Charlie Chan at the Wax Museum (1940)

"Only very foolish mouse makes nest in cat's ear.", 14 November 2008

As the movie opens, Charlie Chan finds himself at the sentencing phase of trial he has given evidence in against a criminal named Steve McBirney. After McBirney is sentenced to be executed, he shoots his way out of the courthouse and makes his escape. He heads straight to a wax museum dedicated to figures depicting famous crimes and criminals. The museum is run by Dr. Cream. But Dr. Cream has another profession – he's a plastic surgeon who specializes in making the faces of criminals unrecognizable. Dr. Cream also hosts a regular weekly radio show in his museum dedicated to crime. He invites Charlie Chan to be a guest on the next program. Reluctantly, Chan agrees to appear. But unfortunately for Chan, this week's radio program is a set-up for McBirney to get his revenge against the detective he blames for getting him convicted.

If someone would have asked me twenty-five years ago what my favorite Charlie Chan film was, I would have most likely answered Charlie Chan at the Wax Museum. It's got a whole lot to like and a whole lot that appealed to me during my youth. Secret passages, a dark and stormy night, and creepy wax figures all add up to one of the more atmospheric movies in the Chan series. Charlie Chan at the Wax Museum probably comes as close as any of the other Chan films to having actual elements of horror – something I always go for. As an added bonus, #2 son Jimmy is less of an annoyance in this film and actually gives an interesting performance as he helps his Pop with the case. It's really not difficult to see why this movie appealed to me. It's just a fun movie!

Well, and unfortunately, my tastes seem to have changed over the past couple of decades. Thanks to the recent R1 DVD release, I was finally able to revisit Charlie Chan at the Wax Museum. And while my 8/10 rating indicates I enjoyed the experience, it wasn't what I remembered. I could cite a number of problems I had with the film, but I'll just go into the most obvious. When it is discovered that someone was trying to use the wired-up chair to electrocute Chan, why doesn't Chan seem more interested in looking into this particular clue? Other than being mentioned in passing a few times, the chair is almost forgotten. Shouldn't Chan have tried to discover more about the chair like who hooked it up to the wires or what Dr. Cream knew about it? Instead, Chan spends his time running around in the dark (both literally and figuratively) trying to find a murderer. Sorry, but it doesn't add up.

8/10

Charlie Chan's Murder Cruise (1940)

"Truth, like oil, will in time rise to surface.", 9 November 2008

Charlie Chan and #2 son Jimmy join a cruise headed to San Francisco hot on the heels of a murderer. The mad strangler has already killed Chan's friend and colleague from Scotland Yard, so Charlie has to be on his toes. And with the confined space of a cruise ship, suspects at every turn, and even more dead bodies, Charlie Chan certainly has his hands full.

When you go about 35 years in between viewings, you not only forget everything about the plot (including the killer's identity), but you also forget how good a movie can be. That's the case with me and Charlie Chan's Murder Cruise. I had the opportunity to check out it out last night for the first time in over three decades. My reaction - what a wonderful movie! An excellent and convoluted plot, a ruthless killer, red herrings everywhere you look, comic relief that doesn't get in the way of the mystery, and some of the most solid acting you'll find in one of the Toler Chan films help make Charlie Chan's Murder Cruise a real winner. The cast that includes Sidney Toler, Victor Sen Yung, the always enjoyable Lionel Atwill, Leo (no G.) Carroll, and Charles Middleton is as good as you'll find in a "B" mystery from the 40s. Another big plus is the film's location. I've always been a fan of a mystery where the killer and suspects are trapped in a place with no hope of escape. And a cruise ship is one of those kind of locations. Add to this list of superlatives I've mentioned some nice pacing from director Eugene Forde and solid cinematography and lighting and you've got the makings of a wonderful entry in the log running Charlie Chan series.

8/10

Time Chasers (1994)

- Tangents
"Whoa, minutemen!", 8 November 2008

Nick Miller has developed a means of time travel using a computer and his small airplane. Needing the funds to continue his experiments, he agrees to sell his invention to a large corporation named GenCorp. But Nick hadn't planned on how GenCorp would use his time machine. On his next trip to the future, he discovers a world in chaos where social order has broken down. Nick decides he must go into the past if he is to restore the future.

Like most people on this sight, I came by Time Chasers courtesy of Mystery Science Theater 3000. And while the movie is bad, it's not as bad as a lot of the stuff they showed. Oh, it's got the usual bad acting, a dorky lead, poor special effects, some ridiculous locations (Others have mentioned it, but I've got to agree with the slamming of J.K. Robertson's office. The mezzanine of the local public library isn't a very effective or realistic looking location.), giant plot holes, and everything else you find in your typical, run-of-the-mill bad movie, but it's got something I wasn't expecting to find. It's actually got some good ideas buried under the rubbish. The whole notion of time travel, changing the future, and going into the past to make things right is a good, interesting concept. Unfortunately for the makers of this movie, I think their ideas far exceeded both their abilities and certainly their budget. It's too bad, because as I indicated, there are some good ideas to be found in Time Chasers.

The MST3K treatment of Time Chasers is good – actually, it's very good. The first time I saw it, I found myself laughing out loud. So, while I give the movie a 3/10, I'll give it a 4/5 on my MST3K rating scale.

