Swamp Thing (1982)

See Barbeau Run, 9 October 2005

In a secret research facility in the middle of the swamp, Dr. Alex Holland is working on an experiment to combine plant and animal DNA. Alice Cable (Adrienne Barbeau) has been sent by the government to help with security. But when the evil Dr. Arcane's men storm to lab trying to get hold of Dr. Holland's work, the results are explosive, literally. Through a chemical reaction, Dr. Holland is transformed into the Swamp Thing. Now, Cable, with the help of the Swamp Thing, must keep the formula out of Dr. Arcane's hands.

I don't know why I insist on re-watching this movie every few years. It's not going to get any better. In fact, I enjoy it less and less with each successive viewing. Once you've seen the laughable creature design, once you've seen Barbeau being captured, once you've seen Dr. Arcane's transformation, once you've seen Barbeau run through the swamp in a wet t-shirt, and once you've seen the final showdown (which happens to be one of the most ridiculous things ever caught on film), there's really no reason to watch it again. One viewing should be enough for any masochist.

The biggest problem with Swamp Thing is the plot – or should I say the lack of a plot. The whole "keep the formula from Dr. Arcane" idea is merely window dressing for what I see as the main theme running through the movie – the rescue of Barbeau. At least 90% of the movie's runtime is devoted to the Swamp Thing rescuing Barbeau from Arcane's men. And Barbeau's rescue is repeated over and over and over…. It's a bit like the bad, humid version of Groundhog Day.

So, why don't I rate it lower? There are a few set pieces that really work. The first 15 minutes or so (the period before Barbeau needs to be rescued) is nice. Also, the movie is beautifully shot. You can compare it with another of Craven's films, think of The Hills Have Eyes – only in reverse. Where that movie was shot in such a way that you could almost feel the dry, hot California desert, with Swamp Thing, you can all but feel the humid, dank swamp.

4/10