Agent for H.A.R.M. (1966)

"Better go back to the judo range.", 24 June 2009

Agent for H.A.R.M. is about the lamest excuse for a spy movie that I've ever seen. Everything from the plot to the film's supposed hero to the locations is second rate. The lame plot concerns Professor Jan Stefanik and his search for the antidote to a biological weapon he created while working in some unnamed Eastern Bloc Communist country. A U.S. agency known as H.A.R.M. sends one of its top men, Adam Chance (Peter Mark Richman), out to protect the Professor. Complicating matters is the Professor's bikini-wearing niece, Ava Vestok (Barbara Bouchet), who may or may not be in league with the bad guys. Agent Chance bungles things and the bad guys are able to snatch the Professor. Can Chance rescue the Professor and save his secrets? Does anyone really care?

I realize that attempting any sort of comparison between Agent for H.A.R.M. / Adam Chance and James Bond is an exercise in futility and a waste of time, but here goes anyway:

- James Bond – Sean Connery looking debonair in his tuxedos and tailored clothing ----- Adam Chance – Peter Mark Richman doing his best Mr. Rogers impersonation in his ever present cardigan

- James Bond – Constantly faces the prospect of defusing bombs ----- Adam Chance – Watch in awe as Chance dismantles a television

- James Bond – Movies are filled with really cool gadgets ----- Adam Chance - The spore gun – a weapon that shoots a wad of green goo. Admittedly, it leads to a horrible death, but come on, it looks like something Nickelodeon might have come up with in the 90s.

- James Bond – Drives awesome cars like his Aston Martin ----- Adam Chance – Drives the family station-wagon

- James Bond – Constantly wooing the ladies and charming them over to his side ----- Adam Chance – Comes across as a perv in a raincoat on the beach

- James Bond – Super villains with massive, secret, underground lairs ----- Adam Chance – The bad guys use an airplane hanger in Mexico

- James Bond – Exotic locations like the casinos of Monte Carlo or the ski slopes of the Swiss Alps ----- Adam Chance – Spends most of his time at a rented beach house in Southern California

- James Bond – Beautiful women like Ursula Andress or Honor Blackman ----- Adam Chance – Barbara Bouchet (Okay, this one's a draw. Bouchet is easily the best thing that Agent for H.A.R.M. has going for it.)

See what I mean – there's really no comparison. With all that being said, however, I'll be generous and give Agent for H.A.R.M. a 4/10. Despite its many shortcomings, there is some entertainment value to be had. As unexplainable as it may seem, I do enjoy some of the movie. But that probably says more about me than the quality of Agent for H.A.R.M.

4/10