Mortdecai (2015)

"Kissing a man without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt.", 4 February 2015

A very short plot summary: Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) is a shady, but broke, art dealer who is hired by the British government to help locate a lost painting that may led to a fortune in hidden Nazi treasure. 

I don't get the hate swirling around Mortdecai. I've seen it called garbage, unfunny, a waste of time, etc. etc. etc. Mortdecai is the second film I've seen this week dealing with a lost Goya that may hold the key to a lost Nazi fortune (how bizarre - two movies about missing Goya's?). The other movie is the dreadful 7 Golden Women Against Two 07. For all those who have written negatively about Mortdecai, please take the time to watch the other movie I've mentioned. You will see what a truly horrible film really looks like. You'll beg to watch Mortdecai again. I admit Mortdecai's not perfect (the film could have been trimmed by 20 minutes to make for a tighter, better experience), but Mortdecai can't begin to compare to the pain that a really bad movie will inflict on your senses.

Obviously, I enjoyed Mortdecai. I've seen someone call it a good old-fashion romp - I couldn't agree more. It's fun and often quite funny. There were moments that had me laughing out loud. In addition to the comedy, the action set-pieces really stood out, featuring some nice car chases and over-the-top fight scenes. The acting was top-notch. I found Depp's affected Mortdecai extremely funny. Ewan McGregor and Gwyneth Paltrow show a real comedic flair. And Paul Bettany steals every scene he's in. Very funny stuff!

7/10

The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar (2015) (TV)

The Positive: My 4 year-old likes it. The Negative: Everything else., 30 November 2015

The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar tells the story of Kion, Simba's son. Simba commissions Kion to put together a new Lion Guard to protect the Pride Lands and preserve the Circle of Life. However, Kion's idea of a Lion Guard (consisting of a cheetah, bird, hippo, and honey badger) isn't quite what Simba had in mind. 

Oh my, how can you take something like The Lion King and come up with this mess? I was going to go through a long list of negatives, including: the lame hyenas and their treatment by the superior lions; the ridiculous fur patches (I agree with the other reviewer - it's like something out of The Power Rangers); kids able to take on tasks they couldn't realistically handle; Rob Lowe's voice work; the complete change in Simba's character; farts as weapons; and on and on. But, ultimately, why bother? I'm not in the target audience for this Disney offering. The key thing here is that as much as I may dislike The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar, my 4 year- old likes it and won't stop talking about it. I think he's watched it at least a dozen times since it originally aired. And he's constantly singing one of the songs from the show - Zuka Zama. So, I may think it's a mess with a twisted message, but it brings him so much joy that I have to rate it at least a 6/10 for doing what it was intended to do - entertain kids.

6/10