Return of the Tiger (1979)

- Da juan tao
Not a bad way to spend 90 minutes, 23 February 2008

I'm not a huge fan of martial arts movies, but I'm trying. Sure, I enjoy Bruce Lee and some of the Sonny Chiba films I've seen, but beyond that, I've always thought of martial arts movies (and this is especially true of the movies from the 70s) as a bunch of faceless, nameless people repeating the same moves in endless fight scenes. And while there's some of that in Return of the Tiger, I've decided I may need to rethink my opinion. Overall, I enjoyed Return of the Tiger much more than I thought I would. It's far from perfect and the movie does drag a bit during some of the longer fight sequences, but for the most part, I was entertained throughout. Bruce Li and Angela Mao make an interesting and appealing pair. The bad guys are appropriately bad. Add in a few funny moments, awesome title music, and an ending with plenty of fists and feet and it's not a bad way to spend 90 minutes.

Unfortunately, the copy of the movie I had available to me seemed to be heavily cut. The plot (at least what I got out of it) centers on Chang Wong (Bruce Li), a man playing both sides of a feud between two criminal bosses. His plan seems to be to force both bosses' hands so he can make his final move. Along the way, he and his female assistant will have to do battle with an army of trained fighters. I'm confident that an uncut copy of Return of the Tiger would improve my opinion and rating.

Finally, what impressed me the most in Return of the Tiger was Bruce Li. I admit it – this is the first time I've seen one of his movies. I guess I unfairly thought of him as a Bruce Lee wannabe and dismissed him without giving him or his movies a chance. I realize now that the name and image were part of a producer's marketing ploy to cash in on the fame of Lee and not necessarily Li's doing. He's got a definite screen presence that I found appealing. I'll have to seek out some of his others movies.

6/10

Malibu High (1979)

Trashy and fun, 23 February 2008

She's lost her boyfriend, she's failing her classes at school, and she has no money. What's Kim Bentley to do? The answer is obvious – become a hooker. But sex for money is just the first step for this high school student. In no time at all, she's a contract killer.

Writing about Malibu High is difficult. On the one hand, the movie is incredibly trashy and has no real redeeming characteristics whatsoever. It's all so sleazy. A high school student turned prostitute turned killer – it's almost repulsive. However, on the other hand, Malibu High is a blast. Some of what I found enjoyable may have been unintentional, but the movie is just too much fun. A high school student turned prostitute turned killer – how awesome is that?

Malibu High is low-budget film-making at its best (or worst as the case may be). The production values are bottom of the barrel. Lighting, sound, sets, etc. are laughably bad. Much of the music is so inappropriate that it's often hysterical. My favorite had to be the theme from The People's Court playing during the film's climatic chase scene. The acting . . . what's the point? It's terrible too.

Finally, one thing in Malibu High that cracked me up repeatedly was the reaction that almost every male character had to Kim Bentley. The guys in this movie must not get out much if they consider her a hottie. There's a scene with Kim going into school in all of her slump-shouldered, figure-less glory. The cat calls had me in stitches.

7/10

Tragic Ceremony (1972)

- Estratto dagli archivi segreti della polizia di una capitale europea
And I was sure this movie would work for me, 22 February 2008

On the way home from a day at the beach, four young people seek shelter from a torrential downpour at the home of Lord and Lady Alexander after their car runs out of gas. They don't know it, but the house they're staying in is to be the site of a Satanic ritual. Jane (Camille Keaton), the only female of the group, is to be sacrificed. As her male companions rush to her aid, one of them accidentally kills Lady Alexander. Things really get out of hand and everyone else attending the black mass is also killed. The four try to make an escape, but soon discover there's no escape from what they've witnessed. One by one, they meet their fates.

Gong into Tragic Ceremony, I was positive I would enjoy it. Slow-burn Gothic horror is right up my alley. I'm also quite fond of some of Riccardo Freda's other movies like The Horrible Dr. Hichcock, The Ghost, and I Vampiri. Tragic Ceremony seemed to be a sure thing. Unfortunately, things don't always work out the way they should. The biggest tragedy with respect to Tragic Ceremony is the time I spent watching this mess of a movie. With a few minor exceptions, nothing about the film appealed to me or worked for me. The characters are unlikeable, the plot is incoherent and schizophrenic, and the pacing is terrible. There's a subplot about some cursed pearls that goes nowhere and only serves to confuse things even further. In addition, nothing interesting happens for most of the movie. By the time the four leads realize they're in danger, I was well past the point of caring. And I don't understand the reviews I've read that praise the acting of Camille Keaton. I suppose it's a terrific performance if you consider an emotionless daze to be acting. The three male leads are the very definition of nondescript. They do nothing to stand out. The supporting cast includes some genre favorites like Luigi Pistilli, Luciana Paluzzi, and Paul Muller, but none is given anything to do. In fact Muller's main contribution is a two minute long monologue at the end of the movie that attempts to explain what happened in the previous 80 or so minutes. It's a weak attempt to provide a wrap-up to a very weak movie.

3/10

The Atlantis Interceptors (1983)

- I predatori di Atlantide
"If you ask me, we're just heading around in circles.", 21 February 2008

One thing you'll notice if you watch only a handful of 1980s Italian genre films is the way they rip-off…err…I mean borrow from whatever the popular fad was at the time in American movies. Movies like Conan the Barbarian, Escape from New York, Dawn of the Dead, and The Road Warrior inspired countless Italian imitators. While few of these movies can be called "good" in a traditional sense, many are at least fun in their own weird and unique way. The Atlantis Interceptors is one such movie. Director Ruggero Deodato throws everything but the kitchen sink into The Atlantis Interceptors. Bits and pieces from movies as diverse as the previously mentioned Escape from New York to Raiders of the Lost Ark are used in the movie's nonsensical storyline. It's a mishmash of ideas with one set-piece after another strung together with the bare minimum of a plot thread. Some of it works and some of it fails miserably, yet it somehow comes out as an entertaining time waster at its worst. It's best to just turn your mind off and go with it.

