The Disappearance of Flight 412 (1974) (TV)

"This is a UFO - an Unidentified Flying Object.", 10 August 2009

A radar plane (the titular Flight 412) on a routine training mission out of Whitney AFB suddenly spots three unidentified objects on its radar. The objects are confirmed by ground radar. Marine fighters are scrambled. But just as the jet fighters get close , the planes suddenly disappear from the radar – followed shortly by the three unidentified objects. Afterwards, Flight 412 is rerouted to a secret facility where its four man crew are subjected to an interrogation about what they've seen. Or as the men are continually told, what they "think" thy might have seen. Colonel Pete Moore (Glenn Ford) sets out to find his men and bring them back home.

As hard as The Disappearance of Flight 412 strives to have the look and feel of a documentary, it never pulls it off. Instead, the movie comes across as exactly what it is – a movie of the week masquerading as a serious look at the U.S. government's cover-up of UFOs. For example, the movie makes it seem like the men on Flight 412 crack in one night with a minimum of hardship or discomfort. Good thing these guys weren't in combat. They'd have given away every secret the U.S. had in a week's time. It's not a very realistic portrayal of these well trained men.

In addition to the problems with the plot, The Disappearance of Flight 412 is never able to shake its made-for-TV origins. The sets look cheap, there is absolutely no originality as far as the cinematography goes, no special effects of any kind (the UFOs appear only as bleeps on a radar screen), and, other than Glenn Ford, most of the rest of the cast will be familiar to anyone who watched TV in the 70s. Not that the actors do a bad job – quite the opposite in fact. The acting is one of the movie's highlights. David Soul, in particular, gives a really nice performance. Other familiar faces in the cast include Guy Stockwell and Bradford Dillman.

In the end, I'll call The Disappearance of Flight 412 a slightly below average experience. As such, a 4/10 seems about right.

4/10

Policewomen (1974)

Another movie I really wanted to like, 7 March 2008

Policewoman Lacy Bond (Sondra Currie) longs for more interesting and meaningful assignments than guarding female prisoners. After almost single handedly thwarting a mass prison escape, Lacy catches the eye of her superiors and is finally given her big chance. Her assignment – go undercover to bust up an all-girl smuggling ring. But she better be careful, because this gang is deadly.

I loved the opening prison break scenes. They had a quirky feel to them that worked. After the first 10 minutes, I thought for sure I had found a winner. But after getting off to a great start, once the real plot kicks in, Policewomen loses steam. What should have been a wild, fun ride turns into . . . well, in a word, it gets boring. The plot has way too much talk and not enough action or sleaze. The case that Lacy Bond finds herself involved in isn't terribly interesting. I can't really blame Sondra Currie. She may not be the best actress I've seen (in fact, she's downright bad), but she sure does give it her all. I am happy, however, to see that after Policewomen she went on to have a good career. The casting of Elizabeth Stuart as the ring-leader Maude and Phil Hoover as her boyfriend Doc was an interesting choice. I'm not saying it was a good choice, just interesting. Policewomen also features some of the sloppiest editing I've run into recently. Big, obtrusive splices right in the middle of action scenes. It's pretty obvious that Currie and the other actors had problems with the action so cuts had to be made to set-up and finish a scene. It's really weak. The film's final scenes do help redeem the movie somewhat, but not enough to make me call the movie "good". For what it's worth, I've rated Policewomen a very generous 4/10.

4/10

Planet of the Apes "Escape from Tomorrow" #1.1 (1974) (TV)

An average way to begin an average series, 1 March 2008

"Escape from Tomorrow" is the first episode in the Planet of the Apes television series that aired in 1974. As you might expect from a pilot episode, its main function is the quickly and effectively set-up the series and the episodes that follow. The basic plot of this episode - Alan Virdon (Ron Harper) and Pete Burke (James Naughton) are two astronauts who crash land on Earth some 1,000 years in the future. Centuries previous, man effectively destroyed his civilization allowing intelligent, talking apes to assume control. The pair of astronauts is imprisoned by apes for being a threat to their way of life and their system of beliefs. With the unintentional assistance of a sympathetic chimpanzee named Galen (Roddy McDowell), the humans escape and begin running for their lives.

