3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt (1964)

Lame and Tame, 17 June 2006

If you've never seen Mamie Van Doran, imagine a low-rent Jayne Mansfield with even less talent. If you need proof, take a look at 3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt. In this one, Van Doran plays Saxie Symbol (oh, how clever), an out of work stripper who happens to have two male roommates. As luck would have it, all three are in need of therapy, but that costs more than the trio can scrape together. So they decide to hire out-of-work method-actor Tommy Noonan (played surprisingly enough by Tommy Noonan) to learn all he can about the three roommates and act like each during a single therapy session. That way, they hope to get three diagnosis and cures for the price of one. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that Noonan is diagnosed as suffering from split personalities. Unfortunately, the movie still has about another hour of runtime to go.

I can sum up my feelings toward 3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt with two words – lame and tame. This is supposed to be a comedy, but you've got to look hard to find anything approaching humorous. I wasn't expecting something that would have me doubled over with laughter, but I'm not even sure I cracked a smile during the entire movie. Van Doran's acting isn't that bad in comparison with the rest of the cast, but that's not really a compliment. Something tells me that Van Doran wasn't brought on board for her abilities as a thespian anyway. But other than a "blink and you'll miss it" bathtub scene, 3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt has very few of the salacious moments promised in the trailer. Noonan not only stars in this thing, but he's also has the distinction of being credited as the co-writer, co-producer, and director of this mess. Good going, Tommy!

2/10