Jonny Quest "The Fraudulent Volcano" #1.16

A very weak episode with little of interest, 6 February 2010

The Quest Gang head off to some remote country (if they ever said a name, I missed it) to help the locals with a terrifying volcano. But as soon as Dr. Quest sees the volcano in action, he realizes something else is going on – something much more human in origin than natural.

A couple of years ago, I was on a pretty good pace to get through the entire Jonny Quest series and write a review on each episode. I stopped before I could do a write-up for The Fraudulent Volcano. It's such a dull episode with little going for it that I was sort of put off Jonny Quest. It's hard to get excited about the plot of this one. The volcano poses little real danger to the Quest family. And the bad guys and their ridiculous flying platforms aren't menacing enough to be effective. Sure, Dr. Zin makes a brief appearance, but he's safely thousands of miles away from the action. With little to recommend, I've got no choice but to rate The Fraudulent Volcano a disappointing 4/10.

The one highlight for me is the bad guy on the motor-scooter who looks just like Adolph Hitler. What's up with that? Makes me laugh every time I see him.

4/10

Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens (1964)

- Sindbad contro i sette saraceni
"You better kill me now", 11 August 2009

Okay, I admit it – I enjoyed Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens much more than I should have. I realize it's not what you'd call a good movie, but I can't help myself – I had a blast watching the movie. Much of it for the wrong reasons, but still, I found it terribly entertaining. The plot – who cares? Suffice it to say that the evil Omar (Gordon Mitchell), Ali Baba, and other warrior types do battle to determine who will be King. In today's world, it would be the equivalent of selecting our leaders based on the outcome of the most recent UFC pay-per-view event. Anyway, one of the real highlights for me is Gordon Mitchell. I've never considered him much of an actor and, while this movie doesn't change that, I did get a kick out of his performance as Omar. First, I had no idea that Mitchell could chew scenery quite like that. His constant overacting is a real hoot. And the scene where he wears that ridiculous looking turban – classic! Add to that the weird facial expressions and Mitchell could have passed for Harpo Marx. Truly bizarre! Second, I loved the way that Mitchell (and really all the characters) shouts every line of dialogue. Whether it's something that deserves to be shouted like, "I shall smite thee", or something that doesn't like, "We're having ham for dinner", these people sound like they're constantly competing to be heard above a jet engine. Again, truly bizarre! Another highlight of Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens (and this one has nothing to do with Gordon Mitchell) was the women's prison or harem room or whatever you want to call it. Real tough going in there. It looked more like backstage at an Atlantic City beauty pageant. Would these women really have had access to sequined gowns and glittery eye-shadow?

I could go on and on, but I'll end here. Honestly, I've barely scratched the surface. I haven't mentioned the dwarf named Jukki crawling through walls, the final battle scene complete with a lame chariot race, the ease Omar's men have in taking Ali Baba prisoner, the speed with which Ali Baba and Fatima (Bella Cortez - what a woman!) fall hopelessly in love with each other, the confusion over the film's title (Is it Ali Baba or Sinbad?), the whip carried by Omar's main squeeze Farida, or the ridiculous dance scene in the dungeon. Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens might not be for everyone, but I sure had fun with it.

7/10

Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon (1964)

- Ercole contro i tiranni di Babilonia
"There's a limit to the power of resistance.", 9 August 2009

When the King of Babylon died, he left the throne to his three children to rule the land equally. But, and it should come as no surprise, they all have designs on running things for themselves – making for lots of treachery and backstabbing. Their kingdom also needs a steady supply of slaves. But one of their newest slaves just happens to be the Queen of the Hellenes. Hercules gets the signal and jumps into action to rescue the Queen before her true identity can be discovered. Along the way, he'll do what he can to free the rest of the slaves and bring an end to the tyranny of Babylon.