Other than the initial series set-up and establishing who the characters are, there's really not much going on in this episode. Royal Dano is on hand in a small but thankless supporting role to provide Virdon and Burke some assistance and, more importantly, to provide exposition. Harper and Naughton actually play everything a little too constrained. I think if I discovered that I was marooned on a planet of talking apes, I would be a little more shocked and animated about the whole thing. Their reaction is a bit too laid-back. Fans of the movies will find several familiar scenes in this episode. There's the spaceship crash, the discovery by the humans of the talking apes, the meeting of the elders, the inevitable escape, and Roddy McDowell. Not a lot of creativity here, huh? If you were to compress the movie into about 30 minutes, you've basically got the pilot episode.

5/10

Planet of the Apes (1974) (TV)

"These humans are dangerous, don't you understand that?", 1 March 2008

For those familiar with the Planet of the Apes movies, the television series should seem terribly familiar. Alan Virdon (Ron Harper) and Pete Burke (James Naughton) are two astronauts who crash land on Earth some 1,000 years in the future. Centuries previous, man effectively destroyed his civilization allowing intelligent, talking apes to assume control. Now the two astronauts, with the help of a sympathetic chimpanzee named Galen (Roddy McDowell), will have to evade capture if they are to stay alive and find a way back home. Not a whole lot of originality in the series set-up. It effectively plays like a marriage between the Planet of the Apes movies and another TV offering, Land of the Giants, that aired four to five years previous.

Almost everything is a cheap imitation of the movie. Not that the Planet of the Apes movies had extravagant budgets, but the sets, locations, special effects, and make-up are all less expensive versions of what came before. Even the actors were second tier compared with the likes of Charlton Heston, James Whitmore, Maurice Evans, and Kim Hunter. The lone exception is Roddy McDowell. Even though he plays Galen and not the better known Cornelius, he is quite honestly one of the few bright spots. Just watch McDowell in scenes with other apes. He's got the facial movements, the posture, and the walk the others actors don't quite have. Ron Harper and James Naughton are the two main human characters. While nether is particular bad in the series, nether one does anything to distinguish himself either.

It's really not surprising that Planet of the Apes didn't make it on television. Beyond lacking originality, 1974 was a time shows like All in the Family and Maude ruled the airwaves. It was also a time when families like mine only had one television and people like my Dad weren't in the mood for "kid's shows" as he put it. It never had a chance.

5/10

A Knife for the Ladies (1974)

A weird mix of genres, 25 February 2008

A Knife for the Ladies (or Jack the Ripper Goes West) is a weird mix of genres. It's a Western with a slasher storyline running through it. A mad killer is slashing the necks of prostitutes in the town of Mescal. The sheriff, Jarrod (Jack Elam) seems incapable of finding the killer, so the town's leaders bring in a private detective named Burns (Jeff Cooper). Can Burns find the killer before Mescal's brothel is left vacant?

Overall, A Knife for the Ladies is one lousy movie. Neither the horror nor the Western elements work. Until the final scene, it's a total failure. Much of the problem comes from the fact that nothing looks real. The town is obviously a set – it doesn't feel "real". The people are obviously actors playing parts. They're not "real" either. Jack Elam's old grizzled hard-drinking sheriff is so over-the-top that he's ridiculous. And Jeff Cooper's Burns is too 1970s to be authentic. A Knife for the Ladies' lone highlight comes in its finale. It's actually a nice twist that I honestly didn't see coming. I could have never guessed the killer's identity. But as nice as the ending may have been, I still can't bring myself to rate A Knife for the Ladies any higher than a 3/10 – and that's being generous.

Finally, one especially annoying aspect A Knife for the Ladies is the way it tries to play the old-school sheriff against the more modern detective. But it's all talk. There's no evidence presented of any real clash between the old vs. new law enforcement techniques. It's as if someone involved with the movie's production thought this conflict would make a good storyline so they threw it into the movie without really adding it (if that makes any sense). Predictably, the old and new get into a completely unnecessary fistfight before they can work together. It's so forced it's painful.

3/10

Truck Turner (1974)

"Turner's like a bulldog with eyes up his ass!", 9 February 2008

Truck Turner (Issac Hayes) is a former football star turned bounty hunter. His latest case puts him on the trail of a notoriously vicious pimp named Gator. Though it's not his original intention, Turner kills Gator during a gunfight. This is when all hell breaks loose in Turner's life. It seems that Gator's main woman, Dorinda (Nichelle Nichols), isn't too happy about losing her man. She offers Gator's girls and the cash they can bring in to the pimp who can bring her the head of Truck Turner.

