Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens (1964)

- Sindbad contro i sette saraceni
"You better kill me now", 11 August 2009

Okay, I admit it – I enjoyed Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens much more than I should have. I realize it's not what you'd call a good movie, but I can't help myself – I had a blast watching the movie. Much of it for the wrong reasons, but still, I found it terribly entertaining. The plot – who cares? Suffice it to say that the evil Omar (Gordon Mitchell), Ali Baba, and other warrior types do battle to determine who will be King. In today's world, it would be the equivalent of selecting our leaders based on the outcome of the most recent UFC pay-per-view event. Anyway, one of the real highlights for me is Gordon Mitchell. I've never considered him much of an actor and, while this movie doesn't change that, I did get a kick out of his performance as Omar. First, I had no idea that Mitchell could chew scenery quite like that. His constant overacting is a real hoot. And the scene where he wears that ridiculous looking turban – classic! Add to that the weird facial expressions and Mitchell could have passed for Harpo Marx. Truly bizarre! Second, I loved the way that Mitchell (and really all the characters) shouts every line of dialogue. Whether it's something that deserves to be shouted like, "I shall smite thee", or something that doesn't like, "We're having ham for dinner", these people sound like they're constantly competing to be heard above a jet engine. Again, truly bizarre! Another highlight of Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens (and this one has nothing to do with Gordon Mitchell) was the women's prison or harem room or whatever you want to call it. Real tough going in there. It looked more like backstage at an Atlantic City beauty pageant. Would these women really have had access to sequined gowns and glittery eye-shadow?

I could go on and on, but I'll end here. Honestly, I've barely scratched the surface. I haven't mentioned the dwarf named Jukki crawling through walls, the final battle scene complete with a lame chariot race, the ease Omar's men have in taking Ali Baba prisoner, the speed with which Ali Baba and Fatima (Bella Cortez - what a woman!) fall hopelessly in love with each other, the confusion over the film's title (Is it Ali Baba or Sinbad?), the whip carried by Omar's main squeeze Farida, or the ridiculous dance scene in the dungeon. Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens might not be for everyone, but I sure had fun with it.

7/10