Diamond Connection (1982)

I save the 1/10 rating for movies that are so bad they offend me in some way., 2 February 2017

I save the 1/10 rating for movies that are so bad they offend me in some way. Diamond Connection is one such movie. It's an absolute cowpie of a movie with an incomprehensible plot (I'm not even going to bother going into it), poor acting, questionable character motivation, amateurish direction, horrible editing, murky cinematography, laughable sound effects, and an 80s soundtrack that will make you want to rip your ears off. It may only be 73 minutes, but it feels more like 173 minutes with half the runtime being padded with pointless chase scenes. It's a chore to sit through. Diamond Connection is a mess. 

The film does include three "names" in its cast. Poor old Gordon Mitchell is made to look ridiculous in a Middle-Eastern keffiyeh. William Berger looks like he'd rather be anywhere but here. Finally, there's Euro-fav Barbara Bouchet. She's easily the best actor in the bunch and the lone bright spot, but even she can't save this dire disaster from being one of the absolute worst movies I've encountered.

1/10