Issac Hayes may be more of a singer than an actor, but as Truck Turner, he's incredible. Hayes is one cool cat! Whether it's chasing baddies across a rooftop, pulling out that cannon of a gun he carries, or driving in a high speed chase, Hayes pulls it all off and is believable every step of the way. The film also manages to mix some very nice comedy into all the action. Gator's funeral scene is a scream and real highlight of the film. As you might expect, Hayes did the soundtrack. While the music may not be as memorable as what he did for Shaft, it's still nothing short of phenomenal. Hayes is joined by a very solid group of co-stars including wonderful performances by Yaphet Kotto (as the mega-pimp Harvard Blue), Alan Weeks (as Turner's partner Jerry), and Annazette Chase (in the small but pivotal role of Turner's girlfriend). Kotto's always a favorite of mine, but I was just as impressed by the work of the "unknowns". But the real stand-out in the cast is Nichelle Nichols. What a woman! Who knew she had that kind of performance in her? Watching her slapping around whores is a long way from Commander Uhuru on Star Trek.

8/10

The Teacher (1974)

Not like any teacher I ever had, 4 September 2007

I can't believe how much fun I had watching The Teacher. They don't make 'em like this anymore. Having recently graduated from high school, 18 year-old Sean (Jay North) has one last summer at home before he heads to college. He discovers quite the novel way to spend his time – he begins having an affair with his 28 year-old blond knock-out of a teacher, Diane Marshall (Angel Tompkins). Things would be great for the couple if it weren't for a crazed Vietnam veteran named Ralph (Anthony James) who not only has the hots for Diane, but also blames Sean for his brother's death. Sean's had enough and decides to confront Ralph – whatever the consequences.

The Teacher is 1970s sleazy, grimy, soft-core film-making at its best. Writer/director Howard Avedis handles the plot with the casual style you would expect in the free-love 70s when 18 year-olds were treated like adults. The acting is surprisingly strong. Jay North and Angel Tompkins give much better performances than I would have expected. Tompkins is a real revelation to me and I look forward to discovering more of her work. Veteran character actor Anthony James literally steals every scene in which he appears. Avedis mixes in just enough sex, sleaze, and thrills to keep the whole thing interesting throughout. Finally, I've read complaints on the internet about the films ending. Well, I loved it. It really caught me off guard. Sure, it's as melodramatic and, ultimately, cheesy as they come - but that's what works for me. I wouldn't want The Teacher to have ended any other way.

7/10

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

"You could have dinner with us...", 3 August 2007

The plot of The Texas Chainsaw massacre is actually quite simple – A group of young people are traveling across Texas to visit a family grave-site before making their way to a concert. They run into a hitch-hiker and decide to give him a lift. Bad idea! It no time at all, they realize how crazy their new passenger is. But he's nothing compared with the rest of his family that our band of travelers is soon to encounter. They'll have to fight to stay alive or they'll become victims of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

If you were to ask me about what makes The Texas Chainsaw Massacre a horror classic and such a well remembered film, my answer would be even simpler than the movie's plot. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre has an intensity that few (if any) horror movies can match. In a nutshell, that's all there is to it. The intensity comes from the raw, gritty, brutal feel of the movie that, once the family is introduced, does not let up for a moment during the second half of the movie. Another contributing factor to the film's visceral edge is its realism. From the acting to the sets to the lighting, it all has a realistic, almost documentary feel to it as if the horrifying events on screen were actually happening. It is a gut-wrenching experience that never fails to leave me feeling drained. And isn't that the intent of a movie like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? As far as I'm concerned, this is what horror is all about.

I would be remiss if I wrote something on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and didn't mention Marilyn Burns. Her performance is quite simply amazing. Some argue that all she does in the second half of the movie is scream. Well, have you ever tried to do that? Have you ever tried to look terrified beyond all imagination for that length of time? Her only defense mechanism against the terror she faced was to scream and Burns does that to perfection. I have no difficulty at all in proclaiming it one of the ten best performances by a female in a horror movie. She's just that good.

