The Beauties and the Beast (1974)

It's like a guy wearing a black bathroom rug and false teeth, 16 May 2006

I'm not sure if Beauties and the Beast is a movie or just a compilation of someone's home movies. The plot, if you can call it that, involves a Bigfoot type creature terrorizing a bunch of hippies and nudists in the woods. The creature looks more like a guy wearing a black bathroom rug and false teeth than an actual Bigfoot. He kidnaps girl after girl taking them to his blanket furnished cave. He gropes them a couple of times and that's about it. I have no idea what happened to this girls or if they ever escaped. This film doesn't bother with things like that. In reality, Beauties and the Beast is a cheap, poorly made, and horribly acted excuse of a softcore porn film. Everything is simply awful. I can't think of any reason, and that includes the generous supply of nudity, to recommend this one to anyone. It's just so gawd awful! And if you must watch this thing, beware of the soundtrack. It's a two pronged assault against the senses. First, there's the generic, overly-sappy elevator music. It almost put me to sleep on a couple of occasions (that, and the dull movie). Second, one of the hippies insists on singing a folk song. I think my ears may still be bleeding.

2/10