Return to Horror High (1987)

 “Class dismissed!” 23 November 2020

The movie opens with police investigating a series of gruesome murders at an abandoned high school.  It seems that a film crew was using the old building to shoot a movie based on a massacre that occurred at the school several years prior.  Who’s behind the most recent murders and are they connected to the previous murders?  

I understand some of the positive comments Return to Horror High receives for plot structure (which I touch on in a bit), but there’s really not much else that deserves much praise.  The film is called a horror/comedy. To my way of thinking, horror implies that something is frightening.  I can’t think of one moment that so much as gave me a chill.  As for comedy, I suppose a 13 year-old might find some if funny, but the attempts at humor pretty much bored me.  From a technical standpoint, Return to Horror High is amateurish at best.  The sets, props, and gore effects aren’t really effective.  And the acting is equally abysmal.  Surprisingly, Maureen McCormick (yes, Marsha Brady) gives the film’s most memorable performance - and that includes George Clooney’s 5 minutes of screentime. 

Return to Horror High’s one saving grace is its plot structure.  It’s so twisted and convoluted that it’s often impossible to follow - and I”m convinced that was part of the plan.  You’re never really sure what you’re watching.  At any one time, the film juggles four different stories (i’m not sure what else to call them) - 1. There’s the story of the original murders as seen in flashback.  2. There’s the story in the movie being filmed within the movie.  3. There’s the story of the actors/crew making the movie.  4. There’s the story of the police investigating the most recent murders at the school.  It’s an ambitious plot device and concept.  While the filmmakers don’t always pull it off, I applaud the effort.  

4/10