3/10

Devil Doll (1964)

Why the need for a fake beard?, 31 October 2008

Devil Doll is one of those movies that, while it will never be confused with a masterpiece of horror, is effective in its on little way. Though the story is often predictable, it's creepy enough to provide a few chills along the way – not scary, just creepy. Ventriloquist dummies like Hugo have always given me the heebie-jeebies and when you give them a soul, a mind of their own, and the ability to move (not to mention a knife), it's the stuff of nightmares as far as I'm concerned. Finally, in the case of Devil Doll, the ending really works as the villainous Great Vorelli gets what he deserves. Though nowhere near as effective as the ending of Freaks, it's very reminiscent of that film's finale. On the downside, Devil Doll would have probably worked better at 60 minutes instead of 81. Not that there's an abundance of obvious padding, but there's hardly enough material to fill the extra 20 minutes. The acting is nothing to write home about. While Bryant Haliday is effectively villainous, William Sylvester is a complete bore as the film's hero. One thing that I really don't understand is the need for Vorelli to wear the fake beard. I mean no one was chasing him so why the need for a disguise? It's not really a criticism, just an odd observation. Lastly, it would have helped Devil Doll had the script given Yvonne Romain a little more to do. Her talents are wasted walking around in a trance for most of the movie.

Devil Doll is another of those films that I've seen both with and without the Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary. And while I enjoy the movie on its own, it makes for a really good MST3K episode. Some very funny riffs and some solid host segments. I'll rate the movie a 5/10 but give it a 4/5 on my MST3k rating scale.

5/10

The Gang's All Here (1941)

The gang may be here, but it's nothing to get excited about, 27 October 2008

A series of truck hijackings threatens to put the Overland Transport Company out of business. In fact, the company is so desperate, they agree to hire the inexperienced team of Frankie O'Malley (Frankie Darro) and Jeff Smith (Mantan Moreland) to be their saving grace. But who's really behind the hijackings? When Frankie and Jeff find themselves on the wrong end of a gun barrel, it soon becomes apparent just who the bad guys really are.

It's a good thing that The Gang's All Here only runs 61 minutes. Anymore and it would have overstayed its welcome. Oh, it's okay I suppose in an inoffensive sort of way, but it's an awfully lifeless way to spend an hour. While some of the movie is mildly entertaining, most scenes are just plain old dull. The only real entertainment comes from Mantan Moreland. He's one of those few people with enough talent and screen presence to make anything worth watching at least once. This is the first movie I've seen where Moreland is paired with Frankie Darro. I've noticed that the two made a few more movies together, but I'm not sure how much of a hurry I'm in to seek them out. Darro did absolutely nothing for me. In fact, I more often than not found his on-screen persona annoying. The rest of the cast is unremarkable and completely unmemorable. The plot – boring is the first word that comes to mind. And the supposed action sequences are anything but. Maybe there are better Darro/Moreland movies out there, but it will be a while until I'm up for discovering them.

4/10

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

"You guys are like mummy magnets!", 3 August 2008

I caught The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor with the family this past Friday night and couldn't be more underwhelmed by the experience. I'm not much of a fan of the first two Brendan Fraser mummy movies, but with Jet Li in the cast I was actually looking forward to this one. I honestly didn't expect much more than a mindless action movie. But what I wasn't expecting was something quite this vapid. Bigger and louder with more explosions isn't always a good thing. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor went beyond being mindless to the point it began to insult my intelligence. The tissue paper thin plot (which I'm not going to bother to even go into) seems as if it were made up on the spot and merely serves to string together a series of action set pieces. And there is little to no attempt made at character development. If you aren't familiar with the other movies in the series, I bet you'd be hard pressed to know anything about Brendan Fraser's character. And whose bright idea was it to have Luke Ford play Fraser's son? Was he born when Fraser's character was about 12 or something? Just one of the many examples I could cite of things that really bothered me about The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.

Despite what I've written so far, the movie isn't a total waste. Some of the action set pieces really do work despite the idiocy surrounding them. For example, my single favorite scene in the film is when Jet Li faces off with Michelle Yeoh. It's magical! Unfortunately, that scene only lasts for a minute or so and we're back to the action by-the-numbers nonsense.

Finally, I feel the need to mention the opening 10 or so minutes that provide a back-story for the Dragon Emperor and many of the events to come. That looks like it might have been an interesting and intelligent movie. I'd pay to see that story fleshed out. What I won't pay for, however, is anymore of these Gawd awful mummy movies.

3/10

Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back (1992)

"What an awesomely disgusting sight!", 2 August 2008

Move along people! Nothing to see here!

And I mean that…quite literally. Unless you're some sort of dyed in the wool Lana Clarkson fan, I sincerely doubt you'll find a whole lot about Barbarian Queen II to enjoy. Other than a couple scenes where Lana gets topless (one, where she mud wrestles for the leadership of the rebel force and, two, where she's tied to the rack) you can safely fast forward through the magical hokum, the poorly done fight scenes, and the failed attempts at acting on the part of the entire cast without missing anything. Add to that a plot that's not worth mentioning (so I won't), awkwardly choreographed action sequences, and a complete lack of anything remotely entertaining. In fact, I can't think of a single redeeming feature of Barbarian Queen II.

Overall, 30 or so seconds of a topless Lana Clarkson vs. wasting 80 minutes of your life – not a very good ratio if you ask me.

1/10