The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

However unfair, I can't help but compare it with the original, 10 September 2005

I'm not sure that anyone (especially fans of horror) doesn't have any idea of what to expect from the plot of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. For those who live under a rock, here's a very brief synopsis of the plot - TCM revolves around a group of friends who become stranded while traveling the back-roads of Texas. Unfortunately, they look for help in the wrong place and are soon under attack from a chainsaw welding maniac and his loony family. Most of the lost group of friends will pay for their mistake with their lives.

What Works:

- Kill Scenes. This is one of the few areas where the remake actually surpasses the original. For all the hype, TCM 1974 is not a very explicitly violent movie. Sure, we know people are dying, but we see very little of the actual carnage. TCM 2003 presents a lot of the gory details very effectively.

- Tension. Surprise, surprise – a modern American horror movie with some atmosphere. While I never felt the sense of dread or foreboding I do when watching TCM 1974, I must applaud the efforts to create tension through some relatively effective atmosphere. A perfect example is the scene where Jessica Biel hides in the closet. Very nicely done.

- R. Lee Ermey. While I'm not a fan of most of the members of the "new" family, Ermey is the exception. He would have fit right in with the Sawyers from TCM 1974.

What Doesn't Work:

- TCM 1974. It was all but impossible for me to watch this movie and not compare it with the original. The original is superior in many ways. Here's a laundry list of things I preferred in the original: the demented, over-the-top family; Marilyn Burns' escape and constant screaming; the dinner scene; the house decorated with human and animal remains; character motivation; and authentic 70s feel. The last item on my list may be a bit unfair, but the remake might have been better had the decision not been made to set it in the 70s. Few of the characters look, act, or "feel" authentic.

- Leatherface has a Medical Condition. Please just stop it! Why do many modern movies feel the need to create these ridiculous explanations for every character's motivation? What's wrong with having characters whose motivation is either that they are cannibals, backwards, or just plain evil?

- Why Doesn't Jessica Biel Die? This is almost exactly the same problem I had with Wrong Turn. Obviously I know why Biel doesn't die – you can't kill off the lead actress in the tight white t-shirt. It's all too unrealistic given the other events in the movie. All of the other members of her group are either immediately killed or so severely maimed that there is no real hope of their escape. But not Biel. With only a few scratches, the members of the family seem to take care to keep her "intact" to facilitate her escape. I never got the feeling she was in any real danger.

It's probably easy to see that I'm a fan of TCM 1974. It's difficult to explain, but the original has a gritty, brutal, savage "feel" to it that I find missing from most of the remake. And while I enjoyed the remake on a certain level, it has too many problems for me to completely endorse or recommend it.

5/10