Kiss of the Dragon (2001)

"I don't sell shrimp chips.", 13 July 2008

Liu Jian (Jet Li) is a Chinese policeman sent to France to help with the apprehension of big-time Chinese drug lord. But Jian is quickly double-crossed and finds himself on the run having been accused of murder. The one person who may be able to help him is a drug-addicted prostitute whose child is being held hostage by the same man who set-up Jian - and he's a high-ranking French policeman. Jian and the prostitute make for an unlikely pair, but they'll have to work together to make things right.

As an action movie, Kiss of the Dragon gets several things right. Both Jet Li and Bridget Fonda are more than capable of pulling off this kind of movie. Li, in particular, is exceptionally good showing the moves that have made him an internationally acclaimed martial arts star. He does a lot of different moves in the movie but my particular favorite is a quick one involving a pool ball that he sends flying with a well placed foot. Unfortunately, beyond the two stars and a wickedly evil performance by Tchéky Karyo, the rest of the movie is pretty average. It's one action/martial arts cliché after then next with the child being held hostage the icing on the cake. The only action standard the movie fails to include is letting the male and female leads fall in love with each other. And I'm glad because that would have really ruined the movie. As it is, Kiss of the Dragon is a harmless enough time waster that may lack creativity, but benefits from the presence of Jet Li.

6/10

Poirot "Murder in Mesopotamia" #8.2 (2001) (TV)

Wonderful setting, but a ridiculous plot point, 22 April 2008

Summoned to Baghdad at the behest of a Russian Countess, Hercule Poirot (David Suchet) instead finds himself mixed up in a murder at a nearby archaeological dig. This is, however, no ordinary murder. With only one entrance to the room the woman was found in and several witnesses to the fact that no on entered or exited, Poirot will have to come up with a clever solution to trap a clever killer.

Even with my 6/10 rating, I feel I may have overrated Murder in Mesopotamia. It's got some good points – the exotic Tunisian locations standing in for Iraq, David Suchet, the archaeological dig setting, and an interesting, if improbable, means of murder. And there's something extra appealing about a locked room type mystery. But Murder in Mesopotamia suffers from one hugely ridiculous plot point that I am completely unable to overlook. It's not really the fault of the makers of this adaptation - instead, I lay the blame squarely at Agatha Christie's original work. - BIG SPOILERS AHEAD – Are we really supposed to believe that Mrs. Leidner could marry a man and not realize he was her supposedly dead first husband? I cannot fathom something so far-fetched as this actually happening. I don't care how much his face has changed, I'm unwilling to take that kind of leap in logic. I've always thought it was one of the silliest things Christie ever wrote. Unless she was a complete idiot, surely Mrs. Leidner would have realized at some point that she had married the same man twice. – END OF BIG SPOILERS

6/10

The Trouble with Harry Isn't Over (2001)

It left me wanting more, 28 March 2008

If you'll pardon the pun, the trouble with something like The Trouble with Harry Isn't Over is that there never seems to be enough. I appreciate these "making of" type features, but they always leave me wanting more. As much as I enjoyed the on camera interviews with star John Forsythe, producer Herbert Coleman, and Hitchcock's daughter Pat Hitchcock O'Connell, I can't help but wonder about some of the other people involved in the movie. Did they ask Shirley MacLaine to participate? Or what about Jerry Mathers? I would have loved to have heard from either of the two.

I guess I should just be happy with what's here because the stories about the making of The Trouble with Harry from the people that were interviewed are entertaining and interesting. Listening to John Forsythe do his Hitchcock impression was a real treat. Another treat was learning about the box loads of Vermont leaves that Hitchcock had shipped to California to be used as set dressing. How cool is that? So while I may have wanted more, what's here is mighty good.

6/10

The Tick (2001) (TV)

"Wicked men, you face The Tick.", 1 July 2006

Somehow, I missed The Tick during its run on television. Thank goodness for DVD! The Tick has to be one of the funniest, most original shows I've seen. It's a riot! I can't believe there are only eight episodes.

