The Doll Squad (1973)

It never goes far enough, 26 July 2006

The Doll Squad is a specially trained group of women who kick butt for the government. When a NASA rocket is blown-up after takeoff, the CIA calls in The Doll Squad to find out who's behind the sabotage and put a stop to it. To do this, the women must infiltrate a secret and heavily guarded island belonging to Eamon O'Reilly, an ex-CIA agent turned would be world dominator. Can The Doll Squad succeed in their mission?

The Doll Squad could have been great. It's got a lot of that 70s exploitation feel to it, but it never goes far enough. It's as if director Ted V. Mikels takes things to the edge but never lets the movie go over-the-top into some really cheesy good territory. With a little more camp, it could have been a winner. The Doll Squad is also surprisingly tame. Amazingly, the women stay button-upped throughout. You won't confuse them with a band of vestal virgins, but it's not the skin flick you might expect.

Production and technical aspects are non-existent. Special effects are far from "special". The rocket isn't the only explosion in The Doll Squad and, unfortunately, they all look identical – a giant wash of red color covers objects as they disappear. The scene framing is laughable. Many of the interior scenes were shot in a normal, everyday looking house (not dissimilar to one my aunt live in). Characters routinely disappear behind low hanging chandeliers during the middle of a conversation. And, I'm not sure "acting" is the right word for what's going on in this movie. Mikels has said that Aaron Spelling all but ripped-off The Doll Squad when he made the television show Charlie's Angels. One difference is that Farrah and Company came across as award winning actresses compared with what's presented in The Doll Squad.

So if it's as bad as I've written, why haven't I rated The Doll Squad lower than a 4/10? Well, while it never goes over-the-top as I would have preferred, there still some enjoyable set-pieces. And, any movie as goofy as this is bound to be filled with some of those "so bad it's good" moments. Watching a woman with a machine gun take out a gang of hard-charging guards with weapons drawn (who never get a shot off, by the way) is a pretty fun thing to watch.

4/10