Buffalo Rider (1978)

"I found your kin. They're dead.", 27 August 2015

Writing a plot description for Buffalo Rider is difficult because there's really not much of a plot. A man named Jake Jones rescues a buffalo calf from coyotes and nurses it back to health. Later, for reasons known only to Jones, he decides to saddle and ride the buffalo he calls Samson. He rides around the West, saves a baby, and rides around some more. 

In between all of this "action", we're treated to poorly staged animal sequences that quickly turn into little more than scenes of animal cruelty. For example, we get to see what happens when you put a raccoon and a cougar on the same bit of frozen river. Or, how about putting a raccoon on a chunk of ice in a raging river just to see what happens? This is certainly what I call entertainment (please note the sarcasm). 

Overall, Buffalo Rider isn't very good. Because there's not plot, it's unrelentingly dull. The acting is as bad as you'll find. It's kind of bizarre to me that two members of Buffalo Rider's small cast appeared in Animal House. Weird! Also, the music is ridiculously bad, the lighting is often horrible, and the sound recording is sloppy. And there are way too many ridiculous moments in the movie. One example, while he goes off hunting, Jones leaves the baby he's rescuing in Samson's care. That's right, Samson acts as a babysitter! The narrator would have us believe that Samson understands his responsibility. Uh, whatever. If I have to note one highlight, it's easily the scene at the end where Jones rides Samson into a saloon for the final shootout with the bad guys. 

Finally, throughout the movie, I asked myself more than once, "Why would anyone want to ride a buffalo?" As far as I could tell, Jones has no good reason. When he found Samson, he had a perfectly good horse. As rough as riding a horse can be, it doesn't begin to compare with how uncomfortable riding a buffalo appears to be. And unlike a horse, a buffalo isn't a very dependable means of transportation. Jones is most often completely at the mercy of Samson. If Samson doesn't want to go a certain direction, he's not going in that direction. If Samson wants to stop, he stops. And there's nothing Jones can do about it. In the end, riding a buffalo isn't the brightest of ideas.

3/10