I can pinpoint two things that make The Tick so good to me. First, the writing. Some of the dialogue in The Tick is laugh out loud funny. In the pilot episode, the first time we see the Tick, he's guarding a bus stop. His main enemy appears to be the coffee machine that has a habit of taking money from customers. I'll never forget the sight of the Tick shaking the coffee machine while saying "Armless bandit... Empty your bladder of that bitter black urine men call coffee! It has its price and its price has been payed! Java devil, you are now my bitch." Hysterical!

The second area where the show excels is in the casting. Going back to his days on the television show Dave's World, I've always thought that Patrick Warburton was one the funniest people I've ever seen. He's a big, tough, good-looking guy who can be as goofy as they come. He is simply perfect in the title role of this series. His delivery, mannerism, attitude, and look are dead on. I can't imagine anyone else playing the Tick. As for the rest of the cast, they're wonderful. As much as I can't imagine anyone else playing the Tick, I feel even stronger about David Burke in the role of Arthur. He IS Arthur. Liz Vassey and Nestor Carbonell are the two other regulars rounding out this superb cast.

It's a shame The Tick didn't last longer. Eight episodes hardly seems like enough.

8/10

Uno bianca (2001) (TV)

A solid modern day made-for-TV Italian crime thriller, 13 June 2006

Back in the late-80s/early-90s, Michele Soavi appeared to be the one of the few bright spots in Italy's struggling film community. But after making Cemetery Man in 1994, he seemed to have dropped off the face of the Earth. While Uno bianca is the only thing from Soavi that I've seen since his return, he doesn't appear to have lost anything that made him such a promising director. The direction and other technical aspects of the film are nicely done. Soavi obviously knows how to put together a long film and keep it flowing. At 200 minutes in length, Uno bianca is a long film. But not once during the entire runtime did I ever get bored. In fact, I was so entertained that I actually wanted more. While not necessarily groundbreaking, the cinematography and editing provide a lot of interest. There's a definite touch of style running throughout the film that adds much to the enjoyment.

Uno bianca is the story of the police's attempt to put a stop to a group of murderous robbers known as the "Uno Bianca Gang". Tired of the ineffective police bureaucracy, Officer Valerio (Kim Rossi Stuart) and his partner, Rocco (Dino Abbrescia), decide to take a different approach to put a stop to the gang. By re-interviewing witnesses, wiretapping phones, and setting up video surveillance, Valerio is convinced that he and his partner can discover who is behind the gang and stop their reign of terror. While the plot may sound similar to some the poliziotteschi made in the 70s, Uno bianca is more akin to a police procedural and lacks the over-the-top violence and outrageous plot points often found in those films. The film has more in common with the television show Law & Order than it does some of its Italian predecessors like Almost Human or Syndicate Sadists. Uno bianca is based in reality with real people carrying out a real investigation. That's not to say there aren't scenes of violence and bloodshed, but these moments remain firmly grounding in the real world.

A film as long as Uno bianca will only work if the acting is good and believable. Stuart is excellent in the lead role. He has a quiet confidence about him that works. Stuart's Valerio is the kind of character that's easy to believe in and root for. In contrast, Abbrescia plays Rocco a little more laid back and fun-loving. Still, he's no less committed to his job. He's the kind of guy you would like to have for a friend. And finally, Pietro Bontempo is perfect in the role of Michele, the leader of the "Uno Bianca Gang". Botempo gives Michele the intelligence and ruthlessness necessary to head-up a criminal enterprise. Similar to the point I made when discussing the plot, it's the realism these actors give to their characters that helps to make Uno bianca work. Good job, guys!

8/10

The Stepford Life (2001) (V)

The Stepford Wives deserves more than this, 13 November 2005

I just love DVDs with these mini-documentaries. The Stepford Life, however, isn't one of the best. There's just not enough interesting information or stories about the making of the movie and/or the people involved. All three of the actresses spend their interview time saying nothing but glowing things about each other. It's like one giant love-fest. They relate nothing of interest about working with one another. The director, Bryan Forbes, spends most of his screen time slamming the writer, William Goldman. He seems bitter about the whole thing. And the producer, Edgar Scherick, adds even less to the proceedings. A movie as good as The Stepford Wives deserves better than this.

