad.  I’ll cite three examples of what I’m talking about. First, take the acting – Jenna Dewan in the title role is quite good. She’s equally impressive as the meek, picked-on Tamara as she is the confident, sexy Tamara.  However, I can’t say the same about much of the rest of the cast. Some of the acting is downright painful to watch. 

Another example where good and bad aspects of the film negate each other is in the plot.  The revenge-from-the-grave storyline has been done to death. You can find examples going back to the earliest days of film.  Conversely, Tamara also features some really interesting plot elements. For example, using her new found powers, Tamara forces a girl who is obsessively concerned about her weight to actually gnaw on her own hands.  It’s pretty gross, but a nice touch. 

One last example I’ll cite are the death scenes.  There’s one death early on where Tamara forces a classmate to commit suicide on camera in front of the whole school.  If you’re squeamish, best look away. It’s difficult to watch. Compare that with the final death scene. I’m not going to go into detail and spoil the ending, but it’s pretty lame in comparison.

This is one of those cases where the good and bad pretty much balance each other out.  There are things I liked (some of the plot elements, some of the acting, and some of the death scenes – for example), but there were other things that didn’t really work for me (some of the plot elements, some of the acting, and some of the death scenes – for example).  As a result, a 5/10 seems about right.

5/10

Diamonds Are a Man's Best Friend (1966)

- Ray Master l'inafferrabile

I’m still shaking my head in disbelief, 19 August 2019

The Quick Pitch:  A thief comes up with an elaborate scheme to rob a diamond valued at $1 billion from a heavily guarded museum in Thailand. 

Diamonds are a Man’s Best Friend is the kind of 60s heist movie I usually go for.  European and other exotic locations, a well-crafted scheme, reasonably good acting, a groovy 60s soundtrack, and plenty of twists and turns along the way – that’s what you find in a lot of my favorite heist movies.  And while you get a lot of that in Diamonds Are a Man’s Best Friend, what it lacks is believability. The movie features one of the most ridiculous looking robberies ever put on film. It all starts to go horribly wrong about half-way through the heist.  Earlier in the movie, the characters had mentioned something about a vacuum, but when I, as a viewer, saw exactly what the thieves were up to, I had to laugh in disbelief. I thought they planned to use a vacuum to extract the diamond from the room where it was kept.  I had no idea they intended to create / build a vacuum in the museum room so they could fly overhead and pluck the diamond from its resting spot. I’m not a scientist, but I’m confident this wouldn’t work the way it’s presented. What about gravity? And even if it would, watching the robber float about the room in what amounts to a spacesuit is mind-bogglingly stupid.  The movie does redeem itself in the last act, but the damage had already been done.

4/10

Maisie Was a Lady (1941)

My favorite so far, 19 August 2019

The Quick Pitch:  Thanks to a drunk millionaire, Maisie Ravier finds herself out of work once again.  To repay her, her hires her on as a maid. Maisie soon discovers that the family needs more attention than the house.

I’ve only see four of these movies, but Maisie Was a Lady might be my favorite so far.  This was Ann Sothern’s fourth Maisie film and director Edwin Marin’s third. By this point, they knew what they were doing.  They both understood what made Maisie work. Maisie Was a Lady features a very strong and capable supporting cast. I’m a bit shocked that actors like Lew Ayers and Marueen O’Sullivan appeared in secondary roles in a Maisie film. They were real pros.  Also in the cast is C Aubrey Smith. Some of his scenes with Sothern are the highlights of the movie. Whether arguing about Maisie’s jewelry or how to address the family, the two worked incredibly well together. The plot is a bit predictable. Has anyone ever watched Maisie Was a Lady and not predicted how things would end up for her?  Finally, the movie looks great. I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before, but sets, lighting, and cinematography are all better than expected. Given the fact that these weren’t big budget affairs, MGM certainly got a lot of bang for their buck. 

My biggest gripe with Maisie Was a Lady has to be the serious tone of much of the movie.  I’ve come to think of Maisie as rather light-hearted, fluffy entertainment. Topics like alcoholism and suicide aren’t what I expect.  

7/10

It Takes a Thief "The Lay of the Land" #1.16 (1968) (TV)

Worth watching just for Hermione Gingold, 16 August 2019

The Quick Pitch:  Mundy’s mission is to steal an aging duchess’ manuscript which may contain information sensitive or embarrassing to the West.  However, there are other unfriendly operatives working to get their hands on the document first.

What a great way to round out Season 1!  The Lay of the Land is such a fun episode.  Mundy gets to go through his entire arsenal of tricks, from safecracking and fighting to schmoozing the ladies.  The entire episode is packed with one nice scene after the other. Director Don Weis does an excellent job of holding it all together and keeping the pace up for the entire runtime.  Easily one of the shining stars of Season 1.