The plot (at least what I could make out of it) involves a group of scientists raising a derelict Russian nuclear submarine from the ocean floor. By doing so, however, they unwittingly bring Atlantis back to the surface as well. The Atlantians (is that what you call them) send forth an army of post-apocalyptic looking thugs to take over the surface world. A small group of survivors must band together, defeat the Atlantians, and save the world. That may be the plot, but The Atlantis Interceptors is really just one gun battle or car chase or explosion after another.

I guess my biggest surprise came from the number of recognizable faces in the small cast. Ivan Rassimov, George Hilton, Christopher Connelly, and Gioia Scola will most certainly be familiar to fans of Italian genre films. I'm not sure how Deodato was able to assemble a cast like that, but it does add to the movie's appeal.

6/10

Las Vegas Lady (1975)

A waste of some perfectly good cleavage, 20 February 2008

There's really not a lot to say about Las Vegas Lady. It's harmless enough, but it is little more than a dull heist film from the 70s. The movie is neither as clever nor as sexy as it strives to be. The plot is a retread of the tired old casino robbery storyline that's been done to death. Except in the case of Las Vegas Lady, I think the robbery plot was designed by a 3 year-old. The plan involves three women – one to unnecessarily and in plain view scale the outside of the Circus Cicus building, one to pose as a waitress only to blow her cover at the first opportunity, and one to stand around exposing her cleavage. That's pretty much it. Intricate, huh? Other than Stella Stevens and her aforementioned breasts, the other women involved in the plot aren't particularly memorable. Las Vegas Lady co-stars Stuart Whitman. When not pawing Stevens, his involvement in the movie is highlighted by one of the most idiotic gun fights ever put on film.

I really wanted to like this movie. It does have that 70s feel to it that I always enjoy and some nice shots of Las Vegas circa 1975. But the movie itself is too dull to rate any higher than a 4/10 – and that's probably overstating it. In the end, Las Vegas Lady is a waste of some perfectly good cleavage.

4/10

Hart to Hart (1979) (TV)

"When they met... it was murder!", 19 February 2008

If you've read some of my other user comments, you'll quickly discover that Hart to Hart isn't the kind of thing I usually go for. But, surprisingly, the show works for me. A loving relationship, plenty of money, a wonderful house, nice cars, and a life filled with adventure and mystery – this is what has always drawn me to Hart to Hart.

At the heart of Hart to Hart is its two leads – Robert Wagner and Stefanie Powers as Johnathan and Jennifer Hart. Has there ever been a more perfect television couple? It's easy to see that they were longtime friends in real life before the show started. They seem so natural together. Both are also accomplished actors and are capable of making even the most ridiculous of situations believable. And Lionel Stander as the butler, chauffeur, handyman, cook, and general do everything guy, Max, is also a real asset. Like Wagner and Powers, he came to the series with a long resume. It's a solid cast.

Looking back at some of the episodes, they may seem incredibly corny to those more accustomed to modern TV. Two people just don't find themselves in these kinds of predicaments week after week. One week you're running from drug smugglers, the next week your house is completely emptied by thieves, and the next you're recovering a priceless antique for a Buddhist temple. I could live a lifetime and never have one episode worth of the adventure the Harts experienced. And, you know what? – it's this implausibility that really makes the show work for me. I enjoy it because it is unrealistic and fanciful. Life is tough enough without having reality rear its ugly head disguised as entertainment on television. I love to turn on something like Hart to Hart (or Charlie's Angels or Wonder Woman or Banacek or whatever show you can name form this period) and be entertained, and, even for a brief moment, forget about the real problems we all face. I don't find today's reality-based television dramas entertaining – they're depressing to me.

7/10

The Mad Executioners (1963)

- Der Henker von London
Enjoyable in its own unique way, 19 February 2008

The Mad Executioners actually has two seemingly unrelated plot lines. The first involves a powerful, but secret society operating outside official channels that has set up its own court of sorts. They hold trials, render verdicts, and carry out sentencing. Their cases seem to focus on criminals who have slipped through the loopholes of the regular system. But even though these criminals are quite guilty, Scotland Yard tends to frown on hanging people. The second plot line involves a serial killer who dumps headless corpses around London. A desperate detective decides to use his girlfriend as bait. But can he get to her before she becomes the next victim?

Based on my limited experiences with these German-made thrillers, I would say The Mad Executioners is about average. When the film focuses on the secret trials and hangings, it's very good and quite interesting. The opening trial scene, for example, is very creepy with the unknown hooded judges and the foggy Thames hanging sight. But when the movie focuses on the serial killer, it doesn't work. The secret lab, for example, seems silly when compared with the serious tone of the rest of the movie. Not that cutting off someone's head isn't serious, but the serial killer's methods are overly elaborate. Until they converge in the end, these two disparate plot lines feel as if they're from different movies.

Another big plus for me is the soundtrack. The Mad Executioners has that jazzy, smokey score that I've come to expect and enjoy in these krimis. The music sets just the right tone.

While I've yet to find a German Edgar Wallace movie that knocks me off my feet, I think I'll keep looking. So far, I've found these movies enjoyable enough in their own unique way.

6/10