Tarzan’s Desert Mystery (1943)

“Cut it out!  You’re queerin’ my pitch!” 4 September 2019

The Quick Pitch:  Tarzan sets out across the desert in search of medicinal plants.  Along the way, he’s accused of stealing a horse, meets a woman accused of murder, gets tangled up with Nazis, and runs into some rather large, menacing creatures.

It’s not that Tarzan’s Desert Mystery is a bad, unwatchable movie, it’s just that it’s not a very good movie and below the standard of the usual Tarzan effort.  The desert town Tarzan visits feels all wrong. It’s inhabited by too many “white” faces. I’m not buying Joe Sawyer, Lloyd Corrigan, and Robert Lowery as desert sheiks and princes.  There’s also too much of an emphasis placed of comedy. Whether it’s Cheetah stealing turbans or camel porters pulling faces, it makes for a rather silly movie – not what I’m looking for in a Tarzan film.  While I did get a kick out of the giant spider, the lizard fight sequences are out of place. I know they came from a cheap sci-fi film I’ve seen before, I can’t remember which, though. Nancy Kelly’s Connie Bryce is another unwelcome distraction.  I generally don’t like to call anything “outdated”, but her 1940s shtick is beyond annoying. Look at the quote I used as a title for this as proof. I won’t go further, but I could easily cite several other issues I had with Tarzan’s Desert Mystery.

Before I end this, I think it’s worth mentioning Otto Kruger as the film’s main baddie.  He’s a real bright spot in what is otherwise a lackluster affair.

5/10

The Disembodied (1957)

Dull and unbelievable, 3 September 2019

The Quick Pitch:  A three-man film crew seeks out the only white doctor in the jungle when one of their party is savagely attacked by a lion.  But when the injured man is all but healed the next day, is it some sort of new medicine or something else more sinister like voodoo? 

Two problems quickly reared their head while I watched The Disembodied.  First, it’s as dull as dishwater. Not even Allison Hayes’ voodoo inspired gyrations could save the film.  With a runtime of about 66 minutes it overstays its welcome by about an hour. Second, it’s all so horribly unbelievable.  Here’s a quick list of five examples:

- The notion of Hayes being a voodoo priestess in the middle of an African jungle.
- The plastic, stage-bound jungle sets.
- The African tribe made up of individuals from at least three different ethnicities. 
- The voodoo ceremony - Hayes dances, someone throws a chicken at her feet, - and voila – magic.
- The unconvincing acting and ever-changing character motivations.  

I know The Disembodied has a few fans around the internet, but as should be obvious, I’m not one.

2/10

It Takes a Thief “The Bill Is in Committee” #2.3 (1968) (TV)

Mundy doesn’t get the girl – he gets two girls, 30 August 2019

Mundy’s mission is the steal compromising negatives from a ruthless dictator’s personal safe.  He goes undercover is a famous magician. The problem, though, is that Mundy doesn’t know any magic.

The Bill is in Committee is another solid, entertaining episode that features a lot of what I enjoy about It Takes a Thief.  The episode includes a good amount of Mundy doing thief/spy type stuff – something I always enjoy. Mundy is faced with more real danger than usual.  Paz, the dictator, takes great pleasure in personally dispatching an anti-government threat. However, on the whole, I was little put-off by Roger Carmel as Paz.  He played him a little too broadly and with a touch too much humor. Carmel just didn’t seem right for the part. Still, it wasn’t enough to ruin the episode. While we’re accustomed to seeing Mundy get the girl, here, he gets two.  Yvonne Craig as Roxanne, the magician’s assistant, was a real treat. Craig had an infectious personality that really comes out in her scenes. How can one person be so cute and bubbly? The finale, with the mix of magic and safecracking, was well done.  It actually made for an anxious moment or two as I watched.  

7/10

Gambit (1966)

“I suppose this is the end of a beautiful friendship.” 29 August 2019

From IMDb:   “An English cat burglar needs a Eurasian dancer's help to pull off the perfect heist, but even the most foolproof schemes have a way of backfiring.”

Instead of trying to write my own plot description, I’ve gone with the one from IMDb.  I watched Gambit completely blind and I think everyone deserves that opportunity. Not that I think anyone will read or care what I write, but on the off chance someone does, I don’t want to be the cause of any spoilers. 

As should be obvious by my rating, I absolutely adored Gambit.  Just about everything worked perfectly for me. Director Ronald Neame expertly crafted a film that engrossed and entertained me from beginning to end.  The pacing couldn’t be better. The film has an unusual structure that I found intriguing. While watching the movie, at about the 30 minute mark, everything you think you understand gets turned upside down.  And that’s not the last of the plot twists. Gambit’s clever script features several well-played swerves that I honestly didn’t see coming. It’s a fantastic piece of writing. Speaking of fantastic, that describes Shirley McClaine and Michael Caine.  The pair have definite chemistry and make the most of it. McClaine is simply mesmerizing during those first 30 minutes I mentioned earlier. The supporting cast is more than capable, with notable performances from John Abbott and Herbert Lom. Technically, I found Gambit flawless – cinematography, set design, music, and costume design (McClaine looks absolutely fabulous) are all as good as you’ll find.  I’m not surprised to discover the film’s art direction and costume design were nominated for an Oscar. There’s really no end to the positives I could write about.