As far as peplums go, Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon is on the down side of average. The two biggest problems are the lack of a memorable, big moment and Peter Lupus as Hercules. Most all sword and sandal movies worth their salt have one big memorable moment – it might be a fight scene against a Cyclops or a battle against a mechanical giant or it might be the destruction of an army – but there's usually a moment or scene that stands out. That's not the case with Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon. The closest you'll find here is probably the scene where Hercules turns the big wheel to bring down the walls of Babylon. But it's so ridiculous that it's hardly THE moment. I mean what city is constructed on top of a giant wheel that can be turned to bring about its destruction. It's the equivalent of building a modern city on top of an atomic bomb. It's just stupid! Besides the lack of a big moment, the rest of the screenplay is pretty dull. I'll admit that some of the scenes with the siblings scheming against each other were pretty good, but that's about it. Overall, not a lot of interesting things to hang your hat on.

As for Lupus, he makes for one very dull Hercules. He's got the body for it – tanned to perfection with the ever present sheen of oil – but like the screenplay, he's also dull. The man just didn't have the command or screen presence to pull of being the lead in a movie like this. It doesn't help matters that his version of Hercules insists on carrying a very large club that obviously weighs no more than five pounds. And the sound it makes when he goes into battle – bong, bong, bong. When I was little, I had a game called Bing, Bang, Bong. You arranged these small drum like trampolines just so and bounced a metal ball from one to the other. That's what Hercules club sounds like in Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon – a metal ball hitting a rubber trampoline. For some reason, I doubt that's what it would sound like if someone were to hit you in the skull with a huge club. (I do realize that it's a tricky thing to criticize anything related to sound in a low-budget Italin movie from the 1960s that's been dubbed. But in this case, I can't help myself.)

I've listed the negatives, so what about the positives? I can sum-up the film's biggest highlight with two words – Helga Line. She is the lone (and very beautiful) bright spot. Though I must admit that some of her outfits probably weren't right for Babylon in 1,000 B.C., but still, she looked good. She also has the best part in the plot. Her scheming is by far more interesting than that of either of her two brothers. But as much as I enjoyed seeing Ms. Line, by herself she can't save the movie. I usually enjoy even bad peplums, however, in the case of Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon, a 4/10 seems about right.

4/10

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

"Santa, you will never return to Earth, you belong to Mars now.", 14 May 2009

The leaders of Mars are worried about their constantly melancholy children. They've seen enough earth TV to know that Santa Claus brings much joy and happiness to the children of Earth. What if Santa were to come to Mars? Could he make the Martian children happy? So, the leaders of Mars decide to kidnap Santa and bring him to their planet. Will it work?

If you scour the internet, you'll undoubtedly run across a number of Worst Movie Ever lists. But until you've seen the atrocity that is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, I'm not sure you're qualified to make such a list. There are a lot of bad movies out there, but there's only on Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. It's bad in every conceivable way – incompetently bad acting on the part of most of the cast (Billy and Betty anyone?), some of the lamest special effects imaginable (What about that crazy polar bear?), more mugging for the camera than any one movie should be allowed (Did you catch Dropo's act?), Martian-green grease paint that comes and goes with each scene, and one of the most utterly ridiculous plots ever put to paper. Did anyone involved in the making of this thing think they were actually making a movie that was good? If so, add brain damaged cast and crew to that list of negatives. Yes, I'm fully aware that Santa Claus Conquers the Martians was intended to be a children's movie, but I'm sorry, I can't imagine a single child alive (then or now) that would sit down for more than five minutes with this abomination of a movie. In a word, it's pathetic. This is the perfect example of a movie that probably does deserve to be on a Worst Movie Ever list.

Okay, I know what you're asking yourself right now – "B2 – if the movie's as bad as you say, why have you rated it a 3/10 instead of a 1/10?" Glad you asked - as much as I hate the phrase "so bad it's good", in this case it applies in spades. I simply cannot turn away if it's on – Mystery Science Theater 3000 version or not (which, by the way, I rate a 4/5 on my MST3K rating scale). The sheer volume of craptitude draws me in like a moth to a flame. And if I'll sit and watch regardless of how much it hurts, that's got to be worth a couple of points, doesn't it?

3/10

Jonny Quest "Turu the Terrible" #1.15 (1964) (TV)

A man and his pet dinosaur, 25 December 2008

Dr. Benton Quest is deep in the jungle in search of a rare metal that might prove beneficial to the space program when he runs into a hysterical native who will only repeat the word, "Turu". The Quest Gang accompanies the frightened man and discover a mountain full of the metal they seek guarded by a crazed man in a wheelchair and his giant, flying dinosaur.