I try to restrict the 10/10 ratings I give out to those movies that I consider to be the best of the best. I want it to mean something. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of the movies I'm quite comfortable in rating a 10/10.

10/10

The Beast Must Die (1974)

The Werewolf Break, 29 July 2006

Tom Newcliffe (Calvin Lockhart) is a man of wealth who has enjoyed hunting just about every animal possible. He has invited a group of friends to his house for a hunting party. But this is no ordinary hunt. Newcliffe has it in his head that one of his friends is a werewolf. He's not sure which friend he will be hunting, but over the three night full moon cycle, he's sure the werewolf will show himself. Unfortunately for Newcliffe and the rest of his party, a werewolf proves to be the most cunning and dangerous game he's faced.

I'll never list The Beast Must Die among my favorite films, but it's certainly enjoyable enough. The concept is original. I can't remember seeing anything similar. Much of the film is presented not so much as a horror movie, but as a mystery. These elements of The Beast Must Die worked for me. I found myself playing along as I tried to decipher the clues to the werewolf's identity. And in the end I was able to pat myself on the back for at least being half right. The Beast Must Die even gives the viewer a chance to stop and thing things over before the identity of the werewolf. William Castle would be proud of the Werewolf Break. Sure, it's gimmicky, but it's a fun, interesting touch.

There are a few things I would have liked to see done differently. I've never been much of a fan of werewolves that are more wolf than man. The werewolf in The Beast Must Die has no human characteristics. It's a wolf (okay, it's really a dog, but you get the idea). Also, I wasn't overly impressed with the lead actor Calvin Lockhart. He's just a little too over-the-top and outrageous to be effective.

6/10

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974)

- Non si deve profanare il sonno dei morti
"You're all the same the lot of you, with your long hair and faggot clothes.", 24 May 2006

And to think, I've avoided this movie for years. I love horror movies, but I'm not the biggest zombie fan in the world. But Let Sleeping Corpses Lie is different. It's intelligent, dark, witty, and creepy – and that's a hard combination to achieve. I've read a number of reviews that complain about the acting and I don't get it. I thought that Cristina Galbo, Ray Lovelock, and Arthur Kennedy were excellent in their roles. No one was going to win an award for this movie, but they're certainly not as bad as others have indicated. I also appreciate the fact that the film features what I'll call scenes of "controlled gore". There certainly are a few disturbing images, but Director Jorge Grau never lets the gore go over-the-top into quasi-parody and that's a good thing. My only complaint would be with the final scene. It's just so unnecessary. Let the movie end on a dark note. There's nothing wrong with that.

8/10

The Killer Reserved Nine Seats (1974)

- L'assassino ha riservato nove poltrone
These have to be some of the dumbest people ever assembled, 21 May 2006

The Killer Reserved Nine Seats is the Italian/Giallo take on Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians. A group of people are gathered together and one by one murdered. In this case, nine people find themselves locked inside an large, old theater with a masked killer on the loose. Each person comes under suspicion as each seems to have had some sort of motive for the killings. While some of the bloody mayhem occurs off-screen, the murder scenes are the highlight of the movie.

Unfortunately, the rest of The Killer Reserved Nine Seats isn't nearly as good as the murder scenes. There's far too much talk. These people spend an inordinate amount of time discussing things which have no bearing on the film. And these have to be some of the dumbest people ever assembled. One at a time, they seem determined to investigate the dark passageways and poorly lit rooms of the theater, making themselves easy prey for the killer. Searching the theater might seem like a good idea, but how about taking someone with you? After a while, it just becomes tedious waiting for the next victim to go off alone. The plot also includes some supernatural elements that are out of place for this kind of movie. It just doesn't fit. Finally, the ending is a mess. Maybe it was just the cut of the film I saw, but nothing was made clear in the end. A woman thought to be dead wakes up, realizes she's okay, and walks out of the theater. Uh, whatever!

I'm a Giallo junkie. I've seen the best and the worst that the genre has to offer. I had been looking forward to seeing The Killer Reserves Nine Seats, so it pains me to place this one near the bottom of the heap.

