Deathstalker II (1987)

Enough of the bad jokes already., 27 February 2005

Reena the Seer (Monique Gabrielle) seeks the assistance of Deathstalker (John Terlesky) for a perilous journey. Deathstalker doesn't know that Reena is really Princess Evie in disguise. Reena/Evie is looking for someone to help her overthrow Jarek the Sorcerer (John Lazar) who previously overthrew her. The journey is full of obstacles - a murderous band of cut-throats, zombies, and an Amazon army. Of course the pair finally reach their destination for the final face-off with Jarek.

Deathstalker II is just one in a long line of movies that were made to cash-in on the success of Conan the Barbarian. I realize that most of this movie is played for laughs. But most of the jokes are anything but funny. Deathstalker II rips-off so many other movies, but does so with very little success. Take the exchange between Deathstalker and evil Sultana (Toni Naples) - Deathstalker, "Do you expect me to talk?" - Sultana, "No, Deathstalker. I expect you to die." It's moments like this that left me cringing.

The acting is, for the most part, exactly what you would expect. Gabrielle delivers her lines with the conviction usually reserved for kindergarten plays. But, something tells me that Gabrielle wasn't hired for the role because of her ability as a thespian. Terlesky comes off as the kind of guy you just want to slap for being such a smart aleck. Lazar, looking like a Duran Duran wannbe, is anything but menacing. Naples, for whatever reason, plays her role in a mostly straight fashion that doesn't fit with the rest of the nonsense going on.

If your interested in a history lesson covering the type of movies Conan the Barbarian spawned or if you like overly obvious attempts at humor, Deathstalker II may be the movie for you.

3/10