But what really sets The Lay of the Land apart from some of the other episodes is the supporting cast – in particular Hermione Gingold.  She is an absolute delight as Duchess Christina. What an actress! Eccentric and funny with a sparkle in her eye and a smile on her face – she brings real life to the episode.  Everyone else, including Robert Wagner, comes off poorly in comparison. Ms Gingold is something of a force of nature and gives one of the more enjoyable performances I’ve seen in the series thus far. 

7/10

Gold Rush Maisie (1940)

Maisie does The Grapes of Wrath, 15 August 2019

The Quick Pitch:  On her way to a gig in Phoenix, Maisie’s car breaks down in the middle of the desert.  She finds herself stranded in an old mining town. When gold is rediscovered, Maisie helps a dirt poor family in their attempt to strike it rich.

I’ve got to agree with what a lot of others have written on the internet - Gold Rush Maisie definitely has a Grapes of Wrath feel to it.  For me, that’s one of the films biggest flaws. I enjoy these Maisie films for their comedy and ridiculousness. And while Ann Southern gets in a good one-liner here and there, the overall tone is terribly somber.  When you’re dealing with dirt farmers who have no idea where their next meal is going to come from, laughing at Maisie’s hijinks just doesn’t feel right. Gold Rush Maisie wasn’t the kind of entertainment I was expecting or looking for.

My other big complaint is with the ranch owner, Bill Anders, played by Lee Bowman.  My problem Isn’t with Bowman (in fact, there’s something about him that I like more than any of the other male leads Sothern played opposite in the first three Maisie films).  Instead, my problem is with the character, Lee Anders. One minute, he’s in love with Maisie – the next, he can’t stand her. One minute, he wants to help the farmers – the next, he wants to throw them off his land.  The wild swings the character goes through make no sense at all. It’s a pretty poor job of writing. 

So far, all I’ve talked about are the negatives.  Based on my rating, it should be obvious that I didn’t find Gold Rush Maisie a total wash-out.  When the script allows Maisie to be Maisie, those moments really shine. Southern is such a joy to watch as Maisie with her perfect comedic timing and infectious nature.  Maisie is always a treat.

5/10

The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries "Will the Real Santa Claus...?" #2.12 (1977) (TV)

I may have to stop watching this show, 14 August 2019

The Quick Pitch:  A series of robberies is blamed on a drifter who claims to be Santa Claus.  Nancy Drew sets out to find the real criminal. 

I really hope that the rest of The Hardy Boys / Nancy Drew Mysteries episodes are better than the last two I’ve watched.  After back-to-back duds, I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. There are so many problems I could write about, but my single biggest issue with Will the Real Santa Claus…? is the plot.  It’s just so stupid. The entire series is based on either Nancy or the Hardys using real clues, logic, and science to solve their mysteries. That all gets chucked out of the window. Here, with a completely straight face, we are supposed to believe that this hobo really is Santa Claus.  His disappearances in front of witnesses, the sleigh tracks in the snow, and the constant references to his life as Santa are all too much. It’s horrible writing. Add to that some painfully stiff acting on the part of guest Rick Springfield, the worst ADR imaginable, and a secondary plot that never goes anywhere, Will the Real Santa Claus…? is easily one of the worst episodes I’ve run into so far.

Looking back on what I just watched, I really can’t come up with many positives.  I suppose I did enjoy the scene where Nancy is chased through the house by the real robber.  It’s a fairly tense moment. Equally enjoyable were Pamela Sue Martin’s skin-tight jeans. They’re definitely worth mentioning. 

3/10

Congo Maisie (1940)

Loved the showgirl routine,  14 August 2019

The Quick Pitch:  Maisie finds herself stranded in an African jungle.  If that’s not bad enough, Maisie will have to use all her skills as a showgirl to deal with the local witchdoctors. 

Watching Congo Maisie can be a bit jarring at first as there is no continuity from Maisie, the first film in the series.  Well, actually there’s no continuity other than Ann Sothern in the title role. Here, she’s just as delightful, energetic, cute, and funny.  Maisie is a fantastic character and Sothern plays her perfectly. Sothern’s comedic time is in top form. In Congo Maisie she even gets a chance to do a bit of her showgirl routine.  The final scene where she does her song and dance number for the dazzled and confused natives is a real highlight. Funny stuff. The supporting cast is decent enough, but no one really stood out.  As with Maisie, Congo Maisie moves at a relatively good pace throughout most of the movie. The exception is when the film gets bogged down in its romance angle. Unfortunately, in Congo Maisie, it’s a poorly written love triangle (a love square might be more appropriate) that annoyed me more than anything.  Still, this bit couldn’t ruin the overall film. Congo Maisie is a winner. 

7/10