4/10

The Beauties and the Beast (1974)

It's like a guy wearing a black bathroom rug and false teeth, 16 May 2006

I'm not sure if Beauties and the Beast is a movie or just a compilation of someone's home movies. The plot, if you can call it that, involves a Bigfoot type creature terrorizing a bunch of hippies and nudists in the woods. The creature looks more like a guy wearing a black bathroom rug and false teeth than an actual Bigfoot. He kidnaps girl after girl taking them to his blanket furnished cave. He gropes them a couple of times and that's about it. I have no idea what happened to this girls or if they ever escaped. This film doesn't bother with things like that. In reality, Beauties and the Beast is a cheap, poorly made, and horribly acted excuse of a softcore porn film. Everything is simply awful. I can't think of any reason, and that includes the generous supply of nudity, to recommend this one to anyone. It's just so gawd awful! And if you must watch this thing, beware of the soundtrack. It's a two pronged assault against the senses. First, there's the generic, overly-sappy elevator music. It almost put me to sleep on a couple of occasions (that, and the dull movie). Second, one of the hippies insists on singing a folk song. I think my ears may still be bleeding.

2/10

Street Law (1974)

- Il cittadino si ribella
The film's good, but Nero gives an uncharacteristically bad performance, 14 May 2006

What do you do when you've been beaten, robbed, and kidnapped and you don't feel the police are doing enough to find those responsible for the crime? If you're Carlo Antonelli (Franco Nero) you take matters into your own hands and go after the bad guys yourself. This is the basic premise of Enzo Castellari's Street Law. It's an action packed film with enough gun battles, car chases, and bloodshed to make the most ardent of fans happy. Some of the violence may seem a little far fetched, but that only adds to the fun. Castellari certainly has an eye for action sequences and films these scenes with some interesting camera work. The film does drag a bit during some of the more dialogue heavy scenes as Nero delivers another of his endless speeches railing against the police. The supporting cast is good with Giancarlo Prete giving a standout performance. The other name in the cast, Barbara Bach, is so underutilized that I forgot she was in the movie a couple of times.

As hard as this may be to believe, Franco Nero is actually the weak link in Street Law. Some of his reaction shots are ridiculous. Nero's character gets the stuffing beat out of him several times in the film. During these beatings, Nero has a look of complete astonishment on his face as if he didn't realize these baddies were going to beat him up if he kept interfering with them. This is just one example, but Nero needlessly overacts in several other scenes throughout the film. I don't know if it was Nero's fault or if Castellari is to blame, but it hurts the film.

7/10

The Barn of the Naked Dead (1974)

Mean and Ugly, 4 May 2006

My, oh my! I feel like I've entered one of the seven layers of Hell. Barn of the Naked Dead is one of the worst examples of "filmmaking" I've run into. A serious critique of the movie would be ridiculous and making fun of the technical aspects of the film or much of the acting is so easy that I'll not even bother. Instead, I'll limit this to a brief comment on the plot – or lack thereof. Barn of the Naked Dead literally has no coherent plot. A few story ideas pieced together with scenes of unnecessary violence do not make for a plot. Take a look at the kind of films I like and you'll quickly see that I'm not squeamish when it comes to violence on screen, but it needs a context. Otherwise, it's just mean and ugly. Without a plot, the violence in Barn of the Naked Dead feels like that – mean and ugly.

If Barn of the Naked Dead has one saving grace that keeps it from sinking to the absolute bottom of the heap, it's Andrew Prine. While I'll never understand some of his professional decisions, he always comes across to me as a very capable and interesting actor. I've yet to be disappointed with him, just some of the movies he made.

2/10

How to Kill a Judge (1974)

- Perché si uccide un magistrato
Maybe I should re-watch this one now that I know what to expect., 21 April 2006

Giacomo Solaris (Franco Nero) has just made a film about the hypocrisy in the judicial system focusing on one particular judge and his ties with the Mafia. As life often imitates art, the real life judge he used as a basis for his character is brutally murdered just as in his movie. Solaris begins to weave his way through a web of corrupt politicians, mobsters, and those with a grudge against the judge to find the killer.

My rating for How to Kill a Judge is probably not a very good indicator as to the quality of this film. It's not that How to Kill a Judge is all that bad or anything, it's just that I was hoping for a different movie. How to Kill a Judge is a fairly entertaining drama with interesting characters, good locations, and a nice twist at the end. Franco Nero is as solid as ever and his scenes with Francoise Fabian are the standout moments of the film. There's some real chemistry between the two. The simplicity of the ending was refreshing, especially after having watched Franco go through the complicated and tangled web to reach the finale.

