The Creeping Terror (1964)

Forget Manos and Plan 9 - This is the Grandaddy of Bad Movies, 15 February 2005

A few days ago, I wrote that The Skydivers was one of the two or three worst movies I had ever seen. Well, I had completely forgotten about The Creeping Terror. This is the Grandaddy of Bad Movies. Forget what you've heard about films like Manos or Plan 9 - there not even in the same ballpark with this pile of llama dung. The ineptitude on display is mind boggling.

The story concerns an alien monster who has landed on Earth and begins feeding on the populace. The monster resembles an old, large carpet with five or six guys underneath. The monster has no arms, so he must get his mouth (I suppose it could be called a mouth) close to his prey in order to eat them. In one of the most ridiculous scenes ever filmed, the female victim can be seen actually climbing up into the creatures mouth. The monster moves slower than any other creature I've ever seen. The creature from The Blob is greased lightening compared with this monster. And the people in the movie seem willing to oblige the slow moving carpet. They look absolutely silly just sitting and waiting to be consumed.

One of my favorite scenes is the face-off between the Shag Monster and the Army (here, the Army consists of six guys in the back of a pickup truck). As the trained soldiers move in with their toy guns at the ready, they are careful to stay in a very tight pack. Just when they least suspect it, the monster charges (at the breakneck speed of 0.5 mph) and crushes the tightly packed soldiers. What drama!

The movie is not without lessons for those who pay attention. For some inexplicable reason, in the middle of the film we are treated to a 10 minute lecture on how life changes after marriage. The narration is straight out of one of those 1950s school films.

As bad as this movie is, and it just may be the worst I've ever seen, this is actually my second viewing of The Creeping Terror. I'm a glutton for this kind of stuff.

1/10