4/10

Suspiria 25th Anniversary (2001) (V)

Very Interesting, 18 August 2005

If you are a fan of the movie Suspiria, you absolutely owe it to yourself to get hold of AB's three disc limited edition. Not only does it include the movie (I believe it's the same transfer used on the single disc edition), the soundtrack and this documentary are part of the package. The documentary is wonderful. Many of those who had a significant role in the making of the movie provide interesting stories about their memories of Suspiria and how it was put together. My favorite parts were the interviews with Cinematographor Luciano Tovoli and star Jessica Harper. Tovoli provides some great background into how the movie was filmed, including the use of Technicolor to get those incredibly vibrant colors for which Suspiria is so famous. As Harper is the only American to appear in the documentary, I found it particularly insightful to hear her impressions of working with Argento and in Italy at such a young age.

If I have one complaint, it's that Suspiria 25th Anniversary is too short. Suspiria is the kind of movie that I could listen to stories about the making of for hours. Instead of 52 minutes, I wish it could have been 152 minutes.

9/10

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

Disappointing, 13 March 2005

Based on the popular video game series Tomb Raider, Lara Croft is a wealthy archaeologist who travels the world seeking ancient artifacts. In this movie, Lara is racing against the Illuminati (a secret society seeking world control) to find the two parts of a device that, when put together, allows the possessor the ability to control time. To save the world, Lara must get there first.

Several years ago, I was a huge fan of the Playstation series. I would sit and play each game for several days (or weeks) until I had entirely completed it. So, when I first read the news about a movie based on my favorite game, I was very excited. Probably too excited. There is just no way a movie could have ever met my lofty expectations. And, for the most part, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider didn't come close. Having watched it again for the first time since its theatrical release, I realize that while it's not as bad as I first thought, it's still not a very good movie.

The real problem I have with the movie is the lack of adventure. The fun in playing the game was the search for the lost relic. Actually finding the relic could be anticlimactic. In the movie, everything seems to come too easy. To find the first half of the device, Lara points to a spot on the map in South East Asia and bam - she immediately finds the temple with the first half. For the second half, Lara travels to Siberia. Inside a very small ice cave, Lara knocks down one wall and bam - there's the second half. No searching. No mystery. No adventure. And this leads to no fun.

The biggest plus is the casting of Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft. From the first moment she appears on screen, she IS Lara Croft. I've never seen an actor so perfectly fit my expectations of a well known character.

5/10

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001)

Could have used a little more variety, 26 February 2005

After a meteor made up of a material known as atmosphereum crashes into a wooded area, several different people go searching for it. The first is a scientist and his wife who hope that the atmosphereum might be of benefit to all humankind. The second is a "mad" scientist and his man-made girlfriend who hope to use the meteor to bring the Skeleton of Cadavra to life. The third group is a couple of aliens who need the atmosphereum to use as fuel on their spaceship. What none of the three groups is aware of, however, is that the monster the aliens are carrying on their ship has escaped.

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is a send-up of all of those cheesy 50s sci-fi movies that some of us grew up watching. The movie is played for laughs and nothing is taken seriously. Much of the humor is very funny. Take a discussion between the scientist and his wife. The wife asks her husband why they are looking for the meteor. His response: "Betty, you know what this meteor could mean to science. It could mean actual advances in the field of science." Don't forget, he's a scientist. It's a bit like having a built-in MST3K soundtrack.

But after a while, the humor starts to get old. It's like a one note tune and doesn't really have much life. Once you've heard the jokes, you don't need them repeated over and over.

Still, the movie is lighthearted enough to be at least somewhat enjoyable. And, if you're a fan of 50s sci-fi, I'm sure you'll find something to entertain.

4/10