My only quibble with Gambit and the thing that keeps me from rating it a 10/10 is the rather suddenness of what I call “the romance stuff”.  Okay, it’s not like I didn’t see it coming. It’s not a spoiler to say that I knew from the beginning that Caine and McClaine’s characters would end up together.  But their out-of-the-blue proclamations of love were a bit jarring. Regardless, Gambit is a wonderful movie and one I can’t wait to revisit again and again. 

9/10

The Fat Man: The Thirty-Two Friends of Gina Lardelli (1959) (TV)

Lucius Crane was quite an interesting character, 28 August 2019

The Quick Pitch:  Model Gina Lardelli is found dead in her apartment.  The police rule her death a suicide. Detective Lucius Crane is hired to prove Ms Lardelli was, in fact, murdered.  Soon after taking the case, several attempts are made to put Crane off the scent.  Crane is convinced he’s on the right track.

I ran across this obscure little TV movie last night and decided to give it a go.  Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed The Fat Man: The Thirty-Two Friends of Gina Lardelli (or The Fan Man for the rest of this).  Even though I guessed the outcome about half-way through, it was still a joy to watch Robert Middleton as Lucius Crane figure things out.  Middleton’s Crane is an eccentric, mannered, thoughtful character. He’s a man of many talents, including being accomplished chef and a competent harpsichordist, but equally adept with his fists when it comes to it.  Middleton brought real life to this well-written character. The Fat Man’s plot is engaging with about three different threads going on at the same time – a drowned hoodlum with a slot machine tied to his feet, a party at a mobster’s house, and poor, dead Gina.  It’s interesting to watch director Joseph Lewis bring it all together into a satisfying conclusion. The supporting cast is strong and includes a very young Rita Moreno as the titular Gina Lardelli.

The Fat Man was the pilot for a potential series that never went anywhere.  I wished it had been picked up. It would have been nice to see more.

7/10

The Scarlet Claw (1944)

“Sit down, old fellow.  Judge Brisson has decided not to shoot us.” 27 August 2019

The Quick Pitch:  Holmes decides to investigate a murder in a small Canadian town.  A woman’s throat has been slashed – in the same manner as a number of sheep in the area.  The locals tell a story of strange lights and a monster living on the bog. Holmes is, quite naturally, skeptical of these stories. 

I think The Scarlet Claw might be my favorite of the Rathbone Sherlock Holmes films.  The movie’s plot is engaging enough with plenty of twists and turns. I usually don’t go for films where characters are in disguise, but it didn’t bother me much here.  The regulars, Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce, are in fine form. By 1944, they knew their respective roles and how to play them. Rathbone and Bruce have a nice supporting cast to work with, including Gerald Hamer, Paul Cavanagh, and Ian Wolfe giving solid performances.  The film looks fantastic – as did most all of Universals output from the 40s. Cinematography easily gets an A+. The sets contribute a great deal to the film’s look. The Penrose House, for example, with the amazing stone work is absolutely stunning. Universal had to have used these sets in other films.  They’re too nice to have been created just for this movie. But the thing that sets The Scarlet Claw apart from the rest of the series is atmosphere. Director Roy William Neill wrings every last drop of atmosphere he could muster out of the film. The Scarlet Claw is creepier than most traditional horror movies of the period.  The dark bogs, the abandoned hotel, and the genuine fear on the faces of the townspeople - it’s like something out of a Frankenstein film. Overall, a very solid effort.

8/10

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

A silly movie with little entertainment value, 27 August 2019

The Quick Pitch:  Jason follows and butchers the local high school graduating class on their trip to Manhattan. 

Re-watching Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (or JTM for short) last night, I realized I had completely forgotten most of the movie’s details.  I suppose that’s a good thing, because when a movie is this horrifically bad, it’s probably best to put it out of mind. There’s really not much here to enjoy - characters with zero depth (less than usual in a Friday movie), lame attempts at humor, an inappropriate score, ridiculous dialogue, horrible acting, and not a single scare in sight.  But I suppose the two things I disliked the most were the setting and Jason. I didn’t mind the boat/ship stuff as much as most people, but Manhattan – how stupid. Jason is a feral, forest being. Take him out of the woods and it just doesn’t feel right. My complaint with Jason is that in JTM, he’s given the power to “teleport” far greater than we’ve seen in past movies.  There’s a scene where a character gets clear of Jason. She’s way ahead of him. Looking over her shoulder (at Jason trailing behind, I presume), she quickly climbs a ladder. Immediately, Jason throws her through a window. How’d he get up there that fast?    

Honestly, I could go on and on.  But really, what’s the point? It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.  Overall, a silly movie with little entertainment value. I may need to revisit Part V.  I don’t remember it being this bad.

3/10