Overall, Turu the Terrible is a fairly enjoyable episode. Turu actually poses a real threat to the Quests. In one scene, the giant pterodactyl-like dinosaur gets hold of Dr. Quest and almost takes him into its lair. In another scene, the boat the Quests are using sustains heavy damage after an attack. The ending is something of a let-down, however. as we never discover who the old man is or anything else about him. There are also a couple of moments that make me laugh every time I see them. The first is the sight of Race carrying that bazooka while flying with his jet pack. He carries it like it weighs no more than a loaf of bread. And I hope he never intended to fire the thing while flying. The kick while floating in mid-air would knock him clear out of the jungle. The second thing I get a chuckle out of is the image of the wheelchair-bound old man leading his pet dinosaur to its cage. Yeah, right.

7/10

Jonny Quest "Dragons of Ashida" #1.14 (1964) (TV)

One of the coolest Jonny Quest episodes, 21 December 2008

The Quests pay a visit to Dr. Ashida, an old friend of Dr. Benton Quest's. Dr. Ashida has been doing research with the Tobura lizard. As a result of his research, he has been able to grow the lizards into 14' man-eating dragons. And if Dr. Ashida and his dragons weren't enough, the Quest Team will have to deal with a mountain of a man known as Sumi.

Thinking back to my childhood, there are three episodes of Jonny Quest that really standout. The Robot Spy, The House of Seven Gargoyles, and this one, The Dragons of Ashida, are a big part of the reason that Jonny Quest has such a special place in my memories. It's just so cool! The Dragons of Ashida has a lot going for it. Dr. Ashida is a madman of the first order. He's quite capable of doing anything (which results in his ultimate downfall). And the way he's drawn – he even looks evil. The dragons themselves scared me at one time. Today I look at them and marvel at their detail, especially in the final chase scene. Last, there's Sumi. Just he sight of an overpowering, one-eyed, bald Sumo wrestler was (and still is) amazing. With danger around every corner, two of the most vicious baddies the Quests ever faced, and the threat of ending up dragon food makes The Dragons of Ashida a winner.

10/10

Jonny Quest "A Small Matter of Pygmies" #1.13 (1964) (TV)

A "new" episode for me, 20 December 2008

Race, Jonny, and Hadji are forced to land their plane in the middle of the jungle. Once on the ground, they discover an angry tribe of pygmies who seem to only want to see them dead.

Wow – I thought I had seen every episode of Jonny Quest. For whatever reason, I never watched A Small Matter of Pygmies as a kid and I must have skipped over it back when I first went through the DVD set. It's pretty cool to make this "discovery".

As for the episode, it's not bad at all. I enjoyed it much more than the previous two. The pygmies present a real threat to Jonny and the gang. There's a sense of danger about them as they trap Race, Jonny, and Hadji on top of the mountain and begin making their advance like a single, mindless killing machine. Even though I knew the guys would somehow escape, I got caught up in the story and found it worked for me. One thing that troubled me was the malfunctioning aircraft plot device. How many times do they use that in Jonny Quest? To be as smart and resourceful as the Quest Team is, they're terrible when it comes to regular aircraft maintenance.

7/10

Jonny Quest "The Dreadful Doll" #1.12 (1964) (TV)

A case of voodoo, 20 December 2008

As in the previous episode, The Dreadful Doll begins with Dr. Quest doing some underwater research. His research is, however, put on hold when he is summoned to the bedside of a girl under a voodoo spell. Dr. Quest soon discovers that the girl has actually been poisoned. Meanwhile, Jonny and Hadji spot a mysterious submarine. Could the voodoo and the submarine be related?