But, as I said, this is not the movie I wanted. I was hoping for an over-the-top polizia thriller similar to something like Syndicate Sadists or Almost Human. Instead of an action packed cop film, How to Kill a Judge is so dialogue heavy that it often gets dull. And, it doesn't help anything that the movie goes off in several different directions without any real purpose. A tighter script and a little more action would have gone a long way to making How to Kill a Judge the movie I was looking for.

5/10

Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974)

Peckinpah and Oates - A Winning Team, 21 March 2006

From IMDb, "A family scandal causes a wealthy and powerful Mexican rancher to make the pronouncement--'Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia!' Two of the bounty-hunters thus dispatched encounter a local piano-player in their hunt for information. The piano-player does a little investigating on his own and finds out that his girlfriend knows of Garcia's death and last resting place. Thinking that he can make some easy money and gain financial security for he and his (now) fiancée, they set off on this goal. Of course, this quest only brings him untold misery, in the form of trademark Peckinpah violence."

In general, I do not enjoy depressing movies. Life is tough enough without having to watch how bad someone else has it. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia is no ordinary Hollywood movie where everything is okay in the end. There is no "happily ever after". This is dirty, depressing, and uncompromising. With Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Gardia, Peckinpah created one of his most violent and unforgettable films. Watching Warren Oates character Bennie is a lot like watching a car crash. It's all but impossible to look the other way. It's truly an outstanding performance by Oates. In fact, I'll go so far as to say it might be the single best piece of acting I've ever seen.

9/10

Rabid Dogs (1974)

- Cani arrabbiati
Bava's grittier side, 16 February 2006

I have now seen all but a couple of Mario Bava's films. I've always enjoyed the way Bava seemed to reinvent himself with each movie. But Rabid Dogs represents even more of a departure from the norm for Bava. It's more akin to something Sam Peckinpah might have made than it is to such seemingly varied films as the Gothic nightmare of Black Sunday or the Technicolor dream of Hercules in the Haunted World or the campy fun of Danger Diabolik. Rabid Dogs is gritty and brutal and rarely lets up on the tension. The story involves three small-time robbers/killers who think that with their latest job they've hit the big time. During their escape, they pick up a frightened woman who will become the target of their abuse and an older man with a very sick child. Together, these six people will go on a nihilistic journey with only death waiting at the end. The confined set (90% of Rabid Dogs takes place inside a car) adds immensely to the psychological tension and physical threat these three desperate men represent. There is no place for the captives to go to escape the overbearing fear they face. Bava films this small space with some remarkable camera angels that build on the hot, claustrophobic feel of the movie. Gone are the colored gels and dream-like lighting Bava seemed so fond of in his earlier movies. Instead, Rabid Dogs is filmed in such a realistic manner that you can almost feel the sweat, grim, and dirt that comes from being trapped in such small space. Finally, even though I was able to predict the movie's outcome in some detail, it's quite shocking to watch as the final twist unfolds.

If you're a Bava fan, Rabid Dogs may not be the kind of movie to which you're accustomed to seeing, but it's one that shouldn't be passed-up.

8/10

The Antichrist (1974)

- L'anticristo
Skip It, 19 December 2005

Dismissing The Antichrist as a rip-off of The Exorcist is too easy. Sure it was designed to cash-in on The Exorcist's success, but it's not the first movie to ride the coattails of another movie. Just look at all the sequels that Jaws spawned (Piranha, Tintotera, Crocodile, etc.) for an even better example. My problems with The Antichrist have nothing to do with comparisons to The Exorcist. Instead, I think that The Antichrist is a mess of a movie on its own.

I suppose that for a movie of this type to be effective, it helps if the audience cares or has some sort of feelings for the characters. Other than the main character, Ippolita Oderisi (Carla Gravina), we never learn enough about them to care what happens to them. As for Ippolita, she's so unlikable that I couldn't have cared less whether she was possessed or not. She's a bitter woman with no redeeming characteristics that I could discern. Even before the possession, she seems to relish making everyone's life miserable. And why should it bother me that she is possessed by the devil? She asked for it – literally. So, she got what she wanted. I had no sympathy for this woman, and without that, the movie doesn't work.

