Crypt of the Living Dead (1973)

- La tumba de la isla maldita
How is it that Young Hannah is 700 years old?, 4 February 2005

For the most part, Crypt of the Living Dead or Young Hannah: Queen of the Vampires or Vampire Women is a thoroughly retched movie. All you really need to know about the story is that 700 year old Hannah is released from her tomb on an almost uninhabited island. She bites a few locals and is then dispatched herself. There are so many negative things to say about this film that I'll just mention a few that really bothered me.

One, Hannah has got to be the slowest vampire in the history of movie vampires. I've heard complaints about the slow moving Bela Lugosi in Dracula. Bela is like Carl Lewis compared with Hannah.

Two, the characters do not act in a logical manner. I'm not talking about logic as you and I know it, but these people don't even act according to "horror movie logic". For example, a big deal is made about the effect of dog's bane(sp) on Hannah. In one scene, it is used to get Hannah to release the movie's hero. Once free of her clutches, he immediately goes after her. But, does he bother to take the dog's bane that was just used to save his life - NO.

Third, nothing really happens in the movie. I'm not talking about a slow story. Instead, I'm talking about no story. There is a great long section of the film (the first hour or so) where, literally, nothing happens. It's not till the slow moving Hannah is awakened to prey upon the illogical victims on the island that anything seems to happen.

2/10