In some ways, this episode of Jonny Quest reminds me of later Scooby Doo episodes in the way it's structured. You know, bad guys up to no good who use a local legend to scare off anyone who gets too close. The Dreadful Doll came first, so I'll give it a little credit on this front. And even though the main bad guy isn't all that memorable, Korbay, the voodoo practitioner, is a creepy enough foil for the Quest's. Weaknesses in the episode include too much time and focus spent on Bandit and the boys doing nothing remarkable (I guess this is a problem I have with many of the Jonny Quest episodes). Another big problem I have with The Dreadful Doll is the quick announcement from Dr. Quest that it's not voodoo, but a drug that's affecting the little girl. Kind of took all the mystery out of things way too early.

6/10

Jonny Quest "Skull and Double Crossbones" #1.11 (1964) (TV)

Don't judge the series by this episode, 19 December 2008

While Dr. Quest is busy doing some underwater research, Jonny and Hadji (and Bandit) take the opportunity get in some swimming and general relaxation. On his way back to the boat, Jonny discovers an old gold doubloon on the ocean's floor. His discovery, however, is noted by a band of pirates looking for the same treasure Jonny stumbled on. To what lengths will this band of criminals go to get Jonny's secret?

Skull and Double Crossbones is what I would call a very weak episode of Jonny Quest. I've got several issues with it. First, there's way too much padding. While every episode of Jonny Quest has a certain amount of "down time", Skull and Double Crossbones takes it to the extreme. Half the episode is made up of Jonny and Hadji swimming, Dr. Quest examining ridiculously large fish, and Bandit's comic relief. That brings me to my second problem – Bandit. That crazy dog has always been my biggest problem with the series, but here he's more annoying than usual. Swimming into a fish's mouth, riding a dolphin, or going for help – it takes out any drama that the episode might have had going for it. Finally, the bad guys in Skull and Double Crossbones don't really do much for me. Other than being overt stereotypes, their not overly memorable. End the end, a 4/10 is about the best I can do for this one.

4/10

Jonny Quest "Shadow of the Condor" #1.10 (1964) (TV)

Baron Heinrich Von Freulich - What a name!, 11 December 2008

Engine trouble forces Race to set the Quest plane down on an unusual runway high in the Andean mountains. The runway belongs to the eccentric Baron Heinrich Von Freulich, a former WWI flying ace. He agrees to let Race borrow one of his vintage planes to get parts for the jet. However, Von Freulich has other plans. He intends to use Race as an opponent in one last dog fight.

Shadow of the Condor is another very solid episode. Baron Heinrich Von Freulich makes for a wonderful foe for Team Quest. In fact, Von Freulich might just be the most interesting character to appear in Jonny Quest. From the moment he appears on screen, taking pot-shots at giant condors, you get a sense that this man is capable of most anything. Also, from the moment the Quest plane touches down, there's a sense of mystery and menace surrounding the castle high in the Andes that you usually don't find in a cartoon. And the ending - inspired and ironic are two words that come to mind.

One thing I haven't mentioned yet in my comments on the Jonny Quest episodes is the subject of characters dying. In other cartoons, characters would get shot, burnt, and stabbed. They fell off buildings, got hit by cars, and had pianos fall on their heads. All that and they walk away as if nothing happened to them. That's not the case in Jonny Quest. Characters like Von Freulich crash a plane in the side of a mountain and they don't come back. I appreciate the realism. And I appreciate the fact that it taught me that there are consequences to actions. I don't' think the character deaths in Jonny Quest scarred me as a kid and I've got no problem with my son watching them today. There's too much sheltering of children in the world today anyway.

7/10

Jonny Quest "Double Danger" #1.9 (1964) (TV)

The Quests in Thailand, 11 December 2008

Dr. Quest is in Thailand doing research with some plants that may prove beneficial to future spaceflights. While there, Race takes the opportunity to visit a giant Buddah deep in the jungle for some pictures. But when Race comes back, something's different. It takes Jonny and Hadji a while to figure it out, but there's definitely something odd going on. Race's old flame, Jade, shows up and quickly confirms the boys' suspicions - that's not Race Bannon!

Double Danger is a good, solid episode. The whole idea of a double for Race may be a bit hokey (even I realized how problematic it was as a kid back in the 60s), but it presents an unusual, "fun" situation. I've always found it funny that the highly trained double would blow his cover about five seconds after meeting up with the boys. What an idiot! And calling the monkey "Bandit" is a little to obvious a mistake. Finally, the addition of a woman to the cast like Jade was a very nice, inspired decision. I only wish she could have appeared more often.

