Wicked Stepmother (1989)

“It didn’t work, did it, Dorothy?  This is reality, not MGM!”, 20 May 2020

Writing a plot summary for this one is difficult.  If you’re unfamiliar with the movie, Wicked Stepmother’s star, Bette Davis, left after several days of shooting.  The script was rewritten, creating a fairly disjointed experience.  Because of that, I’ll just try to go through some “highlights” of the plot.  Miranda (Bette Davis), a chain-smoking witch, marries Sam (Lionel Sander) while his daughter, Jenny (Colleen Camp), is on vacation.  Miranda turns the house upside down, making Jenny’s life miserable in the process.  But just as you’re getting accustomed to Miranda and her witchy doings, she disappears and is replaced by her daughter, Priscilla (Barbara Carrera).  Priscilla continues the reign of terror.  Can Jenny put a stop to Priscilla before her whole family is destroyed?

If the stories I’ve read are true, I don’t blame Bette Davis one bit for walking out on Wicked Stepmother.  It’s pretty much a gigantic mess of a film.  The script is a disastrous jumble of poorly thought out ideas, some of the acting is incredibly weak, most of the comedy doesn’t work, and the special effects are as lame as you can find.  Why would someone of Ms Davis’ stature want to be involved in something like this?  The scenes in which she does appear, however, are easily the best part of the film.  Even in her last, admittedly limited role, she plays “catty” as well as anyone who ever appeared on screen.  

I’m sure that a lot of the issues I have with Wicked Stepmother come from director Larry Cohen’s efforts to save the film after he lost Ms Davis.  And while there are moments here and there that worked for me (the bits with the stunning Barbara Carrera and Lionel Stander are quite good), most of it is difficult and often embarrassing to watch.  For example, watching miscast Tom Bosley talk to a shoebox is cringey and painful.  And, you know you’re in trouble when you see credits that list Richard Moll as a “Special Guest” (at least I think that’s the way he’s listed - I really can’t be bothered to go back and look it up).  None of his shenanigans were in the least bit funny to me.  In the end, regardless of why it’s bad, it’s still just a bad movie.

Finally, including pictures of Joan Crawford was a stroke of genius and something far more clever than the rest of this mess.

3/10