There are other problems with The Antichrist beyond whether or not I cared about the main character. The acting is plain old bad. Even somewhat accomplished actors like Mel Ferrer look like their starring in the local amateur hour. In one scene, I swear he looks embarrassed to be anywhere near this film. The only actor of any consequence who comes off with any dignity in tact is Anita Strindberg and that's just because of her limited screen time.

I suppose that I'll leave it at that and not write anymore about the other areas where the movie fails. Writing about everything I had a problem with in The Antichrist is like shooting fish in a barrel. I could target the special effects, a score that's not up to Morricone's high standards, or the cheap attempts to gross-out the audience, but you get the idea.

3/10

Dirty Mary Crazy Larry (1974)

"You know what a man would do right now if he were smart?", 26 November 2005

Needing money to finance a racing team, Larry (Peter Fonda) and Deke (Adam Roarke) decide to hold-up a grocery store. Things are going as planned until Larry's one-night-stand, Mary (Susan George), turns up in the getaway car. The three must settle their differences if they are to evade the police and make their escape.

What Works:

- The Stunts. Dirty Mary Crazy Larry is such a simple movie. It's the kind of movie that's best enjoyed with your bran turned off. This isn't rocket science, it's a car chase movie. The chase scenes are expertly filmed with a minimum of cuts. We see everything exactly the way it happened. And, as the film was made in 1974, we're seeing real people perform the dangerous action and not some computer generated idea of what the stunts should look like.

- The Acting. Everyone in the movie is great. Fonda and George may get top billing, but Roarke really shines. Roarke's Deke is flawed character with a lot of heart. His scene with Mary toward the end of the movie is perfectly played and unexpectedly emotional. I'm amazed that Roarke didn't go on to bigger things.

- The Ending. That ending took some real guts. The movie sucks you in and makes you really care about whether or not these characters are going to make their escape. And out of nowhere comes that ending. Wow!

What Doesn't Work:

- The Dialogue. Some of the dialogue reminded me of a foreign movie that has been translated into English. Some of the lines just didn't seem natural. I don't remember grown adults actually talking like that in the 70s.

- Susan George's Accent. For the most part, George does a good job of covering her English accent. But there are times when it slips through and is a bit distracting.

I realize that Dirty Mary Crazy Larry isn't the type of movie to appeal to everyone, but I had a blast watching it. It's the kind of entertainment I enjoy. The Region 1 DVD is fantastic with a nice documentary featuring Fonda, George, and director John Hough. The fun they had making this movie really comes through. Fonda, in particular, acts like a schoolboy as he reminisces about the movie. They appeared to have as much fun making it as I did watching it.

8/10

Emergency Squad (1974)

- Squadra volante
I've come to expect more from a cop movie with Tomas Milian, 23 November 2005

When a band of crooks kills a police officer during a daylight robbery, Inspector Tomas Ravelli of Interpol quickly discovers that the gun used by the robbers matches the gun used to kill his wife some years previous. Whether the Italian police want his assistance or not, Ravelli makes it his mission to track down the killers and avenge his wife's death.

It may not be fair, but I can't help but compare all of the Italian cop movies I see with Almost Human (my favorite of those I've seen). And Emergency Squad does not compare favorably. Almost Human was a thrill-a-minute ride with some surprising scenes of brutality. Emergency Squad, on the other hand, is almost a by-the-numbers cop movie that's very nearly bland.

I suppose that my greatest disappointment comes from the fact that I've come to expect more from a cop movie with Tomas Milian as the star. Generally, I really enjoy Milian's work. It doesn't matter if he's playing the cop or the crook, he usually a very entertaining actor with something different to offer in each role. His character in Emergency Squad is the exception. I'm convinced that almost anyone could have played this part as effectively as Milian. He chomps on a cigar, has a perpetual scowl on his face, and doesn't talk much. He's just not a very interesting character.

I realize that most of what I've written would seem to suggest I didn't enjoy the movie. That's not true - Emergency Squad is a well-made, fairly entertaining movie. While it may not be a new all-time favorite, it's definitely worth a look. But, if you're looking for one of the best examples of an Italian cop movie, look elsewhere.

NoShame has once again delivered a quality DVD for the Region 1 market (I'm starting to sound like a commercial for NoShame). Image and sound are great considering the type of movie we're dealing with here.

5/10