A few episodes back, I wrote that it's kind of weird that the series was called Jonny Quest when Jonny so often had little to do in each episode. Double Danger is an exception to this comment. It's Jonny's (and Hadji's) detective work in this episode that saves the day.

7/10

Jonny Quest "The Robot Spy" #1.8 (1964) (TV)

One of the best, 11 December 2008

Desiring to learn the secrets of Dr. Quest's latest invention, the para-power ray gun, Dr. Zin sends a robot spy to check it out. Dr. Zin's unmanned ship lands near the Quest compound. Upon investigation, Dr. Quest and Race find a mysterious orb. They place it in a storage building for latter examination and go about their usual nightly routine. But, as they will soon discover, the mysterious orb is far from routine.

Even if you are only familiar with Jonny Quest on the most casual of levels, I'm confident that The Robot Spy would likely be the episode that most people would recognize. The image of the giant, indestructible, spider-legged mechanical creature is an iconic memory for many of us who grew up in the 60s. It's even prominently featured in the opening credits. Beyond the images, The Robot Spy's status as one of the best Jonny Quest episodes is well deserved. There's plenty of action, mystery, and suspense - what more could you ask for? The first time the robot hits a guard with one of the tentacles - wow! How cool was that? I enjoyed this episode as a child and still find it entertaining. I'm not sure at this point whether it's my favorite episode or not, I'll have to get through the other 18 or so episodes to make that call. But I have no doubt that it will end up in my top five.

9/10

Jonny Quest "Calcutta Adventure" #1.7 (1964) (TV)

Hadji's story and Jesse White, 8 December 2008

Through a flashback, "Calcutta Adventure" tells the story of how Hadji came to live with the Quest family. In this episode, Dr. Quest is in India lecturing at a local university. However, he has another, more dangerous purpose for being in India. He's looking for a secret nerve gas factory. When a young Indian named Hadji saves Dr. Quest's life, the Quests ask Hadji if he'll be their guide. The group heads for the mountains as the attempts on Dr. Quest's life continue. He's eventually taken prisoner in the secret nerve gas factory and, in exciting fashion, must be rescued by Race – with some help from an enterprising man named Pasha Peddler.

Overall, this is a solid episode. But then again, any episode that includes Hadji's back-story and how he came to live with the Quests is going to be worth watching. "Calcutta Adventure" features a lot of good action and creepy bad guys. The underground lair is also a nice touch. As for Pasha Peddler, he's easily one of the best ancillary characters in the first seven episodes. He's kind of like the Mr. Haney of India. It doesn't hurt that he was voiced by legendary character actor Jesse White. That voice is unmistakable – regardless of how un-Indian it might sound.

7/10

Jonny Quest "Treasure of the Temple" #1.6 (1964) (TV)

Jonny finds a fortune in treasure, 8 December 2008

At the request of a Central/South American government (I'm just guessing because I don't remember the actual country being named), the Quest Gang travel to do some scientific research at an ancient Mayan city. But they're not alone. An explorer named Perkins is already there looking for a rumored treasure. When Jonny accidentally finds a secret room, it looks like certain death for our heroes.

"Treasure of the Temple" may not be the best episode, but it's certainly entertaining enough. There's a certain amount of intrigue that goes into the mysterious occurrences surrounding the Quests' trip to the archaeological dig. And there's certainly no shortage of dangers – from spiked traps to alligators to underwater rivers to pyramids to natives to hidden rooms to a fortune in treasure, there's something interesting around every corner. Also, and a real change-of-pace to a lot of the first few episodes of Johnny Quest, "Treasure of the Temple" doesn't feature an Asian or Middle-Eastern bad guy. It's nice to see the writers could turn a white, Anglo Saxon into a killer.

Unfortunately for "Treasure of the Temple", there's nothing "big" to make it stand out from many of the other episodes. There's nothing like the mummy Anubis, for example, to make this episode especially memorable. It's good – just not great.

