Return of the Ape Man (1944)

Talk about false advertising - What happened to George Zucco?, 31 May 2009

Two scientists, Prof. Dexter and Prof. Gilmore (played by horror legends Bela Lugosi and John Carradine), have developed a method of reanimating a frozen body with no adverse affects. They decide to test their discovery on a primitive man frozen in ice for thousands of years. Again, they find success. Still not satisfied, Prof. Dexter wants to place half of a modern brain into his primitive guinea pig. But where to find a brain? Prof Dexter's not above murder if it will advance his theories.

I'm usually willing to cut these Poverty Row films a break, but Return of the Ape Man features the worst of what these movies had to offer. First off, there's the incredibly misleading credit sequence that promises George Zucco. I'm a huge fan of Zucco. I was actually more interested in watching him than either Bela Lugosi or John Carradine. And even though his name appears twice in the opening credits, he's nowhere to be found. What's up with that! Next, the overall acting is absolutely terrible. Carradine has so little to do that he's hardly in the movie – and acts it. You can usually count on Lugosi for a fun performance, but even he appears to be going through the motions. The rest of the unknown cast is abysmal, except for Teala Loring. She provides the one lone spark Return of the Ape Man has to offer. Thirdly, the titular Ape Man is hardly an Ape Man at all. He looks more like a guy with long hair and a beard. It's a hoot to listen to character after character describe the hippy looking dude as more ape-like than man. My guess is that Monogram came up with a title and had a script before they checked their budget for the special effects necessary to create an Ape Man. Finally, even by Monogram standards, Return of the Ape Man is cheap looking. Often, the sets look like they might have fallen over had someone breathed too heavily in the wrong direction. And the Arctic expedition scenes are laugh out loud funny in how cheap they are. A few seconds of stock footage followed by Carradine and Lugosi standing around talking while wearing the most ridiculous fur coats and hats does not make for a very authentic looking scene. Return of the Ape Man might be the bottom of the proverbial barrel as far as Poverty Row thrillers goes. I'm being generous with my 3/10.

3/10