Jungle Warriors (1984)

A real letdown, 25 July 2019

The Quick Pitch:  A group of models headed to South America for a photoshoot are shot down while flying too low over a cocaine plantation.  The women are imprisoned, tortured, and raped. They make their inevitable escape only to interrupt a high-level confab between the drug runners and the mafia.  Much gunfire and bloodshed ensues.

Let me start this by saying that I’m usually a fan of WIP films – I love most of the stuff Pam Grier and Co were churning out in the 70s.  Also, I realize that I watched a butchered version of Jungle Warriors. I know that lots of what most people call the good bits you find in a WIP were cut out.  However, I’m not really sure any of the excised footage would change my opinion. Jungle Warriors is just too slow and predictable to be entertaining. I was bored out of my mind throughout most of the film.  Throw in some pathetic acting, poor special effects, and lazy fight choreography and you end up with a real dud.  

With that being said, one of the bigger issues I have with Jungle Warriors is the underutilization of Sybil Danning.  When you watch a movie with Sybil Danning so prominently featured on the box/poster artwork, you want to see a movie with Sybil Danning.  She’s barely in the thing (at least my cut). And when she is, she really doesn’t do much of anything. 

As bad as the movie is, I did get a chuckle watching Paul L Smith do some serious running.  I doubt he ever moved that fast in the rest of his entire life. Overall though, a real letdown from start to finish.

3/10