6/10

Jonny Quest "The Riddle of the Gold" #1.5 (1964) (TV)

The introduction of Dr. Zin, 4 December 2008

In "The Riddle of the Gold", the Quest gang heads to India to check out a mine that has suddenly started producing a large quantity of gold. The problem, as Dr. Quest has discovered, is that it's not real. Who's behind this attempt at passing-off a worthless mineral as gold? And what dangers lay ahead for Dr. Quest, Race, Jonny, Hadji, and Bandit in India?

The single best thing "The Riddle of the Gold" has going for it is the introduction of Quest nemesis Dr. Zin. When I was younger, Dr. Zin represented the ultimate in bad guys – seemingly unlimited resources, grand evil plans, and a desire to do harm to anyone standing in his path. Other than that, there's really not a lot to get overly excited about in this episode. The tiger hunt, one of the episode's main set pieces, never really worked for me.

One thing about this episode that I find odd is seeing Dr. Quest and family on a commercial airline. Why not take the private jet they always flew in? I suppose the writers did it to pad the script and create a few comedic moments with Bandit on the airplane. There's really no other good explanation.

6/10

Jonny Quest "Pursuit of the Po-Ho" #1.4 (1964) (TV)

What's wrong with calling someone a "heathen monkey"?, 2 December 2008

In "Pursuit of the Po-Ho", Dr. Quest receives an urgent message that a friend of his has been kidnapped by a group of natives known as the Po-Ho. But almost as soon as Dr. Quest and the rest of the family arrive in the jungle, Dr. Quest is also kidnapped. It's up to Race and the boys to save Dr. Quest and his friend. But how? Maybe they can trick the natives into believing that Race is the water god, Aquesio.

Until I sat down to write this, I never realized "Pursuit of the Po-Ho" was such a controversial episode. I think it's a real shame that Warner Bros. appears to have fallen in line with the thought police and edited their DVD release to eliminate the names Race calls the natives. I think calling the Po-Ho "savages" and "heathen monkeys" is pretty mild considering they've kidnapped and plan to kill (and most likely eat) Dr. Quest. I would have thought he would have done far worse than that. Besides that, I grew up watching this episode unedited. I don't think I've suffered any long lasting negative effects of the experience. It seems to me that people are just too sensitive today.

As for the episode itself, it's a good one. Lots of tension – well, at least as much tension as you can drum-up in a 22 minute cartoon. The Po-Ho are very effective and there's a real sense of danger every time they make an on-screen appearance. When I was younger, they absolutely terrified me. Evan at that age, I understood what they were about to do to Dr. Quest. And the sight of Race covered in berry juice, yelling at the Po-Ho – that's awesome. Finally, one thing I noticed while re-watching this episode is that the show should have been called Race Bannon – not Jonny Quest. More often than not, Race is the real star.

8/10

Jonny Quest "The Curse of Anubis" #1.3 (1964) (TV)

Anubis goes for a walk, 1 December 2008

In this episode of Jonny Quest, Dr. Quest is summoned to Egypt by a supposed old friend, Dr. Ali Kareem, to take a look at his latest archaeological find. But Dr. Kareem has other plans in mind for Dr. Quest and family - and they don't include sightseeing. Dr. Kareem is behind the recent theft of the mask of Anubis. He hopes to pin the theft on Dr. Quest so that his plans might be fulfilled. Unknown to Dr. Kareem (or Dr. Quest for that matter), however, the mummy Anubis has come to life and is searching the countryside for his lost possession.

I can just imagine that someone smarter than me might take a look at "The Curse of Anubis" and write an essay about the unflattering portrayal of Middle Easterners by Westerners. Or they might write about the significance Dr. Ali Kareem's ramblings calling for a unified Arab state. But you won't get that from me. I've never watched an episode of Jonny Quest and come away with the un-PC notions some other viewers seem to. For me, it's all about the mummy Anubis as he makes his slow march across the desert. "The Curse of Anubis" features one of my absolute favorite moments from Jonny Quest. It might not sound like much, but the sight of Anubis standing on the dune with the moon in the background as his tattered bandages flap in the breeze – Wow! I loved it as a kid and still think it's a great sight. The biggest weakness I see in this episode is with the ambiguity of Dr. Kareem's plans. Don't ask me what those plans are because Dr. Kareem's thinking makes very little sense to me.

9/10

Jonny Quest "Arctic Splashdown" #1.2 (1964) (TV)

Jonny goes to the North Pole, 26 November 2008

A rocket headed for space goes off-course and crashes in the Arctic. The rocket was armed with an auto-destruct mechanism, but it mysteriously failed to activate. Dr. Quest and family are sent in to investigate and retrieve the valuable scientific instruments on board the craft. But Quest and Company aren't alone. There's a foreign power prowling beneath the Arctic ice flow who will stop at nothing to get their hands on the rocket's many secrets.

"Arctic Splashdown" proves that not all episodes of Jonny Quest were created equally. To the best of my memory, this has to be one of the weakest of the bunch. The problem is nothing much happens and there's no air of menace so often present in the show. The episode features one of the lamest baddies the Quest gang would run across. After firing a torpedo at Quest's ship and hitting an ice berg instead (Am I supposed to believe he didn't see that giant floating block of ice?), #1 baddie decides not to fire again, but wait for later. Huh? How stupid is that? "Arctic Splashdown" isn't a total waste as it does feature some pretty cool gadgets like the ice skiffs (I think that's what they're called), that groovy Jonny Quest music, and that overall sense of nostalgia that I always get when watching Jonny Quest. A 5/10 seems about right for this episode.

5/10

Jonny Quest "The Mystery of the Lizard Men" #1.1 (1964) (TV)

A solid way to start off the series, 25 November 2008

Over the years, I've seen most every one of the Jonny Quest episodes at least a half-a-dozen times. When I was much younger, there wasn't much of anything on television as cool as Jonny Quest. It combined mysteries, monsters, and the unknown with some really groovy 60s music, and James Bond type gadgets. What boy wouldn't love this stuff!

Well, I'm not a kid anymore and it's not the 60s anymore, but I still enjoy watching Jonny Quest. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to give every episode of Jonny Quest another go round. I started this morning with the first episode, "The Mystery of the Lizard Men". While I don't think the sight of the lizard men's hands reaching over the side of the boat affected me the way it did several decades ago, it's still a nice moment. Overall, it's a solid way to start off the series. Spooky ghost ships, the mysterious Sargasso Sea, and deadly lasers – "The Mystery of the Lizard Men" packs a lot into its brief runtime. I don't rate this episode as highly as others because the main baddie doesn't really stand out and he's too easily defeated. Otherwise, it's an enjoyable episode. A 7/10 seems about right.

7/10

Devil Doll (1964)

Why the need for a fake beard?, 31 October 2008

Devil Doll is one of those movies that, while it will never be confused with a masterpiece of horror, is effective in its on little way. Though the story is often predictable, it's creepy enough to provide a few chills along the way – not scary, just creepy. Ventriloquist dummies like Hugo have always given me the heebie-jeebies and when you give them a soul, a mind of their own, and the ability to move (not to mention a knife), it's the stuff of nightmares as far as I'm concerned. Finally, in the case of Devil Doll, the ending really works as the villainous Great Vorelli gets what he deserves. Though nowhere near as effective as the ending of Freaks, it's very reminiscent of that film's finale. On the downside, Devil Doll would have probably worked better at 60 minutes instead of 81. Not that there's an abundance of obvious padding, but there's hardly enough material to fill the extra 20 minutes. The acting is nothing to write home about. While Bryant Haliday is effectively villainous, William Sylvester is a complete bore as the film's hero. One thing that I really don't understand is the need for Vorelli to wear the fake beard. I mean no one was chasing him so why the need for a disguise? It's not really a criticism, just an odd observation. Lastly, it would have helped Devil Doll had the script given Yvonne Romain a little more to do. Her talents are wasted walking around in a trance for most of the movie.

Devil Doll is another of those films that I've seen both with and without the Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary. And while I enjoy the movie on its own, it makes for a really good MST3K episode. Some very funny riffs and some solid host segments. I'll rate the movie a 5/10 but give it a 4/5 on my MST3k rating scale.

5/10